YOU ARE THE REASON
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If we take every chance
To be kind to ourselves
To each other
To use our hearts as intended
It’s still a tragedy
If we don’t
It’s only a tragedy
If i can carve a happy moment
Out of saying something
To make you smile
I can carve out a lifetime
Of waiting for that shoe to drop
What better use of a lifetime
Than being distracted by your smile?
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What am I supposed to do when all I want is to hold him. I need to protect my heart but he’s gonna steal it and i’m gonna be happier than I’ve ever been. And that’s crushing to think about. My heart is melting and I’m letting it.
Most days im falling asleep
That last thought washes over me
Its death
This could be it
It always can
Hopefully it will be my last thought
Cosmic goodbye
Maybe i’m around the corner
Maybe you’ve heard of me
Im a dream oh so far away
Tucked in the closest part of you
I’ve worked so hard to realize
The only part of myself that “sells”
Is the insane
Fucking boosted ego trips
And gnarly self idolization
The general public needs criminally insane
Heart thumps twice
I think of him, adios.
We’d run without training
Through every nevercominghome.
Pacing around
Remembering, how, you exist
Walking through such pedestrian alley
Aligned with mischief and scoring drugs
Laid out in a field of buttercups and hangovers
Waking up tomorrow.
I wonder how much of a toll this crushing,infinite,sadness has really taken on me. I do everything to laugh,andsmile,andfallinlove, and it persists. There’s nothing to write a note about besides apology, so don’t fucking owe one.
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Maybe i want to get married to be entangled with someone forever
Maybe i just want to marry you
Maybe you’ll make up the difference.
“Hmmph” I exclaimed.
“What!?” She smirked.
“You already know the line i’m gonna use”
“And that is?”
“…you’ve met me at a very strange time in my life..”
And she lined up the shot. It felt better than death.
Why couldn’t we keep being those kids?
You do drugs for the wrong reason, you do them thinking ‘this’ll work, this is how i reach middle age and keep propping myself up.’ Like the bullet hole’s not already protruding through the back of your skull. Its wrong, you don’t get to see the monster and hide in a bale of hay til it leaves. It’s still in there mother fucker. So if you ask me for my death certificate, don’t be surprised when it’s in your name.
Yeah uhh; if you really. Im lost still, feed me * redacted*
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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For some people its not a choice that they get
Some things cut too deep
Some things never heal
But you can carry band aids
And you can uplift people even in small ways
Its not where you’ve been its where you’re walking
I dont know the value of desire
Within such listlessness
For years
if i died in your bed
you’d wake up just as alone
Can i just call you pretty all night?
Just one night
I can scream it into a void
Pray you frequent the same darkness
I want to strip your land of natural resources
To see you barren and listless
All your birds weeping for death
Gallows constructed high for everyone to see
Darling
Let me ruin beauty
I almost died a couple times as a kid
Saw the light fade away long before i would try to kill myself
And ive met a million broken hearts
And cried at funerals
And i think of people whom i not only loved but still get to own a piece of me
I wrote a note and cried until i couldn’t do it when i saw the word mom on the page
I’ll say howdy darling
And i’ll laugh until im breathless
Flash doe eyes whenever i can
And implicate anyone around to a fucked up joke and a desperate call for kinship and fucking merriment
I will frolic
But you dont get to be okay again
Not after some things
You can still be yourself
I can still smile
Okay?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Twenty dollars in a mustard deprived fridge lay before me, “fuck she drank my beer” echoed.
Lets get burritos and watch the simpsons
Lets drink macchiato’s and make out to a chet baker record
Lets spend all day in bed and play pretend
Lets find out where the mayor lives and protest light bulbs and the occult (theyre luring the mothman closer)
Lets stay up late whispering
Lets get mud on our shoes
Lets make a declaration about it
Lets wipe the tears away and forgive ourselves