shit posts

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep

fish love me women also love me!! everyone love me!!! yayy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'AI Overview' I DIDN'T ASK FOR THAT. I WANT OBSCURE REDDIT THREAD. I WANT 15 YEAR OLD QUORA POST. GET OUTTA HERE SCRAM

not naming names but some of you are so creative and talented it's an honor to have you in my phone

every time it rains i have the urge to say “well our plan to stand alone in a field with a metal rod is out” which no one ever recognizes is from phineas and ferb but usually kills anyway

i hate how they market alexa as a ‘member of the family’ like that’s SO fucking blatantly insidious and terrifying also if i wanted an untrustworthy/cold/emotionless machine in my life i’d just talk to my fuckin father 

“Guys stop bullying my wiretap”

#did we all collectively forget why Big Brother was called that

It's the most beautiful thing mankind has ever created.

the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.

Statement of Y/N, regarding their time in servitude to the entity formerly known as One Direction. Statement begins.

no way i just saw people in tiktok comments crying screaming throwing up at the idea of aslan being a jesus figure. worsties the lion literally dies to save edmund (the sinner) and then rises from the dead. he tells the pevensies he can be found under a different name in our world. what else could this have meant

A second 'Soldier Poet King' has hit the tiktok.

never seen that show but I did watch it on tumblr

H

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HORSE!

a good sumerian inexplicably donated five packs of 500 temporary tattoos to the classroom, each pack featuring identical pictures of a different invasive species of bug

i meant samaritan you jackasses i was typing with one hand bc i was putting on one of the temporary tattoos and it got autocorrected

gosh i love subways. more methods of transportation should involve being enveloped by the earth

the sickness at the heart of the modern world is that when we need to get to the other side of the planet we go the long way around on planes instead of dropping some sort of capsule down a tunnel that cuts through the earth's core