Sal Gelles

loud static from the radio compulsive thrusts in the mind hardened, emotionless, painless. it all sinks, anyway...

My own forbearance, uncertain helplessness, controlled chaos, conscious forgiving, promises left unsullied, soon fulfilled, yet never to(o) empty.  The soul cries as the body leads itself further from eternity, time leads itself as I follow behind. O sweet Mara, forgive me, as I cast aside your glare, I’ve too many other things to focus my mind on, and far too many things I’ve got to give up (on), as I’m down and out on my own damned luck. You too shall find salvation in the weakness, given way now, leaving room to strengthen, room to grow, leave this mess, start anew. I beg thee, Sidhartha, find me in peace, give me your blessings and help me calm my mind. I ask only for the wisdom, I’ve given my own, and it’s left me burnt out and bummed.

I'm trying To put together the pieces I've lost, Some endless puzzle, And find a whole picture through the holes In character, Substance Abuse, Self-deprivation. Somehow, Trials and tribulations expose More than ignorance, More so, the exposure shows true color, And colorized, I retreat, Oversaturated, Underwhelmed, Bored with myself. I'm hopeful, The future shows more, now, That progress can be made, That there's [hardly] any true sense of hope, For character, In substance Abuse, Shell-shed.

Sub-standard performance, queue slack-jaw clown fucking his way downtown, pushing shit through streets, perpetuating the illness stuck in all our minds that there's never enough

I wouldn't be surprised to find you're lying and that everything was some small part to a grander scheme, That nothing holds value in the world, we're all saying separately, that nothing is what it means. I have nothing, I am nothing, and I'm ready to die.

She's complicated, rather, she complicates me, but I think it's just to keep me busy while she's away. She's loved, rather, she loves me, but it's hard when I can't love anything but myself. She's gone, rather, she's going to kill me, but only after she finds I'm leaving.

I'm relentlessly gone, far beyond where I swear I would be, but someday, I'll be back on track, and show the purpose to you

I've been nothing to everyone and now I'm everything to myself, yet part of the catastrophe of life is the sadness, and I have to feed it. It only eats whiskey.

I was shot in the back of my head last night it was only a dream, but I awoke instantly. I let the cat out, smoked a cigarette, and fell back asleep digging through the mess of my mind. I guess I have a lot to sort out, but I have sorted out I have nothing to fear. Death feels like falling back asleep right after you've been awoken. I swear I saw God