🦇pissing on today🦇

need a hat that says I WONT SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO AND ITS NOT BECAUSE IM DISINTERESTED AND DONT LIKE YOU I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND SOCIAL INTERACTION AS WELL AS MOST PEOPLE AND ASSUME BY DEFAULT MY PRESENCE IS UNWELCOME AS A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE SO I KEEP TO MYSELF BUT I DONT MIND IF YOU INITIATE so i can wear it to work

*becomes a knight strictly because the local bard is cute, and I want him to write songs about me*

*becomes a bard strictly because the local knight is cute and I want to write songs about him*

*becomes the village idiot because of a chemical deposit in the well behind my house*

*becomes the evil wizard because the local strong knight is cute and I want to get beaten by them.*

*dumps my evil chemicals in the well behind some random dude’s house*

“I was hoping they’d beat me and forget about it but to my horror they stuck my work up on the fridge”

what if you had a cunty little bob and a fun knife collection and then your best friend died and you bring him back inside your head and somehow you become a mother and a father and a sister at once to a child who MIGHT be two of your dead friends and then you become nonbinary and find out that child is actually the soul of the earth. happened to my good friend paul.

if they're gonna remake The Princess Bride, it should open with a kid sick in bed scrolling on his phone. his grandpa arrives with a gift--it's a DVD player with a disc already inside. grandpa hooks it up to the TV and presses play. and we all just watch the original 1987 film again.

My new pet peeve is people completely misunderstanding the term Male Gaze and making the term female gaze based entirely on that misunderstanding

the white boy of the month pushing his hair back and reading poetry for the camera is not the equivalent of the dehumanization of women in visual media by way of presenting them primarily as vessels for sexual gratification

weary and wary are not the same word and have very different meanings and if i see one more person use wearily when they mean warily I’m gonna combust

thank you for this reply you get the funny crown today with bonus points for accuracy

Harrowing: someone in your Fandom just made an innocuous and harmless post that nonetheless betrays a deep misunderstanding of the character and the character's narrative purpose and you just have to sit there and let them be wrong lest you be an asshole

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already