🦇pissing on today🦇

I’m not just a good pair of tits. I’m also incredibly annoying

The birds outside my window:

You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.

This is DEFINITELY someone I call an expert.

I’m desperate to know who Gary is. So I can also avoid him.

"dog residue" post means so much to my ocd

nothing can break the bond between a friend who loves spoilers and a friend who just watched an amazing show and needs to tell someone the entire plot from start to finish

alternatively: nothing can break the bond between a friend who doesnt read and a friend who just read an amazing book and needs to tell someone the entire plot from start to finish

nothing can break the bond between a friend who cannot and will not watch horror but is still interested and a friend who just watched an amazing horror movie and needs to tell someone the entire plot from start to finish

it doesn't matter which country we're talking about here, if someone from any country in the world says "oh where i am from there is simply no racism", you not only shouldn't believe them, but you should actually never take them seriously about anything ever again.

"There's no platonic explanation for this" <-you need to be nicer to your friends. Right now

#STOP SAYING 'PLATONIC' WHEN YOU MEAN 'CASUAL'#RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE PLATONIC AND ABSOLUTELY DERANGED