You are the shield.

a shit ton of lines from different vines.

‘ look at all those chickens. ’ 

‘ i’ve always wanted to do this! ’

‘ i fell down the stairs. i hate when nobody shares. ’

‘ can you tell me a bedtime story? ’

‘ bro, you can’t tell anybody. ’  

‘ yeah, i’m good. i’m just happy for you.’ 

‘ dude, it’s like we kissed! ’

‘ TAKE THE PICTURE! ’ 

‘ oh, my god. we just locked eyes. ’

‘ yooo! ’ 

‘ you look upset. ’

‘ i got bit by a spider. it gave me superpowers! ’

‘ i’d be a unicorn. because no one believes in me. ’

‘ yeaaah, yeaaah. ’ 

‘ the only fitness here is me fitting this pizza in my mouth! ’

‘ well, i don’t have to do anything except pay taxes and die. ’

‘ girl, you look fierce today! WE LOVE IT. ’

‘ can i get a waffle? can i PLEASE get a waffle? ’

‘ I WON’T HESITATE, BITCH! ’ 

‘ i’ll beat your ass if that’s a ticket. ’ 

‘ you want some vodka? ’

‘ road work ahead? uh, yeah, i sure hope it does. ’

‘ i smell like beef. ’

‘ you better STOP YELLING. ’

‘ your secret’s safe with me. ’

‘ and we are two very supportive guys. ’

‘ MY BEST FRIEND POOPED HIS PANTS! ’

‘ honey, you’ve got a big storm comin’. ’  

‘ fuck you, that’s why! ’

‘ yeah, no shit, honey! ’ 

‘ today’s forecast. we can clearly see that somebody got me fucked up. fucked. up. ’

‘ is that a weed? i’m calling the police! ’

‘ just shut up and die slowly, okay? ’ 

‘ i sneezed! ’

‘ i got my hat on backwards and it’s time to fucking party. ’

‘ hey, how you doing? ’ 

‘ i’m doin’ just fine. i lied. i’m dying inside ’

‘ oh my god, why can’t you just take the fricken compliment! ’

‘ and they were roommates! ’

‘ i wanna fucking die. ’

‘ you remember one time i liked you? ’

‘ yo, drink this vodka down the hatch. c’mon. ’

‘ mother trucker, dude! that hurt like a butt cheek on a stick! ’

‘ he needs some milk! ’

‘ the yo-yo master did not answer. he just kept on yo-ing ’

‘ WHAT’S UP, FUCKERS? ’

‘ bored as sheeeet. ’

‘ do you ever shut the fuck up? ’

‘ welcome back to me screaming.   ’

‘ sorry, i’m on the toilet. ’

‘ babe, are you serious? ’

‘ i gotta go home cause i forgot to… vacuum my room.  ’

‘ NO WHAT’D YOU SAY? WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE! ’ 

‘ do you miss anyone? ’

‘ how are you doing? ’

‘ do you believe in ghosts? ’

‘ what makes you laugh? ’ 

‘ list your top three bands or singers. ’ 

‘ how many blankets do you sleep with? ’

‘ does your name hold any special meaning to you? ’

‘ gum, cake, pie or ice cream? ’

‘ favorite book? ’

‘ are you a good person? ’

‘ describe love. ’

‘ have you ever taken part in an uprising? ‘

‘ favorite song? ’

‘ name a guilty pleasure. ’

‘ the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you today? ’

‘ tell me one truth and one lie. ’

‘ do you like people? ’

‘ what motivates you? ’

‘ describe the perfect weekend. ’

‘ any pet peeves? ’

‘ do you need a hug? ’

‘ would you like to have kids? ’

‘ do you have any tattoos? ’

‘ classical, oldies, punk, hip hop or country? ’

‘ when was the last time you cried? ’