Like I know it’s been canon for a minute now that she likes girls but I still can’t get over that her name is Kitty Pryde. Kitty. Pryde. That’s her Name. Like this is my character Cock Flamer he is a heterosexual. Xmen is a comedy.

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Like I know it’s been canon for a minute now that she likes girls but I still can’t get over that her name is Kitty Pryde. Kitty. Pryde. That’s her Name. Like this is my character Cock Flamer he is a heterosexual. Xmen is a comedy.

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*SPIDERMAN BRAND NEW DAY SPOILERS*
Watching Spider-Man bnd kind of felt like giggling at characters in a horror movie in the sense that the characters don’t know how laughably stupid and insane they’re acting since they aren’t genre-aware, but specifically for this movie it was watching a powerful man go “I am going to use you and women you care about as tools for my own ends and I am going to kidnap and psychically torture you to do so” and fully believe this is going to go well for him… like this is Jean Grey… the last time this shit happened to her she fucking Jaunted that man and then killed 5 billion people unrelated to the event bc Spider-Man wasn’t there to talk her down. I can’t believe that motherfucker made it out alive. Like he and New York got off Easy. Like Oh sure let’s all piss off and psychically torture Jean Grey. While we’re at it we may was well read aloud from that old creepy book written in Latin and also play with that Ouija board. Let’s all split up bc we’ll cover more ground that way. You fucking morons!!!
*SPIDERMAN BRAND NEW DAY SPOILERS*
The way that even without any Cosmic Bullshit or Xmen stuff (both great) this is still the best Jean adaptation we’ve gotten maybe ever… like yes she is full of love and rage and anger at how unfair the world is to people she loves and when she snaps she decides that maybe the rest of the world isn’t worth caring about but also she cares so much about the world and people who love her!!! She is an apathetic cosmic entity and also she’s a teenage girl she’s angry and she cares so much and all of it is motivated by love…. I’d say we’re so back but we’ve never been here before. Anyhow to those of you who haven’t read the comics, I have the absolute joy to tell you that aside from probably a few minor personality changes that can be explained by a different backstory and era, THIS is Jean Grey.
“Armends” stop I love him

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Imagine the reason Louis doesn’t have his leg is because Armand was just fucking around with his fuckass machete
No and it’s this specific adaptations focus on the hardships of life and necessity begetting monsterhood, how these characters are vampires before they’re actually vampires (with some notable exceptions) and their reasons are good and understandable but they’re not less monstrous for it (how else was Louis to make money and keep his family from going under? Yet he still puts women on the street, etc) and the Monster of all Monsters, the Mother of Vampires, being introduced with a rant about all of female suffering throughout the last 6000 years…God this show is so good.
This show introduced a formula, that the word is hard and unfair and that can cause monsters to be created, then made. What else could have created the Mother of Vampires but all the suffering of women since the start of history. Holy shit. I can’t wait to see more of Akasha.
One of my favorite things about Armand as a character is how much of a hypocrite he is like. It’s this combination of being one of the more empathetic characters in the series (ironically. And this doesn’t mean he feels sympathy to be clear) and a staunch refusal or inability to examine or face anything he’s been through that leads to like. It’s complicated but in the books (spoilers) he gives his children, who TLDR of The Vampire Armand are human kids who remind him of himself as a human child (again I don’t know if he ever notices this) to Marius for safekeeping and is fucking shocked and horrified when Marius hurts them to hurt Armand (turns them). Like. He has this whole crash out at Marius for doing to these kids exactly what he did to him but he could never see it for what it was until it was done to others like him. In IWTV he makes some mention of like oh Claudia was made too young how tragic her life will be so hard and Louis (understandably) frames this as Armand not knowing Claudia and like ofc being generally a dick responsible for her death which like yeah all true but also like would (book) Armand maybe know something about being made too early? And in TVL Armand fucking HATES Gabrielle like HATES her and it’s like oh ok so there’s this parental figure with a very predatory relationship with her child which ofc Armand would know nothing abt duhh except here he immediately is like wow this woman is the worst. And yeah I think a lot of it’s framed as like he’s obsessed with Lestat which right true but. Come on. Like he’s always the first to clock something being genuinely wrong for other characters when it mirrors his own trauma but also he staunchly refuses to examine any of his own trauma or the fact that it exists. Like idk man it’s so interesting.
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the failure(s); the many loves of the vampire lestat
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The thing that’s so fun abt Daniel and Lestat hanging out sex drugs and rock n roll style is that they’re both such fucking FREAKS but like in such different ways. Daniel’s favorite hobby is (was? Will be? TBD) cucking his boyfriend and drinking each others blood but Lestat has foursomes in elevators and sex dreams about Jesus Christ and also actual sex with his actual mom so he probably has Danny boy beat there as only few do but also Lestat we must remember is from 18th century France and does LSD One (1) fucking time and loses his shit so bad he nearly falls over like 5 times gets his shit rocked and then reveals his vampirism to a bunch of corporate drones, oopsies!! Happens king, we’ve all done embarrassing things at work parties, meanwhile Daniel “not new to this but true to this” Molloy (“this” being recreational drug use) who has probably used crack pipes in ways most of us could only dream of and is presumably on the exact same drugs as Lestat not only manages to Not get his shit rocked but to stay sharp enough to continue to grill Lestat about his childhood trauma. GOD this duo is fantastic.
AFTER ALL THIS TIME IT’S STILL YOU
Funniest part about smallville is Clark always waiting for the victim of the week to pass out before he saves them so he doesn’t reveal his identity. Extremely funny. Most superhero shows have a mask or a hood or whatever but he’s just running around smallville in his flannel and jeans, face card facing the world, so the only way his identity goes unseen is if everyone he saves is literally unconscious. Hilarious. I love this stupid show.

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Anyway crazy how destiel’s canon. You ever think about that.
Wow Buck so cool that you like men. This means nothing to me. Marisol get out of my house.
SCREAM.