SEMI HIATUS

    Oh boy, where to begin. Well... I can not remember if I ever went into the specifics on this blog, or mentioned it at all, but for some time my family and I were struggling to pay rent. Nothing we did would work, you know? We were worried we'd be evicted. It was terrifying, honestly, as we had nowhere else to go if we were forced to leave, and far to many pets ( four dogs, four cats, a bearded dragon, tons of fish; all of which are dear to our hearts ) to be able to keep them all if it happened... However, I am happy to say that we are now in a slightly more stable position! We’re still not doing the greatest, I’ll admit, but we at least haven’t been evicted. Our landlord has been so kind to work with us as she has. Although, our lease is up this month, so the future is a little uncertain right now… Finger’s crossed that she’ll allow us to renew?

    Then, I also can not remember if I'd mentioned it either, but... I have a lump above my thyroid ( or an enlarged thyroid? I haven't had an ultrasound yet so... ) that has been tormenting me and growing larger for a year and a half now. A painful lump, might I had, and one that was driving me a bit crazy with worry, and with the symptoms it just happened to be causing. It was way overdue, with cash being tight for the majority of the last year, but! I was finally able to manage a doctor visit! It… turns out that it is indeed either a nodule or the left side of the thyroid being enlarged. My doctor, nor my aunt who is also a physician, are not quite sure why it is as painful as it is, nor why it has grown as… awfully aggravated, as thyroid nodule’s are not supposed to be painful at all. However, I was also diagnosed with Hypothyroidism ( where your thyroid is not producing as much as it needs ), so it is possible that helping the one may infact fix the other? There are reports that the drug I’m on for my thyroid has been shown to reduce the size of nodules, ( and with that maybe, just maybe, the pain as well? ) so I’m hopeful? My doc doesn’t seem to believe it will, but… as the course of action he proposed to take was to remove the left half of my thyroid completely, I’m trying to hold out hope that the drug works. I’m personally absolutely terrified of surgery, especially on my neck there, so I want to give the drug a chance. Though, I don’t even know what to do if it doesn’t at least reduce the pain, as I can’t imagine living the rest of my life with this agony.

    And, I kind of have also been struggling with depression for much of my life, so with everything as hectic as it has been these last few months, and the constant pain and nausea that struck me on a daily basis, it... my depression reached an awful level, and I guess I just shut down. I feel like I barely remember these past months, as I've been so out of it and... defeated, and... I don't want to go into the specifics of my mental state or worry anyone, but... I am doing better. I am on the medications I desperately needed, and my mental state isn't as... concerning as it used to be. I'm more hopeful, despite all of the pain and illness. Although my mind still feels... exhausted, and is still recovering and returning from where it's been for so long.

    So, yeah, I guess that’s kind of it? There’s honestly not much else. Again, I really am sorry that I just up and left. I'm sorry for all the people I just vanished on, or never responded to, or... It was never because of you, you are all amazing and kind people, I just... you know... Thanks to the assortment of drugs I’m on now though, I’m in a better place, and hope to only get even more better as time goes on. I truly have missed being here, and I do want to attempt to come back some day. It may be soon, or it may be a month or more, but I will return!