Random Things My Asshole Idiot Slut of a Muse Said
βWell, I donβt see anything wrong with a few spirits and lively conversation."
"I am willing to indulge your little whim, this time.β
"Stop being so damn attractive."
"Would you rather me push you against a wall and have my way with you?"
"Why do I have to be intoxicated to pay you a compliment?"
"I'm serious about marriage, even if it technically wouldnβt be legal and require a few forged documents."
"Is interspecies marriage even legal on your planet?"
"Canβt I give you a complement without being accuse of some wrong doing?"
"Iβm not handsome, I just clean up nicely."
"I hardly think I would consider my behavior last night cute."
"Letβs just try to keep it reasonably quiet. Remember this is a library."Β
"Itβs a long story that I donβt have the time to get into now. But humans can be very intrusive."
"I got into a bit of a scuffle at the pub. Do you mind coming to bail me out?"
"So, thatβs the truth. Youβre shagging a space crocodile."
"Just go to bed and sleep off the distillery youβve just consumed and weβll talk about it in the morning."
"I love you deeply, but you, my dear, love to wallow in misery."
"The most I know about lambs is that they go rather good with mint sauce and cabernet sauvignon.βΒ
"I donβt walk Β around here telling you about all my sexual conquest."
"Unbelievably, you have gone through a whole day without groping me in some way."
βGo back to your book, dear. I donβt need a pity grope.βΒ
"I doubt youβll be interested in seeing a couple of older fellows go at it."
"They are terrible things in the universe but believe me they are greatly outnumbered by the wonderful things."
βWhen have I ever been the type to kiss and tell?"
"Is there anything that wonβt make you lament on your mortality?"
"I was commenting on how wonderful the vastness of the universe is and you turn it into something dark."
βDespite what you think, there is no sexual tension between [name] and I."
"Just know if you two want to, as they say, spice it up a bit, Iβm here.β
βIβm sorry Iβve been a bit short tempered lately. Iβm just in a bit of a drought.β
"No, I will not get off the phone. No, I will not stop shouting until your idiot boyfriend/girlfriend listens to me."
"I see you're enjoying what those lovely lips [name] have to offer."
I never went into a situation saying I'm going to cheat on you. It just kind of happens. I'll admit it was very enjoyable during, but I would beat myself up about it after."
βNo, no, no, youβre not going to do this. You canβt just come running back to me becauseβ¦ With you who knows why?"
"I jolly well deserve the thumping thatβs coming my way.βΒ
βI could tell you what Iβll like to be full of, but that would be very counterproductive to my apology.βΒ
βMe, dramatic? Β I hardly think I am being dramatic. If there is anything I aim for it's modesty and simplicity.βΒ
βIβm sorry about leading you on for my own tawdry pleasures."
βIβm sorry, I really am. I shouldnβt have done it again, but to be completely honest, I doubt I wonβt do do it again.β
"Well, I can't help it if I exude charm and random humans want to pull me into broom cupboards and have their way with me."
"You have that look, that look of disapproval."
"I am here to stop this travesty of a wedding."
βQuick question. When arenβt you drunk? And youβre a melodramatic drunk at that.βΒ
"Well, you did look at me as I entered the room, but it wasn't my face you were looking at."
"Honestly, why do you think I am trying to charm someone into my bed? You know, I am not purely motivated by sex. There is much more to me than that.βΒ
βMaybe, I just want to spend a quiet evening reading while I nibble on a few biscuits and enjoy a few spirits.β
βWell, there might of been an explosion or two and the chlorine gas was due to a mislabeling accident."
βI am not the snappy one, thatβs you. I am as agreeable as one can get."
βOk, I may have a terrible attitude and may behave awful sometimes, but how dear you say I donβt do any work."
"Well, I prefered to be wined and dined first. Weβll see where it goes from there."
"How about some dinner and dancing? I bet you could cut a rug with the best of them."Β
"Just because I say nothing doesnβt mean I havenβt noticed you. Iβve been paying very close attention."Β
"Β What do you expect? IΒ am a lonely old man."
"What better hobby is there on this primitive planet?"
Β "[Name] hardly seems like the 'experimental' type.βΒ
"Donβt you see Iβm in the middle of something? Youβre killing the mood."
"That was the last of my gorgonzola cheese, you skinny idiot."Β
"I thought my choice of clothing was quite dashing?"