the taste was bitter on their tongue , almost making them gag . the way beau felt right now , kai knew it ( had experienced it before – ) their arms wrapped ‘round beaus bleeding body . oh no , what happened , who did this , who would dare … eyes burning , their hands now stained red & usually : they would not mind , but never did they want beaus blood on their hands . « my love , what happened … » no , no , he could not die [ not again ] I JUST GOT YOU BACK , I CANT LOSE YOU AGAIN . wanted to scream out those words , but did not . simply held him , held him close - winced at the blood that kept on dripping through their fingers . warm and almost disgusting .
« who was it , love , who did this to you ? » shaking hand raised , pushing bloody strand of hair out of beaus face , only smearing more crimson on his forehead . heart beating out of their chest , swallowing harshly . trying to ignore the sickness that wanted to take over . felt as though bile was collecting in their throat , trying to ignore it . this was not about them , this was about beau . « you won’t die , i wont let you . » not again , not again …
but they felt it , the life slipping from the man they held to their chest . treacherous sob from their throat . « i dont know what to do , love , i dont … know what to do to help you . » like a helpless child they felt right now , usually … it was them who killed , but now , they held the love of their life in their arms : dying . « i dont know … what to do , tell me what to do , love … what do i need to do … »
he thinks back to when they first met —— ran into each other outside of the office. introduced themselves as a friend of atticus’s. he loved kai from the first moment he saw them. they just got married . . . all that life they spent the past years building together, stolen from him with the stroke of a knife. he was going to die tonight. most of his blood left a trail from the place he was stabbed to his house. paramedics wouldn’t arrive on time. he’d bleed out here, in his husband’s arms.
“ i don’t . . . i don’t want to die. ” he repeats, gripping kai’s arm as tightly as he could. it wasn’t very tight. beau could feel himself slipping away, attempting to hang on for as long as possible. “ i don’t want you to be alone, i love you. ” he’s started to cry now, tears spilling from his eyes and down his cheeks. he was scared, more scared than he’d ever been before. breath is shallow, he can’t tear his eyes away from kai’s face. they look scared too.
beau swallows and it tastes metallic. why won’t he stop bleeding? when did everything stop hurting? perhaps he should have known this would happen when he learned the truth about kai. that metallic mask his assailant wore, he recognized it from that group who worshipped his husband. he should have known someone would get jealous, cross the line. he had these concerns and never voiced them. now he was paying the price. “ i don’t want you to be alone. ” beau repeats, voice filled with sorrow. “ i don’t want you to be alone. i don’t want to be alone . . . ”