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The beating of her heart threatened to pull her under. 

Part of her fear had begun at the thought that there was a possibility of not having Sam in her life any longer. That missing him might absolutely break her in half. That wasn’t something she ever considered with anyone, not in this sense but here she is, feeling a powerlessness that corrupts her entire being. Hard to fathom, even to herself but as her position in the universe demands it, here she is trying to fix whatever had been broken, even when there’s zero comprehension of what had been shattered. It is why she is here, against better judgment. Here she is looking for an answer to a question that she hasn’t even dared to ask and when he questioned her with his About us? Cassie almost didn’t know what to think. “Yes, Us…” Because I thought there was an us. But those words stayed in the confines of her mind. Maybe she had read too much into it herself, which means she is making a fool of herself at this precise moment. Whatever was going through his mind demanded distance from Middleton, from her, and Cassie should’ve respected his desire but the damn fear of the unknown had overplayed itself prompting her to be standing in front of him at the doorway to limbo.

Way to go Cassie. 

“I didn’t mean to intrude on your time of solitude but I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong with us and I don’t like that idea…and I –” but she is interrupt by the sound of her name on his lips, the feel of his touch against her arm and she stops babbling. Her eyes are locked on his chest, for the first time noticing that he was shirtless and it causes her face to burn. Not out of embarrassment, but by the sheer disregard of boundaries from her part. The last thing she wanted was to force herself into his space. But all of that had been thrown out, caution was scattered into the wind and Cassie felt oddly foolish for acting without any use of reason. “Sam, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t be here.” 

Breathe in deeply Cassie.

“You don’t have to do that. I can probably find somewhere to stay. I don’t want to impose…” But she knows well even as the words left her mouth that no, he wasn’t going to accept that. One of the things that Cassie admired the most out of Sam was his protective nature. Always someone who would go above and beyond for someone who might be in need. It has been proven time and time again. It was one of those things she had come to love about him. She always knew there was something special about Sam, that was never in doubt, but when he offered to buy the building just so her shop wouldn’t cease to exist, something within Cassie had been forever altered. He had altered her view on feelings that she had denied herself from feeling since her late husband’s departure. 

Her legs moved on their own accord following behind Sam. There was no focusing on anything other than his back as he guided them to his bedroom. It didn’t feel right for her to step into his room. It was like stepping into someone’s mind and if you didn’t have permission to be in, it was a major invasion of privacy, even now as he had given the green light to step in, she didn’t feel deserving of stepping into a place that would riddle her with more questions. Still, she forces herself in, tries to keep her eyes on him instead of looking around though it doesn’t go unnoticed the half unmade bed, nor did it go unnoticed the scent of coffee when she first entered the apartment, he couldn’t sleep and she felt guilty for it. There was something weighing heavy in him, that much she could deduce but she isn’t ready to figure out what exactly. As he turned with items of clothing in his hands, she snapped back into reality and she released a breath she had been holding for way too long. “Um, thank you..” She accepts it, hugs the fabrics tight to her chest, eyes on his face. There’s sadness in his eyes, the lack of the shine of wit and happiness that usually lies there and she feels the pang in her chest that almost makes her double over in pain. 

“Sam…” She starts, shaking her head. Cassie leans against the door frame thinking carefully of the next set of words that were about to leave her mouth. For someone who was incredibly perceptive, Cassie was missing a key amount of information as to why they are here right now. “Are you upset with me?”

It hard to digest the change in energy. Just days ago there was a positive charge jolting Sam forward in-spite of Cassie’s desire to wait for more - and now well, the energy from John shoved Sam all the way to New York City. Even with the woman he’d fallen for standing before him in the middle of the night couldn’t change the breaking felt just hours before. It had been clear Cassie was comfortable with the John and, truthfully, who could blame her? A blast from the past rolling back into the woman’s life with a new outlook and warmth radiating from somewhere with. Years of fond memories during adventures Cassie held near and dear to her heart had given John an advantage. This beautiful woman was not a prize to be won but a woman worth fighting for. However, it was time for Sam to concede to allow Cassie to find happiness in a man who knew far more than Sam ever had the chance to. John had a soft spot and warm smile for his long time friend. Whether that warmth from John was his heart or dick was not any of Sam’s business. Clearly, Cassie was alright with the vibe John radiated which left little room for Sam.

A nervous habit of licking lips presented as everything fumbled within. Heart jumbled about, stomach twisted and turned and mind couldn’t focus on anything but the sight of this remarkable woman tucked against the handsome archeologist. Intrude. A funny word considering. They wouldn’t be in their current predicament if Sam hadn’t intruded into Cassie’s space.It was difficult to find proper words to convey comfort without leading the other to believe things were fine. They were not fine but they could be as soon as Sam finished licking his wounds and returned home.

“You are staying here.” Words left no room for argument. It’s late. Finding a hotel room at this time would be easy in the city but take much time for check in. It was plausible Cassie didn’t wish to spending the night in the apartment. If a relationship with John had begun there was a high probability staying in Sam’s home wouldn’t bode well for the new connection. A feeling of defeat pulsed painfully within. This shouldn’t be this hard. Finding out of Linda’s deceit hadn’t hurt this much. “…unless you would rather be elsewhere.”

Blue hues softened at the sound of his name falling form lips. There was a sadness lacing the tone which stole breath. Sam had never been someone who could hide feelings and now was no different. Cassie’s body language did not present how Sam assumed she felt. Everything was confounding leaving a frazzled feeling buzzing within. The question wasn’t a surprise. Answers could be given the following morning but sleep would not come easy for either if they waited.

Panic plummeted his heart and jumpstarted thoughts. It became increasingly difficult to focus on any one thing. As a physical, a surgeon, carefully dictated thoughts and cautious words were routine. Never had someone mixed everything to the point words slipped out without second and third contemplation… until now. “No. I’m not upset with you, Cassie. I’m just trying to accept the choice you’ve made.” Eyes held contact conveying the exhaustion of fighting for something more behind them. Tone was overcome with disappointment. Never did Sam want to force guilt upon someone for making the right choice for them. This wasn’t about him. Sam’s pride and ego needed to take a backseat to accept the choice Cassie has made. “I won’t continue to compete with John. There is no competition. You are not a prize to be won.” Words kept flowing leaving little room for contemplation before they presented. “You are an amazing woman who deserves to be shown the world and it’s clear John is willing to do that figuratively and literally. It’s just - seeing you laying there with him - “ It was impossible to stand still any longer. Eye contact broke as feet shuffled towards the large windows overlooking the city. Arms folded over his chest as if the act would prevent further heartbreak. A pause was taken to gather any more thoughts before they were spoke. Lungs filled with air before slowly pushing it back out to calm firing nerves. The blood rush from the onslaught of emotions heated skin to the point it was tinting pink. This wasn’t how he expected the conversation to go. Then again, he hoped they would never have it.

Competitive. 

Now that was a word that seldom described Cassie. It wasn’t fair to enter into competition when you practically knew all the outcomes but this was different. Intimacy with Sam was different from any experience she had come to live through. With him, parts that had been long buried had come to the surface. Ignited a fire in her that only Sam was able to put out and he knows it. Makes use of it at any given chance he can get and she enjoyed it immensely. “Competitive…” She hummed, closing her eyes as she got trapped between the counter and his solid body. The weight, the warmth was almost beginning to make her feel weightless, for a moment losing the sense of time and space to the point where she almost didn’t see it coming, his hands on her hips pulling her up almost effortlessly and a smirk played across her lips.

There was something about Sam taking charge that made her feel just right.

“You know…” She begins, hands on his shoulders, slowly running down his chest. Solid muscle beneath her palm flexing and the need to simply rip the shirt of him became too strong but she stops herself, eyes opening to look into his, the storm of lust swirling intensely and her breath hitches. Cassie remembers the first time she looked into his eyes full of need and want for her, remembers how every cell in her body screamed in need themselves. She never had experienced something so surreal like that moment. Never had Cassie ever desired someone like she wanted him, even now. “We have more than enough time for repetition.” She says casually, right hand running all the way down to the hem of his shirt, slowly lifting it until it was high enough for her to /help/ him out of said offending piece.

A hum like moan is freed from parted lips as his light feather kisses dance along her skin. He is pushing, wanting to see how far they could go before locking themselves behind a locked door. Adrenaline course through her, that sense of adventure that had been locked for so long finally breaking free. The shirt that had been previously taken off was dropped to the floor, nails dragging down his skin with enough force to leave angry red marks down his chest.  “Sam…” Voice laced with warning and desire, Cassie finds herself rendered powerless to everything that is him.

“Competitive.” He repeated with a soft laugh. The Tinsdale’s and their card game could attest to Cassie’s desire to win. It was a rare moment but both Sam and the Tinsdale’s enjoyed the hidden part of Cassie that evening and the following afternoon. Remembering the antics which followed the silly spouse trap game pushed forth another chuckle. They may not have won the game, either of them, but Sam felt like a champion every single day with his wife. She was magic and myth, an enigma wrapped in a riddle, a puzzle the doctor enjoyed putting together piece by piece. 

Cassie Nightingale was full of surprises. Today, this morning to be precise, was just another one of them. Sam couldn’t hold back the smirk as fingers guided down his chest leaving a trail of fire in their wake. Never had another woman evoked such a primal need to claim, mark and love before. The first feeling of animalistic desires was watching Ryan dance with Cassie. A low growl escaped making Sam very glad he had been alone in that moment. The way the man’s hands caressed Cassie’s form, the way his lips hovered too close to skin, the way his eyes closed as if he were holding his most prized possession all irked Sam Radford. It wasn’t fair to Cassie for Sam to project his negative attitude about her new dating situation in the couples direction but feelings couldn’t be controlled. These days weren’t much different. Trust was evident and unwavering but bouts of jealousy and self conscious thoughts led Sam right into his wife’s arms… or in this case legs. Knowing he was the one who got to love and please his best friend was difficult to comprehend even still. 

Fingers trailed to lace through dark strands, coming to rest at the base of Cassie’s skull, while her own digits trailed downward. Her words prompted laughter. Sam raised arms to allow the article of clothing to be removed before hands moved to prior positions. “How much repetition are we talking about?” Because Sam Radford could spend days pleasing Cassie Nightingale if allowed. 

A hiss followed nails. God, he loved when she was a little rough with him. This wasn’t to say Sam didn’t enjoy their slow sensual moments, because god did he ever, but there was something different about the rough need to release and claim. The trails left upon his chest would be a reminder of just who caused them each time a shirt rubbed a little too close… and he loved it. He loves her. 

Knees quake at the way she says his name. His heart quickens as desire increases tenfold and without abandon. There are far too many articles of clothing. Without words, he grasps the bottom of her blouse and pulls it up and off her body. “It’s only fair.” The material is dropped in favor of touching bare skin. Soft silky flesh glides under fingertips as they trail from toned stomach up over breasts. It’s no secret the man enjoys what the Gods graced Cassie with. Fingers pulse around the globes before they trail around her back, toying with the bra clasp. “Just one more thing to make it real fair.” With little effort the bra is undone. “Mmm almost better.” Sam’s hands rest upon her shoulders, heart hammering, stomach clenching with desire and breathing quickening. He wants her. He always wants her. This is a feeling he hopes will never go away. Fingers loop in the straps of the only object keeping her from being topless, and slowly drag them down arms. His eyes never leave hers as the undergarment drops to the kitchen floor. He knows this is further than he should have pushed in a public area but he can’t stop. 

It felt like an insane notion to be doing this. 

To appear out of nowhere and turn things upside down for Sam. It wasn’t her intention, Whatever deity that existed would know that she just wants an answer and she is not used to having to chase them instead of coming to her naturally. Cassie isn’t used to the unknown, it wasn’t part of her nature, not while being so comfortable in her own ability of seeing far beyond than any human could. But here she is, waiting. Feeling the seconds tick by slower than ever. Waiting for Sam to open the door and hope that he won’t turn her away. Part of her knows well that wasn’t going to, they’ve been through so much, gotten too close to even consider the idea of him at least not wanting to talk to her, but the awareness that maybe he did need the time away from her hasn’t left her from the moment she drove out of Middleton. Space was basic right as a human, to feel like she is invading the sanctity of such a primal need has her inside feeling like hunting knives. 

The right term for that would be fear. Cassie is afraid. 

Fear had been slowly phased out of her life. It wasn’t a productive feeling, although she saw the benefits of a healthy dose of it. Prompts you to act even when the consequences might be dire. Even when the answer might not be the one you are hoping for. So she fears now, fingers flexing against each other, perfectly manicured nails digging into her skin as she waited between heartbeats for the door to open. 

Maybe this was a bad idea.

Maybe he needs more time to filter through his own thoughts and musings about their entire relationship.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe.

So many maybes but her feet won’t move and her heart won’t stop pounding a millions miles an hour as the sound of the loosening chain lock echoes inside her head. She should go… but the opening door roots her to place and her eyes cannot help taking him in when Sam comes to view. Something inside her loosen, Cassie can’t quite pinpoint what exactly, but seeing him puts her a little at ease even if at the start he can’t quite place who was standing in his doorway at four am in the morning. For a brief moment, when she was on the plane thinking over everything that had happened from the moment Sam arrived at Middleton, Cassie had honestly thought that he might have been a figment of her imagination. That his presence was nothing more than the mere desire her heart had to feel at home, to feel whole. And that is how she felt from the moment they locked eyes. Something had finally locked into place. A missing puzzle piece that she didn’t even know was missing until she met him. It was strange to think that one single person could put into perspective everything to have embraced and believed in. Life had a very unique sense of humor.

Her name from his lips was enough to stop breathing completely. He could turn her away, he could prioritize his own well being and get that time he needed to process everything. She wouldn’t blame him. After all, he was deserving of that. Truth was she just needed to know that he was okay. 

“I just…” She began, trailing off, words failing for a brief moment. Being speechless wasn’t part of who she was but Cassie was quickly learning that there are parts of her that she hasn’t truly uncovered till now and it was funny to think that Sam evoked all of these things in her. Trying to recover, trying to answer his question, Cassie opened her mouth to speak once more only to be ushered inside his apartment with no choice but to step inside and finally take a deep breath. It didn’t go amiss to her how his question was laced with so many conflicting feelings. Even now she can sense the hurt and confusion emanating from him and the enchantress tries her darn best to not sink thanks to the weight of it.  

“Thank you but I think I’ve had more than enough on my fill of tea.” There was some bitterness to her words and as she realized how she sounded, Cassie released a deep breath. “Sorry… It just been a long few days and the airline lost my luggage and I can’t check into my hotel still ten am and all of that didn’t even matter to me because I was busy thinking about you.. Us.” 

Rambling… she was rambling. That’s damn new. 

But the words rush out her mouth and with it days worth of grief over Sam’s silence and now… Now she truly feels the tiredness her bones had been screaming about for the past few days. 

“I just…” Again she trails. Again she searches for the right words that don’t seem to want to come when she desperately needs it. “I don’t want you to think that you’re not important to me, because you are. More than I initially thought and it kills me to think that I might have hurt you and not remember it. I’m not trying to come up with excuses but I genuinely don’t know what happened and Gods…” Runnings her fingers through her hair, legs moving her to pace around the space. She hasn’t looked around, can’t seem to longer focus on Sam. Mind has been completely overtaken by all the thoughts that slowly but surely had been escaping the strong dam that had been constructed in her mind. The overflow finally causes Cassie to feel like she is drowning. 

She has to self correct herself, she doesn’t hold hatred in her heart for anything, but right now she hates the fact that she is falling apart and someone is actually witnessing that moment. But if someone had to, she is glad that it is Sam. 

 Thundering heartbeats would shake the building if it were possible. Blood rushed throughout veins with no regard towards the skin burning just above. Flesh tones drained in some places and pinked in others as the gravity of their situation became a reality. Sam Radford left Middleton with warning or explanation to those who cared for the father son duo. The hasty departure hadn’t been fair on anyone but mostly the one person who did everything to make them feel welcome. Without Cassie the Radford’s would have failed to make any kind of positive impression on the town. Martha sure had it out for the doctor in the beginning and only cooled with Cassies gentle words. 

Once both were tucked away inside the home the door was quietly pushed shut and locks slid back in place. Nick was still resting just a few feet away and Sam didn’t exactly want the kid to wake up to the awkwardness that was. A deep steadying breath was taken, a countdown from three before barefoot padded across the floor towards the open living space. A blanket was haphazardly tossed across an arm chair with a cool cup of coffee next to it. A sign Sam hadn’t slept much since the departure from Middleton. 

The tone in which Cassie replied about the tea was not one often heard falling from the woman’s lips. It was confounding, truly. This beautiful woman never spoke in a tone negative towards anything. “Oh - kay.” He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth nervously. The apologies were not necessary. Cassie owed Sam no explanation for anything. As words spilled from lips in a rate unlike any witnessed before brows furrowed. “About us?” There is no us. The last part remained a quiet echo inside the doctors mind as he tried to digest what was happening. 

An offer of clothes and slumber was on the tip of the tongue but didn’t dare slip past. It was obvious there were still thoughts processing for Cassie. Alarm bells began firing as she mentioned not remembering and excuses. How could she not remember inviting a man into her bedroom? Cassie did seem rather cozy against John’s body when Sam pushed through. Whatever insanity took place that evening was not as important as calming Cassie down presently. Sam would not deny being hurt, but he would do his best to comfort. 

“Cassie…” The name was but a whisper once more. With a deflated heart, Sam stepped in the pacing pathway of his neighbor and placed hands upon her forearms. “It’s okay. I understand.” Their friendship was important to her just as it was him. Admitting heartbreak wouldn’t do anyone good right now. “You’re tired.” Fingers trailed from elbows to shoulders then back down again as a tired lopsided smile stretched his lips. “What do you say we find you something to wear and you climb in my bed for a good rest?” This was not how he imagined Cassie in his bed the first time, but this would most likely be the only time. A heavy sigh pushed from lungs as fingers reluctantly fell from her arms. “I have an extra toothbrush in the bathroom drawer and fresh towels if you want to shower when you wake.” Now it was Sam who rambled. 

I love you.

It was such a short sentence with so much riding behind it. It was more than just an emotion, it was a way of life that not everyone would dare live for themselves. Love has always been a feeling that takes root to the very core of her being. It grows and expands, takes over and just bursts like the first rays of sun in the morning. The truth of the matter was that for the longest  of times, Cassie had stopped herself from feeling the full extent of that emotion. Her capacity for love always felt too big and, once upon a time, there was a version of herself that carried the weight of doubts. That maybe that capacity of hers could be detrimental in the end.

How wrong she was. 

All the world traveling, her career as an authenticator, her desire to finally have something meaningful with her name across it, all of this factor into the person she was meant to become but the only thing stopping her was the reality of her heart. So discovering her past seemed like a no brainer. Looking into the person she is and who she was meant to be through her family lineage had made her realize that Cassie had been squandering her potential by stopping herself from fully feeling and all of that came to an explosive conclusion when she met Jake and allowed her heart to fully create attachment. Of course this is not saying that she was an unfeeling person, it was impossible when your empathy grows exponentially every passing day, but in turn just allowed her gift to fully blossom in what was supposed to be. We all grow and learn at our own pace, and sometimes the lessons aren’t always clear but they do connect with your soul and something that an invisible force learns before your mind could make sense of it all. It is what it means to be human, the basis to growth, it is the curriculum to life that we aren’t handed on our first day on this earth. But like everything, we slowly learn the bullet points and practice until we passed that test we didn’t even know we were taking. Seeing beyond what is in front of our eyes isn’t always easy, but we eventually get there, it is always worth it. 

I love you.

Such a short sentence that packs a punch every time she hears it. “I love you too.” She smiles, because just as it packs a punch when she hears it, it always does when they leave her mouth with the ease of breathing. 

And just like those words charged her insides, his touch ignited goosebumps across her skin. Cassie finds  herself breathing shallowly, fingers tightening up on his forearms. As much as she is affecting his entire aura, causing it to flare and wrap her, Sam was causing her entire body to fold like a house of cards. It was becoming increasingly clear that she needed his touch just as much as he needed to worship her. “I do think we need to do some cardio.” She finally opened her eyes, connecting with blue hues. Blue like the Atlantic and she just wants to drown like the Titanic. “Not necessarily running.” She adds almost as an after though, one hand reaching to his middle, finger hooking to the waistband of his pants. “You really need to stop underestimating my energy levels.” Biting her lower lip, she pulls him closer to her, his warmth infiltrating every single pore of her body but she needs more, and there needs to be less fabric as well. “So why don’t you show me how much energy you have before I show you how exactly wrong you are about this dynamic.” 

The atmosphere of Grey House radiated warmth and care most the time, but right now it was electrified with passion and desire. It was rare Cassie and Sam had the place to themselves with the coming and goings of guests, family and friends which is exactly why Sam found it hard to believe anything they begun would need to come to a crashing halt. Veins pulsed with molten lava ignited by the touch of his very own enchantress. Skin slightly flushed as the innuendos continued in a manner befitting of their bedroom. Many dreams had begun this very way standing in this very kitchen. An area where some of the most intimate conversations began and ended. It only seemed right things began to heat in the very place. Of course, Dr. Radford had to remind himself they couldn’t go past the very position they were in due to the public nature of the room. 

A low groan slipped past lips as a finger hooked in the front of his pants. There was an undeniable arousal whenever Cassie initiated any kind of intimacy between them. His heart beat a few extra times, hues darkened and lips curled to a devilish smirk. Never would Sam have imagined his life turning out this good. Fate must have played a part, but this he would never admit. 

Fingers pulsed around the forearm they held before falling to her waist. “You are very competitive, Cassie Nightingale.” A low chuckle rumbled as Sam took a step forward and to the left in order to trap his wife between the counter and his body. “Under estimating you always leads to heightened experiences.” Fingers unwrapped from dark strands to grasp her other hip. With no warning, arm muscles flexed to assist in quickly lifting Cassie from the ground to sit her on the counter behind. “I was speaking about running. I do not doubt your energy levels for other activities.” Hands trailed down the front of Cassie’s thighs until he could get a good grip to push them apart just enough for him to step between. Once he stood flush against the counter, against her, fingers danced along the outside of her legs to grasp hips once more. 

Cuz, we need to talk about John. I don’t think he’s the good guy you want to think he is.

Cassie didn’t want to hear any of it, not tonight. Not while her mind was still going over, or trying to, the events that led her to be in bed late at night staring at the ceiling. Something was wrong, that much was obvious, she can feel in the very marrow of her bones but her lack of information of the previous evening is still hammering at her head. Not a single word from Sam, Linda leaving for New York because ‘Sam finally came to his senses’ and Abigail insisting that John wasn’t what he claimed to be, had Cassie’s head about ready to explode. Still, no remedy or elixir could ever undo the pain and strain that she is currently feeling. There was a sense of loss that took the very essence of her soul away. 

Twisting and turning in her bed throughout the night, Cassie gives up on sleeping around five am and decides to go for a brief walk. Stepping into the cool breeze of dawn, coat tight around her frame, hand holding tight to her cellphone,  Cassie’s legs began to move without a path laid in her head. The storm within her going strong, the confusion still heavy as a fog. It wasn’t like her to not have clarity in her life. For the most part she had reached a point where everything was laid before her like a room full of screens, choices and their consequences playing out in real time, giving her the opportunity to make the right one. Of course, there have been moments in which she had feared making a choice that might alter the course of her life forever, letting Sam in was one of them, but the reward outright outweighed the risks and as their relationship became more stable, the choice of letting him into her heart became more clear. Her feelings for him became clear but now… Now it was as if all the screens were turned off she had to move forward feeling out the darkness left behind.  

Cassie doesn’t have hatred in her, but this, this situation she hates. 

A deep breath and she is standing in front of Sam’s house, in front of the door where they first met and the tug at her heart is enough to leave her breathless. Sitting on the step, she looks at her phone, just an empty screen with Grace’s photo and zero traces of Sam. 

That’s the moment when the dam breaks. 

Cassie’s eyes closed tight as the first tear rolled down her cheek and a sob broke loose from her chest. It burns at her lungs, settles in her stomach like molten lava rapidly destroying her insides. She didn’t think it was possible to miss a person this much. She didn’t think it was possible to hurt so much for a loss that never had a true beginning. But here in the cover of the cloudy night, sitting at the place where the prologue of their story came to a start, Cassie is acutely aware of the shift Sam had brought upon her life. She always knew it, his marks were all over her life, finger tips imprinted on her very soul. 

“Cassie.” Abigail’s voice breaks through all the noise and when she looks up, her cousin is standing before her, steaming cups in hand. Being so consumed by the pain that was finally breaching out of her chest, Cassie didn’t even sense Abigail’s presence. “We need to talk about this. You need to talk about this otherwise you’ll completely lose yourself.” The concern in Abigail’s voice could not be denied. She always was the type of person that carried wit and snark in every sentence, in every dot and exclamation but now all masks were down and heartstrings were laid bare. After a second that felt almost like a lifetime, Cassie nodded, accepting the warm cup. Eyes laser focus on the sloshing warm liquid. Peppermint rose from the cup invading all of her senses and Cassie almost laughed at the irony. 

“Peppermint. Enhances memory and alertness.” It should be comforting, and it is to a degree, but Cassie can see the underlying message Abigail is trying to send and the brunette cannot help the little laugh that leaves her as the cup is being raised to her lips. The warmth was a welcome respite. It courses through her body, wakes her senses up and for the briefest of moments Cassie finds enough composure to stop her crying. For how long? The course of this conversation will tell.

“I thought you might need some help to move it along…” As her cousin sat beside, Cassie’s mind went on to decipher her words and how they made her insides churn. “Not all teas are good, you know.” She goes to add nonchalantly while taking a sip of her own beverage. After a second, she pulls the cup down, “But you know that better than anyone.”

A scoff as Cassie nodded. There was no denying that statement. Years of this life had taught her to separate the good from the bad. It was a nice ability to have when you have an outlook to other people that very few could harness. But sometimes she falls short, not everyone could leave malicious intent behind and even then there was a silver lining, a lesson to be learned. It was her nature to try and see the best in people, it is what makes her the person she is today and to face the fact that someone might have taken advantage of that trait, it causes her to feel emotions she doesn’t know how to process well. Sure, she deals with disappointment from time to time, it is only natural but to feel something so ugly in her chest it only makes Cassie feel dirty, especially when it was someone she thought respected her enough to not act the way he did. 

And she knows John did something bad, sitting here with Abigail said as much and by the words that have been spoken by her counterpart, she finally knows what it was. 

“Ah that’s why I don’t have my memories from yesterday.” Her eyes look forward to the empty driveway that used to house Sam’s vehicle, and it makes her heart constrict even more. 

“Tea and a charm.” Abigail adds as an after thought to what her mind had already deduced. Silence stretched like taffy, stick and taut. Cassie’s mind finally slows down enough for coherent thoughts to form. The explanation was simple, at least simple enough for her but knowing Sam, he won’t exactly understand it. No, that’s not right. Certainly wasn’t an assumption she wanted to make but how to explain to a man with two feet on the ground and a head full of cold hard facts that someone had utilized something, a charm to mask their intentions?  She would be lucky if he believed that John had drugged her. Cause that’s essentially what happened. “You are overthinking this Cass.” turning her head, Cassie raised a brow in her direction. “Look, this wasn’t your fault. You are great Cassie, and a lot of people see that, a lot of people want to have a fraction of the good you harbor in your entire body but not everyone will be like that. People do crazy shit for love…” The way her cousin’s voice became more vulnerable afterwards didn’t go amiss but she knows better than to point that out, not now anyway. “And what John did under the guise of being in love, because let me tell you that’s where it’s going, wasn’t right. He knows that you don’t feel that way about him so he did the one thing he could think of…” Trailing off, and this time for good Abigail stands, and turns to Cassie. “”Your heart brought you here, to Sam’s house… that should be a clear view of what you really want. It’s okay to want something, Cassie. If there is someone in this world that deserves to be happy, it’s you.”

“What if Sam doesn’t feel the same way?” The question as broken as it came from Cassie, was something that had been weighing heavy on her all this time. “He left without giving me any chance to explain myself. What if all this time he had been wanting to walk away from whatever is that we had…” 

“Is that really what you think?” The redhead paused for a moment assessing Cassie. For the first time it felt like her cousin was staring at her very soul. “For someone who knows everything,  you are blind when it comes to your heart and his. I’ve never felt so much pain in a person like that night with Sam.”  Eyes shot up to her cousin. Rarely did she ever express what other people were feeling. Abigail was the type to act and see how everything would play out. For her to openly say something like this… Maybe she should have talked to her before and now wait till now. But time has passed and there was no turning back time, no in the sense that would truly move people and objects through space but she could act on the now. She could act on the knowledge that she now has. There is still fog to contend with but for the time being she can see herself once again. 

“Do what you must with that information. I am going back to sleep.” and just like that, Abigail was gone and Cassie was left behind with a myriad of thoughts and tea, and as she took a sip of it a plan began to hatch.

In the hours between her conversation with Abigail and day time, Cassie had managed to be productive. Made sure everything was in order in Grey House, welcomed the new guests before heading to the shop and managed to get through the day well enough. As close time came around, the bell announced the entrance of someone to the store, she didn’t need to turn to know who it was, and as much as she disliked the idea of confronting him, Cassie turned and took a deep breath. 

“I was wondering if you would  be interested in having dinner tonight with me?” John’s face sported a smile, hand casually rising to show the take out he had brought with him. “I brought Thai, I know you enjoy it.” 

Taking a deep breath Cassie finally took a step forward and then another one and then another one until she was standing by the exit. “I actually can’t. I’ve always been honest with you, and always will be and I can’t do this. I can’t have you in my life if you can’t respect my wishes. I know what you did so save us both the grief of having this conversation and leave.” 

“Cassie…” He begins, lowering his hand. “…I only wanted you to have clarity. I just wanted you to see that I am right here. I’ve always wanted to be here.” 

“Your actions were less than ideal, John. But you are right, it gave me clarity, it made me realize that my heart is just elsewhere and it is hurting because of all of this and in turn it hurts me as well. I can’t live with myself knowing that Sam is hurting… So please, go..” 

John moved as if wanting to say more but Cassie shaking her head prompted him to finally leave the store. As his footsteps echoed heavily for the last time, Cassie finally managed to breathe easier. Something had been lifted off her shoulders and the realization hit her square in the chest. That black fog that had been casting upon her all this time finally seemed to dissipate into nothingness and with it a new vigor had been renewed. Hand in her pocket she took the phone out of and like expected a text from Grace came through. “I texted Sam. He said they are alright. Nick just wanted to visit some friends in New York. He didn’t say when they were coming back.” And of course Grace was worried and there was no blaming her. Grace’s capacity for care was something that Cassie was always proud of. When it came to the Radford man even more so. They’ve all become this conglomerate of people that cared for each other. It wasn’t the easiest path but they’d reached a point in which they could rely on one another. The truth was that having that connection to Sam and Nick had brought a joy that it was impossible to replicate. Fingers taped over the screen a quick message. “I’m glad to hear from them. Thank you for letting me know.”

Cassie reached for her overnight bag and headed out of the store locking it behind her a cab already waiting for her. Getting inside, she confirmed her destination. “Airport.”

By the time she arrived in New York it was already four in the morning. Logic dictated that she should wait a few hours, go to her hotel and sleep, after all, she hasn’t slept since she woke up confused in bed. Peace of mind wasn’t possible, no when there was the possibility that Sam and her wouldn’t be able to fix things but at least she wants to try. He needed to know that she didn’t choose John. So instead of trying to sleep… instead of heading to the hotel that had been booked by Abigail. It was her idea to come to New York now, and booked a ticket while Cassie was trying to survive another day of silence. But what was done was done. As she stood in front of the door to Sam’s condo, many thoughts ran through her head but one thing was for sure, she knew damn well he was awake so without thinking it twice, she rang that door bell. She’ll apologize later if Nick were to wake up because of it. 

Time ticked by with little notice by the surgeon sat in an armchair facing the view from his bedroom windows. When purchasing this particular home a good amount of time was spent wondering if the wall of windows would be well suited for him but he quickly learned they were. With a push of a button the blinds and curtains open revealing a picturesque view of Central Park. Thankfully, the Radfords were high enough no one could attempt to look in and if they did they had one way thick glass to prevent it. The warmth of the mug kept Sam grounded as thoughts attempted to fly in directions he dare not think of. 

How was Cassie? Was she happy with John? Could she live a life without Sam apart of it? 

The last question stung the most. In spite of everything they had been friends first. There had been another in Cassie’s life who attempted to ascend from best friend to lover only to find out they weren’t well suited. This man had too promised nothing could come between their friendship but proved a liar when things came to a halt. Strangely enough, Sam felt a bit of guilt for the ending of what was a long standing friendship. If he hadn’t of wrapped Cassie in a hug that night in her store lips wouldn’t have lingered so close a kiss was plausible. A moment Ryan had witnessed which undoubtedly crushed his heart. A feeling Sam understood more after the scene with John. However, Sam refused to run forever. The friendship built from the moment the Radford’s landed in Middleton would remain as strong as ever... right after he could push past the heartbreak. It wasn’t Cassie’s fault Sam allowed feelings to wrap his heart in a manner never felt before. Cassie was just being Cassie. The kind, compassionate, friendly, helpful human she was. A human many fancied for obvious reasons. 

Coffee was sipped upon with a bit of a frown. Even the man’s solace for lack of sleep was riddled with memories of Cassie. A chuckle reverberated limbs as the thought of dandelion tea popped up. His best friend had taken the time to find a tea similar in taste to his favorite beverage. This was one of the many reasons Sam Radford had fallen for Cassie Nightingale. 

An echoed ring bounced through the simplistic Radford home drawing attention from the Big Apple lights to the bedroom door. It was peculiar to receive a visitor this late in the evening. Feet quickly hit the floor in a panic. What if Nick had done something? What if Nick was hurt? The latter was the more likely of questions since the youngest Radford had begun to clean up his act, and attitude, since Middleton. A quick visit was given to Nick’s room where he found the teenager strung about, sheets half on the floor, mouth wide open, slumbering. The sight prompted another chuckle as the door pulled closed. Then he remembered someone had rung the bell. 

Due to the late hour, Sam only wore a pair of sweatpants and mused hair from the attempts of sleep. It wasn’t exactly how someone should present themselves but whoever stood on the other side shouldn’t expect more at this time. Without looking through the peephole, fingers loosened the chain lock, turned the deadbolt then twisted the handle to pull open. 

“Can I help you?” The tone was very reminiscent of the man who used to reside in this home. It was gravely, deep, and had an edge of annoyance. The hour was four am! It took a moment for Cassie to come into view, but when she did air sucked from lungs and eyes widened. “Cassie?” Out of habit, Sam looked up and down the hall to see if another had accompanied the woman but saw no one. Eyes quickly scanned her form to see if anything was out of place or injured before they landed upon her own. “What are you doing here?” The question was laced with sorrow, confusion and intrigue. It dawned on Sam this wasn’t Middleton and it was early in the morning, or late at night depending on who you ask, so before she could answer the door was fully opened and Sam stepped to the side. “Come inside.” Even in a secure building there were nosy neighbors who would take any bit of information to blow out of proportion. 

The start of her day hadn’t been any different than any other. 

Wake up early, make sure the kitchen was stock up with breakfast and pastries and then off to the store where she spent a better half of her day with anyone who needed some of her special brand of guidance. There was nothing wrong, not that she could acutely pick up, but there was this little humming sound at the back of her head, almost like a warning that didn’t raise to the usual levels that could spur Cassie into action.

 Ignoring it was easy, which should have been the first red flag. 

Things were off kilter but not enough to engage. Things were alright, but not in the way they usually were. It is funny how we take for granted the little things. Not that Cassie had ever taken for granted anything in her life, not since she learned that every action, every moment, every second causes a reaction to the next and the next… So and so until reaching a last destination, whether good or bad, life will hand you lessons in the most unexpected of ways.

“I just think your mind is cluttered.” Words brought her back to the conversation at hand. Cassie is not usually this distracted. But after a bizarre day at the store, her return to Grey House was shrouded in a fog of confusion. She had always thrived in the clearness of her mind. How she can find the right path at the right moment. Her gift, as she had always called it, usually made the circumstances clear for the hostess but for the first time in a while things weren’t clear. But it was only Cassie having the issue, Grace and Abigail, they’ve given her a theory that the eldest wasn’t willing to accept. Because why would John do any of the things they’ve spoken off? He was a friend, a good one. And yes, she is aware of his feelings and for the most part she had stayed clear, BEEN CLEAR, about her own feelings towards him, especially when you take into account how her feelings for Sam had been developing at such a rapid rate. Sam had managed to infiltrate parts of her that had been locked since Jake’s passing. Falling for someone wasn’t part of the equation as she raised Grace, as she reopened the bed and breakfast and worked on Bell, Book and Candle. But here she is, thinking about her strange day, about Sam and how she hadn’t heard from him all day, then again she had lost her phone. He hadn’t even come by the store even though they are neighbors there as well. 

“My mind is alright, John.” Her voice was gentle, as she leaned back on the couch. John sat on the other side looking  at her like she was saying something funny. 

“Are you sure?” He begins, leaning forward towards the coffee table, picking up a cup of tea that he had prepared. “I think we both need clarity.” He passes the cup her way and for a moment she is unsure, which isn’t unlike her. “This will help you and whatever happens, whatever you decide I will accept my fate but I just think you should give it a chance, give me a chance…” He trails off and for a moment she considers saying no because she is sure of what she wants, /who/ she wants and it wasn’t the man keeping her company at the moment but humoring him shouldn’t be a problem, right? 

“Alright…” Hand gingerly accepts the mug, it smelled of cinnamon and anise and for a moment she is comforted by the familiarity of it. “...but John. My feelings towards our friendship aren’t about to change just by one drink. If I didn’t feel the way you felt before Jake, my heart isn’t going to change after him either…” it has, of that she is absolutely sure, but it was because of the man that look at her like she is some secret he wishes to uncover, because the way that Sam looked at her, as scary as it was, made her feel like moving on wasn’t impossible for the first time in a really long time. 

It took one sip.

Just

One

Sip.

Morning came, the sun shone too bright in her eyes. Phone alarm blared in the echoing bedroom and Cassie’s confusion flared. She had lost her phone so why was it on her nightstand? And why was she harboring such a bad hangover? There was no drinking last night. Only tea and a conversation and then nothing. How did she even get into bed? Questions and more questions rose but as they came into mind one by one, Cassie decided to go about her day. Get Grey house ready for the new guests, a little trip to the mayor’s office to leave some tea. Returning to the shop only to realize that Sam’s practice was closed which she finds odd. Actually not talking to him at all had been odd. She attempted to call but it went to voicemail. Texting? No response. For a moment she even debated going by his house but something stopped her, something told her that the wrongness that she is feeling at the moment might have been all her doing and the thought of hurting Sam in some way absolutely guts her heart. 

As night rolled in once more, and there have been zero news from Sam, Cassie anxiety slowly rose. She picked up her phone, called him but once more, voicemail so this time she leave a message.

“Hey, it is me. I haven’t heard from you today and I’m worried. Don’t know if I did something wrong or maybe I’m just imagining things because…well you know, I usually am pretty good with sensing things but for the first time in a while I’m feeling a bit lost. Just…” She takes a deep breath. “…let me know that you’re alright, please? Sam I –…” But she cuts herself short for a moment, thinking that maybe this wasn’t the best way to tell him how she felt, so she changes up the words a little more, “...I missed you today. I didn’t realize how much my days are filled by you until you weren’t there. I hope that you are doing alright. Goodnight.” 

When she hung up, Cassie took a deep breath and walked out of the sun room where she had been standing and headed towards the common area just in time to see Linda and with her suitcase. “Oh, leaving already.” Linda stopped dead on her tracks, turning to Cassie with a smile that made the enchantress’s stomach turn. 

It wasn’t a good thing.

“Sam finally came to his senses…” She spoke, and something heavy fell upon Cassie’s chest, but maybe it was her imagination. “…everyone came to their senses.” Linda began walking away but turned to Cassie with something like triumph shining in her eyes. “In the end, we all found ourselves and who we are meant to be. Sam may give the family a shot and you found someone strong enough to carry you up the stairs. Not an easy feat for the both of us.” And with those parting words, Linda walked out and Cassie’s confusion only grew bigger. A sense, a feeling filled her and she turned to see Abigail standing that the doorway connecting the sun room and living room. 

“What the hell happened last night?” The brunette asked, putting her phone in her back pocket. “I remember nothing and I am just not getting anything from our m– gift.” 

The look of pity in Abigail’s eyes burned the churning feeling in the pit of her stomach, a new set of circumstances rising like bill up her throat. 

“Cuz, we need to talk about John. I don’t think he’s the good guy you want to think he is.” 

The sun peaked through the blinds in the master bedroom of the Radford condo. Normally, Sam Radford would be up before the sun ready to take on the day… ready to make his way to Grey House for a quick good morning really. Today was not like every other day. Today the Radford’s woke in New York City with no firm direction on where life wished for them to go. For Nick, the answer was out the door to hang with friends missed and a promise not to do anything illegal. The last part of the goodbye left Sam chuckling for Nick had transformed into a trustworthy teenager. It really was ironic they were back at the start but with different takes on life. Once the sound of the door echoed through the silent home Sam decided it was time to rise from the bed he laid awake in for most the night. Thankfully, missing sleep had become a habit with his work at the hospital. 

Feet brushed the cool wood floor before pressure was applied to stand. After a stretch and yawn his normal routine was gone through. Shower, brush teeth, shave, wash face and dress. There was no where to be today so the doctor opted for a pair of jogging pants and a long sleeve t-shirt. It had been a while since feet hit the pavement in the park so maybe it was time for a visit. 

It was when fingers brushed across the coffee pot realization hit him. Cassie was with John. The flash of the two embraced in bed wrenched his heart in a way it never had with Linda, or anyone. “Get it together, Sam.” And now he was talking to himself. After a cup of coffee, he finally had the nerve to look at his cell phone. Missed calls, text messages, a voicemail he didn’t want to hear all from Cassie. It was time to place distance between them both metaphorically and physically to get some perspective. Cassie chose John. This was reality. 

The squeeze of his heart intensified to the point he winced. Dejected, he put on his running shoes and headphones then took off. What felt like minutes was hours. Hours of running around the Big Apple. The physical strain of muscles was a welcomed distraction from the aching chest. It was afternoon by the time he arrived back home. Nick had come and gone judging by the note on the counter letting Sam know his plans for the evening. A small smile etched lips. The last time the Radford’s resided under this roof it was impossible to get any information out of Nick and now he offered it freely without reservation. Fatherly pride swelled before he chuckled in spite of himself. Eyes gazed the sterile room wondering how they ever considered this home. The differences between New York City and Middleton were painfully obvious. This home was cold and empty whereas the other radiated warmth and was filled with wonderful memories with his son. Sam knew no matter what happened with Cassie they would return to Middleton eventually and move on with their lives. If Cassie could move on then so could he. 

A text message from Grace popped up on his screen just as shoes were removed. “Are you okay? Nick says you’re in New York again? Are you coming back?” The string of questions was both heartwarming and depressing. A girl he had come to care for like a daughter of his own… but she wasn’t his daughter. It wasn’t Grace’s fault Sam had fallen so deep with her mother. An internal battle took place as fingers hovered over the phone keyboard. Middleton won this battle. “Nick is fine. We will be back to Middleton eventually. Nick wanted to see his friends.” There was no promise of when they would return to Middleton and Nick wanting to see his friends was true. No lies. No guilt. “Okay.” Flashed across his screen before the phone was tossed in the center of the still unmade bed, another uncharacteristic trait, in favor of taking a long hot shower.