a soft sigh of resignation came from natsuki’s room as she played memories of yuri in her head for what felt like the thousandth time. she reached over for her phone and looked at her contact at the top, looking through the messages of the secret lovers. she couldn’t bear thinking about it any longer, but she couldn’t rest and get her mind off of it either. as the sun reared its head over the horizon, gently streaming through her blinds, she got up to put on her uniform hastily. not caring if she looked presentable or not, she took her bike and rode over toward the school while trying to focus on music to drown out her thoughts. as soon as she was chaining down her bike, she felt a touch on her shoulder from behind.
she looked up at the taller girl, taking a step back when she meets her soft gaze. for just a second, natsuki’s heart leapt out of her chest before she quickly grounded herself and took out her earphones.
“jeez.. you could just text me with that phone of yours you know.. you’re gonna give me a heart attack if you keep sneaking up on me.”
yuri looked off in the distance, bashfully playing with her hair with a soft smile.
“ah.. i’m sorry.. i’ve been waiting to see you all morning.. i got carried away and acted without thinking..”
natsuki scoffs and smiles subtly.
“well, we can have a lot more time in the clubroom for hanging out so just.. chill. i’m not going to be going anywhere or anything..”
yuri nodded eagerly and her smile grew as she took natsuki’s hand.
“would you like to read with me? i’ve been reading a wonderful new book, and it’s just..”
yuri closes her eyes and sighs dreamily for a second before looking down at natsuki half lidded and expectedly.
“as long as it’s not one of those books you’re always lugging around with paper between the pages filled with notes and heavy enough to kill someone.. then i guess i’ll give it a shot.”
yuri’s eyes gleam with happiness and she strokes a bit of her hair behind her ear, enthralled by the idea of sharing something so special to her.
“thank you so much.. i’ll be waiting to share our time together..”
natsuki feels her face heat up slightly and pulls away, not wanting to show how much her eager disposition is affecting her. finishing chaining up her bike, she looks up at her with fake annoyance.
“i better not see you in the hallways, study hall, office, or bathroom. go to class, got it?”
yuri sighs and plays with her hair, the reminder of going to class seemingly ruining her confidence.
natsuki doesn’t know what to do in this situation. she had never experienced social anxiety, not counting when yuri helped calm her down when she stopped being friends with the girls who made fun of her. they both fiddle around awkwardly, knowing that it’s unlikely yuri will be able to sit through class.
“take my headphones. just.. listen to something and don’t think about it when you walk up to the door okay?”
she still isn’t thrilled by the idea of going to class but begrudgingly takes the headphones, keeping them close to her chest. the bell rings before she can respond and a small expression of disappointment fills her face. she doesn’t say anything when natsuki starts to walk off to her class, feeling immediately overwhelmed by anxiety and quickly putting the earphones in to listen to music. she settles on a slower playlist so she can breathe and relax a little, practically lugging her limbs around toward the hallways. the sound of people talking, the feeling of everyone brushing up against her, the fear of being judged all hit her at once and she keeps increasing the volume until everything is drowned out. she anxiously waits around near the door, stroking her hair in place and knowing her breathing exercises aren’t doing anything for this feeling. watching everyone effortlessly walk in the classroom, talking to their friends and most importantly, not feeling anxious made her even more disheartened. as the bell rung, she gave up on trying to build up her courage and quickly retreated to her usual hallway where she stayed by herself to read. once she sat down, she began to read, getting her mind off of everything and feeling regret for not being able to live up to natsuki’s expectations. yuri ponders if a girl like natsuki could understand what it felt like for her, now even more anxious that showing up at all was a mistake. the minutes fly by and before she knows it, it’s second period. by now she’s anxious to even think at all and she closes her eyes briefly. the sting of incoming tears in her eyes slowly creep in as she thinks about letting everyone down, afraid that the girl that she cares so much about will think of her badly, or even worse, think she’s too much effort to put up with and break up with her. when she wipes her eyes, she feels a touch on her shoulder. yuri squeals in surprise and nearly knocks over the book in her lap. she looks up and sees natsuki, looking at her with a small face of anxiety, waiting to be scolded. her heart leaps before shakily taking out one of the earphones, realizing she hadn’t heard natsuki because she was too overstimulated by everything to turn down the volume. she looks up at her guiltily through her lashes, feeling like the small one in this situation.
yuri nods timidly, refusing to make eye contact as natsuki sits down with her.
“i already told the guys in the front office that i needed time out of a class for second. i just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
yuri plays with the earphones, twirling them between her fingers and looks at her bashfully and misty eyed.
“you would do that? to be with me?”
natsuki snorts and presses her shoulder against yuri’s.
yuri smiles contentedly and closes her eyes while resting her head against natsuki’s. in this moment, her anxieties are slowly melting. although they still linger with her, she feels a bit more confident.
“natsuki.. how do you deal with social situations where you don’t know anyone else? is it difficult to be present?”
natsuki thinks for a moment and plays with the hair that comes down onto yuri’s lap.
“i guess yeah.. but isn’t that like everyone? i don’t think most people will just make friends by doing nothing. people usually form relationships with something in common with that person or with a simple gesture. besides.. i’d rather have a few friends that i can keep dearly than a bunch of random people just blindly acting.”
yuri nods, admiring her perspective and gently puts a hand on natsuki’s as she plays with her hair.
“i see.. i agree with you. sometimes i just wish it wasn’t so intimidating to be around so many people.. especially at school..”
natsuki smiles and looks up at her curiously, trying to get her out of her shell.
“you ever wish it was as simple as just being online?”
yuri sighs, blushing and looking off down the hall before playing with her own section of hair next to the one natsuki is playing with. a wave of worry that natsuki is insinuating that she isn’t as interesting in person hits her, and she looks down at the floor.
“you’re teasing me aren’t you..”
natsuki laughs and puts her hand over the strand yuri is playing with just like how yuri did, not knowing that something like their shared preference of online interactions over in person interactions would fluster her like this.
“i’m not teasing you.. im being serious..”
yuri looks down at natsuki’s hand covering hers and smiles softly, partially from her touch and partially from the sound of natsuki’s laughter.
“i do wish it was that easy sometimes.. but at least i have you to help me. and right now, this is better than sitting behind a screen..”
the two of them blush from yuri’s unexpected forwardness, left with yuri silently inching closer until her face is past natsuki’s shoulder, meeting her gaze and her breathing stopping for a second. natsuki looks around flustered and embarrassed, pulling back with a laugh.
“save it. we should get up and get to class.”
yuri is left sitting on the floor as natsuki stands up, looking up at her completely flushed and slightly shaky from her failed attempt to kiss her. natsuki holds out her hand for her to stand up and yuri follows suit.
“ah.. you’re right.. i didn’t mean to be inconsiderate.. pl-“
natsuki looks around quickly, not seeing anyone nearby and gets on the tips of her toes to kiss the corner of her lips quickly. yuri is left stunned and feeling her heart almost beat out of her chest, completely off guard by natsuki’s affection.
“jeez.. come on and walk with me..”
yuri is left silent and enamored while watching natsuki grab hold of her wrist and guide her to her class. she admires the way her pigtails sway, the way her hand grabs onto her with surprising force, the smug face she has when she looks back, the way her legs move in a stern marching fashion. her heart can barely take it and she clumsily reaches for the earphones, unusual for the careful and methodical nature she’s so usually putting up. she puts one in as they approach the door, gently steering natsuki to stand a far bit by the side.
“if it’s okay with you, i’d like to walk in by myself..”
natsuki smirks and pushes her playfully.
“you think i wanna go in there looking like i’m attached to your hip all the time? then they’ll think we’re a couple or something..”
“just go. meet me back at the club.”
the two laugh and look at each other softly before parting ways. yuri braces herself and finds her way to her desk, feeling a lot more grounded, but not at all focused. she daydreams about natsuki the entire time, each subject going in and out and she’s hardly able to work without getting distracted by her thoughts. before she even realizes it, it’s the end of the day and she eagerly walks toward the clubroom, being the only time when she doesn’t mind sifting through the crowded hallways. she speedwalks down the final stretch and pushes the door open, immediately looking around and finding natsuki alone sitting on the floor, reading by herself. yuri attempts to calm down, noticing her heart is pounding and her breathing hitching while silently praying her knees don’t just give out right here and now. she sinks down next to natsuki and gives a soft sigh of relief. natsuki notices and laughs.
“what the heck? you’re incredibly pale. do you need water or something?”
yuri looks at her through her lashes, a little dizzy with nerves and shakes her head gently. her gaze narrows onto natsuki’s eyes, widening and briefly glossing over her lips before slowly scooting toward her, inch by inch. natsuki catches on and blushes, looking away with slight apprehension.
“spit it out.. don’t just stare at me..”
yuri reels back and sputters, humiliated by her forwardness for the second time today.
“..sorry! i’ve been in my head all day.. i didn’t mean to make it seem like i’m ignoring you..”
natsuki waves it off with a playful hand gesture and smiles tenderly, pulling her in a gentle hug while caressing her back soothingly.
“i don’t know what’s up with you today but i’m here.. just talk to me.”
yuri looks off with a silent worry behind her eyes.
“up with me..? am i being weird..?”
natsuki laughs, stroking her hair and sighing. “well i won’t lie and say you aren’t being weird.. but i like it. i like you being the way you are. so don’t worry about something dumb like that.”
yuri timidly plays with her hair, looking back at natsuki from the corner of her eye and gives her a tiny smile of relief and warmth.
“you really mean that..?”
natsuki scoffs playfully, pulling back to look at her with an annoyed face.
“you’d think i’d say something else if i didn’t mean it. c’mere..”
yuri pulls her closer, resting her head on top of natsuki’s and closing her eyes, feeling her heart finally start to rest. the two stay like that for a minute or so until natsuki looks up at her curiously.
“is that really all that you wanted to talk about?”
yuri looks off pensively, embarrassed to admit how affected she had been from their earlier exchange.
yuri can’t bring herself to look down at natsuki’s puzzled face, wishing she hadn’t prodded but still flattered that she did.
“forget it. it’s probably something personal if you don’t want to answer..”
yuri shakes her head quickly, worried that she’s coming off as cryptic and weird.
“no! it’s not personal.. just stay here with me. i like it.”
natsuki catches on and smiles in relief that she isn’t hiding something. she feels content in this moment and a little more confident to be a bit more forward.
“you can hug me tight you know..”
yuri just looks her up and down, particularly focused on her neck. natsuki feels her face heating up from her blatant staring and her breath hitch when she notices yuri’s soft fingers angling up to reach for her neck. natsuki doesn’t pull away, but she’s clearly flustered from the hyperfocus yuri holds for her in this moment.
“hey.. quit being a perv and..”
natsuki doesn’t finish her sentence before yuri’s hands are on her neck. they carefully straighten out her shirt collar before redoing her ribbon.
“straighten up your back.”
natsuki is surprised to see yuri being stern. it isn’t often she addresses people with authority, but it’s always with good faith and care, something that natsuki grew to really admire about her. she straightens out her back and lets yuri unbutton her uniform and smooth down her sweater vest, starting from the top of her waist to the bottom. natsuki can tell she’s laser focused on making her look more presentable and doesn’t oppose the intimacy of letting her take care of her. once yuri finishes buttoning up her uniform, the two gaze in the other’s eyes. yuri is completely oblivious to the slightly awkward position they’re in as natsuki looks up at her smolderingly. yuri whispers softly and tenderly.
“you were in a hurry this morning weren’t you..?”
yuri finally catches onto the tension between them. instead of being embarrassed, she’s emboldened with the proximity between them and leans in slowly. she gently guides her hands up to her chin and tilts it up slightly and tenderly, letting her other hand’s fingers glide across her cheek and in her hair. natsuki’s hand gently clutches on the one holding her chin and feels her breath hitch, her stomach flipping from yuri’s electric touch. she whispers softly, feeling each exhale from yuri on her face as her eyes start to naturally want to close.
“you really shouldn’t do something like this unless you really love me y’know..”
rain gently patters on the window of the clubroom, painting a quiet, intimate scene of apprehension before their lips finally meet. yuri holds her face reverently while natsuki melts into her embrace. natsuki grips the back of yuri’s uniform and hums softly in encouraging bliss, savoring every moment of the passionate meeting. the two lose all sense of time and focus on just this moment. stroking hair, caressing faces, occasionally opening their eyes to exchange half lidded glances before shivering and continuing the dance of their lips. natsuki shivers and quietly yelps when she feels yuri biting on her bottom lip possessively, pulling back and panting softly, looking up at her flustered and smolderingly.
yuri pants, her face completely flushed and her hair disheveled before she swallows and slowly leans in again. her lips quiver as they brush against natsuki’s again, sucking in the air through her teeth in avidity for more. yuri focuses a little too much on gently meeting her lips, the feeling of focusing so hard on how to move her lips and bracing her eyes so tight making her head hurt. natsuki pulls back and groans softly.
“and quit being so stiff, damn it! just..”
natsuki holds onto her face now, eagerly leaning forward and slowly pouring her love into each push and pull of their meeting lips. yuri immediately melts in the kiss, now naturally following the flow of their slow and bordering sensual kiss. yuri nearly slips and falls on her back before the two hear the distinct sound of footsteps getting louder. they hastily get off of each other, still panting and get up to pull out yuri’s book. the two lay against the wall shoulder to shoulder, quickly fixing their hair as monika and sayori walk in the room.
“i’m so sorry you two! i know the bell rang 15 minutes ago, sayori and i just got distracted in the music room!”
“monika is getting even better at piano y’know! we should all go to the music room soon and sit around and watch her play! but until then.. we’ll be in the front of the room doing super serious stuff. it’s for the festival!”
yuri and natsuki both look at sayori confused until yuri pipes up.
“sayori.. the festival is next month.”
“..no other club has started anything yet.”
“blame monika.. she’s being so mean and making the two of us plan it all a month in advance..”
monika laughs sheepishly and waves it off with a dismissive hand gesture.
“just.. keep doing what you two are doing alright? the two of us will be doing ‘super serious stuff’ anyway.”
the club room’s atmosphere is different now that everyone is here. suddenly, the lights don’t feel as dim and intimate anymore and natsuki slumps back and sighs. after a few moments of staring at the ceiling and replaying the last 15 minutes in her head over and over, she looks over and sees yuri already with her reading glasses on and completely focused on the book. she sits up and follows along, passively skimming through the pages, not exactly knowing what’s going on. she finds herself guilty for not feeling interested from not knowing what’s going on and sighs softly. yuri catches her quizzical look out of the corner of her eye and smiles.
yuri laughs softly and regards her with a gentle, warm tone.
“would you like to come over to my house tonight? we can read together and spend all night doing whatever we want..”
natsuki’s heart and jaw drops at her forwardness.
“what? hold on! my dad will kill me if.. i’m..”
natsuki realizes that yuri is a girl. obviously. but she knows she can use this to her advantage.
“..okay. but you have to do your part. just.. stand outside and act like my best friend or.. whatever.”
yuri giggles and closes her book before she adjusts her glasses.
“until then, i want to try one of the books you’re reading.”
natsuki’s eyes light up and she bounds toward the box of her manga before coming back and immediately sitting down and presenting the front cover like an artifact.
“you’ve seen me read parfait girls before.. i think you’re gonna love it.”
yuri opens the book and is immediately overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things on the pages. she struggles to hold an interest to it when she quickly skims over the words, not looking much at the pictures and completely not noticing the sound effects. natsuki notices her pensive gaze and sighs before flipping back to the first page.
“okay.. you have to read it and refer to the pictures. sometimes you’ll have to look closer and use context clues for stuff but it’s alright. we’ll try each other’s books out when we get settled at your place.”
yuri looks away, slightly embarrassed by not reading the medium that she considered too simple to be worth her time to the fullest and stands up, holding her book close to her chest while looking down at natsuki with silent admiration. natsuki is left sitting on the floor as she looks up at her, a bit sad to have to leave this spot but eager to continue at her house. yuri holds out her hand for her to stand up and natsuki follows suit. the two pack their books and share a soft, adoring look, the rain still gently falling upon the school. they say goodbye to the two working on plans for the festival and make their way down the hall, sharing earbuds and ready to spend all night together.
