Wtf

So um I don’t know what this really is um before I talk about this you should know this

So I have a friend right well first of all he’s doesn’t really talk about his emotions much and doesn’t really talk about that kind of stuff he doesn’t like hugs that much and I think he probably had a somewhat ruff family past I don’t really know I haven’t felt it my place to ask I was friends with his sister before I met him and she went into advance classes

I met him almost a year ago maybe even two years ago I’m not really sure I thought he was a cute girl so I talked to him ana concert that we where playing at and I found out he was a guy he’s almost a year or two younger than me wich is really really awkward for me because I don’t really ever like younger people but he was funny so I kept talking to him the whole time we ended up talking on Snapchat over the summer when he could but we stoped around the middle of it and went to band camp together he was the only reason I stayed in band really we even ended up staying after school together for two hours goofing off and then we ended up in the same math class the next year at school before this we would walk to the buses together and we used to walk around when we had the same lunch due to testing that year anyways this year we used to goof off during math the whole time and stay together during lunch (every once and awhile our friends would tease us about how we should go out )which we had together now then sometimes walk back to class together

The thing is I had a huge ass crush on him but the thing was he was gay and I’m ftm pre t so I never asked him out or anything I thought it was a stupid thing to do because we were too young even though we were and are both still teenagers and the fact that I was self conscious about being ftm at the time I never really acted on it except for the occasional hug wich he didn’t really like because he was sort of weird about any affection at all anyways he ended up moving and I didn’t have any contact with him since his phone broke it was like one second he was there normal day normal goodbye and then poof gone

So tonight I was on a call on discord and me and my two friends wich includes his sister who I made friends with again after he left since we had the same lunch and we were talking and I noticed that there was someone new on the call and I wondered who it was it was him his voice changed and all it was so weird but welcome we talked for three hours straight all of us then we started talking about school and stupid stories and how this one kid got expelled the then him and his sister went to bed

So I was left alone and I started to realize how much I missed him and his stupidness and how much I really really did like him and I don’t know what to do it’s late and I don’t know if I should tell him anything at all because of how weird he was about his emotions and stuff like that like what if he blows me off and starts joking around

Like should I text him and see if he misses me and try and bring it up or not

Should I tell him I had a crush on him back then

I don’t know what to do

And it’s driving me insane

So like pls help