wild and reckless

jagger was mesmerized by the vision of absolute beauty now in his lap. she had always been his best friend but this surpassed anything he’d ever imagined. her arms around his shoulders, the way she so easily settled on his lap, it was all so natural. so normal for them. yet everything had changed. “i was always scared to date anyone that looked anything like you. i always knew i’d slip up.” he was barely able to whisper the confession, so lost in her beauty, the way that single moment felt. her words made him smile, hands falling to her waist as hers cupped his face. he knew what was coming and yet he found himself holding his breath as her lips met his. one arm slipped around her waist, his other hand raising, fingers tangling loosely in her hair. he didn’t know kisses could feel like this. it was gentle yet he could feel all of the emotion behind it. it had been building for years and now here she was, in his arms, lips against his. after a moment, he broke the kiss, smile forming as he kept her close. “so perfect,” he whispered softly. 

jagger couldn’t believe just how much had spilled from his lips. it was as if everything he’d thought or ever wanted to confess had just been spoken and he was mentally kicking himself when she spoke. then there was that smile... it wasn’t quite the one that had always seemed to make his heart jump but it was still a smile. and when she laughed his head tilted slightly, confusion in his eyes. “we both know i’ve always been an idiot,” he murmured with a small smile. his hand found hers and he lifted it, pressing a soft kiss against the back of it, eyes lifting to meet hers. “i’m sure none of them were as good at cuddling and keeping your feet warm. that’s why it never worked out, right?” sitting up, he pulled her with him before lifting her into his lap. “so fucking gorgeous,” he murmured, eyes roaming over her face and hands lifted to frame it. one thumb brushed over her lips, eyes following the action for a moment before meeting hers. “confession... i’ve wanted to kiss you for so long but never wanted to risk getting punched.”

that moment when you’re starting to actually work on a muse page and then completely change a few things. cut a few more muses for now and made Jagger and Delaney siblings that didn’t grow up together. i mean, how could i not let them be?

in those moments, with the way she looked at him, he wasn’t the cool jagger he liked people to think he was. he made her feel like a completely different person. with her, he wanted to be a good person, someone that could deserve her. the silence that settled over them was awful and he was so sure that he’d just lost everything. not only had he lost any chance with her, not that he believed he’d ever had one, but he was sure he’d  just lost his best friend in the process. when she finally spoke her voice, her whole demeanor, was different and it caused his heart to ache. “harley...” his voice caught in his throat and he closed his eyes. he felt sick, terrified that this was their last night together. “please don’t hate me...” there was a pleading tone in his voice as he finally opened his eyes, glancing down at her. “i don’t know what i’d do if you did. i just had to be honest with you. i’ve always compared all of them to you and none of them were you. none of them were as good as you. none of them made me smile like you do. or feel the way you do.” he reached up to brush his fingers through her hair, sighing softly. “you mean so much to me...”

do you have a muse page?

jagger couldn’t help but smile as she mentioned her mother adoring him. he loved her family, always got along with them. there were times he got along better with them than his own family, and always loved being around them. he had to put thoughts of her family aside while they were so close, right there in her bed. especially now that they were talking about them. her words caused him to close his eyes, to try to gather his thoughts. he couldn’t say the wrong thing, not  now. had he wondered if she ever thought of him as more than a friend? yes. had he ever thought he was good enough for her? no. the way she asked, though, that look in her eyes, it all got to him. he wasn’t used to any sort of hesitance from her. she was always so confident, so sure when they were together. he knew that he was afraid of messing things up with her but to see her so unsure rattled him for a moment. “honestly? no. i never thought i was good enough for you. you’re so perfect and then there’s me. i’ve wished i could be good enough for you... you deserve the world, harley. fuck, i’d give you the world if i could. if you’d let me. when we’re together, it feels so right. like here tonight with you so close, god, i was thinking just how beautiful and amazing you are. how much i wished you were mine.” he knew he was rambling but he’d been holding so much in for so long. it was time she knew the truth. the whole truth. “besides, i was the first boy ever in your bed...i wanna be the only one.”

“well, i’m glad she knows me so well then. i don’t know what i’d do if i wasn’t able to go over there with you. or if she hated me.” he nodded slightly, humming quietly against her skin without really thinking about it. jagger had to fight to control himself when he was that close, the urge to just press gentle kisses to her skin was strong. “you know i have all your food orders memorized. i guess i was just thinking about you when i picked up dinner.” he wasn’t ashamed to admit that much. they spent quite a bit of time together so why would that be weird? at her mention of sex with someone else, he gagged dramatically, shaking his head. it was playful but he definitely didn't like the thought of someone else having her. confusion washed over his features when she moved but he didn't complain, instead simply watching her, small smile threatening to form. "yeah, babe?" it had slipped out and he hoped she wouldn't be upset as he watched her. after a moment, he smiled, reaching to tuck hair behind her ear. "harley..you're beautiful. none of those guys deserve you. you're smart and funny. sassy and amazing to be around. you're absolutely gorgeous. every time i see you with one of them, i want to punch them. none of them have been good enough for you." once he'd said it, now that it was all out there, he had the urge to run but she was there looking absolutely beautiful and he couldn't leave that. if she hated him for it that was something he would somehow have to live with.

“she’d definitely never let me in the house if she’d met me after the ink,” he added with a laugh. their families were different in that way especially. his mother was more than okay with all of his ink and the fact that he was pretty rough around the edges. he tried his best to clean all that up when he was around the adams family. maybe part of it was subconsciously trying to make sure her family liked him in case something ever did happen between them. as her eyes closed he was granted a moment to study her, to take in her beauty. if he hadn’t been so afraid of messing things up, hadn’t cared so much about her, he would have kissed her right then and there. he intentionally dated girls that looked nothing like harley, hoping to mask things in some way. if he’d dated someone that looked like her, well, he would have called them the wrong thing a lot more often. “if it’d been during sex, she would’a killed me... she was pretty pissed when i brought the food home and it was your order, not hers...”  her words made him duck his head, trying to hide his small grin. lips brushed against a small bit of exposed skin on her neck when he chuckled at her words, silently celebrating, though he wasn’t sure why. glancing up, he tilted his head slightly. “oh? what happened? i thought things were going....well?” though he’d never actually been introduced, he knew the other male. he didn’t like him one bit. it wasn’t that he wasn’t a decent guy, but he wasn’t him. he didn’t deserve her. settling with her again, one hand found one of hers, thumb brushing her knuckles gently, eyes focused on their hands together, mind racing, wondering if this was how it would be if he admitted things to her. 

he didn’t like to admit it but the moment her lips touched his skin, jagger found himself holding his breath. he wasn’t even sure why. sure, it was something more intimate than something they would normally do, but he assumed it was just because they were so close in that moment. “she would definitely hate me,” he agreed with a small chuckle. “she met me before i learned how to be an asshole. and i love her for not hating me now.” when she mentioned him being a gentleman, he was glad they were in the position they were, allowing him to hide his expression. while it was true that he’d never made any sort of move on her or tried to push things with her. had he thought about it? yes. having her there, so close, so comfortable, and not able to do anything about it, or even say anything, was killing him on the inside. when she looked up at him, he nodded, letting his hand rest against her jaw, thumb brushing her cheek. “yeah.. we were arguing a lot. she accused me of a few things and i brought home the wrong toppings on the pizza once. i brought home dinner one night and had gotten the wrong order. i slipped up and called her the wrong name when asking her if she wanted to watch a movie.” it had gotten to the point that he and his ex argued more than not and most of the times he’d had to walk away before really losing his temper when the other had mentioned harley. it always went back to his best friend, and he couldn’t help that he’d known her for so long, knew practically everything about her.