You Saved Me!

‘’Of course, Andrew,’’ Steve reassures, giving him a curious look. “Why would I lie about that?’‘ 

Steve hasn’t been questioned often. Other people took his word as concrete because they were, without hesitancy, honest. But Andrew seems to overthink his compliments, doubt his praise. Something close to empathy rises in the back of Steve’s mind, suggesting that maybe Andrew questions him so often because he either hadn’t heard it before or was told otherwise in school hallways, maybe even in his own home. 

It felt invasive to assume these things, but it was in his nature to figure things out before they were said. It was a way to stay on top - to remain steady, to brace himself before the real conflict downpours onto him. He wanted to be a good friend. A sturdy person to be leaned upon. But Andrew, without meaning to, made it so hard to remain silent while waiting for the truth. 

Steve wants to make Andrew feel confident in their friendship. In life. But it was easier said than done. He smiles gently, watching the other boy with interest, trying to make himself look as honest as possible. He needs to convey how much that day matters to him, how much Andrew matters to him. 

[ andrew twists around in his chair to better face steve, but finds it difficult to maintain eye contact with him once he does. looking down at his hand in his lap, he takes a measured breath and tries to explain his reasoning in an uncertain, stumbling voice. ]

Well, I dunno, you’re just – you’re just really popular, you know, and you have so many friends, so I just… I just thought you probably have a lot of other great days to choose from.

‘’And, like... Having lots of friends doesn’t mean they’re good. Or even entertaining. Most of them are carbon copies of each other. But you’re not like that, I guess, you’re more complex, interesting. You shouldn’t doubt yourself so much, ‘Drew. I like you. You should like you, too,’’ Steve insists, shifting in his spot, unable to look away from Andrew’s downward turned head.  

Steve maintains eye-contact with the other boy, his eyes hopefully depicting his sincerity in earnest. This moment felt incredibly important, and he almost feared that he wasn’t coming off as honest. He didn’t often feel unsure, but Andrew seemed to bring out the insecurity in him. He had an unnatural urge to be overly compassionate towards him, but it was something he had learned to contain - sure that it would seem slightly pathetic. 

[ andrew begins listening to steve’s answer with his eyes on the screen, but when he says andrew himself makes him happy by association, he turns his head to look up at him, cheeks dusted with pink warmth. ]

You really mean that?

Steve hasn't been questioned often. Other people took his word as concrete because they were, without hesitancy, honest. But Andrew seems to overthink his compliments, doubt his praise. Something close to empathy rises in the back of Steve's mind, suggesting that maybe Andrew questions him so often because he either hadn't heard it before or was told otherwise in school hallways, maybe even in his own home. 

It felt invasive to assume these things, but it was in his nature to figure things out before they were said. It was a way to stay on top - to remain steady, to brace himself before the real conflict downpours onto him. He wanted to be a good friend. A sturdy person to be leaned upon. But Andrew, without meaning to, made it so hard to remain silent while waiting for the truth. 

[ andrew relives the experience as well in his own mind, remembering how his heart had stopped the moment he saw steve falling, how his name had torn from his lungs in the wake of engine’s roar. he hadn’t thought, hadn’t blinked, he’d just lunged for steve like nothing else mattered, not himself nor the camera he dropped. it wasn’t until steve was twirling him around and lavishing him in exuberant praise that he’d realized what he’d done was at all heroic; he’d just thought it was necessary. he wasn’t about to lose the first best friend he’d ever had – not when he knew he had the ability to save him. a warm smile crosses andrew’s face as he watches steve shout and pick him up in the video. ]

Me neither.

[ as matt joins them on screen, andrew is reminded of the words they shared later that night as they lay in bed together. after a moment, he turns to steve and asks, ]

Steve maintains eye-contact with the other boy, his eyes hopefully depicting his sincerity in earnest. This moment felt incredibly important, and he almost feared that he wasn’t coming off as honest. He didn’t often feel unsure, but Andrew seemed to bring out the insecurity in him. He had an unnatural urge to be overly compassionate towards him, but it was something he had learned to contain - sure that it would seem slightly pathetic. 

No, that day was pretty cool.

[ a small but growing grin tugs at the corners of andrew’s closed lips at the memory of hurtling through the sky to catch steve in mid-air, at the memory of how the other boy had twirled him around in dizzy celebratory glee afterwards like he was some kind of hero. he supposes he kind of was, at least on that day, and he looks back on it with as much pride as bewilderment. ]

Hold on, I’ll pull it up.

[ a couple of clicks brings him to the right folder, and, after sorting through a couple of cloud-filled thumbnails, he finds the one containing steve’s rescue. another click, and it’s playing full-screen. ]

Here.

[ andrew’s spine stiffens as steve moves in, nervous despite the fact that he gave him permission. but once steve has settled beside his shoulder, his presence warm and comforting instead of cold and tense like his father when he leans over him to criticize whatever he’s doing, he relaxes with a soft exhale. for a minute he just scrolls thoughtfully through the folders and thumbnails on his computer, each a tiny colorful square that contains a piece of his story – or rather their story, now that steve’s a part of it. some of the squares, (which he quickly scrolls past with a flickering frown), represent bad things; some represent good things. the ones with steve in them tend to be the good ones. eventually he shrugs and turns his blue eyes upward toward his friend. ]

[ andrew watches steve cross the room, not really acknowledging that it may be hard for him to do so due to the clutter. it isn’t until he’s standing awkwardly beside him that andrew registers that he should move, and he lurches for the chair nearby and sits himself down, scooting in toward the screen. shaking the mouse to rouse the machine, he logs in with his password and then types in another password to access the hard drive. as he hits enter, he glances back at steve and tilts his head toward the computer, inviting him closer. ]

Well, growing up with Matt made me know a lot about conspiracies…

[ it’s half sarcasm, half truth – as steve should know by now, matt, especially when high, has a knack for talking ridiculous theories. after setting the hard drive on the desk, andrew looks from it to the computer screen and then down to the camera in his hand. he gives a little shrug. ]

Uh, I watch it sometimes. Usually just when I’m copying it over, I guess.

[ his gaze shifts slowly back to the computer screen that he’s sat in front of countless times, whether to play video games, to watch tv online or to watch himself go through his day. ]

It is kind of amazing. Uh, when we’re using our powers, I mean.

[ sometimes he can hardly believe his own eyes when they see the crazy stuff they’re doing played back on-screen, even when he performed it mere hours before. glancing back toward steve, andrew asks tentatively, ]

He glances down at the ground, the smile on his face threatening to falter as the reality of the memory sets in. ‘’I don’t think she’ll notice, though, so I’m safe for now,’’ he tries, a watery kind of humor laces his words. 

As if to dissolve the hint of emotion that flashes on his face, he switches the attention back to Andrew. ‘’Do you ever worry that someone will find the footage you record? Do you think the government would do creepy experiments on us?’’ 

Oh, shit.

[ andrew can’t help but crack a tiny smile at the thought of the incident, though it turns to more of a grimace as he considers the repercussions. but the subject change has him displaying a different emotion altogether, shock and sudden worry flashing across his features. he shakes his head quickly. ]

They couldn’t, I mean – it’s all password protected.

[ moving instead toward the desk where his computer sits, (stepping over the various computer parts scattered on the ground around it) he picks up the external hard drive plugged into it that he stores all his old footage on and shows it to steve. ]

[ andrew cocks an eyebrow at steve, noticing he’s acting a little strange. he seems almost as nervous as andrew is, which makes andrew look weirdly calm in comparison as he buries his discomfort beneath tight lips and stiff hands. he feels the urge, when steve slips up and refers to him instead of them, to show steve something that will impress him, but as he looks down at the camera in his hands he realizes, with bitter disappointment, that he doesn’t really have anything to show. glancing up at steve and then around the room, he tentatively moves across it to stand at the side of his bed as if he means to sit on it, but hasn’t yet. as he does, he speaks, eyes on his camera rather than his friend. ]

I’ve just been experimenting on my own. Uh, practicing with the camera, mostly.

[ ever since the incident with the redneck on the road, he’s been pretty careful with his powers. he wouldn’t want to have another accident and almost ruin everything again. breaking himself from his thoughts, he looks up at steve and asks, ]

He glances down at the ground, the smile on his face threatening to falter as the reality of the memory sets in. ‘’I don’t think she’ll notice, though, so I’m safe for now,’’ he tries, a watery kind of humor laces his words. 

As if to dissolve the hint of emotion that flashes on his face, he switches the attention back to Andrew. ‘’Do you ever worry that someone will find the footage you record? Do you think the government would do creepy experiments on us?’’ 

[ andrew retracts his arm when steve’s hand bats against it, at first glowering and then chewing on his bottom lip as steve steps into his room and scans his often-intruded-upon personal space. as he follows steve’s gaze around  the bedroom, he wishes, with shame settling heavily in his stomach, that his once-a-month-ish cleaning  spree had fallen closer to this day, so that the floor and bed and every other flat surface might not be littered with dirty clothes and crumbs of junk food and trodden-on magazines. pulling the camera into his hands so he can cling to it for comfort  and separate himself from the boy in his room, he shakes his head and mutters glumly: ]

Another poor excuse was better than no excuse at all, right? 

[ andrew’s lips press flat together and his grip tightens on the edge of the window he’s still holding onto. of course matt would have given his address away without ever thinking of how andrew would feel about it. he would have been content to never let steve into his hell of a home if he could, but now that he’s floating outside the window waiting to be invited in like some sort of vampire, it’s far too late. after a moment of consideration and a frustrated sigh at steve’s jest, andrew relents. ]

Alright, you can come in. But only for a little bit. And if my dad comes home, you have to leave.

[ he can’t even imagine the hell he’d be in for if his father found him with some boy he’s never seen before in his bedroom. nervously he pushes the window all way open, making room for steve to enter, but keeps on arm on the glass a moment longer as he urgently adds, ]

‘’I know, I know,’’ Steve says, but the grin never leaves his face. ‘’I just thought I’d stop by and see how you are, y’know, how the telekinesis is going and all.’’

[ andrew’s brows furrow in suspicion as steve gives him what might be the lamest excuse  ever, the frustrated frown that marks his face the antithesis of steve’s permanent grin. ]

It’s doing fine – 

[ he cuts himself off, still wide-eyed and confused and a little bit scared – not scared for steve’s safety as  much as the secrets hiding just behind him, in the room he’s never invited steve to see. his own self-consciousness has him squaring up his shoulders in order to obscure the room from steve’s view as he questions, in a voice more baffled than upset, ]

Another poor excuse was better than no excuse at all, right? 

[ it’s only 8pm but andrew’s already lying in bed, staring up at the camera he’s levitating around the ceiling. his mom has slipped into (a hopefully uninterrupted) slumber, and his father is out, more than likely getting drunk in some dingy bar somewhere. andrew might be more annoyed if this wasn’t exactly what he wanted: a fleeting but much-appreciated moment of peace in a home in which it is very rarely found. all is calm, all is quiet.

that is, until he hears the knock.

at first he thinks it might be a bird pecking on a tree, or some asshole throwing stones at his house from outside, and opts to ignore it – but when it repeats itself over and over, each break in the silence pounding into his brain like a mallet, he sits up and scoots himself to the edge of the bed to go investigate the noise.

it’s only when he’s halfway to the window that he realizes there’s someone on the other side of the glass. his jaw drops. ]

– Steve?

[ rushing to the window with his  camera hovering by his shoulder, he pulls it open and stammers, ]

‘’I know, I know,’’ Steve says, but the grin never leaves his face. ‘’I just thought I’d stop by and see how you are, y’know, how the telekinesis is going and all.’’