unleashed!~

And I will love you for the rest of my life.

Just one brave enough to stay.

I don't have all the answers. But I know I'll never find them in religion.

I secretly loathed myself. I would often speak down on myself. I hated my body, the body that carried my 2 beautiful daughters yes that body. I always thought I wasn't beautiful. I doubted myself, I definitely didn't see my worth. Hence any and everyone had access to me. I despised my choices and looked down on my ambitions and aspirations rendering them unattainable. My confidence was always at an all time low. But I sat down with the woman that was me. She was broken and surviving the best way she knew how. She had a pain she couldn't name and an ache she couldn't define. A freind to everyone but she had none. The girl who felt unloved grew up to be a woman who didn't love herself. She looked for love outwardly searched for it but couldn't find it because she didn't even recognize it if it hit her in the face. But she got me here. She stayed. She woke up and showed up from a very broken place. Im healing for her...she deserves it. Im sorry for the unkind words. I'm sorry for the self depreciation and most importantly I'm sorry for the pain you couldn't name. Im sorry you felt unloved. I'm sorry you hurt for so long. You're my hero, the reason this woman can stand tall..own her past with a full chest. You're me. I love you if Noone else will. You're stronger than you will ever know. You've touched lives and given hope. Your legacy is that of love. Even though you didn't know it...you gave it. I'm proud of you. You could have given up..but even when life knocked you down..you got up, wiped the tears and kept moving. I forgive you. I see you and I hear you.

Rueluv

Sit here my friend Sit here and cry with me Sit here in silence Sit here in mysery with me As we toast to life, to health and to mysery Oh careless mysery Let’s silently enjoy being miserable For such my friend, such is life!

Love redefined!

My baby girl, she kicks and rolls within me. A constant reminder that life does go on. Zion, my redemption Molayo, my Joy Taanashe, my security How could I ever regret u?

I will love you, with all that I am I will love you, for both of us You are not a mistake I don't regret you I know you have already blessed my life My sobs are not for u U did nothing wrong My pain is not from you U could never cause me pain My heartache, my sorrow Is never from you You are my joy ,my solace My healing, my comfort Knowing you are there growing in me That's my happiness Despite all the ugliness in this world Something beautiful is happening within me Mommies pride and joy My portion in the land of the living How could I not want you?

It was the most dreaded thing in my community. It was a source of great embarrassment, hence every mother and father with girl children were terrified of it. Once one was discovered to be pregnant out of wedlock, the true most important question was “who is the father ?” Everything else was of little or no importance. Once the girl confessed who the Father was…the tete’s wasted no time. For it was believed that if a pregnant unmarried girl kept contact with her mother she would break her back. In the night accompanied by owls and other night crawlers, the girl would be taken to the perpetrators house where the tete’s and the girl would camp out. In the morning, they would inform the culprit that they had brought his deeds, no further information. Usually the “father ” would just assume responsibility and marriage steps would begin from there. However. ….other culprits would deny deny deny. Some for genuine reason others for just fear of assuming responsibility, regardless, they denied fathering the bastard. Whether you accepted or not, the tete’s would leave the girl with u anyway. Many of these culprits tried various tricks to escape this unwanted role. But these girls were coached to be resilient. Others were beaten up, forced to sleep outside, just a lot of abuse. All the while being pregnant. The girls knew that going back home was not an option as usually their fathers would swear that if they dared set foot in their compounds, they behead them with an axe. So going home to face the wrath of their fathers was never an option. It could go either way 1) eventually he would accept or 2) he would deny to the very end. Some say this was done in order to make sure that she had no plan b, i.e have a second option, or someone else who could have done this forbidden act. Some girls did have and after a few days they would go try their luck elsewhere. Anyone to accept responsibility for the pregnancy. For those without a plan b, it was plan endurance.

I've given u all, all that I am. Yet all u do is take. My time,my body,my very soul. I'm all dried out,I've nothing more to give. I'm so very fed up with ur moods,ur temper,ur arrogance, ur attitude everyday it's something. Every single day. Well I'm truly fed up. I've had it up to here with ur nonsense,you barbaric arrogant chevonist pig. You are lying,cheating son of bitch. Take ur bullshit elsewhere idiot! Coz I'm fed up.

The crown is ours.

Time can change everything Broken hearts heal Love becomes hate Friends become lovers All in a matter of time! Time heals all wounds Though scars may remain Stories still told Yet all in time...they become just memories Ecclesiastes says...there is time for everything A time to be born A time to die For every matter under heaven There is a time.

That's what's up