알리

wag nyo sabihing normal lang na may pagsubok

kasi lecheng buhay talaga to

pinipilit ko naman mabuhay pa e

pero kasi bat ba ko nabubuhay kung puro pagsubok lang naman lagi diba

pano ko naman gugustuhin pang mabuhay diba

hindi ko naman hinihiling na maging milyonaryo o sobrang yaman

pero sana naman maging fair ang buhay

Dios na ba ang dapat na sisihin?

kulang pa ba ang ginagawa kong pagsusumikap?

mandugas na lang din ba ako?

ayoko na kasi talagang mabuhay pa dito sa napaka-unfair na buhay na to

lagi lang napapagod pero parang paulit ulit lang at walang patutunguhan tong buhay na to

le is che talaga ang mabuhay

ma is ma matay na lang sana talaga si ako

because i know to myself that i'm just barely surviving.

should i continue living?

BE GONE IN THIS WORLD...

Gusto ko ng sumuko

Gusto ko ng sumuko

Sumuko na kaya ako

Sumuko na kaya ako

Sumuko na kaya ako

Susuko na ba ako

Susuko na ba ako

Susuko na ba ako

Ayoko na

Ayoko na talaga

Ayoko na talagang magpatuloy

This

Is

My

KARMA

.

.

.

Staying

Alive

With

Depression

Anxiety

Mental

Illness

.

.

.

Why

Not

Just

Die

?

?

Kelan ba ko mananalo sa buhay na ito?

May paligsahan ba?

Paano ba nasusukat kung nanalo o natatalo na ang tao sa sarili niyang buhay?

Good shot or good form?

Trying to be alive atleast by the end of the year...

Celebrated my 생일 with the M's...

Maybe this will be the last? I'll never know...

The view was superb...

But my mind has other plans...

Will God punish me if my attempts succeeded?

Will God blame me if my attempts did not succeed?

Will God curse me if my only wish is to d'e?

Will God throw me in a pit of fire for punishment?

Is it my fault if i want to be gone in this world?

Is it my fault if i have depression and anxiety?

Is it my fault if I am not yet healing?

I'm really tired of this world.

What if...what if I...

What if I do...What if I do it?...

It's getting stronger but I think I'm really getting weaker.

Why do I have to feel this way?

Am I really fit in this world?

Or am I really meant to be gone in this world?

Do I stay?

Do I stop? 🔪

Bakit nga ba kailangan pagtagpuin pa ang mga hindi naman itinadhana?

Ito ba ay upang maging aral? Upang mas maging matibay ang isang tao? O talaga bang para lang tayo ay masaktan?

Para nga ba tumatak sa ating mga isipan at puso na hindi tayo para sa taong ating ginusto?

Marahil ay may nakatadhana nga para sa isa't isa,

pero meron nga bang tunay?

Bakit hindi na lang ang taong ginusto natin ang mapunta sa ating piling?

Wala nga sigurong kasagutan para sa mga tanong na mga ito.

But God always has other plans. He keeps on waking me up even though I don't want to anymore.

I still wish that God will not wake me up tomorrow.

To continue living is not the goal, but to be alive just to see you.

😔

Maybe this year?

Maybe next year?

Or maybe next month?

I'm tired from all the challenges that life is throwing.

Should I just give up?

Should I still continue?

I don't know.

All I want is to sleep...

then maybe I'm a sin itself.

If me loving you is a sin,

then let me sin forever.

If me loving you is a sin,

then will I go to hell?

If me loving you is a sin,

then can you sin with me?

I will keep on sinning if that is what it takes to love and protect you.

'Cause you are my perfect sin.

😞