daydreaming, night reading

my mom told me this story tonight about my grandfather. she said when he was a little boy he was afraid robbers would break into his house in the middle of the night and try to abduct him out of his bed. he thought that they would be able to feel that he was the shape of a little boy under the covers and know to grab him. so he would try to fall asleep in the shape of a letter of the alphabet. so that they would feel for him and be like "oh it's just the letter R, not a kidnappable child"

thank you ao3 for being an archive and not an algorithm. thank you for letting me like things without consequences, thank you for being free with no ads, thank you for having lawyers to defend our freedom of speech. thank you tag wranglers. thank you to all authors and thank you ao3

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

how is everyone feeling today

age gap relationships where the older one outlives the younger one >>>>>>>>>

the crushing weight of the guilt when you already feel like you're stealing someone's life away, dragging them down like a dead weight chained to their ankles; selfishly draining their youth to fill your own twilight years, vampiric. and then the unthinkable happens. they're gone, and you remain. the grave you were digging for yourself becomes theirs instead. they were supposed to still have time, to leave you behind to grow and live, to make new memories in your absence. you were meant to be a chapter in their grand narrative of their life, and nothing more. they could have been something greater than you ever were. but the curtain call you were waiting for came for them instead. and now all that's left of them is you.

next time you encounter something confusing, try using your fan fiction reading device to access websites like "wikipedia" or "miriam webster" to break down those pesky difficult topics. its sorta like a "enemies to lovers" situation, where the scary new knowledge can become your friend - and then you won't look so unflattering when you comment

remember when you could find websites that contained information