Gente

That is such a precious story - how old is he? Cause if hes old enough i wanna meet him and hope he’ll love me so we can discuss our angry feelings towards boys 

Ahhh, I’m about to go on stage and I’m so nervous, can you tell? If you’re here, and I really hope you are, come hang out after the show! I wanna see all of you.

Why are you nervous? You are fire! 

Happy Fourth of July, everyone! I hope you’re all coming to Chelsey’s BARge tonight - I haven’t been around much lately, but I’d love to catch up with all of you!

Its an excuse for drinks and a bikini, so yes, absolutely. Always. 

Are you guys even ready for the fun and, dare I say, oiled up lifeguards on board the Me Gusta?! It’s July 4th and the Reese’s are bringing y’all all the fun in the middle of Lake Pontchartrain! 

Never ready for oiled up lifeguards I think, but very happy about the sound of it! 

you know what sounds pretty amazing right now? blowing off all adult responsibility and ordering pizza or any other food and just sit out by the beach, it beats lifting up heavy boxes right? hi i’m shay, the thirty one year adult child! 

You know how to do everything right it seems, I say do it and eat all the pizza

Long Island is sooo nice! I’m so happy to be back there. HA! Good show last night,

I was going to comment that its a really good cocktail and then realized you meant the actual place..oops 

Crayola has brought out a funny make-up range that looks like the crayons, and the first thing my daughter did with them was draw on her papers, because they look like hers. Now I’m left without the new make-up that I was sent, but I have a happy girl on my hands. 

I have seen a lot of things in my 31 years on this Earth but watching a naked man run around the corner, screaming that he was being chased by aliens, and then subsequently jumping into the lake because ‘water repels them’ is by far the craziest, and funniest, thing I’ve seen so far. My sides are still hurting. 

Where and when did this happen and why did I not see that? 

My poor dog hated the whole trip here, and I knew he would, but I still put him through it because I’m a terribly selfish mother and I deserve to be punished. Still… I would’ve gone just, like, completely off the rails in a new town without anyone to listen to me complain the way Otis does. And he’s a dog, so he can’t sass me like a human child can. It’s great. My dog knows everything. Dark secrets, secret hookups and all. Shit, I even bought a two-bedroom home just so he could have his own space. What kind of crazy person does that? I mean, I do, obviously, but I already know I’m crazy, so that doesn’t change a thing. Tell me I’m not the only one that would cut off an arm and a leg for their pet? Oh, right. This is the part where I introduce myself. I’m Liz. You might know me as that bitch from Dynasty, or that bitch from Victorious, or… just that bitch. It’s a pleasure. 

Okay before I answer to the part about your dog, wait Otis, right, let me just tell you how obsessed I am with Dynasty! But also, I prefer actually babies over puppies, but puppies are the second best so no, you’re not crazy. Also, hi, I’m Hailey. 

I have to say, unpacking has to be one of the most mundane tasks ever, especially when you’ve just been traveling, which is exhausting in itself and then you’ve got to unpack, I feel like my suitcase is taunting me but I’d rather take a nap

Especially after the Met Gala, huh? You looked spectacular, you and Lili both really, such a dreamy appearance, the two of you together just look so good