Glitter everywhere~

me, an elder fandom veteran, suddenly having anne rice flashbacks:

no.

NO.

starting to rock back and fourth.

you do not understand.

you were born into an age of peace. i was there Gandalf. i was there three thousand years ago. i remember the cease and desists. i remember authors hunting fanfic writers for sport. i remember when every fic opened with a disclaimer because we genuinely thought it might protect us.

we do not charge money for the copyrighted gay wizard stories.

do not tempt fate youngling.

step away from the paywall.

that is how you summon the ancient evils.

It is absolutely immoral, completely counterproductive to the goal of learning things, and turns out incredibly subpar work.

if you give a man the power to feed you you give a man the power to starve you.

so you’re on all the bank accounts. do you have an account of just your own that he can’t access? because he has one. do you have a way to get money into that account uncontested? because he does. do you have a credit card in only your name? he has one. do you alone qualify for a mortgage or car loan? he does. do you have employment history? he does.

have you considered that if he hurts you and you file a report or get medical attention, that will damage his career as a public figure, and his career is your only income? have you considered that unless you are 100% certain you want to divorce, it’s in your best interest to keep everything as quiet as you possibly can? have you considered that your husband plays a sport with high rates of CTE and drug and alcohol abuse which all correlate to rage and loss of impulse control? have you considered that at any time he can get traded and you’ll be off to utah in 24 hours? have you considered that your support system is a group of women in the same place as you who consider this all normal and even enviable? are you a good wife? are you a caring mother? are you a hot girlfriend? have you learned to find value in your commodification? if you broke up with your boyfriend and cut your hair and changed your name would your friends still be your friends? would your community still be your community? it all seems exciting and romantic and like a perfect story when you are 21 and he proposes on the beach. it seems like the way you want your life to go. now you’re 31 with 5 kids and no work history in a place you didn’t grow up surrounded only by women in your same situation.

and maybe nothing bad happens! maybe he loves you and treats you well. maybe he is kind and caring and a good partner and a good father and a good husband. maybe you are respected and valued.