A suspiciously stingray-shaped patch of sand

Do whatever you gotta do to make sure you can tell your grandkids good stuff when they ask you what you did during the historic times you lived through

It's really funny that redditors convinced themselves that the stupid Tiananmen Square copypasta is going to get chinese people forcefully disconnected from their internet service or something while the UK government will get your ass if you complete the sentence "Soldier F is ___" and has actively worked with google and with social media websites to censor posts or search results about Soldier F

Like 90% of the shit people make up about China is actually true for the UK

Princess who says “let me consult with my advisors” before staring off into space for a full 30 seconds until she snaps back with a different posture and tone of voice

i cant stop saying "im gonna smile" lately its really funny to me. cause saying it that way makes it sound like a threat or something. like fuck if you dont watch out im seriously gonna Smile . im seriously gonna fucking Grin myself

GET DOWN, IT'S GOT A GRIN!

STAY STILL OR ILL FUCKING GIGGLE

I think exposure to pokemon basically only being showdown has given me a skewed perspective of the series, because the other day I saw a plush of one of them thangs outside and I was trying to recognise it, and my friend said it was Pikachu when it noticed me staring. I have just learned that's the franchise mascot. But y'know I know like... Mespirit my friend from Random Battles.

dolly zoom can be a cinematographic technique but also a jubilant expression of joy

alright I'm almost finished Project Hail Mary, and I have to say, I don't get why people are shipping the guy with Markiplier when he's already in a perfectly healthy queer-platonic relationship with the alien spider made of rocks

I think having his url scooped up by a Tumblr Lesbian who immediately can't keep up the kayfabe, is bad at characterizing him when they do, and immediately succumbs to beefing and vaguing about the pushback... well, it's both the most embarrassing and most fitting thing that could've happened to Pjackk, let's be honest...

i got that dog in me but it's poorly socialized and i don't take it on as many walks as i should

'unbecoming' is such a good word. not only was that thing you did bad but it also made you less.

it's such bs that the whole guilt-ridden stoic self-sacrificing martyr thing doesn't work outside of fiction. repressing all your emotions and neglecting your physical wellbeing should make you god's most tragically beautiful morally unassailable little soldier of righteousness but all it does is give you bad skin and gastrointestinal problems

Enough about your blorbos for a minute: who are your siblings’ blorbos? Reblog with your blorbos-in-law!

i know this is tumblr and we’re all playing perverts but i just think some of you would be excellent company for a late night walk and a four hour conversation about absolutely nothing