normal woman

if you don’t give college students internships they’ll start being superheroes in their small college towns

non lesbians always have the craziest takes on lesbianism it’s like lesbians will be like “hmm yes i think the hate towards bisexuals is overstated we should have more community with other women… hmm yes i think there are many ways to be a lesbian and limiting it to butchfemme dynamics is bad” and some bisexual woman who calls herself sock with he/it pronouns will show up and say I THINK WOMEN WHO HAVE SEX WITH MEN ARE LESBIANS IF THEY SAY SO. HER JAKEY IS A LESBIAN TOO. SUCKING DICK IS A LESBIAN ACTIVITY like maam i know you just started identifying as lgbt yesterday and have a lot to learn but this is actually not a space for you!

thinking about the time i was talking about chainsaw man with some people and i said about makima “i can fix her” and one guy went “but she’s a horrible person you don’t want to date that” brother what do you think i can fix her means

if ANYBODY gets to be an honorary lesbian it’s johnny truant writing about how hot her wrists are and giving her oral as his main priority. my spirit animal

i have so many thoughts about the passive, unfeeling degendering of women (and specifically women that don’t 100% conform to beauty standards—you can be a feminine woman but if you don’t look like a tradwife you are still getting called they) and how it specifically happens to women and how crazy misogynistic that is that it deserves to be an essay but i’m not pretentious enough to have a substack so it’ll live in my brain

if i learned one thing from my degree it’s that we cannot and will not outlaw conventional pesticides because the food system depends on them and if you really really want everything to be produced in a way that perfectly complies with what you think is “not chemicals” you also have to be prepared to let large amounts of people fucking starve

i wish there was JEI irl for bullshit in your cabinet like i should be able to look at canned green beans and press R for recipes i can make with canned green beans

scrolling around on maps near my apartment going “and i’m gonna get tea there and bagels there and oh i am DEFINITELY going to be a regular at that japanese place and that’s the grocery store that i have to go to at the crack of dawn to shop in peace…”

hi i met a cute girl at the bar and i think it would have worked if we weren’t both graduating she was soooo pretty and i rlly hope she stretches her ears cause i told her it wasn’t that bad and she should :) cause she had fake gauges so she should get the real thing. anyways i drank like 4 cups of water but i am still inebriated so its bedtime :) alsooooo she called me handsome which omg. im dying. holy shit. also YONKERS

"hows reading day going" 1 hour of chud agarthan esoteric schizo music to survive the kali yuga

grapes are so cool. lianas are so cool. plant said i want to climb that thing but also be tree can i do both and evolution said YES !!

i feel like the amount of women that have weird ass vagina problems i’ve never experienced is correlated with the amount of women that get that thang waxed on the regular. like you cannot be telling me that your shit is that fucked just. at random. and so many of you??? nah

instagram knows i like plants but cannot parse how people are talking about plants so my feed is often full of "omg i love my outdoors job but WHY did it have to be the plant one i only do animals plants suck ://////" how about i KILL YOU with a GUN

still thinking about that customer yesterday that called and said “i just have a question” and i said yeah sure i can answer that for you and she just started ordering pizza. like yeah technically “can i get xyz” is a question but that’s not what that MEANS

“anybody can be a lesbian!!!!” says woman dating a tim who goes on to argue that saying that you’re not attracted to dick is exclusionary and weird

idk how chappel roan got so popular as a “lesbian” artist when one of her popular songs is literally about having a bad date with a man and deciding to only date women. if that isn’t the most “bisexual woman who’s going to exploit lesbians for sex then promptly marry a man” thing idk what is

cannot wait for the extremely awkward interaction next week where i have to iron my shirt in the tiny hotel room i am sharing with 3 turbonormie women who have never heard of a cufflink