Reading is my life

I have to reblog this when it comes back around.

Nobody calls each other “terminally online” anymore. I think that’s because everyone is terminally online now. Jobless too. And ugly as fuck. Stains all over our shirts. Stupid as well

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

i hate how they market alexa as a ‘member of the family’ like that’s SO fucking blatantly insidious and terrifying also if i wanted an untrustworthy/cold/emotionless machine in my life i’d just talk to my fuckin father 

“Guys stop bullying my wiretap”

#did we all collectively forget why Big Brother was called that

many women are excited to get old and weird, but i have great news that it's fully possible to become weird now, before you get old. just imagine the heights of weirdness you will be able to reach in fifty years if you get started now. that's what I think

if we can set aside attachment discourse for a moment (please) i think the jedi marriage prohibition makes sense in a “please don’t enter a complex legal, financial, social, and in some cases religious contract, the specifics of which vary wildly depending on planet and culture” way. the single jedi with a law degree does not have time to draft everyone’s prenups to prevent the whole order from getting sued

#fandom is all about creating interesting new problems#it does imply that intra-jedi marriages might be acceptable#presumably less paperwork#much to consider (tags via @celinamarniss)

The thing is every step of the situation does actually make perfect sense if you follow it more closely. Why is Farage stepping down and immediately re-running? Well he's trying to delay the investigation into his finances and also pull a PR stunt. Why is no-one else running? Well they don't actually want him out of parliament yet because they want the investigation to continue. Why is his main competitor a man with a bin on his head? Oh that's just Count Binface, he runs every time there's a high profile by-election. Why is he Count Binface? Well he used to be Lord Buckethead but he had to drop the character due to a copyright dispute. Why was he Lord Buckethead? Well in 1977, Star Wars was released in cinemas,

(popular leftist voice) these right wingers are so mad because they get no women. if you are a Good Person a woman will appear and suck your dick.

(popular leftist voice) these right wingers are all sooo poorrrr and stupid. They are stupid because they are poorrrr, racism would never exist in my suburban area

Popular leftist voice: these right wingers must have brain damage. They must be bigots because they are literally reta suffering from blsck mold, or brain damage.

Popular leftist voice: Every single right-wing person is literally so ugly and chopped, let me point out their exact features and how they're ugly. Having bad thoughts literally ages you. Good People are always hot and sexy and have kind countenances.

thinking about the time I made a post saying I was watching American Psycho and some overactive good citizen came sprinting from the woodwork to go "make sure you remember that the book was written by a gay man and the movie is directed by a woman and it's not glorifying Patrick Bateman!!!" yeah cheers man I was def going to go start killing people with an ax if you hadn't said that

mostly thinking about this because I'm currently reading Fight Club. can't wait to base my entire worldview off of this, the narrator seems like he really has it together

hold up. this book is actually really funny.

I was going to say something about how I didn't expect there to be so much soapmaking in this book but got distracted by the lye kiss. this goes crazy.

girl help this guy's alter started an anarcho primitivist cult in their basement to bolster his etsy soap empire

in the Fight Club universe I bet Molly Conger makes a craaaaaaazy episode of Weird Little Guys about this

rough trade could have saved this narrator

I need to make one for work...

when your mutual reblogs something with a full page of tags its like. girl (gender neutral) i am filling my mug with coffee and reading this like the morning paper. i am so interested in your thoughts on this post. i love you.