me: *SOBS IN JURDAN*

When they’re discussing potential political matches for him, Nikolai gets very moody and dismissive of all the women Zoya mentions, and as he’s brooding about just wanting to be alone, he notes that he actually really loves Zoya’s company like this, just the two of them by the fire. Even as he’s calling her a harpy. Even during this conversation that he hates, he’s thinking about how much loves spending time alone with her. While talking about who he should marry.

When Kirigin tells Nikolai of his interest in Zoya, Nikolai shoots him down and thinks about how men are always trying to soften her up in their minds, deluding themselves that she’ll warm up for them. And then he thinks about how much he likes her just as she is; he doesn’t want her to change, for him or anyone else. He’s the only man who likes her for her and not her beauty. (And Zoya has spent so long using her looks to get men to fall in love with her that Nikolai’s apparent immunity to her beauty makes her think she hasn’t got a shot with him, when unbeknownst to her, he loves her for who she is.)

We know that Nikolai doesn’t just want to marry for love, he also wants someone who would be a good leader for his country. He’s a romantic, but he also loves Ravka. And so in Chapter 27 when he thinks about how Zoya is truly the queen that Ravka needs, but also the woman that he wants, he’s basically saying that she is it. He trusts and values her so much that if he were to die, she’s the one he wants to give his entire country to. And that’s huge for him. So much of who he is and what drives him is this need to better his country, and it just so happens that the woman he’s falling in love with is also the one he implicitly trusts with doing everything he wants to accomplish.

do NOT imagine Cal and Mare at their wedding

they just finished to dance the first song they ever danced together (for me that’s “Gravity by Sara Bareilles”)

Mare sits down (probably grumpy for dancing)

Cal talks to the person who’s taking care of the music

“Come on Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners” (his favorite song) starts to play and he sings (terribly) for her, in the middle of everyone, even dances a little bit, and pushes her to join him

I’m writing this post about the upcoming midterm elections on November 6th, in which I’ll be voting in the state of Tennessee. In the past I’ve been reluctant to publicly voice my political opinions, but due to several events in my life and in the world in the past two years, I feel very differently about that now.  I always have and always will cast my vote based on which candidate will protect and fight for the human rights I believe we all deserve in this country. I believe in the fight for LGBTQ rights, and that any form of discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender is WRONG. I believe that the systemic racism we still see in this country towards people of color is terrifying, sickening and prevalent.

I cannot vote for someone who will not be willing to fight for dignity for ALL Americans, no matter their skin color, gender or who they love.  Running for Senate in the state of Tennessee is a woman named Marsha Blackburn. As much as I have in the past and would like to continue voting for women in office, I cannot support Marsha Blackburn. Her voting record in Congress appalls and terrifies me. She voted against equal pay for women. She voted against the Reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act, which attempts to protect women from domestic violence, stalking, and date rape. She believes businesses have a right to refuse service to gay couples. She also believes they should not have the right to marry. These are not MY Tennessee values. I will be voting for Phil Bredesen for Senate and Jim Cooper for House of Representatives.  Please, please educate yourself on the candidates running in your state and vote based on who most closely represents your values. For a lot of us, we may never find a candidate or party with whom we agree 100% on every issue, but we have to vote anyway.