moon bound

Nah nah nah, pretty sure The Little Mermaid was based on true events. Disney wouldn’t spin a bullshit yarn. […] Fuck, Ursula would be even better. Calamari, anyone?

Never learn nothin’ if ya ain’t curious!

Y’think mermaids’re half fish n’ half red meat? Where’s one stop and the other begin? Figure I can get a surf n’ turf platter outta one carcass by that logic. […] Been thinkin’ ‘bout it all day.

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[pm] [...] Yes. Figured blue would be kinda cheerful? As long as you don't try to stab me or something, I'm pretty chill if I choose to shift outside the moon since I've been at this a while.

Oh, I hate hard candy. Terrible for the teeth. […] Wait, what? A blue jolly rancher toothpick dagger? Okay, that sounds pretty cool. Might check that out actually. You’re not using jolly rancher toothpicks to break out of handcuffs, right? Because that would be cool. I love lots of information. Yeah, don’t worry about it. I’ll make sure not to break it. As much. 

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It may be terrible for the teeth, but it’s not like you actually need to bite down on them, that’s the beauty of hard candy, you know? They sort of just [...] melt after some time. See, it’s not as bad as it seems. You know, I’m not sure if that’s possible, but I’m sure you could try it out. Let me know if you find out that it does work. If you do, it’s really okay. You can just keep the pieces. 

Of course!

Oh, okay! I just never would want to judge someone’s tastes, because I get that everyone’s are different. Yeah, apparently they’re supposed to be good for your eyes, but I just like them because they taste so good. Though they’re not for everyone. I think so, yeah? Sort of like tomatoes? But I still would tend to say that unlike lots of other fruits, they taste more savory, which is maybe why they get lumped in with vegetables so much?

Yay! Oh - because I want to just do nothing with my aunt. She’s one of the best people I know, so just chilling and doing nothing with her is the best! Though so’s going to a movie or getting take out.

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Stewed carrots aren’t so bad, but I’m not much of a Bugs Bunny, you know? I’ve only recently found out olives are fruits since it’s because they grow on trees, so I’m not really sure what’s happening in the world of fruit versus vegetable anymore. Pumpkins versus squash, I’m sure, will also make a comeback seeing as we’re entering fall, too. 

That’s sweet. Yeah, I’m sure it’s nice having someone to do nothing with. 

Familial bonds are one of a kind, that’s for sure.

That’s what the numbers say, and numbers don’t lie, do they?

Sort of. It would be endearing if it wasn’t so closely tied to ending up in trouble from not knowing better. Here’s my advice: if you hear someone say something is dangerous, trust them and don’t go see it for yourself.

Yeah… I was kinda raised on those random sayings. I don’t always listen to them though. So, where are you from if you don’t mind me asking?

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I’m sure the numbers lie all of the time. 

Yeah, I mean, I’m not an idiot. I’m not exactly fond of danger, or finding it for myself. I’ve seen what danger can do, and I don’t want to relive that. 

Well, I guess that makes sense. The west coast. So it’s a little different over here. Colder, but the same amount of rain, I guess, depending on the day. Are you from here?

Hmm. I hope so, too. In any case, if you need anything, all-natural remedies for wounds or bruises or maybe even just a good time to de-stress yourself, feel free to come and visit us at Namas-Tea Happy Farm! [user attached a very basic map that looks like a child made it] Stay safe out there. This town can be wild.

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Oh, um, okay. Namas-Tea, that’s [...] a clever name. But yeah, sure, I may drop by at some point. Do you sell tea, too? I mean, I’d assume you would with a name like that. [user is impressed by the map because they, too, have no artistic talent.] That’s what I’m figuring out. 

[pm] [user does, in fact find it weird]

Oh, that’s good! I just figured I’d mention it, just in case, you know? You think so? I don’t want to assume, but that seems like maybe one of the safe sorts of things to assume.

Oh, that’s okay! I just love them, but I know not everyone does. Cucumbers and artichokes and carrots are my favorites, and if you like fried foods, you can always fry up something? But uh, for other restaurants, the Thai place is pretty yummy! Sometimes doing nothing’s the best! Especially if that doing nothing happens to be going on at the same time as when my aunt is doing nothing. 

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Thank you regardless. 

I mean, it was mostly a joke. But um, cucumbers are good. Not a huge fan of carrots, even if people say they help your eyes. Avocados are good, too, but I think people almost consider them a fruit, right? I’m not sure if I read that somewhere or not. Okay, cool, I’ll be sure to check them out. Is it because you don’t want to do anything, or because you do?

Sure, it’s a little absolutist and few things in this world actually fit neatly into one category or another without overlap.

That’s fair. I don’t know much about barn cat’s - or house cats for that matter- but they’re generally pretty skittish around people, aren’t they? 

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Hey, it works for some people. 

Me either, usually. I just sort of learned I had to live with them. I’m more of a dog person, which saying that now feel so wrong. Uh, I guess? These ones aren’t, but I’m not sure if it’s because they were socialized. 

[pm] Oh. Well, it’s probably down again. Government websites, am I right?

Not sure if it’s ever, I’d have to look into that, but right now, I’m the youngest member of the Tourism Board. Everyone else is old as fuck more experienced in terms of […] having been alive. The meetings are super boring and some of them just go on and on in circles 

Yes, definitely. I know a lot about this town, one of the best towns in the country. Feel free to just hit me up whenever. especially if you’re a hot single gdi sam 

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[pm] Isn’t it supposed to be the opposite of that? Don’t you work for the tourism board which is a part of the government? Or is that wrong? 

Okay, so older. I mean, young people bring a new [...] I don’t know, I’m young, but I swear I heard my dad say a thing or two about hiring younger people. They keep it fresh, or whatever, is what I think he said. 

Uh huh. I think a few other towns have it beat, but I’ll bite. What makes it so great? Aside from the weird time crap.

What’s a blue jolly rancher? Sounds like a guy I’d like to fight. Is that some sort of chips? Candy? I love gummy worms! I mean, sure. I just […] I’ve just really found some weird love for tinkering with things these days. Like figuring out how they work and stuff, you know? Totally not distracting myself from all the weirdness right now.

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It’s [...] a jolly rancher but blue. It’s a candy, yeah. It’s a little similar to gummy worms in sweetness, I guess, but it’s a hard candy? Takes awhile for it to go away, but can turn into this sharp little dagger that you can poke between your teeth and pretend it’s a tooth pick. [...] That was a lot of information. Anyways, uh, yeah. That’s cool, and the watch is in good hands then. 

I figured. I was kinda pulling your leg on that one.

Heh, check the statistics for lottery winners. You’re more likely to be struck by lightning or hit by a meteor. That’s how low those odds are.

Nice to meet you Rory. Yeah, it’s nice. My neighbors and I use it all the time to communicate, real easy to use.

So you’re new to town then? Welcome ! Yeah, you know what they say: curiosity killed the cat.

That makes a lot more sense. 

Is that how it goes? A meteor? Really? I thought that was a myth.

I am new, yeah. I guess it’s sort of written all over everything I do, huh? 

I’ve only lived here a bit under a year, but I recommend being careful in the forest at night! I don’t have experience with that but I have heard stories! Also if someone is being creepy I’d walk away from them, but I think that’s sort of universal.

Well the library is great, and so’s Veggie Tables, and I like looking at the ocean at Hanging Rock. Sometimes along the beach you can find sea glass and that’s so beautiful. What are some of your favorite things to do? Maybe I’ll have more specific ideas then!

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The forest at night? Yeah, I’m not too much of a fan, so you don’t need to worry about that. Ironic, considering I lived in the redwoods, but I [...] think you may be right in that is absolutely universal. 

Not much of a vegetable eater, actually have to remind myself. Sort of feel like a kid in that way. But um, thanks for the suggestions. Favorite things to do? [...] I don’t actually know. Whatever, I guess, but nothing at the same time?

[pm] I suppose there are movies about them. Yes, those kinds of vampires. There might be an easier way here, but if you wish to find out discreetly, I would ask someone with a good nose to see what they can gather. 

Are you sure? It’s alright if you saw something strange. I won’t go talking about it, or try to tell you it didn’t happen. 

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[pm] [...] I’m still not sure I’m following you, but um [...] yeah. A good nose? Like a dog? I’ve got a good nose, but I’m still not sure how to