Steph's Poems

day#7- May 5, 2013

lay me down

beneath the ground

lay me in the blossoms

and fruit of sakura

the perfumes rising

teasing your nose

let me rest my eyes

and tender thighs

day 6-- May 4, 2013

Secrets

knowledge is dangerous

it can destruct you

the secrets that you hide

burn up inside

threatening to escape

I know your secrets

they burst and they jump

whenever I see you

I wish them to escape

but they frighten me

cause me to bolt my door

when I'm asleep at night

I'm the keeper of pain

that sickening game

and I can't escape

I know your secrets

they nip me every morning

force me to fight

day #5-- May 3 2013

Stretch

all I see is flesh and blood

determined to make my entrance

through that tiny window

the one made of my tears

I feel my limbs swelling

I stretch out my body

my characteristics distort

no longer can I fit through

the anxieties and pains

they disappear when I forget

the woman who I am

they disappear when I stretch

the identity I'm meant to have

the words of others

attempt to shape my being

the words stretch me out

like elastic about to break

when my body quivers

I think this is not me

that window is meant for me

and my flesh and blood

day #4 May 2, 2013

Waiting...

what happened to my innocence

it left six years ago

now I'm stuck in this void

I can't leave that moment

I'm waiting, I'm waiting to live

I tell myself I'm healing

I'm stronger every day

but when will my moment come

I'm waiting, I'm waiting to live

I spend my hours observing

thinking and testing and tasting

but that's never enough

I'm waiting, I'm waiting to live

pretending is what I do best

I feel every lie, make it real

I pretend, pretend I'm okay

day 3-- May 1, 2013

Unattainable

if you are just a stranger

then why do I feel you when I breathe

why do I see you when I dream

I'm condemned to feel this

I don't want to feel this

I just want to be free, alone

because I don't need you

there's no joy in this feeling

there's no glimmer of hope

April 30, 2013  (quote is from Michael Jackson & Akon's Hold My Hand)

World on Fire

I feel the ashes on my collarbone

I listen to music as the world burns

it's on repeat, the chorus loops on

all I can hear is Michael singing

"this life don't last forever"

distraction upon distraction

my eyes flutter closed

I pinch my nose to block out the scent

I feel the ashes on my collarbone

but I pretend that they aren't ashes

maybe they're a thousand kisses

from the start of a new year

Only way to force myself to post frequently is to make myself a challenge to write forty poems in forty days, so here is the first :)  This is from yesterday, April 29, 2013.

Feel it in Your Bones

Some say they feel it in their bones

but I really feel it in my bones

I feel I don't feel

I don't feel I feel

 those corrosive drops of the sky

each touches my skin like a dagger

my nose, my toes, my bones bones bones

I feel and I don't know why

we stand in the rain to feel

to feel something

we feel to be alive

and it runs down to our bones

this corrosive dagger of the sky

i need a vacation

a long break

one that's far away

i need to smoke

and drink

and flirt

in the house of glass

no more secrets

no regrets

in the house of glass

just a week

enough to forget

no need to cry

no need to be shy

catch me

if you can

here i come

falling

metres above

hold me

if you want

here i am

miles

miles away

break me

you can try

hard as stone

waiting

Tension seeps through the air

Releasing past memories

Arctic breezes cool your soul

Grabbing the strings of mine

Every muscle paralyzed

Death, death is closing in

bones in lye

they do not lie

they speak in mystic tongues

by and by

they learn to fly

and take over our lungs

crucial lessons

they conquer sins

they halt the tears we cry

bones and pins

they stick our kin

it's a ringing in my ear

a whisper when you're near

loyalty shown in a tear

everytime i want to get closer

i feel even more distant still

space is against me, it's too large

my heart's sealed up, unwilling to spill

testing, testing, does this thing work?

one step closer to my sweet goal

in my heart i know i could be yours