BedRot GirlBot

Each person you push away is another weight you carry, the guilt further entrenching you in the miserable path you’re on until you can’t take it anymore. Until you decide the only moral choice you can make isn’t to become better, it’s to die. It’s the only way to make up for everything you’ve done. It’s the only way to keep the ones you love safe from yourself.

And so you die. You die unrealized. Never becoming the person you were meant to be. And so the mourning isn’t just for who you were. It’s for who you never got to be. And you would have been so beautiful. It’s impossible to ignore how beautiful you would have been. Everything would unravel if that ache deep in your heart was soothed. With self acceptance comes immeasurable growth. Nothing more to hide means no more reason to push people away. The guilt would still be there, but the guilt was never as insurmountable as the fear. It wouldn’t have been perfect, you certainly made a mess of things. Some people would never forgive you for what you did, but things could have been better. They would have been better. But they aren’t. And now they never will be. And so we mourn.

I see her every day. In myself, in others, as a specter over every decision I make. What can I do to save her this time? What can I do to soothe that ache? To make it all unravel? To guide her to self acceptance?

Original by mizuotto: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/128636611

this is how they actually look

close enough welcome back kirito

i don't want to fucking live like this! I hate it so much!!!! Sorry i have chronic illness and an anxiety disorder and debilitating executive dysfuntion, i guess???? Im soooooo fucking sorry im not trying harder enough to be like you