roman

“Well, what they don’t know won’t hurt them,” Maria replied. She was sure if they found out just how often she’d truly gotten away from them, they would all lose their positions. And while it probably would’ve been a wise choice, she didn’t want to see them unemployed. “Of course you were.” She took a deep breath, her demeanor shifting a bit at his final words. “I don’t like what you’re insinuating, Roman.”

“No, it will only hurt you,” Roman said with a biting edge to his words. He didn’t care for his job very much, and he didn’t always get along with Maria, but that didn’t mean he was totally blind to the dangerous Oscana held for the royal family, especially as tension built. “What am I insinuating? I’m just saying that you’re playing a bigger part in things than I would have guessed. I’m not trying to start any drama.” He held his hands up defensively and shook his head. “I swear.”

“Oh, please, if you were my guard I’d never have a moment’s peace.” Maria laughed. There were times when she quite easily got away from her current guards, but for the most part when they were around her, they stayed out of her way. She clenched her jaw at his words. “All due respect to my brother, I have been at nearly every political meeting since I was thirteen. I doubt they expect me to stop that now.”

“You’re right, although, if your guards are doing their jobs, you shouldn’t have a moment of peace right now either.” Roman wondered if Maria’s guards were competent. It wouldn’t surprise him if they weren’t. Some of the other people assigned to her older brother were absolute idiots. “Oh? I guess I didn’t realize that. I’ve been away for a while...and when we were younger, I was usually waiting for your brother to get done with those meetings so we could go and do something exciting.” He rubbed the back of his neck, searching his mind for memories, but coming up empty. “Sounds like you might play a bigger part in the politics of a war than I thought. Which makes me wonder if you do know more about the current status of things than you’re telling me....”

“well, i can’t predict the future, can i?” rik said with a sly smile. but he would give roman a little bit of leeway, just to keep the fun going. “how about this? i promise to make the favor at least somewhat enjoyable for you. you can fight someone or berate someone.”

Maria was curious just how far Roman was willing to go to be able to fight again, but she didn’t ask. She knew she may not want to know the true answer. “If he gives you too hard of a time, be sure to let me know. Perhaps I can talk some sense into him.” It was mostly a joke, but she didn’t dislike Roman as much as she let on. In fact, there were times she was glad to have him around ( though she wouldn’t admit it ). “Even if I was told to stay put, it would be difficult to keep me away from the political aspect.”

“Oh? Will you talk some sense into him or will you just try to employ me for yourself? I am good at my job, even if I would rather not be here. Although, something tells me you’d be a lot more difficult to keep up with.” For all Roman knew, Maria might try and slip her guards all the time. He saw one side of her, not the full picture. “Even though you’re not the crown child? Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re more than capable of playing a part in the political...shenanigans, but isn’t that mainly your older brother’s job? I know you’ll be involved somewhat, but what do your parents really expect you to be able to do?”

“Well, I don’t know.  I am not a physician or a general, but I am trying to help you, so there is no reason to snap at me.  But if you are so sure that there is nothing to be done, perhaps you should find some other way to do what you love without needing their approval.  Or just get over yourself and find something else to love – getting yourself killed is just stupid.”  It was perhaps not the most proper thing to say, but they were arriving at the kitchens anyway, so she did not really care.  Besides, she stood by what she said.  It was stupid.

“I’m not snapping at you,” Roman mumbled, aware that he had in fact, snapped at her. His fighting days were a touchy subject. More than anything, Roman wanted to return to the military. “Excuse me? Getting myself killed for my country would be an honor, and it’s my life.” Up until that moment, Roman thought they were having a fairly pleasant conversation. Now, however, he felt ruffled. He stopped by the kitchen entrance and crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t tell you to get over yourself and find something new to love. I’m sure whatever you love is shallow and meaningless. At least what I want and what I love means something.”

rik rolled eyes, but inside he was bristling at roman’s comment. he was not cut out to be a prince and certainly not cut out to help people. what good was he? “you know, perhaps i’ll just go rummage around your quarters for other things to steal, instead. unless you’ll promise me at least a favor.”

Oh, Roman wanted to hit Cadrik in the face so badly. Gritting his teeth, he nodded stiffly. “Alright, fine. What favor do you want?” With his arms crossed tightly against his chest, Roman waited impatiently to find out what Rik had in mind. “Don’t even try that ‘to be determined later’ thing on me! I want to know what I’m getting myself into before I agree.”

“I agree. I wish we’d come to a decision,” Maria replied. She’d wanted a decision made much earlier, but here they were - still waiting. “It sounds to me like you need a good fight.”

“You have no idea.” For a minute, Roman thought about telling Maria that there was someone among the ambassadors that might be able to help him get back into battle. But he didn’t tell her. If he did, he would have to explain what he had to do in order to be in that ambassador’s good graces. It would mean admitting to being bribed with treason, and as well as he and Maria were getting along at this very moment, Roman knew she would do whatever she had to as a princess - which meant reporting treason to her parents. Instead, he sucked in a breath. “But I doubt that’ll ever happen. Unless the physicians change their mind and clear me to fight, I’ll be stuck protecting your brother forever. At least you’ll likely play a part in the political aspect if we go to war.”

Legal.  Felicity barked out a laugh.  “You have no moral high ground here, soldier.  The only difference between what you and I do is that you act on the will of kings.  And you destroy far more than I ever will.”  He was indeed a force to be reckoned with, she had to admit, but while she was breathing harder than she had been, she was far from nervous.  “Is that what your commander told you?”

“So what are you? A pirate? A merchant who swindles and destroys?” Roman was under no illusions about what he had done, and wanted to do, in the military. It wasn’t always a valiant career. People had died at his hand, and plenty of others had been wounded. His sword sliced through the air, the sound of clinking metal filling his ears. “Begrudgingly. Leadership didn’t exactly love me. I think they saw me as a threat. I was better than them. They knew that if I took an interest in their positions, the crown would likely look favorably on me...because I was good at what I did.”

“Hm. Well then maybe you could prove them wrong.  After all, if you feel fine, surely you could provide a demonstration or something to the physicians to show that you can handle more than they think.”  Rosamund knew very little about medicine or injuries, of course, but it made sense to her that he should be the one who knew best what he was capable of.  Perhaps it was because she was also used to being underestimated, even without any injury.

A waft of something wonderful cooking hit Roman’s nose and caused his stomach to growl. Oh good, they were getting close to the kitchens. He was temporarily distracted from his hunger by Rosamund’s absurd suggestion. “Demonstration? What do you propose I do? Backflips down the halls? I’ve shown them all I can already! They’re just so stubborn, and unfortunately, the generals listen to them. I don’t understand why. If I go out and end up dead, isn’t that my own fault? What’s it to them?”

“Sir Roman,” Jia nodded, raising a brow at the knight. “Well, I suppose you came to the right place,” she replied, gesturing for him to enter. She didn’t know much of the man, but her husband hadn’t thought much of him. Too aggressive. She wasn’t sure how well-suited to life as a guardsmen he’d be, but his connection to the crown prince had secured his place after his injury. “What can I do for you?”

Truth be told, Roman didn’t know much about Lady Fei. He knew of and about her husband. All military officials, in Roman’s opinion, thought too highly of themselves. As much as Roman had loved being a soldier, he resented many of the higher ups for what he perceived to be their cowardice and power hungry driven decisions. He’d never met Jia’s husband personally, but Roman assumed that he was like all the others. 

Roman entered the room, his hands tapping against the sides of his legs nervously. He had far too much energy for this. Lady Fei seemed so cool and collected, whereas Roman had rarely shown such restraint. “I was just - I’ve been wondering about how the negotiations are going. I won’t pretend that I’m enjoying my time in this country. I’d like to leave as soon as possible, and...well, considering we all know how involved you’ve been in negotiations, I thought I’d come right to the source.”

“Right now, it’s hard to envision my future. I hope that my future includes the military...or at least participating in the inevitable war somehow. We’ll see, I guess.”

“Considering what I’m considering right now...I think the answer is yes.”

Maria found herself laughing at his words. By all accounts, she should’ve been yelling at him or saying that he was the one with the big ego, but here they were. “Yes, because you have absolutely never been ridiculous. Always doing your duty, hm?”

“Always. I am a very loyal subject.” Roman winked cheekily, thinking of Maria’s parents. He was sure that they believed him to be a good soldier, but whether or not they felt he was truly qualified to be guarding their son, he had no idea. Roman’s lips stayed curved into a slight smile when he spoke again, “In all seriousness, I hope we know whether or not we’ll be going to war sooner rather than later. I hate waiting.”

“i like to think everywhere is a miserable place with me around,” rik retorted easily. he was used to being told he was bringing down the mood… it didn’t get to him anymore. “that depends. what’s in it for me?”

“For the love of the gods, Cadrik. You’re a prince. You should simply want to help one of your subjects!” Roman ground his teeth, finding it increasingly difficult not to punch Rik in the face. “I know you don’t have anything better to do. So suck it up and help me look.”