welcome to my brain. . .ᐟ
works. rules. ━╋ ᅟ
' even the iron still fears to rot '
' hiding from something I cannot stop '
Stranger Things
occasionally subtle

★

if i look back, i am lost
cherry valley forever
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
dirt enthusiast
RMH

Janaina Medeiros

⁂

shark vs the universe

Acquired Stardust
Sade Olutola

Discoholic 🪩
Claire Keane

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
we're not kids anymore.
d e v o n
Jules of Nature

seen from Germany

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seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia

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@romanticria
welcome to my brain. . .ᐟ
works. rules. ━╋ ᅟ
' even the iron still fears to rot '
' hiding from something I cannot stop '

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DR. PARKER ELLIS THE PITT 2.07 – 1:00 P.M.
Older butch!Cassie Mckay...
A/N: my first fic for this blog! i wrote this on a whim at exactly 2:31 am last night before dozing off then proofread it like once, so pls forgive me if there are any mistakes or if the writing is bad and pls be kind😭 but yeah i’ve been thinking abt cassie mckay and her effervescent butch swag for a hot min now...
cw: lesbian!cassie mckay (always), age gap (cassie is 42 and reader is in her early 20s), fem!reader, femme!reader (yes they’re different), some smut in there but not fully and it includes eating out (r!receiving), use of a strap (r!receiving), brat taming, daddy kink, spanking (r!receiving), mating press position hell yes, manhandling (or shall i say woman-handling), very slight mentions of a praise kink and talking you through it, body worship (r!receiving), trust me it’s not as smutty as it sounds but yeah, mentions of cigarettes and getting drunk, mentions of rude patients, med student!reader heavily implied (and blatantly stated) as i’m inspired by mcvadi but not much use of medical jargon bc i’m not a med student
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Older butch!Cassie whose first thought when she wakes up in the morning is you. Her skin itches desperately for the radiating warmth and softness of yours, pressing herself against you like she needs to merge with you and become one in all ways physical and spiritual, marking her descent down your dormant body with hot, languid kisses.
Older butch!Cassie who used to have a side hustle as a mechanic before she turned her whole life around and dedicated it to the pursuit of medicine, who now shakes her head amusedly at your trilling complaints of your car as she stabilizes herself with a toned bicep against the popped hood…little grunts (some intentional, some wickedly deliberate) emerging from her parted lips as she works her magic on its engine.
Older butch!Cassie who is actually a big history buff— especially when it came to lesbian history. Who has wooden shelves lined neatly with biographies of the community’s loudest voices. Who has been around long enough to interact with many different eras of lesbian culture, and understands it all from lesbian bar culture to flagging…she has excellent gaydar, but doesn’t really focus on using it because she always has much bigger fish to fry.
Older butch!Cassie whose unconscious body language alone makes women (you) all over Pittsburgh drool. Crossed arms accentuating her biceps, chronically manspreading every time she’s sitting down, sometimes with a lazy slouch as the cherry on top, walking around the PTMC like she’s got the biggest dick in the whole city…which she does. It’s a dark navy color. She keeps it simple
Older butch!Cassie who takes body worship soooo seriously. Pressing her lips and swiping her tongue over every nook and cranny she can access (you’re squirming by the 3rd kiss to your jaw), caressing your hips and thighs with the kind of reverence you’d have only read about in the most cataclysmal classical romances. Older butch!Cassie whose every move is accompanied by a soft mutter of praise against your skin, who would theoretically glare at anybody (Santos) that would dare to ask her if she prefers tits or ass because she cannot breathe without kissing and biting at both of yours.
Older butch!Cassie who is always the designated driver when you’re out clubbing with Santos and Whitaker (occasionally Javadi too, on nights when she’s gathered enough courage to sneak out of the lioness’s den), who simply rolls her eyes and huffs at you whenever you insist she stay home and relax. Who takes you off of the former two’s hands by an ungodly hour of the night when you’re entirely wasted, hoisting you up with a grunted “That’s enough, doll” and carrying you to the passenger seat of her ‘76 BMW. Who gently puts you down in the seat and buckles your seatbelt, smirking at your slurred, feeble tangents as she drove you back to her currently empty apartment. Who steers with one hand and nurses a cigarette with the other.
Older butch!Cassie who would gently tell you off for smoking cigarettes, then light one of her own. Who, on occasion, enjoys shotgunning— just to revel in the way your pupils doubled in size and your corneas glazed over in a lustful daze…before pulling you into a kiss so fierce and primal it felt like she was starving.
Speaking of starving…Older butch!Cassie who is the lesbian bible’s textbook definition of a munch. Who would never go more than 2 days without going down on you, her arms wrapped around your thighs tightly as she drowns herself in your essence; tongue delving deeper and deeper into your slick, needy hole in what to her is the most sacred of pilgrimages. Her nose lodged against your pulsating clit as she groans hungrily against thousands of sensitive nerve endings. Whose sky-blue eyes are fixated on your expression the entire time, reaching into your soul and engulfing it with the fiery ferocity of a woman who simply can never have enough.
Older butch!Cassie whose favorite pastime is fucking you in a mating press…her (un)surprisingly strong hands fixed firmly on the backs of your thighs, locking your knees to your chest while she repeatedly sunk her strap into the depths of your slick pussy and let its thickness stretch you open until you were weeping and wailing…who groans gutturally at the sight of you like this and the sticky, squelching noises your pussy made with every deep thrust against your cervix, only egging her on to go harder as filthy praise trickled from her lips to your ears— older butch!Cassie who, contrary to popular belief, actually prefers being called daddy over mommy when it really came down to it, because the latter feels far too weird for her to hear in such lewd context when she has a son who still refers to her using it. Who initially felt embarrassed for enjoying being called that so much, but then gained a lot of confidence (and arrogance) when she came to realize you’re enjoying it just as much as she is.
Older butch!Cassie who is the epitome of casual dominance and butch chivalry; opening doors and buckling seatbelts for you, carrying things for you no matter how much you protest (“It’s a question of my capability, not yours, baby”), making sure you’re drinking enough water (will literally force you to btw), a gentle but firm hand always glued to your lower back whenever you’re out and about, occasionally snaking up to wrap around your shoulder and press you against her side in the case of a crowd. Who braids your hair before bed and follows the sidewalk rule with zero exceptions, her first priority always being keeping you safe, well-fed, and well-fucked.
Older butch!Cassie who is not a gym rat per se…she occasionally does go whenever she has the time (which is rare, what between her taxing job at the ER, spending time with you, and treasuring every precious moment with Harrison whenever she’s allowed to see him), but most of her muscle comes from all the heavy lifting she does at the ER. She’s by no means super ripped, but she’s strong enough to easily give you piggyback rides whenever you’re tired of walking…and also strong enough to woman-handle you and toss you around like a doll in bed. It’s not dependent on your size, either— she’s lifted grown, lifeless men twice her weight off gurneys before and handled some of the bulky machinery used at the PTMC, and not to mention the strength it took to push through her pregnancy…she’s more than capable of bearing your weight. It makes her feel cocky in a way she’s a little ashamed to feel at the grown age of 42.
Older butch!Cassie who is constantly toeing the line between keeping your relationship private and an HR violation. always leaning over your shoulder, her breath hot and tantalizing against your pulse point as she whispers instructions in your ear, biting back a smirk at the way your hand trembles as it carefully moves the scalpel and calling you a good girl under her breath for doing your part in the procedure so perfectly…who is constantly checking in on you whenever you’re both at triage to the point where Dana is giving you both pointed looks and raised eyebrows (who am I kidding, she clocked yall from day 1), and always makes sure that Robby has you working with her— you’re her med student, after all. Who is visibly protective over you, especially when it came to rude patients who pushed the boundaries of what you could take. She doesn’t hesitate to make a sharp, biting (yet polite enough to not count as a violation) remark before silently steering you away to file a report. And if what happened to Dana with that angry patient happens to you? Oh, well let’s just say she’s fighting back the urge to do something that would send her back to jail, probation be damned.
Older butch!Cassie who is probably the most chronically offline person you’ve ever met…not unexpected for her age. The only social media platform she has is instagram, and it’s a private account with 2 posts from 2018 and like maybe 15 followers (most of them being her coworkers from the PTMC). She also has facebook, but she mostly uses that to buy shit secondhand (older butch!Cassie is a big thrifter). You try to explain the concept of tiktok and the popular memes of your generation and she just stares at you blankly😭 Cassie “That literally means nothing to me” McKay.
Older butch!Cassie who absolutely is a brat tamer. She always has this smug, wolfish expression on her face whenever she catches a whiff of your attitude, and you can already feel your little act diminishing in strength the second she fixes you with that unimpressed, warning glare that screams “Behave”. Who has no problem bossing you around, telling you to sit down or shut up (or get on your knees), or fucking the attitude out of you. Who is not above spanking, having you bent over and writhing in her lap as she repeatedly smacked her palm against the reddening flesh of your ass. Who raises her brows at you in dry amusement whenever you try (key word: try) to disobey, and keeps eying you silently until you’re pushed into compliance…she never repeats herself twice.
Older butch!Cassie who felt such eroding guilt eating away at her heartstrings when she first realized, deep down, that she was in love with you— her little mentee, 20 years her junior…she was old enough to have been your mother. She felt like a dirtbag for even considering someone this young, no matter how undeniably intelligent and ten times more mature than Chad you were. Who was kept awake and anguished for many nights, contemplating the possibility that she was actually just as bad as her douchebag ex-husband. Who never stopped treating you with the utmost care, but attempted to push you away in hopes that these unsolicited feelings would cease to be and set her free from the crushing weight of her sorrow.
Older butch!Cassie, whom you had to coax out from behind these walls she built around her heart for your sake…whom you had to sit with and serenade with the most devastating confessions of love until she couldn’t bear it anymore and gave in, succumbing to the ecstasy she forbade herself from for a painstakingly long period of time.
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A/N: i’m acc so embarrassed to be posting this lmfaooo😭 that being said pls be nice to me cuz i’ll prolly regret writing it bc it’s lowk dogshit but nonetheless DO NOT FEED MY WORK INTO AI OR DO ANYTHING WITH IT OTHER THAN READ AND ENJOY OR I WILL EAT YOU…also ik i cant stop minors from reading shit like this cuz i was one not long ago and absolutely ignored every mdni warning…but i would love it if i at least didnt know whether or not a 14 year old read this mkay🙏

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western nights
synopsis | you and cassie have been each other’s whole lives, even through her addiction and everything more; you’d do anything for her. but a volatile relationship can only hold onto so much.
tags | adult language. triggering & sensitive discussions of add!ctions, emotional instability, mental health, ideations, toxic relationships, slight power dynamic (? reader was 18 when she met 20 year old cassie), infidelity, diagnosis of cancer & s*bstance overuse. mentions of adult content, but never written out.
author’s note | please heavily understand this story is emotional and holds triggering topics and discussions. if you find yourself uncomfortable any point through the story, please do not continue. if you choose to continue even after reading the tags and this note, you’re hereby responsible for your own media consumption. please do not take any of this lightly. if i also get any facts wrong and such, i do apologize. thank you and i love you.
hi, hope you're having a good day, this is my first request ever so sorry if im doing this wrong, anyway
was thinking of Samira having a rival to lovers kinda off relationship with resident!femreader
she and reader act like they can't stand each other, but actually they can't take their hands off each other, if that makes sense yk, and of course everyone in the pitt can see the tension, they find insufferable
yess here it is !! and don't worry everything is great! love me some rivals to lovers. hope you like it <3
CHANGE IS GOOD!
━╋ samira mohan × female reader | based on this ask | fluff and angst
Samira and resident reader that since they started to work together they clash constantly. Competing against each other, making subtle remarks, questioning each others methods… and everyone around them are tired of it.
Robby one time even brought Samira aside and talked to her, telling her that whatever this is, you got to turn it down, you're suppose to work together. Samira just huffs, she ignores it, saying it's not her fault you're so godamn infuriating.
People thought that over time it would melt down, but it didn't. Somehow it just got worse, hidden feelings building up a much worse tension. But somehow, you crave each others presence. Because why would Samira walk over to a case that wasn't hers, to just look from over you shoulder, feeling the warmth of her body, and ask you about it?
And why would you ask for her when you're stuck in a a patients diagnosis, feeling your heart fasten when she brushes her fingers against yours as she took the tablet from your hands, knowing she would help you but still comment about how you should have known?
Sometimes you glance at Samira while she's with a patient, and wonder what would be like for her to talk to you this kind and sweet. And Samira looks at your hands while you're explaining something to a patient, watching them closely.
Correcting a patient when they call Samira a nurse, she was about to correct them herself when she hears your voice. She looks at you for a moment, and when you look back at her she gives you a polite smile that makes you freeze.
Imagine Samira tells you and the others nurses what to do before leaving to take care of someone else, but finding out you interfered and changed what to give the patient. She flips out, yelling at you before Robby walked in and grabbing you both by the hands and making you enter a room. “You two are going to get your shit together or you wont leave this room.” Robby sighed and ignored your complains before leaving and locking the door.
It was silent for a moment, but she looks at you with an angry glare that makes you scoff. “I didn't put the patient in danger- I was right, he should've had-” You start but she quickly cuts you off.
“It's not your right to interfere! You have to listen-” Samira yells and gets closer to you. “In case you forgot- you have no power over me, were both residents- I can make the decisions and interfere if I see its not the best” You say and Samira was sure she could push you, you continue to yell at each other when you're face to face, too close, you could feel her breath in your face and she could see the frustration in yours.
If anyone had seen that scene they would have put themselves in the middle of you, it was sure you were going to hit each other. But you cupped her cheeks and kiss her hard- she didn't even had time to think- she kissed you back roughly and pushed you against the wall. You grabbed her shoulders and you feel her tongue sneak into your mouth, the room was filled with gasps and whines.
When you stop- you saw the realization on Sampras face, and she backed away. “This… this didn't mean anything.” She said and you heard the door unlock.
“So- have you ladies resolved your stuff?” Robby asked opening the door, but Samira quickly left the room passing trough him without even looking.
“I guess that's a no…” He looks at you and you look down before leaving.
The next days are awful, theres no bickering because you two avoid each other, simply politely working together, but never with no one else around.
Samira couldn't stop thinking about. About how much she hated you, how much you get under her skin, but how much she wanted to kiss you, how good she felt when she pushed you against the wall and felt your lips on hers. oh my god she pushed you against the wall.
One day after the shift, you and Samira are the only ones left in the locker room. She just tried to leave as fast as she could but she cursed when she heard you speak. “So… do you want to talk about what happened?” You asked her, arms crossed as you watched her put her stuff into her bag.
“Theres nothing to talk about. You shouldn't have done that.” She said and you sighed. “You kissed me too… remember?” You asked and she shaked her.
“I don't want to talk about this” Samira grabbed her stuff and try to walk away, but you stopped her. “Why?… why can't you admit that we might not hate each other?… that theres something going on?” You tell her, and Samira could see the honesty on your face.
She tights her grip on her bag, not knowing what to say. Not knowing what to do. She sighed, “I know… “ she swallowed hard, her throat felt tight, just like when she was a child and didn't want to cry.
“I know theres something going…. I- I don't hate you, I never did- not completely anyway. That kiss- it meant everything- I think about it everyday…” She said and closed her eyes for a second, trying to find the courage and look into your eyes.
“Since we've met, I wanted to be better than you, to compete, to avoid, because you-… you scared me, everything changed..” She said and you nodded, a bit surprised by her words but understanding them.
“You don't have to do that anymore… you don't have to be scared.” You said and she looked at you, eyes shining and sad. “I have thought about you everyday, even when you made so angry or when you said one nice thing to me. It's insane how obsessed I am with you and change… change can be good no?” You gave her a small smile and she chuckled, making your stomach flutter.
“Change can be good” Samira agreed. “But I will still be an asshole to you” She said and you laughed. “Of course, wasn't expecting anything else” You said and for a moment the air around you felt lighter.
“I want to try this… but it wont be perfect.” Samira said and you nodded. You grabbed her hand gently and she felt heat crawling up her neck. “It doesn't have to be perfect Samira… it just has to happen.” You said and she swore she could cry.
After this moment, the change is subtle but a little obvious, specially to your coworkers. Yes you still argued and bickered with each other, but they also caught the small grins on your lips instead of silence and angry looks, they see how more soft you are with each other, how well things went when you worked together.
Samira ends her shift more calm, catching herself waiting for you to walk with you to your cars. She think about your coffee order when she drinks her before the shift, she thinks about your opinion when she's having a hard time with a patient, she looks for you when Robby is giving one of his speeches and he sees you two look at each other with an smile making him proud (he thinks you two are finally friends).
i love you (emery walsh x fem!reader)
you hate when emery's gone, but the reunion sex almost makes up for it.
based off of how it seems mckay will be working with evil whitaker in the next ep… maybe you can write a story where med student reader has gotten close to mckay after being fairly consistently paired together until ogilvie starts getting paired more with mckay therefore making reader jealous because cassie doesn’t have much time for her anymore >_< after hurt feelings, and confessions they end up together !! (sorry very scattered idea)
not mine to lose — c. mckay
cassie mckay x med student!fem!reader
word count: 6.5k
summary: you were cassie’s med student. everybody knew that. so why was the new med student ogilvie in your spot? and why was he touching her?
warnings: mentions of vomiting, panic attack, there’s a slight indication to a suicidal thought but it’s very small and you probably can’t tell when, ANGST, age gap (r is 25, cassie is 42), idk what else
a/n: tried to get this out last night. it was finished before the episode dropped, but my tumblr was acting up so i just waited.

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I found ur account as I was listening to Ethel wow I feel enlightened
thankyou you! its a sign from ethel for you to read my works 🙌 haha im joking ☺️
+18 mdni
━╋ ...
vampire cassie mckay who can't help but turn reader into a vampire when she sees her on the back of an alley almost dying after being attacked by another vampire....
vampire cassie mckay that guides reader on their transformation, explaining her what she is/ what to do/ what she can't do.
vampire cassie mckay that lets reader and encourages her to bite and suck on her wrist before she actually feeds on someone.
vampire cassie mckay that can't control herself around reader and marks her as hers, backing off any vampire that might look in her way.
vampire cassie mckay that when you're away feels this emptiness on her body, and almost cries of pain when tries to remember your touch .... or your teeth on her skin.
vampire cassie mckay that wants reader by her side for eternity.
vampire cassie mckay that feeds off of someone and then kisses reader still with their blood all over her lips, chin and neck... and then watches reader whine and lick to blood on her skin.
can't stop thinking about mcvadi vampire au
and mowalsh....
can't stop thinking about mcvadi vampire au
emery walsh come home the kids miss you

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ethel cain fans that wanna look special by saying they don’t like american teenager have never listened to it while the sun is high, the sky is blue and there’s a cold breeze whipping past you on your bike
NIGHT SHIFT!
━╋ emery walsh × female reader who works in a coffee shop. blunt and confident walsh who can't help but flirt but also is looking forwards into being in a relationship
⊹₊ ⋆
Emery Walsh who goes to the same coffee shop everyday to drink a coffee before starting her night shift and loves to watch and talk to the barista who smiles softly at her.
Barista reader who notices her walk in with confidence, wearing scrubs and her hair into a low bun. She knows right away she's a doctor and while getting her order she sees she's an attending surgeon at Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center when reading the tag that was over her neck.
When giving her drink she gives you a small polite smile before leaving the coffee shop. And you stay there thinking you just saw the most beautiful women in the world.
Knowing her order because she orders the same thing everyday, and one day being confident enough to tell her, “The usual?” She looked at you surprised but then grinned. “Yeah…thanks.”
After that day Emery herself started to engage more. Talking about the weather, how was your shift, talking about her work… simple stuff that hooked her.
She also starts to get in earlier, so she could sat down and enjoy her drink without rush for the first time in her life…. and also to look at you work, not in a creepy way of course, but when you lock eyes she gives you a smile that makes you forget what you were doing anyway.
One time, before she sat down and enjoyed her drink, she leaned on the counter and tilted her head at you.
“Theres not a lot of coffee shops open until this hour, this really is a life saver” She says and watched you look back at her while making another order.
“Oh...- yeah, we realized we should open later so that I stays open for more time, since its so close to the hospital and offices.” You say and she nods. Emery isn't usually careful with her words- not completely. She's not scared to say what she thinks and never backs down. But she also knows not everyone is like her - and if she wants this to turn into something more she needs to do it well.
“A miracle truly… also.. don't change your shift, otherwise I'll stop coming.” She says before grabbing her cup and sitting down at the same table as always. Theres not a lot of people at this hour anyway. She sees you taking in her words and can't help but the how cute you are.
When you realized there was something actually going on and it wasn't all on your head, you start to return her attitude, in your own way.
The day is colder, Emery walked in a warm jacket and scarf, immediately giving you a smile and greeting you. You start making her drink, she notices, and when you finish you realize she's still taking off her scarf and jacket, grabbing something from her bag. So you decide to bring the drink to her table, giving her a smile. Emery smiles to herself and thanks you. She notices it's mutual too.
Thinking about reader making the first step instead of Emery. She was more in a rush since it was closer to her shift, watching her huff as she walked trough the door. You think about not doing it but you wrote your number on the coffee cup, watching her realizing it, she brushes her thumb on the ink before leaving. You think it was a failure, until when you open your eyes the next morning and find a text from her.
I didn’t think you'd actually give me your number, thought I had to get it out of you. That was brave. We should hang out sometime, on my days off and not in your coffee shop as much as I love it.
You smile at your phone and praised yourself to finally initiate something. You write her back and save her number.
Im glad I did I was super nervous. Of course, I would love that, tell me when you're free.
Emery bringing you to a cozy bar, playing soft live jazz and sitting down on a boot sharing some drinks and snacks. You guys get to know more about each other. She tells you more about her work, how she's not good at slowing down, how she wishes she had more hobbies outside of work but she does like to read. The conversation is good, you laugh, decompress and you can't help but notice how your stomach flutters when she smiles, and how beautiful she looks under the low orange light.
“Do you usually come here?” You asked her and she shaked her head. “I only came here once but I really liked the atmosphere… do you like it?” She asked and you nodded. “Yes- God its really pretty, you have good taste.” You tell her and she smiles.
“You know… you surprised me- I don't mean this in a bad way but noticed how shy you are… but I like it- you also don't rush things, you're comfortable with silence… I need that” She said making your heart beat faster. “Wow- I mean thank you, and a little rush wouldn't hurt me” You said and she tilted her head, giving you a warm look, a look you understood, a silent confirmation. “Good.”
When you're leaving she tells you to text her when you get back home, joking she doesn't want to see you at work but you could tell there was a real meaning there.
Home safe. I really enjoyed our date, I hope I wasn't too awkward. You text her as soon as you got home.
Good. I enjoyed it too and don't worry you were perfect. We should do this again. She responds.
We should. Can I pick the place? you text back.
Yes of course. Sleep well, dream with me will you? See you tomorrow.
You smiled to your phone and realized you were already looking forward to see her at the coffee shop tomorrow, back where you started.