A Little Whump

Preface to this blog: Roman Cates is a fictional character created by @itsleelove. This account is run by @itsleelove. Roman is a whumpee. Feel free to snatch him off the street if you're a whumper or perhaps join him for a smoke if you're a caretaker. He's seen some shit already. Posts on this blog will contain some story up to this point in his life as well as in character content.

Link to in character introduction here.

A little about Roman:

Roman is 22 years old and identifies as a man. He is asexual.

Roman was kidnapped and held captive from the ages of 20 to 22. He has just escaped from his previous captor/ whumper @legalname-avery-thomas. He doesn't know how to say no to people and will overcompensate for his trust issues by forcing himself to trust everyone.

Interests and squicks:

@itsleelove runs this blog and is very supportive of muzzles, electrocution, waterboarding, mouth/eye/hand whump, heavy gore, drugging, dubcon and most noncon.

@itsleelove does not enjoy/is squicked out by/triggered by medical whump, some noncon, eating disorders, scat/piss.

Family Matters

Liars, One and All

Roleplay scenarios:

Rescue Roman

Rp with @struggling-bloody-artist

Part 1, part 2, part 3

This post will update as this blog develops! Feel free to reach out! This account exists for roleplay!

Art for J/Avery under the cut

Getting the meds and an extra water is quick. Getting the book takes what feels like minutes of searching, because it's not on either table, kitchen or coffee. He grabs his own book and keeps looking. He finds it underneath the coffee table and brings everything back to Roman.

Roman does take the medicine pretty quickly, which makes Bryce feel guilty. He must be feeling it.

Bryce lies back down in bed, now far more awake than he should be. He opens his own book one-handed, ready to hold Roman again with the other arm.

Bryce turns on the light as he leaves, and Roman is glad for it. Even with the light on, he hates the minutes long wait, alone.

When Bryce returns, Roman relaxes again, taking the offered medicine, despite his ever-nagging desire not to.

Roman snuggles close to Bryce as they open their respective books. Bryce puts his book aside after a short while, although Roman continues to read for the better part of 45 minutes before he finally starts to get sleepy again. He sets his book aside and shifts to lay his head on Bryce's shoulder.

"That's true." It was probably a stupid idea, for more than just that reason. "I'll get you a book. Which one?" Bryce sits up slowly to let Roman move off of him.

Roman replies with the name of the a book. Bryce watches Roman as he stands up. Roman looks like… Shit. Bryce never gave him a second dose last night.

"I'll bring back pain killer, too," he says, and then, before Roman can speak, "You don't have to take it."

"That's true. I'll get you a book. Which one?" Bryce sits up slowly and Roman shifts off of him, giving the name of the first book that comes to mind.

"I'll bring back pain killer, too," Bryce says as he stands up. "You don't have to take it."

Oh... That's what that feeling is. He hadn't wanted to really think about it, probably because, subconsciously, he already knew.

Bryce lifts his eyes to look at the clock, but then Roman pushes up his sleeve to see his own watch. It's nice to see him able to take control, even in such tiny ways. He assumes the watch more or less matches the 2:03 displaying on the alarm clock.

Looking back at Roman, he does seem way too awake. Bryce feels a pang of guilt; after yesterday, Roman needs his rest, and apparently his sleeping was peaceful, except for Bryce. "Do you want me to grab you a book, if you can't sleep? Or… You could use my phone…"

Why has he never offered that before?

"Do you want me to grab you a book, if you can't sleep? Or… You could use my phone…"

Roman considers for a moment. "A... a book would be good, probably. I think if I'm trying to fall asleep again, a screen wouldn't really be that helpful." That and Bryce's phone... Well, Roman feels uncomfortable with the thought of having his own phone. He's held Bryce's phone before, but it always just seems... like an accident waiting to happen. Like if he touches the wrong button, he'll... well, he's not quite sure. But he is sure that something very bad might happen.

Bryce nods back, then meets Roman's eyes. "I'm sorry I woke you up. I appreciate it, but I'm sorry. Will you be able to fall back asleep?"

Bryce nods back, and meets Roman's eyes. "I'm sorry I woke you up. I appreciate it, but I'm sorry. Will you be able to fall back asleep?"

"You okay? Do you… want to talk about it?"

"It was just… Weird," he says slowly. He's not going to talk about how Boss scared him, about how this probably means that his own mind has deeper doubts than he's been willing to acknowledge. He's not going to bring up Avery, or Archer. "Unpleasant, and… Deeply weird." he shakes his head, not sure what else he can say.

"It was just… Weird," Bryce says slowly. "Unpleasant, and… Deeply weird." he shakes his head.

Bryce opens his eyes to a dim room. He's in bed, of course, and Roman is leaning over him, shaking his shoulder.

He reaches up, touches Roman's hand on his shoulder.

"I'm up," he says, groggy. The dream is slipping away already. He heaves a heavy sigh. "Thanks, kid."

Bryce opens his eyes, finally. "I'm up," he says, voice tired. He sighs heavily. "Thanks, kid."

"It's a nightmare," Archer corrects, and Bryce has to agree with that. Getting the Cates brothers out of this nightmare of a life has to be his first priority.

He turns, still looking for Mal.

"Why are you here?" He throws the words into the air, and they echo back for a long moment.

"You can't leave," she tells him, and he can practically see the smile twisting her face. "If you want to go home, that's fine, but you can't leave us, not really."

"Why?" He's lowered his voice, now, and Boss steps out from the shadows, walking towards him. Archer's gun barks once, twice, but bullets bounce off of her.

"You belong with us, Bryce. We won't let you go. Deep down, you know you're not fit for their company, anyway."

He shakes his head, not in denial, just as a reflex. She's right, of course she is, she's known him since he was a homeless, scared teenager. She's seen him grow, change, lose himself and lose so much else. She rescued him and hid his secrets, even the ones he didn't know she knew until later. She knew him, he sometimes thought, better than he knew himself.

But not recently. Not in the last few years.

"I can help," she urges, putting an arm out, silently urging him to take it, to depend on her. "Avery is already gone. Think how much help you could give them," she gestures towards the counter, "With my resources available to you."

He nods, slowly.

Bryce starts muttering to himself half-coherently... Things that sound like why. Why what?

Roman shakes his head, feeling just a little bit of anxiety rise, unwelcome, in his chest. He puts both hands on Bryce's shoulders and shakes him. Roman hates nightmares...

"I'm right here," Archer tells Roman, and Bryce tries to blot it out.

"Bryce," and that's Mal's voice, coming from all around, "Bryce, it was just a dream. You thought you could keep him?"

He takes a step forward, than another. When he feels blood beneath his feet, he crouches down, peering into the darkness to see who fell. There's a shot from his left, and he can feel the air tremble above him, where he was standing a moment ago.

The person below him is small — tiny. In the darkness he sees a gleam of white teeth, hears a feeble chuckle.

"Death…" Chokes out the person below him, and yes, that's Avery's voice, "Is far from the worst thing one can experience…"

"Oh, I know," Mal says, laughter barely held back, "But for you, my sad little wanna-be, I can be merciful."

Bryce jumps up, searching for Mal.

Where is Roman? He turns, looking, trying to see anything besides the dark shapes made by the scattered tables and their chairs.

Nothing.

Bryce ventures further into the building, towards the counter and food display. He draws his gun, unsure why he's here or who may have taken Roman from him. It's silent, his footsteps echoing until there's a flash of light that illuminates the area, and the thunder that cracks right on top of it.

Roman is crouching behind the counter, his hands covering his ears, face a mask of terror. Kneeling with him, one arm protectively holding him, is Archer. The other hand is holding a gun, aimed at Bryce.

Bryce lowers his own weapon.

Archer doesn't. But his gaze shifts, to… something behind Bryce?

Before Bryce can really process everything, there's another boom, this one from inside the shop. From behind Bryce.

And Roman is bleeding, bleeding, bleeding out? He can't tell. "Roman!" Bryce cries out as Archer shoots, and someone falls behind Bryce.

"Roman—" Bryce cries out in his sleep. Despite the low volume, it sounds urgent. Afraid?

He might have to go visit Dirk tomorrow. Only if Roman is up for the drive, he promises himself. Maybe they can get food… Not at a cafe, that would be bad after today. Maybe they can go to a drive through, eat at a park again. That was nice, last time they did it.

Until Bryce fucked it up.

He can avoid doing that tomorrow. He can.

As he's been thinking, Roman's breathing has grown even. His face is more relaxed now; his whole body is.

Bryce nestles closer to Roman. "I love you," he whispers. "Tomorrow will be better." He closes his eyes and hopes sleep will take him soon, too.

Roman snuggles in close to Bryce, resting his head against Bryce's shoulder and putting an arm around him. Within minutes, he falls into a blessedly dreamless sleep, heavy darkness wrapping his mind like a weighted blanket.

They head back to Bryce's room, where Bryce changes quickly. He notices that Roman looks away as he does so, which he does appreciate. There's a possibility they should really talk at some point about what Bryce suffered, but today is not the day. Probably not this month.

If he has multiple months with Bryce left…

He touches Roman on shoulder when he's done, pushing the thought from his mind. Together they go back to the what Bryce has started to think of as their room.

They head into Bryce's room and Roman turns the other way while Bryce changes. He's tired and his thoughts don't really form into constructive ideas, but his mind wanders absently back to seeing Bryce's scars, turning the images over in his head. They come to an abrupt halt as Bryce touches his shoulder.

They head into the guest room and Roman changes clothes, too. He's been in his pajamas since last night, since he didn't end up changing to go to the hospital, but he refuses to wear the same pair any longer. Even if they hadn't seen a full day of wear, he wants to change into an outfit that he doesn't have quite so much trauma associated with at the moment...

Bryce takes a deep breath. "Roman… I'm asking you to." His own voice sounds lifeless to himself. Too tired. Today has been too much, and he doesn't have answers to any of the questions raised. Not by Archer, not about Kyle, not about what Roman will want. "Please."

Bryce takes a deep breath. "Roman… I'm asking you to." His voice sounds flat... exhausted. "Please."

Roman feels an unwelcome pang of guilt for apparently half-misunderstanding. He shoves it violently out of his mind as a ridiculous notion that he's already entertained far too many times today. He swallows the impulse to say 'sorry,' and nods.

"Don't— We'll talk tomorrow, right?"

Roman gives a little nod.

Bryce watches both of them closely as Kyle goes through the routine. He doesn't try to speak outside of the needed medical instructions, which are almost none at this point. They've done this enough times that they have it down to a dance.

Roman looks… checked out, maybe. It's subtle, but Bryce knows him too well at this point to not see it. Kyle's exhausted enough that he doesn't seem to notice. Or maybe Roman is just good enough at lying.

That's something he's going to have to think about, after today. After yesterday. Roman's better at lying than he thought, and yet Archer called out every falsehood earlier.

When Kyle finishes and begins to pack up, Bryce speaks.

"Can you come over for dinner tomorrow evening? We can eat outside."

Kyle looks up sharply, swallowing awkwardly. "Uh…Yeah. Yeah, I can— We can do that."

"Seven," Bryce says. Kyle looks too tired to drive very far. "And— You're staying at the house?"

Kyle makes a face. "Yeah, I guess I am."

Bryce nods, "See you tomorrow."

As Kyle heads out the door, Bryce turns to Roman. He looks so tired, too, but also just… flat. Like he's had too many emotions today, and his body can't handle more. "I'd really like to get changed before we fall asleep. If… If you think you're up to coming with me…?"

"Don't— We'll talk tomorrow, right?"

Roman gives a small nod, still feeling kind of awful about how he's acted towards Kyle tonight...

They go through the motions of changing the necessary bandages, and Roman tries to be at least neutral, even if he can't seem to manage warm very well right now. Either way, it seems like Kyle doesn't pick up on the continued withdrawal or chooses not to acknowledged it, which is good enough for Roman right now. He'll have to come up with a proper way to apologize without explaining...

"Can you come over for dinner tomorrow evening? We can eat outside." Bryce asks when Kyle starts packing up.

Kyle looks up sharply, swallowing awkwardly. "Uh…Yeah. Yeah, I can— We can do that."

It seems like he really doesn't want to, though... Roman wonders how much of that, if any, is because of him...

"Seven," Bryce says. "And— You're staying at the house?"

Kyle makes a face. "Yeah, I guess I am."

Bryce nods, "See you tomorrow."

Roman gives a small, muted nod at Kyle as he leaves, too, in thanks and farewell.

As Kyle heads out the door, Bryce turns to Roman. "I'd really like to get changed before we fall asleep. If… If you think you're up to coming with me…?"

Bryce sounds like he's hesitant to ask... Is that because he's really concerned about whether Roman is up to it? Or because he doesn't want Roman to go with him.

"It's been a long day," Bryce says gently. "For everyone." He's going to have to get an account of just what happened, from both Boss and Kyle, and try to triangulate the truth from both sets of stories. Lies, on Boss' part. Omissions, on Kyle's.

"Yeah," Kyle says as he looks up, trying to catch Roman's eye. "Yeah, I'm not— I didn't— Maybe we can talk tomorrow? Just re-bandage tonight?"

"It's been a long day," Bryce says gently. "For everyone."

Well, that's an understatement... Still, Roman is glad for Bryce to make the excuse he couldn't. Roman opens his eyes again, brushing off a stray tear that he didn't manage to suppress.

"Yeah," Kyle says as he looks up. Roman avoids looking at him for a moment before caving and meeting his eye. "Yeah, I'm not— I didn't— Maybe we can talk tomorrow? Just re-bandage tonight?"

Kyle looks down and nods, obviously responding more to the tone than the words. He reaches for his medical bag.

"Do you want—I can change the bandages, now," he offers. Not only his words but his voice itself is unsure.

Kyle looks down and nods, and it's unfortunately obvious that Roman's tone came across as far colder than he meant it to... He didn't intend for it to be rude... He didn't intend for it to be so detached...

"Do you want—I can change the bandages, now," he offers, uncertainty coloring his tone.

"I..." Roman hesitates, kicking himself mentally. How can he fix this..? He really didn't mean to hurt Kyle. He should have known after the way that Kyle came in that it would be all too easy to do, and yet somehow he's managed to, however briefly, push away one of the only two people he has regular contact with that he actually likes.

Roman squeezes his eyes shut, trying not to start crying. Today has just been too much. If he can just get through it, tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow would have to work hard to be worse.

Kyle looks down. He sounds tired when he speaks, "Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense." He sighs, which seems out of place to Bryce. Kyle doesn't usually sigh.

Kyle turns to Roman. "I'm sorry. I'm… I'm a mess. I didn't mean to scare you— But you should know."

Roman is relieved to hear that further discussion will wait until tomorrow.

Kyle looks down, sounding tired as he speaks, "Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense." He sighs.

Kyle turns to Roman. "I'm sorry. I'm… I'm a mess. I didn't mean to scare you— But you should know."

Roman's mind should be processing something about that apology, he's fairly certain. For some reason, though, it decides against his will to go somewhere else entirely.

I didn't mean to scare you, but...

Archer had said that, once. More than once.

Roman doesn't want to think about his brother, but with what happened at the hospital this morning and actually seeing Archer this afternoon, it makes sense that his mind won't stay where it's supposed to be... Probably the first time Archer said that to Roman was when he was explaining how to answer the doctors' questions about their home life...

Roman tries and knows he fails to hide how uncomfortable his thoughts are making him... In personality, Archer and Kyle are wildly different. But there's something in Kyle's mannerisms... in some of the things he says and in the way he says them... It's reminiscent of how Archer used to be when they were younger— when they were together— in his kinder moments...