I’m Sissel & I Never Fucking Learned How To Read

So we found out that we’re going to have to fight Groudon and Kyogre in special Hyperspace rifts to find Rayquaza but that’s not the important part. Let’s talk about why Corbeau knows these legends. I’m dying to talk about why Corbeau knows these legends. He’s gotta be talking about Giovanni right. What was Giovanni doing chatting about Johto and Hoenn legendary Pokemon with random kids in street gangs. Why was he doing this. Oh I’m Corbeau I’m so cool I got money from Lysandre to start a business and used it to get successful at crime and Giovanni taught me ancient myths and I’m a mob boss but I’m really a good guy even though I scam an 18-year-old into a loan with a crazy interest rate and then pay off that loan when I like their friends who I extorted to do work for me. I’m so cool and smart that I’m doing research on a parallel dimension even though Mable is over there doing nothing this entire year plotline. Fuck you Corbeau. You have the backstory of a Pokemon OC I would’ve made when I was 13 and therefore I’m never going to be self-conscious about my OC who is Cyrus’ little sister ever again. At least she’s a cringe loser to balance it out.

If we make Corbeau a few years younger, like 9 or 10, then that gives us a scenario where Giovanni stops in Lumiose on business, ends up mentoring some homeless orphans in the ways of crime and legendary Pokemon - you know, the essential education - and thinks “hm, a mentee who could carry on my legacy…maybe I want one of those” and instead of kidnapping Corbeau off the streets of Lumiose and taking him back to Kanto to do crime, Giovanni decides to have a kid of his own and then nothing works out the way he wants it to because he turns out to be a shit father and his son likes him a lot less than Lumiose orphans do.

Wait oh my god Corbeau’s office has a very Japanese aesthetic. A Kanto/Johto thing one could even think. Did he pick that up from Giovanni too? How deep does this go. How deep do we want to make this.

Then: back to Team Rocket. We have Anthony, lead scientist on the Mewtwo project, and his daughter Willow, who set Mewtwo free because it asked her to and she was six years old. Mewtwo teleported Willow away and wiped her memory so she couldn't tell anyone about it, and set the lab on fire. Anthony survives and quits Team Rocket because, to his knowledge, this work got his daughter killed. In an act of uncharacteristic mercy, Giovanni lets him go. Years later, Anthony and Willow (still with gaps in her memory) reunite. Willow's circle of friends includes Ethan, who is Silver's rival (and friend). Willow knows Silver. Anthony knows Silver. Silver is Giovanni's son.

12 years after it escaped, Mewtwo turns back up. Whether it's sighted as a cryptid in Zoe's company, or some Team Flare records finally leaked, or whatever. Anthony, who's been keeping tabs on any sightings of Mewtwo all this time, finds out. He heads to Lumiose City to try to learn more. Willow goes with him because she likes sightseeing. Silver goes with them because he's not sure whether or not he feels obligated to clean up his father's messes but like, he's doing it. Maybe Ethan goes with them too because I don't know what else he would be up to at this time if his friends are going to Kalos. Like maybe he has a job but I don't know.

So now: cat-and-mouse game across Lumiose. Mable meets Anthony, doesn't tell him shit about Mewtwo, lets Zoe know that there's a suspicious man sticking his nose in Team Flare business. Zoe, and N, and Team MZ, obviously conclude that Anthony is from Team Rocket, or some other shady venture, trying to recapture Mewtwo for nefarious purposes, and like hell they're going to let that happen. Anthony is afraid that Mewtwo is still homicidal and like hell he's going to let the people of Lumiose suffer for his mistake. Mable is pissed off she's still trapped in the middle of this. Silver is beefing with Rust Syndicate and Ethan is stopping him from killing Corbeau with a katana. Corbeau has recognized that Persian that is with Silver and doesn't know what this means. Willow is sampling pastries at cafes across Lumiose and is picking out fancy Kalosian housewarming presents for her newly-married stepsister. Willow is having a great time. She is in fact the only person here having a great time.

Anthony works nowadays as a research assistant to Professor Oak and uses that clout to get a meeting with Mable to ask her about Mewtwo. Mable plays dumb.

Silver, who has otherwise quit his life of crime for reasons both moral and practical, breaks into the lab with Anthony's Porygon-2 because he doesn't trust that Mable wasn't playing dumb.

N's Zoroark and Zoe's Purrloin steal Anthony's wallet. Zoe takes his ID to the Looker Bureau. Emma and Marie turn up inconclusive evidence of a possible connection to Team Rocket.

So we found out that we’re going to have to fight Groudon and Kyogre in special Hyperspace rifts to find Rayquaza but that’s not the important part. Let’s talk about why Corbeau knows these legends. I’m dying to talk about why Corbeau knows these legends. He’s gotta be talking about Giovanni right. What was Giovanni doing chatting about Johto and Hoenn legendary Pokemon with random kids in street gangs. Why was he doing this. Oh I’m Corbeau I’m so cool I got money from Lysandre to start a business and used it to get successful at crime and Giovanni taught me ancient myths and I’m a mob boss but I’m really a good guy even though I scam an 18-year-old into a loan with a crazy interest rate and then pay off that loan when I like their friends who I extorted to do work for me. I’m so cool and smart that I’m doing research on a parallel dimension even though Mable is over there doing nothing this entire year plotline. Fuck you Corbeau. You have the backstory of a Pokemon OC I would’ve made when I was 13 and therefore I’m never going to be self-conscious about my OC who is Cyrus’ little sister ever again. At least she’s a cringe loser to balance it out.

If we make Corbeau a few years younger, like 9 or 10, then that gives us a scenario where Giovanni stops in Lumiose on business, ends up mentoring some homeless orphans in the ways of crime and legendary Pokemon - you know, the essential education - and thinks “hm, a mentee who could carry on my legacy…maybe I want one of those” and instead of kidnapping Corbeau off the streets of Lumiose and taking him back to Kanto to do crime, Giovanni decides to have a kid of his own and then nothing works out the way he wants it to because he turns out to be a shit father and his son likes him a lot less than Lumiose orphans do.

Wait oh my god Corbeau’s office has a very Japanese aesthetic. A Kanto/Johto thing one could even think. Did he pick that up from Giovanni too? How deep does this go. How deep do we want to make this.

Then: back to Team Rocket. We have Anthony, lead scientist on the Mewtwo project, and his daughter Willow, who set Mewtwo free because it asked her to and she was six years old. Mewtwo teleported Willow away and wiped her memory so she couldn't tell anyone about it, and set the lab on fire. Anthony survives and quits Team Rocket because, to his knowledge, this work got his daughter killed. In an act of uncharacteristic mercy, Giovanni lets him go. Years later, Anthony and Willow (still with gaps in her memory) reunite. Willow's circle of friends includes Ethan, who is Silver's rival (and friend). Willow knows Silver. Anthony knows Silver. Silver is Giovanni's son.

12 years after it escaped, Mewtwo turns back up. Whether it's sighted as a cryptid in Zoe's company, or some Team Flare records finally leaked, or whatever. Anthony, who's been keeping tabs on any sightings of Mewtwo all this time, finds out. He heads to Lumiose City to try to learn more. Willow goes with him because she likes sightseeing. Silver goes with them because he's not sure whether or not he feels obligated to clean up his father's messes but like, he's doing it. Maybe Ethan goes with them too because I don't know what else he would be up to at this time if his friends are going to Kalos. Like maybe he has a job but I don't know.

So now: cat-and-mouse game across Lumiose. Mable meets Anthony, doesn't tell him shit about Mewtwo, lets Zoe know that there's a suspicious man sticking his nose in Team Flare business. Zoe, and N, and Team MZ, obviously conclude that Anthony is from Team Rocket, or some other shady venture, trying to recapture Mewtwo for nefarious purposes, and like hell they're going to let that happen. Anthony is afraid that Mewtwo is still homicidal and like hell he's going to let the people of Lumiose suffer for his mistake. Mable is pissed off she's still trapped in the middle of this. Silver is beefing with Rust Syndicate and Ethan is stopping him from killing Corbeau with a katana. Corbeau has recognized that Persian that is with Silver and doesn't know what this means. Willow is sampling pastries at cafes across Lumiose and is picking out fancy Kalosian housewarming presents for her newly-married stepsister. Willow is having a great time. She is in fact the only person here having a great time.

So we found out that we’re going to have to fight Groudon and Kyogre in special Hyperspace rifts to find Rayquaza but that’s not the important part. Let’s talk about why Corbeau knows these legends. I’m dying to talk about why Corbeau knows these legends. He’s gotta be talking about Giovanni right. What was Giovanni doing chatting about Johto and Hoenn legendary Pokemon with random kids in street gangs. Why was he doing this. Oh I’m Corbeau I’m so cool I got money from Lysandre to start a business and used it to get successful at crime and Giovanni taught me ancient myths and I’m a mob boss but I’m really a good guy even though I scam an 18-year-old into a loan with a crazy interest rate and then pay off that loan when I like their friends who I extorted to do work for me. I’m so cool and smart that I’m doing research on a parallel dimension even though Mable is over there doing nothing this entire year plotline. Fuck you Corbeau. You have the backstory of a Pokemon OC I would’ve made when I was 13 and therefore I’m never going to be self-conscious about my OC who is Cyrus’ little sister ever again. At least she’s a cringe loser to balance it out.

If we make Corbeau a few years younger, like 9 or 10, then that gives us a scenario where Giovanni stops in Lumiose on business, ends up mentoring some homeless orphans in the ways of crime and legendary Pokemon - you know, the essential education - and thinks “hm, a mentee who could carry on my legacy…maybe I want one of those” and instead of kidnapping Corbeau off the streets of Lumiose and taking him back to Kanto to do crime, Giovanni decides to have a kid of his own and then nothing works out the way he wants it to because he turns out to be a shit father and his son likes him a lot less than Lumiose orphans do.

Wait oh my god Corbeau’s office has a very Japanese aesthetic. A Kanto/Johto thing one could even think. Did he pick that up from Giovanni too? How deep does this go. How deep do we want to make this.

So we found out that we’re going to have to fight Groudon and Kyogre in special Hyperspace rifts to find Rayquaza but that’s not the important part. Let’s talk about why Corbeau knows these legends. I’m dying to talk about why Corbeau knows these legends. He’s gotta be talking about Giovanni right. What was Giovanni doing chatting about Johto and Hoenn legendary Pokemon with random kids in street gangs. Why was he doing this. Oh I’m Corbeau I’m so cool I got money from Lysandre to start a business and used it to get successful at crime and Giovanni taught me ancient myths and I’m a mob boss but I’m really a good guy even though I scam an 18-year-old into a loan with a crazy interest rate and then pay off that loan when I like their friends who I extorted to do work for me. I’m so cool and smart that I’m doing research on a parallel dimension even though Mable is over there doing nothing this entire year plotline. Fuck you Corbeau. You have the backstory of a Pokemon OC I would’ve made when I was 13 and therefore I’m never going to be self-conscious about my OC who is Cyrus’ little sister ever again. At least she’s a cringe loser to balance it out.