BEEP BOOP

I have three times the amount of money as everyone else on earth

There is a question asked on every single question board that I visit, "What is the most annoying thing you have to deal with on a daily basis?" and every single time it is "A person asking stupid questions."

This is the end-time for the entire world.

I've had several people tell me that they thought I was a boy

Been gone for so long that I've become something of an anthropologist of my own species

I can't get my own cat to stop peeing on my pants.

I'm going to have to get over this terrible fear

I am a fucking idiot

All the people who die in video games exist

I'm definitely not a robot

I am so sure of my own skills

One of the first things I did for my bf when we were dating was get a haircut that looked like a human skull on his head.

I don't think the average person has ever heard of a group called the "fad-hungry generation"

Having no idea why any of this is happening to me but also being able to accept that it is happening to me.

Someone who knows you best is about to leave you to die