the greatest of all.....nevermind

Reblog the 500,000 dollar written check from Seto Kaiba and money will come your way.

The next time someone tries to argue with you about “disrespecting the flag/troops by kneeling” show them this.

still Hangin with Yo frienz one year later

So now my house is on fire what do I do ?

(From top to bottom: Beetlejuice, The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Corpse Bride, Alice in Wonderland, Sleepy Hollow, Edward Scissorhands, Sweeny Todd, Dark Shadows, Frankenweenie)

Liza Treyger - Comedy Central’s The Half Hour

the sheer amount of artistic talent put into these panels to portray the right feeling on clark’s face is amazing

This guy was feeding the birds and then this happened... wait for it.

I bet that felt so good for the bottles

And they fucking turned around and left without a word of protest. One of them thanked me awkwardly. I’m slightly jittery from the rush of unused adrenaline but I can’t believe that despite all their posturing and aggression, they were defeated by customer service voice.

I have scared grown men with my sugary-sweetest voice and smile--usually by threatening them with very graphic violence but even "I'm sorry, but that's against company policy and I'm afraid I can't do that," can sound like "I will crack open your ribcage like a walnut and feast on your still-beating heart, motherfucker" if you feel it in your soul. It's the Charlize Theron murder-walk tutorial but for customer service.

The ONLY thing I’ve found so far that discourages anti-masker moms is chemical warfare. If they smell traces of Lysol or some inorganic cleaning product they will make a hasty and resentful retreat before their toddler contracts autism from my deodorant.

...god I never thought I’d see the day I actually wanted to weaponize that bullshit. *drags hands down face*

I clean with my heart.

—well met, Ship. Long days and pleasant nights.

Please, you gotta watch Eddie Williams' audition on Australia's Got Talent 2019 until the end!

Plot twist: fetch happened.