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synopsis: Kim Taehyung was forbidden the moment your older brother, Namjoon, became friends with him. Falling for Taehyung was something you couldn’t control. He was everything you wanted in a man and more. He met every standard of yours and exceeded them, but you could never bring yourself to confess to him, so you wrote your feelings down in nine letters and kept them in a shoebox. Though, Taehyung always went back to his first love, making you believe that there was no chance for you. You decided it was time to let him go. He could never be yours. That day, you wrote one last letter. Your goodbye letter.
pairing: brother’s best friend!taehyung x fem!reader
genre / warnings: unrequited love, heavy angst, some fluff, strong language, usage of alcohol, reader is a hopeless romantic and an art major!!, taehyung is oblivious as hell, jimin is your biggest supporter, jungkook and reader are so cute (they are bffs fr </3), jimin’s relationship with reader also makes me cry, flashbacks are in italics!
nini’s notes: my first one shot!! this may have a part two depending on how i feel and how well it does!! the letters aspect of this is somewhat inspired by tatbilb!! i really love this, i cried like six times writing this no joke, so i hope you enjoy it :’)!!
word count: 7.7K
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You met Taehyung when you were fifteen. You remembered it as clear as day. You were in a bad mood having received a low score on your math exam. You could never understand the subject, it never made sense to you. You just wanted to go home and lock yourself in your room while you drown in your own self-pity. The big tub of vanilla ice cream that stood in your freezer had your name all over it.
“Namjoon! My ice cream better still be in the freezer! I swear I am not in the mood to deal with you right now, my day is going badly as is!” you shouted as you walked inside your house, shoving off your shoes clumsily. Your cheeks were tinted pink from the frosty weather. The cold weather made your bad mood worse.
Despite winter being your favorite season, today was way too cold and your mood wasn't the brightest. Your fingers reached up to grasp the fabric of your scarf, and you started pulling at it aggressively. An annoyed huff left your lips as you tried to untangle the mess.
“Namjoon!” you shouted again, eyes focused only on removing your scarf, and you didn't notice that there were other people beside your brother in the house. “Did you hear me? I—”
Oh.
Six unfamiliar pairs of eyes stared at you in surprise.
“Uh, Joon?” you squeaked out. Your fingers froze, still tangled with your scarf.
Your brother pinched his nose in exasperation before he flashed his friends an awkward grin, “Sorry, guys. This is my little sister, Y/N. Don't mind her, she's a little crazy in the head sometimes.”
“Yah!” you snapped. A deep chuckle broke through the chaos and your eyes were quick to glance over at the source.
You swore you had never seen such a beautiful man in your life before. He was the embodiment of your type. His beauty made you completely forget about the ridiculous math formulas and the low exam score you received.
You watched as he confidently stood up from the couch and extended his hand, “Hi, I'm Taehyung.”
Hi, I think you're the love of my life. You thought to yourself as you gawked at him.
Your eyes trailed to his outstretched hand, as if it were a foreign thing to you. Namjoon could see Taehyung’s face slowly falling as he realized you weren't reaching out to return his gesture.
Namjoon coughed loudly, breaking you out of your trance. You hurriedly grasped Taehyung’s hand and your knees almost buckled. You've never thought a human hand could fit so perfectly with yours. Your heart thumped faster as a boxy smile appeared on Taehyung’s face.
“Hi.” you breathed out. Taehyung’s smile grew wider and he squeezed your hand before letting it go.
Namjoon raised an eyebrow at your interaction but shrugged it off, “This is Jin and Yoongi hyung, Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook too.” As he listed their names, your eyes trailed over to each boy who gave you a small bow of their head or a smile.
“Hi. Nice to meet you guys.” you awkwardly stated. You nervously shifted in place before sticking your thumb toward the direction of your room. “I'm gonna go—I, yeah.”
You were quick to spin around and scamper away. Your ears picked up the familiar deep chuckle which caused your heart to skip a beat.
That night, you wrote a letter for the first time.
Dear Taehyung,
I think you're an angel who fell from heaven to thaw my frozen heart.
A few years passed, and your crush on Taehyung grew stronger. Out of the boys that Namjoon befriended, you were closest with the youngest three; Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung. That doesn't mean you weren't close with the others. You were just closer in age to the three.
No one knew of your crush except for Jimin. He immediately figured it out when he noticed your eyes seemed to always shine around Taehyung’s presence.
“You like him.” Jimin muttered with wide eyes, his gaze flickering back and forth between you and Taehyung.
You tensed up and choked out a nervous laugh, “What nonsense are you going on about now?”
“Oh, please.” Jimin rolled his eyes. “You can’t put up an act around me. I see right through you.”
“Jimin.” you sighed.
Jimin softened, “Y/N.”
“He can’t know.” Was all you said.
Jimin was quiet for a moment before he spoke, “Can you handle it? Bottling your feelings inside?”
You didn’t answer. Jimin sighed and leaned down to place his head on your shoulder.
Jungkook, on the other hand, was dense and never picked up the small signs. He couldn't even tell if someone liked him or not. Taehyung was similar in that way but he knew enough to pick up the signs when a girl was crushing on him. Yet, when it came to you, he was completely oblivious.
“Hey, are you going to the grad party tonight?” You glanced up from your laptop at the sound of a soft knock on your door. Your roommate, Sunni, had a hopeful look on her face. You weren't exactly a party person and preferred to stay in rather than go out. Sunni could see the distaste on your face already and was quick to blurt out, “Taehyung will be there.”
You gave her a wary stare, but Sunni didn't budge. She raised an eyebrow, “And so will Jimin and Jungkook, y'know our friends, your best friends? Look, it's Jimin and Taehyung’s senior year before they go out in the real world. Are you really going to skip out on their last hurrah?”
Your face fell at that. It was their last year. You and Jungkook were only in your second year so you still had some time before you would graduate.
“Fine, but only because it’s for Jimin and Tae,” you grumbled, which caused Sunni to squeal.
“Come on! We need to find you an outfit!” Sunni was quick to walk to your closet and rummage through your rack of clothes.
“Seriously?” You whined. “I just organized my closet.”
“Relax.” Sunni scoffed, “You’re acting as if I will make a complete mess. I’m a clean freak, you know that, but that’s beside the point. We need to find something sexy but cute.”
“I’m not trying to impress anyone, Sunni.” you snickered as you continued to type out your assignment for your English class.
“You should! You're beautiful, sexy, and smart!” Sunni exclaimed with wide eyes. “Anyone would be lucky to date you!”
You laughed at her statement, “Thanks, Sunni.”
“Now, put your assignment aside for the night.” Sunni grabbed a white lace halter top and a light blue jean skirt. A huge grin appeared on her face, “Because tonight, we're gonna party.”
You sighed fondly, a grin plastered on your face as well.
You needed to let loose tonight.
By the time you and Sunni finished getting ready, the time for the party to start was approaching. The two of you took Sunni’s car and drove to the location of the party. From what Sunni told you on the way there, it was a senior’s house that they recently bought with a couple of other people.
Sunni squealed as the two of you walked toward the entrance, “I'm so excited! You'll have a lot of fun, I promise!”
You merely laughed. You could only hope. Parties and you never mesh well together.
You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and reached back to grab it. A smile appeared on your face seeing that it was a text from Jimin. You didn't tell anyone that you were going as you wanted it to be a surprise.
Jimin: you're here???
You: surprise!! where are you??
Jimin: fuck
You: ???
Jimin: stay by the front door, ill come get you
You: jimin you're scaring me
Jimin left you on read and didn't answer which caused you to furrow your eyebrows anxiously. Your heart was beating rapidly and you glanced up to try to find Jimin. You felt a little calmer when you saw a familiar blonde coming your way.
“Jimin!” you shouted over the loud music, your eyes flickering around his face. “What’s wrong?”
Jimin gave you a pitying look, “If I had known you were coming, I would've warned you.”
“What?” you muttered with knitted brows.
“Lina is here. With Taehyung.”
Oh.
Lina was Taehyung’s first girlfriend. The two had an on-and-off relationship since their freshman year. They would get into arguments, break up, and then get back together in a couple of weeks. Jimin didn't like her nor did the rest of the guys. They all believed Taehyung deserved better and Lina knew the hold she had on him so she would always come back to him because he would too.
“They're back together?” Was all you could bring yourself to say.
Jimin rolled his eyes and took a big sip of alcohol from his cup, “Don't get me started. It's complicated, according to Taehyung. He and I got into a small argument about it and he's ignoring me right now.”
“Tae? Ignoring you?” You gaped at him. Jimin gave you a sad smile and shrugged.
“Maybe you can smack some sense into him, Y/N.” Jimin sighed and his eyes softened, “He just, I don't know, he seems to only listen to you somehow.”
“Don't say that.” you mumbled as you rubbed your forehead.
Jimin shrugged, “It’s true, but anyways, no more of this nonsense. Let's go drink and celebrate me finally graduating.” he grabbed your hand and paused, “And find Jungkook. God knows where that kid is.”
You snorted.
As Jimin guided you through the huge crowd, you subconsciously searched for Taehyung. You believed what Jimin told you but you just wanted to see it for yourself.
Maybe this is your sign to finally move on from him.
You loved him since you were fifteen.
You couldn't do this to yourself anymore.
Just as you were about to step into the kitchen, your eyes met a familiar pair of warm brown eyes. Your breath hitched. Taehyung’s eyes slightly widened upon registering that you were actually there. You noticed he slightly tensed up which caused Lina, who was sitting on his lap, to lean toward him and whisper something.
You gave him a small smile and looked away before he could return it.
“Find me a strong drink, Jimin.”
Jimin glanced back and smirked, “You don't have to tell me twice.”
You and Jimin ventured further into the kitchen and the two of you finally made it to the nearby table where all the drinks were. Coincidentally, you found Jungkook there.
“Y/N!” Jungkook gasped. His eyes lit up in complete joy and he rushed to embrace you, “I thought you said you weren't coming?”
“Yeah, but Sunni managed to convince me.” You smiled and paused, taking a glance around the area, “Who—I don't know where she went.”
“I saw her with her little boyfriend, Jaemin.” Jimin took a sip from his cup. “I think she'll be fine.”
You sighed in relief. You knew she was in good hands at least.
“I could treat her better but whatever.” Jungkook rolled his eyes. He had a slight crush on Sunni but you knew Sunni wasn't really that interested and Jungkook knew that but he liked to joke around about it.
You snorted, “Sure, pal.”
“Thanks, best friend.” Jungkook sarcastically muttered. He turned around and grabbed an unopened can of beer. “Oh! Here. I know you don't like super-strong alcohol.”
“Thanks, Kook.” You gave him a genuine smile, “But, uh, I think I'd be down to drink some of that strong alcohol today.”
Jungkook’s jaw lightly dropped, “Who are you and what have you done to my Y/N?” he paused and frowned, “Wait, who's dying tonight? Who are we killing?” Jimin snorted and you snickered.
Your heart warmed. Jungkook was truly your best friend. “No one, doofus. I just want to let loose tonight.”
Jungkook raised an eyebrow and glanced over at Jimin, who gave him a nod, “Hmmm. . . If you say so.” he passed you his cup, “Take mine. I'll grab a new one.”
“No—it's okay.” You shook your head but Jungkook didn't budge.
“Take the cup. I don't trust anyone here.”
“I agree.” Jimin clicked his tongue and pointed to the cup.
“You guys are too much.” You chuckled but they knew you didn't mean it.
“Yeah, love you too.” Jungkook grinned, “Okay, I'll be right back and we’ll party.”
“Are we going to get Tae?” you asked and Jungkook immediately rolled his eyes.
“Not if he's with her. I'm passing on that.”
Jimin slapped a hand on Jungkook’s shoulders, “It's nice having someone who understands.”
You sighed, “If she makes him happy, we should be happy for him.”
“Dude.” Jungkook deadpanned, “She’s literally the devil reincarnated. Taehyung experiences more sorrow than joy.”
Jimin cackled loudly at that. You opened your mouth to say something but found no words.
“Okay, be right back!” Jungkook turned and went to get a new drink.
“He needs to learn the hard way, Y/N.” Jimin told you once Jungkook was out of earshot.
You didn't answer, merely drowning some alcohol down.
You had a few drinks in you now and you knew you were most definitely buzzed. Your head pounded as you continued to dance with Jimin and Jungkook.
“Wait, guys.” You huffed and stopped in your tracks to hold your head. “I think I'm going to get some water. My head’s killing me.”
The two stopped and gave you a concerned look.
“I'll go with you.” Jimin didn't hesitate to offer but you shook your head and smiled.
“No, no. It's okay. I'll be back quickly.”
Jungkook raised an eyebrow, “You sure?”
“Yeah.” you nodded with a laugh. Jimin reluctantly let you go and you started to make your way through the crowd, muttering apologies as you passed by.
You finally reached the kitchen and grabbed a cold unopened water bottle from the cooler.
“Hey, you're Y/N, right?” You looked up to see a somewhat familiar guy. He looked decently handsome and you recognized him as one of your classmates.
“Oh, hey! Luke, right?”
Luke smiled, “Yeah! I didn't know you were a party type of person. You don't seem like one.”
“Ah.” you chuckled, “I know some of the seniors that this party is for and they're my best friends so I came out to celebrate with them.”
“That’s nice.” Luke grinned before his posture shifted into a more nervous stance, “Uh, this is really random and super out of the blue, but I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me? I think you're really cool.”
Oh wow. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. Luke was handsome but he wasn't really your type. He was quite far from it.
“Oh, I'm sorry.” You gave him a sympathetic smile, “I'm not really interested but you seem like a great guy.”
Almost immediately, Luke’s entire energy changed. His eyes grew dark and a snarky look appeared on his face.
“Whatever. You're not all that anyway.”
“What did you just say?” The two of you turned your heads to see Taehyung glaring harshly at Luke.
“Tae.” you were quick to say, standing up taller to hold him back from potentially throwing a punch.
“No.” Taehyung shook his head and stepped closer to you, his hand reached out to place his palm on your lower back. You tensed up at the touch and glanced up at him with wide eyes.
Taehyung’s eyes darkened as his glare remained on Luke, “I suggest you walk away before I do something I’ll regret.”
Luke scoffed. “What? Is she your girl or something?”
“Yeah.” Taehyung raised a stern brow, “So listen to what I said and walk the fuck away.” You froze.
What?
Luke rolled his eyes and scoffed again, mumbling incoherent phrases under his breath as he walked away.
You continued to stare at Taehyung in shock.
Taehyung quickly glanced down at you and his eyes softened. His brows furrowed in concern, “You okay? He didn't try anything right?”
“No,” you reassured him. “You—You didn't have to do that y'know.”
“I'll always protect you,” Taehyung stated with knitted eyebrows, confused as to why you would say such a thing. “You know that.”
“I know.” You closed your eyes for a brief moment, “I'm talking about me being your girl.”
Taehyung paused. His mouth opened and closed before a sigh left his lips, “It worked, didn't it?”
You pursed your lips, “Yeah, I guess.”
He noticed the water bottle in your hand and glanced back at your face, his eyes flickered around, “You drank a lot tonight, didn't you?” It wasn't really a question, but rather a statement because he knew the answer.
He knew you.
He always did.
“Want me to take you home?” Taehyung asked softly.
“What?” you muttered in disbelief.
“I'm kinda sick of the party already and you look tired. I can take you back to your apartment.” Taehyung shrugged.
You glanced over to the crowd of moving bodies and spotted Jimin and Jungkook who were a part of some dance train. Taehyung followed your stare and exhaled sharply.
“Go.” he nodded his head toward their direction, “Let them know. I can go start the car.” You gave him a hesitant look and he gave you a small smile, “I didn't drink tonight if that's what you're worried about. I wasn't in the mood.”
“Okay.” you sighed and Taehyung grinned. He tapped the tip of your nose before he left. Your heart raced. This was not good for you. So much for trying to move on.
You started to make your way back to Jimin and Jungkook. The two noticed you immediately and cheered.
“Hey!” Jungkook shouted, “What took so long?”
“Some guy hit on me.” you answered before trailing off, “And Taehyung rescued me.” Jimin and Jungkook shared a look.
“He's taking you home now, isn't he?” Jimin questioned and you only gave him a timid smile in response. Jimin sighed and pulled you into his arms, “Let me know when you're home then okay?”
Jungkook pouted and pulled you into a hug after Jimin released you, “Me too. If Taehyung does something, I don't care how long I've known him, I will fight him if something happens to you.”
You laughed. You did not doubt that Jungkook would actually do it.
“I will.” you smiled, “Bye.” The two shared their goodbyes, and you went to find Sunni to let her know you would be leaving too. You spotted her in one of the corners chatting with some people.
“Y/N!” Sunni squealed. She turned to her group, “Guys this is my cutie roommate, Y/N.” You gave her friends a small wave and smiled.
“I just wanted to let you know I'm leaving now,” you informed her, and she gave you a concerned look.
“You're taking an Uber?” Sunni asked.
“No, Tae’s taking me home.”
Sunni raised an eyebrow at that, “Hm. Okay, stay safe, I'll be home soon too.” You nodded and gave her a quick hug before leaving to find Taehyung.
You reached the entrance and grabbed your shoes, putting them on and exiting the party. You were quick to spot Taehyung who was leaning against his car and scrolling through his phone.
At the sound of your footsteps, he glanced up and gave you a grin, “Took you long enough. Did you say bye to everyone in that house? I didn't know you were so popular.”
You rolled your eyes and let out a mocking laugh, “Haha. So funny, but I did, so we can go now.”
Taehyung chuckled and opened the passenger door for you to get in. Your heart warmed at the stupid action. It's the bare minimum, Y/N. Snap out of it.
Once you were inside, Taehyung quickly made it over to the driver’s seat and began to drive out. You buckled your seatbelt as did he and you felt yourself slightly shiver.
“Cold?” Taehyung asked, reaching to adjust the air conditioner already.
“I'm okay, thanks,” you said. A few moments of silence passed before you decided to take a bold step, “So, I heard you're back with Lina?”
Taehyung sighed. His grip on the steering wheel tightened, “No. It's just—complicated.”
“Isn't it always?” you huffed softly which made him crack a smile.
“Well.” you decided to change the subject as it seemed like Taehyung didn't really want to talk about his situation with Lina, “You're graduating soon, what are you gonna do after?”
“I don't even know.” Taehyung laughed softly, “Maybe apply to work at some art museum. I've always loved art.”
“And you're also really good at creating art,” you interjected.
Taehyung glanced over at you and grinned. He turned back to the road and shook his head fondly. “You're too kind Y/N.”
“I’m serious!” you whined. “You should really sell your art. I know I would buy it!”
“You're just saying that because you already know me.”
“I would buy your art in a heartbeat even if you were a complete stranger to me.” you were quick to snap back. Taehyung peered back at you for a brief moment and smiled.
“What would I do without my biggest supporter, huh?”
“Probably not know how to survive in this chaotic world.” you joked.
Taehyung paused for a second before a soft smile grew on his face. He looked over at you and a breathy laugh left his lips, “Yeah. True. I wouldn't.”
You fell quiet. The sound that only you could hear was the thunderous pounding of your heart beating against your rib cage.
That night after Taehyung dropped you off at your apartment and made sure you had everything you needed. You wrote your sixth letter.
Dear Taehyung,
I told myself I would finally work on getting over you, but tonight, you just had to go and mess it all up for me. You set me back to square one. I'm scared.
Time flew by and now you were a senior. You still kept in contact with Jimin after he graduated but with Taehyung, you slowly lost contact with him. It hurt when it happened, but you realized maybe this was a blessing from the universe, it had given you a chance to finally move on.
“Hey! You ready?” The sound of Jungkook’s voice broke you from your thoughts. A huge smile grew on your face at the sight of him. His outfit mirrored yours, a red cap and gown, and his neck adorned with numerous medals and cords.
“Hey, fellow grad.” you laughed. Jungkook chuckled and rolled his eyes playfully. “Yeah, I'm ready. We're starting soon?”
“Yeah. So get your valedictorian ass up on that stage already.” Jungkook clicked his tongue, nodding his head toward the stage.
“Says you salutatorian.” You snorted and linked your arms with his.
Jungkook scoffed and nudged you, “Can't believe you beat my ass by one point.”
You stuck your tongue out at him which caused him to nudge you a little harder. You laughed loudly and the two of you made it onto the stage. You both took your seats as the president of your university walked up to the podium.
You glanced out in the crowd, taking in the faces of your fellow peers and friends. A smile appeared on your face when you spotted Sunni in the crowd. The girl gave you a wink that made you let out a quiet chuckle.
You hear the president introducing Jungkook as salutatorian which signaled that he would go up to present his speech.
“Wish me luck.” Jungkook whispered and you gave him a bright grin and two thumbs up.
“You got this. Make me proud, Kook.”
Jungkook chuckled and walked up to the podium. His speech almost made you cry but you held it in. You couldn't cry right before you would present your own speech.
“And finally, my greatest gratitude goes to my ride or die, Y/N L/N. Without her, I genuinely would've not survived these past four years. She's my confidant and best friend. She pushed me to be the best version of myself and I'm so thankful that I have someone like her in my life. So, Y/N, valedictorian of this wonderful class, it's your turn to be the tearjerker.” The crowd laughed loudly and you giggled as you stood up to walk to the podium.
You pulled Jungkook into a tight hug and Jungkook gripped you tighter. You rubbed his back and whispered, “Love you.”
“Love you more.” he whispered back before the two of you pulled apart. His eyes were glistening with tears and you cooed which made him scoff. You laughed before taking his spot at the podium.
You sighed deeply into the microphone before a smile appeared on your face, “Good morning, faculty and students. Today is the day. The day we all close our books and write a new one. It's definitely scary to step into a chaotic world without knowing what is actually waiting out there for us but I know how all of you are. You're strong, bright, and determined. You’re all hard workers and today is proof of that.”
Your eyes flickered around the crowd and you noticed your parents beaming with pride. Namjoon was right beside them, tears visible in his eyes and you almost wanted to burst out laughing. He swore he wouldn't cry and yet here he was, not keeping his word. You notice the boys standing with him too. Yoongi, Jin, Hobi, and Jimin. Your heart cracked at the sight of no Taehyung. Maybe he's late.
He promised he would come to your graduation.
“When you graduate, I'll make sure to be the loudest there.” Taehyung placed his pinky out in front of you.
“Really?” you snickered and raised an inquisitive brow.
Taehyung grinned widely, “Scout’s honor.”
You laughed and intertwined your pinky with his. Taehyung's smile grew wider and he tapped your nose with his pointer finger causing your heart to warm.
You cleared your throat and focused back on the crowd of students in front of you. You inhaled sharply before continuing your speech, “In life, there are things and people you must keep and let go of. To those who stood with you through thick and thin, never scared to go against the odds that were against you, keep them. People like them are very hard to come by.” The crowd laughed in agreement. You cracked a smile.
“And sometimes you have to let go of those who mattered most even when it's the complete opposite of what you want. I want you to know that it's okay. It's a part of the cycle. Continue on and bloom. You live only once and you must make the most of it. You can't be the reason or let anyone be the reason why you're held back from greatness. So when you leave today, choose yourself. Choose happiness, choose love, and choose to do what makes you happy. It's okay to be selfish so live for yourself.” The auditorium erupted in claps and cheers and you swore you could hear a loud sniffle behind you. You immediately knew it was Jungkook.
“And I want you to know that you’ll always have a friend in me. You call, I run. So my fellow graduates, today we cheer for us and for our beautiful futures. Congratulations, you finished the first half of your journey. Keep soaring.” You smiled brightly and everyone in the audience stood up and cheered deafeningly.
The top ten of your class were first to walk the stage which included you and Jungkook. Then one by one, every student walked across the stage with their degree. After the president of your university shared his farewells and thanks, the students dispersed to their respective families.
“My baby!” your mother cried out as she rushed toward you. You groaned affectionately when she reached up to cup your cheeks. “I'm so proud of you!”
“Thank you, Mom.” You laughed.
Your dad sniffed and wiped a tear that fell down his face. “I can't believe how grown you are now.”
“Yeah, can you go back to that kid who would always trail after me?” Namjoon walked up to you with a tearful smile and you scoffed. He pulled you into a tight hug which made you let out an ‘oof’ sound. “I'm serious. Can you go back?”
“Love you too, Joon.” You patted his back and he sniffled on your shoulders which caused you to snort. The two of you pulled away and Jin walked up to you with a proud smile.
“Congrats, Y/Nie!” Jin cheered and he pinched your cheeks.
“Jin!” You whined and rubbed your face. Jin snickered at your reaction.
“Congratulations, Y/N.” Yoongi smiled and you beamed.
“Thanks, Yoongi!”
“Congrats! I got you this flower lei!” Hobi sent you a heart-shaped smile. You gasped and bent your head down slightly so he could place the lei around your neck.
“It's so beautiful! Thanks, Hobi!”
“Where’s my lei at?” You hear Jungkook let out a scandalized gasp from behind you.
“Jungkookie! Congrats, sweetie!” your mom cheered as she gushed over him. Jungkook’s cheeks burned red and he grew bashful.
“Ah, thank you, Auntie.” Jungkook gave her a soft smile.
Your dad slapped a hand on his shoulders and gave him a grin, “Congrats, kid.” Jungkook beamed and thanked him as well. Everyone followed in congratulating him and you chuckled at the sight.
“There's my favorite girl.” You turned to see Jimin beaming at you happily. You squealed and rushed to hug him.
“I missed you so much,” you muttered into his shoulders. Jimin chuckled and squeezed you tightly.
“I missed you more.”
“Taehyung?” you whispered so that only you and Jimin could hear. He gave you a sad smile and shook his head.
Your face fell, “He’s really not here?”
“I’m sorry, Y/Nie.” Jimin mumbled sadly.
Your heart dropped to your stomach. You thought he was probably just late but to know that he just never attended broke you.
“It’s okay.” You gave him a light smile. “I’m just happy you were able to come. I know how busy you've been with work and traveling.”
Jimin blew out a breath and shook his head, “I love my job but it is so exhausting with the constant business meetings.” You laughed at that.
“So, Y/Nie.” Jin wrapped his arm around your shoulders and you turned to see that everyone was surrounding you and Jimin. “I heard you're moving abroad?”
Your dad grinned at that, pride was clear on his face, “Y/N here got a really big offer to manage this art museum in Paris. I think it's called the Louvre.”
“You're moving to Paris?” Jungkook gaped at you in shock and you winced, “And working at the Louvre?”
“Surprise?” you sheepishly said. Your mom slapped your dad on the arm which caused a guilty look to appear on his face. “I was going to reveal it at our celebration party but Dad here got too excited.”
“Hey! I'm a proud father, okay?” your dad defended himself. Everyone laughed.
“I know I don't say it a lot, but I'm really proud of you, Y/N.” Namjoon smiled, his dimples poking from his cheeks.
You pouted and you felt yourself tear up. “Don't say that, I'm going to cry now.”
Namjoon laughed loudly and pulled you into an embrace.
“Okay, let's go party now please!” Jungkook pleaded and you rolled your eyes with a snort.
“Yeah, let's go.”
You were all back at your family’s house and it was surrounded by family and friends. You spent a lot of time mingling but you needed a breather. So you were currently sitting on the balcony from your room.
“Y/N?” You turned to see Jimin at the entrance of your room. He smiled at you, “Thought I’d find you here. Can I come in?”
You gave him a small grin and nod. You turned back to stare out at the night sky and sighed. You felt Jimin taking a seat beside you. The sound of the breeze and the chittering of insects was heard through the peaceful silence.
“He tried to come.” Jimin muttered.
You swallowed, “What happened?”
“Lina.”
You scoffed.
“They're back together? Again?”
“I don't know.” Jimin breathed out.
You took a large sip from your cup and rubbed your eyes, “I’m tired, Jimin.”
“I know.” he whispered.
“I can't keep going on like this.”
“Then why do you?”
A shaky sigh left your lips, “Because somewhere inside of me, I believe that maybe there is a chance. Maybe everything he's done for me was because it was in his interest in me. Why would he pretend that I was his girl that one night? Why is he always the first one to my rescue when I need saving? Why, Jimin, why?”
“I don't know why,” Jimin answered softly. “But what I know is that a few months after our graduation, he stopped trying to stay in contact with you.”
You got quiet and you turned to face him, "How do you know that?”
He cracked a sad smile, “Because he always asks me how you are.” You froze. “And whenever I ask why can't he ask you himself, he gets quiet.”
Your breath hitched and you felt your eyes sting with tears. You were quick to glance away from Jimin and stare back out at the sky. The moon seemed to shine brighter all of a sudden.
“What happened to you two?” Jimin asked quietly.
A few moments of silence passed.
“We grew up,” you answered. “I grew up. I think I stopped trying.”
Jimin hummed. “I’m proud of you. Really.”
You cracked a smile at that.
“Will you ever give him your letters?” Jimin questioned faintly.
You were quiet for a while. Your letters were sacred to you. It contained every honest and raw feeling you had for Taehyung. Maybe this whole time you could never move on was because you still held on to those letters. Maybe the key was to let them go. If you give it to him, you'll finally move on.
You turned to Jimin, “I think I will.” Jimin gave you a surprise look, “I think I will finally be able to let go of him if I do it.”
“Besides, I won't have to face him any time soon.”
Jimin looked at you confused now.
You sighed, “I leave tomorrow. First thing in the morning.”
Jimin’s eyes widened, “Y/N.”
“I know.” you exhaled sharply. “But this is what I worked for my whole life. This is it.”
“Everyone knows?” Jimin asked.
“Only my parents and Joon right now. I plan to tell the others later when I go back down.” You replied.
The sound of Namjoon yelling Jimin’s name from downstairs was heard which caused the two of you to look toward your bedroom door.
“Someone’s being called.” you snickered.
Jimin sighed and chuckled lightly. He got up from his seat and gave you a reassuring smile. “I’m here for you through everything, okay?”
You smiled back and nodded, “Thanks.”
Jimin winked and turned to leave but stopped when you called out to him.
“Hey, Jimin?” He gave you a confused look. “Do you think you can give the letters to Tae?” his eyes softened and he nodded.
“Yeah, I can do that.”
“Thank you.” you breathed. Jimin gave you one last smile before leaving.
You felt your phone vibrate and you saw that it was a text from Taehyung. Your heart dropped. The two of you hadn’t texted in months.
Taehyung: i’m sorry i wasn’t at your graduation, i tried really hard to. congratulations y/n, i’m proud of you :)
A lump formed in your throat and you felt your eyes well up with tears. You decided to ignore his text and face the night sky again.
That night, you wrote your goodbye to Taehyung.
Taehyung,
I graduated today and you weren't there. I read your text and I chose to ignore it.. I think if I answered I would’ve lost all the progress I made. I think this is for the best anyway. I spent the better half of my teenage years in love with you and that journey taught me a lot. You taught me a lot. Even though we don't talk anymore, you're still one of the most important people in my life.
Goodbye Taehyung,
I'll always love you.
It was the next day, and you had to leave for your job now. Everyone was at the airport, teary-eyed but filled with happiness. You took in everyone’s faces and pouted.
“I'm going to miss you all so much.” you cried and rushed to try and hug everyone. Your mother cooed and caressed your hair as she tried to calm you down but it didn't really help. Your sobs were muffled against Namjoon's shoulders and you could hear that he was crying too. You pulled back, eyes brimming with tears.
“Okay, no more tears please.” Jungkook sniffled. He used the end of his sleeve to wipe any stray tears and gave you a sad frown, “I’m mad that you're leaving me but happy for you because you're achieving your dreams.”
You laughed tearfully and pulled the taller man into a hug. He was quick to squeeze you tightly.
One by one, you hugged everyone one last time. Namjoon sported a proud grin but his red eyes gave away his true emotions which made your heart break. He was your big brother and seeing your little sister leaving wasn't easy. Jin, and surprisingly, Yoongi looked about the same as Namjoon. Hobi was a complete mess, sniffling into his tissue every now and then. Jimin looked like he was about to break down but he held it in pretty well.
You hugged Jimin last and the blonde man made sure to hold you tighter and longer. When you pulled back, you handed him a stack of sealed letters that were tied with a red string. Jimin immediately recognized what they were and gave you a sad smile.
“Thank you.” Your voice cracked.
“Of course.” Jimin muttered back before hugging you again. You breathed out a shaky sigh and squeezed him.
The two of you broke apart and you gave everyone a small smile before slowly departing. Once your back was turned toward them, your heart grew heavier.
This will be good for you. This is what you need.
Jimin hasn't seen Taehyung in a while. The two of them were quite busy, Jimin with the numerous meetings with different businessmen and Taehyung being the head of managing a renowned art museum.
The two were still close but not as much as they were in college, especially now that Taehyung was back together with Lina. They rarely ever talk now.
For you though, Jimin had to break the silence. He had to. It was for your own well-being. You deserved better and he wanted to make sure you would.
Jimin was in front of Taehyung’s apartment door and with a sigh, he knocked. A few minutes went by before the door opened. Taehyung’s eyebrows rose in surprise at the sight of Jimin.
“Jimin.” Taehyung breathed out. “Hi! Uh—come in.” he stepped aside for the blonde to walk in and Jimin gave him a tight-lipped smile as he stepped inside.
“Lina’s not here is she?” Jimin cleared his throat.
Taehyung inhaled sharply and shook his head, “No. It’s over between us.”
“Really?” Jimin sarcastically laughed. His eyes were dark with anger, “You sure? Because I’ve heard that phrase a million times now.”
Taehyung sighed and clenched his jaw, “I’m serious. It’s over.”
“You missed her graduation.” Jimin snapped.
“I know.” Taehyung retorted harshly. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and rubbed his face, “I’ve been beating myself over it since last night, okay? Lina completely fucked me over and I couldn't get out of the plans she made because it was a done deal. I got even more pissed finding out that she purposely made the plans on Y/N and Jungkook’s graduation so I would miss it.”
Jimin’s lips parted in shock. His eyes softened and any fury in his body vanished.
“What are you doing here anyway?” Taehyung muttered tiredly, “We haven't talked in forever and I know it's awkward between us right now.”
“Y/N.” Jimin answered.
Taehyung froze.
“What about her?” Taehyung muttered softly. His voice dropped to that particular tone that he always spoke in whenever he talked about you.
Jimin didn't respond. He merely grabbed something from his back pocket and handed it to Taehyung.
Taehyung’s eyebrows furrowed together at the stack of letters in Jimin’s hands. He hesitantly reached out to grab it and his heart dropped at the familiar handwriting.
Taehyung. His name was written in a beautiful elegant cursive. He knew this was you.
“What is this?” Taehyung choked out.
“Just—” Jimin sighed, “Just read it.”
Taehyung swallowed harshly before he slowly opened the first letter on top of the stack. A neatly folded paper was in the envelope and he gradually unfolded it.
His eyes trailed over the words.
May 3rd, 2012.
That was the day you two met.
Dear Taehyung,
I think you're an angel who fell from heaven to thaw my frozen heart.
Taehyung’s breath hitched.
His eyes frantically read the words over and over again.
He moved to the next letter.
Dear Taehyung,
Is this love? I think it is. I always hear the birds singing louder whenever you're near. Maybe I'm just crazy, but maybe I'm not. Because I swear every time you smile at me, my heart jumps into the shape of your smile.
Taehyung’s eyes started to burn.
Dear Taehyung,
You're the only person who doesn't make me feel like I'm alone. I love Jimin and Jungkook but sometimes I don't think they understand me. Thank you for being that person for me. I don't know what I would do without you. I'm scared, Taehyung. I think I'm falling harder.
A shaky breath left Taehyung’s lips and he felt like his knees were about to buckle.
Dear Taehyung,
Today was the worst and best day ever for me. I hated going on the roller coasters but your encouragement pushed me not to be scared. You made today fun. You always knew how to make me feel better, and that still scares me. I don't think I can ever shake you out of my system.
Taehyung let out a choked cry as his knees started to quiver. Jimin started to tear up at the distraught sight of him.
Dear Taehyung,
You left for college today. I cried two times after you and Jimin said goodbye. I hope college treats you well. I know you will do amazing things and I can't wait to hear about them. Remember that I'll always be in your corner! Fighting!
Taehyung felt himself drop to the floor. A trembling whimper left him as he read the next letter.
Dear Taehyung,
I told myself I would finally work on getting over you, but tonight, you just had to go and mess it all up for me. You set me back to square one. I'm scared.
The hole in Taehyung’s chest grew. His vision started to get blurry as he continued to read.
Dear Taehyung,
I think I am completely and irrevocably in love with you. Every time you laugh, my heart turns into a mess. Every time you tap my nose, my heart decides it's only you. I'm really scared now. What should I do, Taehyung? You've wrecked me entirely.
A stifled sob escaped Taehyung. His head hurts now and his heart burns.
Dear Taehyung,
It's been a few months since you graduated now and I miss you. A lot. You're a big manager at your dream art museum now and I couldn't be more happier for you! I still think you should sell your art and I hope you do one day! Maybe, I'll work at the Louvre and your art will be displayed!
A few tears fell onto the next letter and Taehyung felt his heart drop at the first few words.
Dear Taehyung,
My graduation is coming up and I'm valedictorian. Jungkook is super salty over it but I hope you're proud of me! We haven't talked in months now and I tried keeping in contact but I guess our lives just got too busy. I miss when we were careless kids laughing over stupid things. I got a job offer at the Louvre too! Crazy, right?! It was a big surprise for me but I'm super happy! I hope to see you at my graduation and tell you all about it! Love you. Miss you.
Taehyung leaned back against his couch and let out a shaky breath. His hand came up to wipe away his tears.
Taehyung,
I graduated today and you weren't there. I read your text and I chose to ignore it.. I think if I answered I would’ve lost all the progress I made. I think this is for the best anyway. I spent the better half of my teenage years in love with you and that journey taught me a lot. You taught me a lot. Even though we don't talk anymore, you're still one of the most important people in my life.
Goodbye Taehyung,
I'll always love you.
This was the last letter and Taehyung knew this was it. He noticed there was no ‘Dear’. You had let him go. Taehyung grasped at his chest and cried. Jimin, who stood watching him, quietly sniffled, his heart clenching in pain for his friend.
“She kept looking for you at her graduation.” Jimin revealed gently.
That didn't help Taehyung at all, it only caused him to cry harder. He glanced up at Jimin with swollen eyes, “Where is she?”
Jimin was quiet.
Taehyung grew anxious. He felt his eyes sting, “Jimin. Where is she?”
“She’s gone, Tae.” Jimin quietly replied, “She left for Paris.”
Taehyung felt his whole world collapse.
You were right there in front of him this whole time and he was so blind.
oh youre JOKING !! everyone go support my best friend !! a good friend of mine for many years 😙 SHE HAS JOINED BANGTUMBLR FINALLY !! i will be reading this tonight and you guys better too 🙂↕️ she doesnt disappoint in anything she creates !!
synopsis: Kim Taehyung was forbidden the moment your older brother, Namjoon, became friends with him. Falling for Taehyung was something you couldn’t control. He was everything you wanted in a man and more. He met every standard of yours and exceeded them, but you could never bring yourself to confess to him, so you wrote your feelings down in nine letters and kept them in a shoebox. Though, Taehyung always went back to his first love, making you believe that there was no chance for you. You decided it was time to let him go. He could never be yours. That day, you wrote one last letter. Your goodbye letter.
pairing: brother’s best friend!taehyung x fem!reader
genre / warnings: unrequited love, heavy angst, some fluff, strong language, usage of alcohol, reader is a hopeless romantic and an art major!!, taehyung is oblivious as hell, jimin is your biggest supporter, jungkook and reader are so cute (they are bffs fr </3), jimin’s relationship with reader also makes me cry, flashbacks are in italics!
nini’s notes: my first one shot!! this may have a part two depending on how i feel and how well it does!! the letters aspect of this is somewhat inspired by tatbilb!! i really love this, i cried like six times writing this no joke, so i hope you enjoy it :’)!!
word count: 7.7K
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You met Taehyung when you were fifteen. You remembered it as clear as day. You were in a bad mood having received a low score on your math exam. You could never understand the subject, it never made sense to you. You just wanted to go home and lock yourself in your room while you drown in your own self-pity. The big tub of vanilla ice cream that stood in your freezer had your name all over it.
“Namjoon! My ice cream better still be in the freezer! I swear I am not in the mood to deal with you right now, my day is going badly as is!” you shouted as you walked inside your house, shoving off your shoes clumsily. Your cheeks were tinted pink from the frosty weather. The cold weather made your bad mood worse.
Despite winter being your favorite season, today was way too cold and your mood wasn't the brightest. Your fingers reached up to grasp the fabric of your scarf, and you started pulling at it aggressively. An annoyed huff left your lips as you tried to untangle the mess.
“Namjoon!” you shouted again, eyes focused only on removing your scarf, and you didn't notice that there were other people beside your brother in the house. “Did you hear me? I—”
Oh.
Six unfamiliar pairs of eyes stared at you in surprise.
“Uh, Joon?” you squeaked out. Your fingers froze, still tangled with your scarf.
Your brother pinched his nose in exasperation before he flashed his friends an awkward grin, “Sorry, guys. This is my little sister, Y/N. Don't mind her, she's a little crazy in the head sometimes.”
“Yah!” you snapped. A deep chuckle broke through the chaos and your eyes were quick to glance over at the source.
You swore you had never seen such a beautiful man in your life before. He was the embodiment of your type. His beauty made you completely forget about the ridiculous math formulas and the low exam score you received.
You watched as he confidently stood up from the couch and extended his hand, “Hi, I'm Taehyung.”
Hi, I think you're the love of my life. You thought to yourself as you gawked at him.
Your eyes trailed to his outstretched hand, as if it were a foreign thing to you. Namjoon could see Taehyung’s face slowly falling as he realized you weren't reaching out to return his gesture.
Namjoon coughed loudly, breaking you out of your trance. You hurriedly grasped Taehyung’s hand and your knees almost buckled. You've never thought a human hand could fit so perfectly with yours. Your heart thumped faster as a boxy smile appeared on Taehyung’s face.
“Hi.” you breathed out. Taehyung’s smile grew wider and he squeezed your hand before letting it go.
Namjoon raised an eyebrow at your interaction but shrugged it off, “This is Jin and Yoongi hyung, Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook too.” As he listed their names, your eyes trailed over to each boy who gave you a small bow of their head or a smile.
“Hi. Nice to meet you guys.” you awkwardly stated. You nervously shifted in place before sticking your thumb toward the direction of your room. “I'm gonna go—I, yeah.”
You were quick to spin around and scamper away. Your ears picked up the familiar deep chuckle which caused your heart to skip a beat.
That night, you wrote a letter for the first time.
Dear Taehyung,
I think you're an angel who fell from heaven to thaw my frozen heart.
A few years passed, and your crush on Taehyung grew stronger. Out of the boys that Namjoon befriended, you were closest with the youngest three; Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung. That doesn't mean you weren't close with the others. You were just closer in age to the three.
No one knew of your crush except for Jimin. He immediately figured it out when he noticed your eyes seemed to always shine around Taehyung’s presence.
“You like him.” Jimin muttered with wide eyes, his gaze flickering back and forth between you and Taehyung.
You tensed up and choked out a nervous laugh, “What nonsense are you going on about now?”
“Oh, please.” Jimin rolled his eyes. “You can’t put up an act around me. I see right through you.”
“Jimin.” you sighed.
Jimin softened, “Y/N.”
“He can’t know.” Was all you said.
Jimin was quiet for a moment before he spoke, “Can you handle it? Bottling your feelings inside?”
You didn’t answer. Jimin sighed and leaned down to place his head on your shoulder.
Jungkook, on the other hand, was dense and never picked up the small signs. He couldn't even tell if someone liked him or not. Taehyung was similar in that way but he knew enough to pick up the signs when a girl was crushing on him. Yet, when it came to you, he was completely oblivious.
“Hey, are you going to the grad party tonight?” You glanced up from your laptop at the sound of a soft knock on your door. Your roommate, Sunni, had a hopeful look on her face. You weren't exactly a party person and preferred to stay in rather than go out. Sunni could see the distaste on your face already and was quick to blurt out, “Taehyung will be there.”
You gave her a wary stare, but Sunni didn't budge. She raised an eyebrow, “And so will Jimin and Jungkook, y'know our friends, your best friends? Look, it's Jimin and Taehyung’s senior year before they go out in the real world. Are you really going to skip out on their last hurrah?”
Your face fell at that. It was their last year. You and Jungkook were only in your second year so you still had some time before you would graduate.
“Fine, but only because it’s for Jimin and Tae,” you grumbled, which caused Sunni to squeal.
“Come on! We need to find you an outfit!” Sunni was quick to walk to your closet and rummage through your rack of clothes.
“Seriously?” You whined. “I just organized my closet.”
“Relax.” Sunni scoffed, “You’re acting as if I will make a complete mess. I’m a clean freak, you know that, but that’s beside the point. We need to find something sexy but cute.”
“I’m not trying to impress anyone, Sunni.” you snickered as you continued to type out your assignment for your English class.
“You should! You're beautiful, sexy, and smart!” Sunni exclaimed with wide eyes. “Anyone would be lucky to date you!”
You laughed at her statement, “Thanks, Sunni.”
“Now, put your assignment aside for the night.” Sunni grabbed a white lace halter top and a light blue jean skirt. A huge grin appeared on her face, “Because tonight, we're gonna party.”
You sighed fondly, a grin plastered on your face as well.
You needed to let loose tonight.
By the time you and Sunni finished getting ready, the time for the party to start was approaching. The two of you took Sunni’s car and drove to the location of the party. From what Sunni told you on the way there, it was a senior’s house that they recently bought with a couple of other people.
Sunni squealed as the two of you walked toward the entrance, “I'm so excited! You'll have a lot of fun, I promise!”
You merely laughed. You could only hope. Parties and you never mesh well together.
You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and reached back to grab it. A smile appeared on your face seeing that it was a text from Jimin. You didn't tell anyone that you were going as you wanted it to be a surprise.
Jimin: you're here???
You: surprise!! where are you??
Jimin: fuck
You: ???
Jimin: stay by the front door, ill come get you
You: jimin you're scaring me
Jimin left you on read and didn't answer which caused you to furrow your eyebrows anxiously. Your heart was beating rapidly and you glanced up to try to find Jimin. You felt a little calmer when you saw a familiar blonde coming your way.
“Jimin!” you shouted over the loud music, your eyes flickering around his face. “What’s wrong?”
Jimin gave you a pitying look, “If I had known you were coming, I would've warned you.”
“What?” you muttered with knitted brows.
“Lina is here. With Taehyung.”
Oh.
Lina was Taehyung’s first girlfriend. The two had an on-and-off relationship since their freshman year. They would get into arguments, break up, and then get back together in a couple of weeks. Jimin didn't like her nor did the rest of the guys. They all believed Taehyung deserved better and Lina knew the hold she had on him so she would always come back to him because he would too.
“They're back together?” Was all you could bring yourself to say.
Jimin rolled his eyes and took a big sip of alcohol from his cup, “Don't get me started. It's complicated, according to Taehyung. He and I got into a small argument about it and he's ignoring me right now.”
“Tae? Ignoring you?” You gaped at him. Jimin gave you a sad smile and shrugged.
“Maybe you can smack some sense into him, Y/N.” Jimin sighed and his eyes softened, “He just, I don't know, he seems to only listen to you somehow.”
“Don't say that.” you mumbled as you rubbed your forehead.
Jimin shrugged, “It’s true, but anyways, no more of this nonsense. Let's go drink and celebrate me finally graduating.” he grabbed your hand and paused, “And find Jungkook. God knows where that kid is.”
You snorted.
As Jimin guided you through the huge crowd, you subconsciously searched for Taehyung. You believed what Jimin told you but you just wanted to see it for yourself.
Maybe this is your sign to finally move on from him.
You loved him since you were fifteen.
You couldn't do this to yourself anymore.
Just as you were about to step into the kitchen, your eyes met a familiar pair of warm brown eyes. Your breath hitched. Taehyung’s eyes slightly widened upon registering that you were actually there. You noticed he slightly tensed up which caused Lina, who was sitting on his lap, to lean toward him and whisper something.
You gave him a small smile and looked away before he could return it.
“Find me a strong drink, Jimin.”
Jimin glanced back and smirked, “You don't have to tell me twice.”
You and Jimin ventured further into the kitchen and the two of you finally made it to the nearby table where all the drinks were. Coincidentally, you found Jungkook there.
“Y/N!” Jungkook gasped. His eyes lit up in complete joy and he rushed to embrace you, “I thought you said you weren't coming?”
“Yeah, but Sunni managed to convince me.” You smiled and paused, taking a glance around the area, “Who—I don't know where she went.”
“I saw her with her little boyfriend, Jaemin.” Jimin took a sip from his cup. “I think she'll be fine.”
You sighed in relief. You knew she was in good hands at least.
“I could treat her better but whatever.” Jungkook rolled his eyes. He had a slight crush on Sunni but you knew Sunni wasn't really that interested and Jungkook knew that but he liked to joke around about it.
You snorted, “Sure, pal.”
“Thanks, best friend.” Jungkook sarcastically muttered. He turned around and grabbed an unopened can of beer. “Oh! Here. I know you don't like super-strong alcohol.”
“Thanks, Kook.” You gave him a genuine smile, “But, uh, I think I'd be down to drink some of that strong alcohol today.”
Jungkook’s jaw lightly dropped, “Who are you and what have you done to my Y/N?” he paused and frowned, “Wait, who's dying tonight? Who are we killing?” Jimin snorted and you snickered.
Your heart warmed. Jungkook was truly your best friend. “No one, doofus. I just want to let loose tonight.”
Jungkook raised an eyebrow and glanced over at Jimin, who gave him a nod, “Hmmm. . . If you say so.” he passed you his cup, “Take mine. I'll grab a new one.”
“No—it's okay.” You shook your head but Jungkook didn't budge.
“Take the cup. I don't trust anyone here.”
“I agree.” Jimin clicked his tongue and pointed to the cup.
“You guys are too much.” You chuckled but they knew you didn't mean it.
“Yeah, love you too.” Jungkook grinned, “Okay, I'll be right back and we’ll party.”
“Are we going to get Tae?” you asked and Jungkook immediately rolled his eyes.
“Not if he's with her. I'm passing on that.”
Jimin slapped a hand on Jungkook’s shoulders, “It's nice having someone who understands.”
You sighed, “If she makes him happy, we should be happy for him.”
“Dude.” Jungkook deadpanned, “She’s literally the devil reincarnated. Taehyung experiences more sorrow than joy.”
Jimin cackled loudly at that. You opened your mouth to say something but found no words.
“Okay, be right back!” Jungkook turned and went to get a new drink.
“He needs to learn the hard way, Y/N.” Jimin told you once Jungkook was out of earshot.
You didn't answer, merely drowning some alcohol down.
You had a few drinks in you now and you knew you were most definitely buzzed. Your head pounded as you continued to dance with Jimin and Jungkook.
“Wait, guys.” You huffed and stopped in your tracks to hold your head. “I think I'm going to get some water. My head’s killing me.”
The two stopped and gave you a concerned look.
“I'll go with you.” Jimin didn't hesitate to offer but you shook your head and smiled.
“No, no. It's okay. I'll be back quickly.”
Jungkook raised an eyebrow, “You sure?”
“Yeah.” you nodded with a laugh. Jimin reluctantly let you go and you started to make your way through the crowd, muttering apologies as you passed by.
You finally reached the kitchen and grabbed a cold unopened water bottle from the cooler.
“Hey, you're Y/N, right?” You looked up to see a somewhat familiar guy. He looked decently handsome and you recognized him as one of your classmates.
“Oh, hey! Luke, right?”
Luke smiled, “Yeah! I didn't know you were a party type of person. You don't seem like one.”
“Ah.” you chuckled, “I know some of the seniors that this party is for and they're my best friends so I came out to celebrate with them.”
“That’s nice.” Luke grinned before his posture shifted into a more nervous stance, “Uh, this is really random and super out of the blue, but I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me? I think you're really cool.”
Oh wow. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. Luke was handsome but he wasn't really your type. He was quite far from it.
“Oh, I'm sorry.” You gave him a sympathetic smile, “I'm not really interested but you seem like a great guy.”
Almost immediately, Luke’s entire energy changed. His eyes grew dark and a snarky look appeared on his face.
“Whatever. You're not all that anyway.”
“What did you just say?” The two of you turned your heads to see Taehyung glaring harshly at Luke.
“Tae.” you were quick to say, standing up taller to hold him back from potentially throwing a punch.
“No.” Taehyung shook his head and stepped closer to you, his hand reached out to place his palm on your lower back. You tensed up at the touch and glanced up at him with wide eyes.
Taehyung’s eyes darkened as his glare remained on Luke, “I suggest you walk away before I do something I’ll regret.”
Luke scoffed. “What? Is she your girl or something?”
“Yeah.” Taehyung raised a stern brow, “So listen to what I said and walk the fuck away.” You froze.
What?
Luke rolled his eyes and scoffed again, mumbling incoherent phrases under his breath as he walked away.
You continued to stare at Taehyung in shock.
Taehyung quickly glanced down at you and his eyes softened. His brows furrowed in concern, “You okay? He didn't try anything right?”
“No,” you reassured him. “You—You didn't have to do that y'know.”
“I'll always protect you,” Taehyung stated with knitted eyebrows, confused as to why you would say such a thing. “You know that.”
“I know.” You closed your eyes for a brief moment, “I'm talking about me being your girl.”
Taehyung paused. His mouth opened and closed before a sigh left his lips, “It worked, didn't it?”
You pursed your lips, “Yeah, I guess.”
He noticed the water bottle in your hand and glanced back at your face, his eyes flickered around, “You drank a lot tonight, didn't you?” It wasn't really a question, but rather a statement because he knew the answer.
He knew you.
He always did.
“Want me to take you home?” Taehyung asked softly.
“What?” you muttered in disbelief.
“I'm kinda sick of the party already and you look tired. I can take you back to your apartment.” Taehyung shrugged.
You glanced over to the crowd of moving bodies and spotted Jimin and Jungkook who were a part of some dance train. Taehyung followed your stare and exhaled sharply.
“Go.” he nodded his head toward their direction, “Let them know. I can go start the car.” You gave him a hesitant look and he gave you a small smile, “I didn't drink tonight if that's what you're worried about. I wasn't in the mood.”
“Okay.” you sighed and Taehyung grinned. He tapped the tip of your nose before he left. Your heart raced. This was not good for you. So much for trying to move on.
You started to make your way back to Jimin and Jungkook. The two noticed you immediately and cheered.
“Hey!” Jungkook shouted, “What took so long?”
“Some guy hit on me.” you answered before trailing off, “And Taehyung rescued me.” Jimin and Jungkook shared a look.
“He's taking you home now, isn't he?” Jimin questioned and you only gave him a timid smile in response. Jimin sighed and pulled you into his arms, “Let me know when you're home then okay?”
Jungkook pouted and pulled you into a hug after Jimin released you, “Me too. If Taehyung does something, I don't care how long I've known him, I will fight him if something happens to you.”
You laughed. You did not doubt that Jungkook would actually do it.
“I will.” you smiled, “Bye.” The two shared their goodbyes, and you went to find Sunni to let her know you would be leaving too. You spotted her in one of the corners chatting with some people.
“Y/N!” Sunni squealed. She turned to her group, “Guys this is my cutie roommate, Y/N.” You gave her friends a small wave and smiled.
“I just wanted to let you know I'm leaving now,” you informed her, and she gave you a concerned look.
“You're taking an Uber?” Sunni asked.
“No, Tae’s taking me home.”
Sunni raised an eyebrow at that, “Hm. Okay, stay safe, I'll be home soon too.” You nodded and gave her a quick hug before leaving to find Taehyung.
You reached the entrance and grabbed your shoes, putting them on and exiting the party. You were quick to spot Taehyung who was leaning against his car and scrolling through his phone.
At the sound of your footsteps, he glanced up and gave you a grin, “Took you long enough. Did you say bye to everyone in that house? I didn't know you were so popular.”
You rolled your eyes and let out a mocking laugh, “Haha. So funny, but I did, so we can go now.”
Taehyung chuckled and opened the passenger door for you to get in. Your heart warmed at the stupid action. It's the bare minimum, Y/N. Snap out of it.
Once you were inside, Taehyung quickly made it over to the driver’s seat and began to drive out. You buckled your seatbelt as did he and you felt yourself slightly shiver.
“Cold?” Taehyung asked, reaching to adjust the air conditioner already.
“I'm okay, thanks,” you said. A few moments of silence passed before you decided to take a bold step, “So, I heard you're back with Lina?”
Taehyung sighed. His grip on the steering wheel tightened, “No. It's just—complicated.”
“Isn't it always?” you huffed softly which made him crack a smile.
“Well.” you decided to change the subject as it seemed like Taehyung didn't really want to talk about his situation with Lina, “You're graduating soon, what are you gonna do after?”
“I don't even know.” Taehyung laughed softly, “Maybe apply to work at some art museum. I've always loved art.”
“And you're also really good at creating art,” you interjected.
Taehyung glanced over at you and grinned. He turned back to the road and shook his head fondly. “You're too kind Y/N.”
“I’m serious!” you whined. “You should really sell your art. I know I would buy it!”
“You're just saying that because you already know me.”
“I would buy your art in a heartbeat even if you were a complete stranger to me.” you were quick to snap back. Taehyung peered back at you for a brief moment and smiled.
“What would I do without my biggest supporter, huh?”
“Probably not know how to survive in this chaotic world.” you joked.
Taehyung paused for a second before a soft smile grew on his face. He looked over at you and a breathy laugh left his lips, “Yeah. True. I wouldn't.”
You fell quiet. The sound that only you could hear was the thunderous pounding of your heart beating against your rib cage.
That night after Taehyung dropped you off at your apartment and made sure you had everything you needed. You wrote your sixth letter.
Dear Taehyung,
I told myself I would finally work on getting over you, but tonight, you just had to go and mess it all up for me. You set me back to square one. I'm scared.
Time flew by and now you were a senior. You still kept in contact with Jimin after he graduated but with Taehyung, you slowly lost contact with him. It hurt when it happened, but you realized maybe this was a blessing from the universe, it had given you a chance to finally move on.
“Hey! You ready?” The sound of Jungkook’s voice broke you from your thoughts. A huge smile grew on your face at the sight of him. His outfit mirrored yours, a red cap and gown, and his neck adorned with numerous medals and cords.
“Hey, fellow grad.” you laughed. Jungkook chuckled and rolled his eyes playfully. “Yeah, I'm ready. We're starting soon?”
“Yeah. So get your valedictorian ass up on that stage already.” Jungkook clicked his tongue, nodding his head toward the stage.
“Says you salutatorian.” You snorted and linked your arms with his.
Jungkook scoffed and nudged you, “Can't believe you beat my ass by one point.”
You stuck your tongue out at him which caused him to nudge you a little harder. You laughed loudly and the two of you made it onto the stage. You both took your seats as the president of your university walked up to the podium.
You glanced out in the crowd, taking in the faces of your fellow peers and friends. A smile appeared on your face when you spotted Sunni in the crowd. The girl gave you a wink that made you let out a quiet chuckle.
You hear the president introducing Jungkook as salutatorian which signaled that he would go up to present his speech.
“Wish me luck.” Jungkook whispered and you gave him a bright grin and two thumbs up.
“You got this. Make me proud, Kook.”
Jungkook chuckled and walked up to the podium. His speech almost made you cry but you held it in. You couldn't cry right before you would present your own speech.
“And finally, my greatest gratitude goes to my ride or die, Y/N L/N. Without her, I genuinely would've not survived these past four years. She's my confidant and best friend. She pushed me to be the best version of myself and I'm so thankful that I have someone like her in my life. So, Y/N, valedictorian of this wonderful class, it's your turn to be the tearjerker.” The crowd laughed loudly and you giggled as you stood up to walk to the podium.
You pulled Jungkook into a tight hug and Jungkook gripped you tighter. You rubbed his back and whispered, “Love you.”
“Love you more.” he whispered back before the two of you pulled apart. His eyes were glistening with tears and you cooed which made him scoff. You laughed before taking his spot at the podium.
You sighed deeply into the microphone before a smile appeared on your face, “Good morning, faculty and students. Today is the day. The day we all close our books and write a new one. It's definitely scary to step into a chaotic world without knowing what is actually waiting out there for us but I know how all of you are. You're strong, bright, and determined. You’re all hard workers and today is proof of that.”
Your eyes flickered around the crowd and you noticed your parents beaming with pride. Namjoon was right beside them, tears visible in his eyes and you almost wanted to burst out laughing. He swore he wouldn't cry and yet here he was, not keeping his word. You notice the boys standing with him too. Yoongi, Jin, Hobi, and Jimin. Your heart cracked at the sight of no Taehyung. Maybe he's late.
He promised he would come to your graduation.
“When you graduate, I'll make sure to be the loudest there.” Taehyung placed his pinky out in front of you.
“Really?” you snickered and raised an inquisitive brow.
Taehyung grinned widely, “Scout’s honor.”
You laughed and intertwined your pinky with his. Taehyung's smile grew wider and he tapped your nose with his pointer finger causing your heart to warm.
You cleared your throat and focused back on the crowd of students in front of you. You inhaled sharply before continuing your speech, “In life, there are things and people you must keep and let go of. To those who stood with you through thick and thin, never scared to go against the odds that were against you, keep them. People like them are very hard to come by.” The crowd laughed in agreement. You cracked a smile.
“And sometimes you have to let go of those who mattered most even when it's the complete opposite of what you want. I want you to know that it's okay. It's a part of the cycle. Continue on and bloom. You live only once and you must make the most of it. You can't be the reason or let anyone be the reason why you're held back from greatness. So when you leave today, choose yourself. Choose happiness, choose love, and choose to do what makes you happy. It's okay to be selfish so live for yourself.” The auditorium erupted in claps and cheers and you swore you could hear a loud sniffle behind you. You immediately knew it was Jungkook.
“And I want you to know that you’ll always have a friend in me. You call, I run. So my fellow graduates, today we cheer for us and for our beautiful futures. Congratulations, you finished the first half of your journey. Keep soaring.” You smiled brightly and everyone in the audience stood up and cheered deafeningly.
The top ten of your class were first to walk the stage which included you and Jungkook. Then one by one, every student walked across the stage with their degree. After the president of your university shared his farewells and thanks, the students dispersed to their respective families.
“My baby!” your mother cried out as she rushed toward you. You groaned affectionately when she reached up to cup your cheeks. “I'm so proud of you!”
“Thank you, Mom.” You laughed.
Your dad sniffed and wiped a tear that fell down his face. “I can't believe how grown you are now.”
“Yeah, can you go back to that kid who would always trail after me?” Namjoon walked up to you with a tearful smile and you scoffed. He pulled you into a tight hug which made you let out an ‘oof’ sound. “I'm serious. Can you go back?”
“Love you too, Joon.” You patted his back and he sniffled on your shoulders which caused you to snort. The two of you pulled away and Jin walked up to you with a proud smile.
“Congrats, Y/Nie!” Jin cheered and he pinched your cheeks.
“Jin!” You whined and rubbed your face. Jin snickered at your reaction.
“Congratulations, Y/N.” Yoongi smiled and you beamed.
“Thanks, Yoongi!”
“Congrats! I got you this flower lei!” Hobi sent you a heart-shaped smile. You gasped and bent your head down slightly so he could place the lei around your neck.
“It's so beautiful! Thanks, Hobi!”
“Where’s my lei at?” You hear Jungkook let out a scandalized gasp from behind you.
“Jungkookie! Congrats, sweetie!” your mom cheered as she gushed over him. Jungkook’s cheeks burned red and he grew bashful.
“Ah, thank you, Auntie.” Jungkook gave her a soft smile.
Your dad slapped a hand on his shoulders and gave him a grin, “Congrats, kid.” Jungkook beamed and thanked him as well. Everyone followed in congratulating him and you chuckled at the sight.
“There's my favorite girl.” You turned to see Jimin beaming at you happily. You squealed and rushed to hug him.
“I missed you so much,” you muttered into his shoulders. Jimin chuckled and squeezed you tightly.
“I missed you more.”
“Taehyung?” you whispered so that only you and Jimin could hear. He gave you a sad smile and shook his head.
Your face fell, “He’s really not here?”
“I’m sorry, Y/Nie.” Jimin mumbled sadly.
Your heart dropped to your stomach. You thought he was probably just late but to know that he just never attended broke you.
“It’s okay.” You gave him a light smile. “I’m just happy you were able to come. I know how busy you've been with work and traveling.”
Jimin blew out a breath and shook his head, “I love my job but it is so exhausting with the constant business meetings.” You laughed at that.
“So, Y/Nie.” Jin wrapped his arm around your shoulders and you turned to see that everyone was surrounding you and Jimin. “I heard you're moving abroad?”
Your dad grinned at that, pride was clear on his face, “Y/N here got a really big offer to manage this art museum in Paris. I think it's called the Louvre.”
“You're moving to Paris?” Jungkook gaped at you in shock and you winced, “And working at the Louvre?”
“Surprise?” you sheepishly said. Your mom slapped your dad on the arm which caused a guilty look to appear on his face. “I was going to reveal it at our celebration party but Dad here got too excited.”
“Hey! I'm a proud father, okay?” your dad defended himself. Everyone laughed.
“I know I don't say it a lot, but I'm really proud of you, Y/N.” Namjoon smiled, his dimples poking from his cheeks.
You pouted and you felt yourself tear up. “Don't say that, I'm going to cry now.”
Namjoon laughed loudly and pulled you into an embrace.
“Okay, let's go party now please!” Jungkook pleaded and you rolled your eyes with a snort.
“Yeah, let's go.”
You were all back at your family’s house and it was surrounded by family and friends. You spent a lot of time mingling but you needed a breather. So you were currently sitting on the balcony from your room.
“Y/N?” You turned to see Jimin at the entrance of your room. He smiled at you, “Thought I’d find you here. Can I come in?”
You gave him a small grin and nod. You turned back to stare out at the night sky and sighed. You felt Jimin taking a seat beside you. The sound of the breeze and the chittering of insects was heard through the peaceful silence.
“He tried to come.” Jimin muttered.
You swallowed, “What happened?”
“Lina.”
You scoffed.
“They're back together? Again?”
“I don't know.” Jimin breathed out.
You took a large sip from your cup and rubbed your eyes, “I’m tired, Jimin.”
“I know.” he whispered.
“I can't keep going on like this.”
“Then why do you?”
A shaky sigh left your lips, “Because somewhere inside of me, I believe that maybe there is a chance. Maybe everything he's done for me was because it was in his interest in me. Why would he pretend that I was his girl that one night? Why is he always the first one to my rescue when I need saving? Why, Jimin, why?”
“I don't know why,” Jimin answered softly. “But what I know is that a few months after our graduation, he stopped trying to stay in contact with you.”
You got quiet and you turned to face him, "How do you know that?”
He cracked a sad smile, “Because he always asks me how you are.” You froze. “And whenever I ask why can't he ask you himself, he gets quiet.”
Your breath hitched and you felt your eyes sting with tears. You were quick to glance away from Jimin and stare back out at the sky. The moon seemed to shine brighter all of a sudden.
“What happened to you two?” Jimin asked quietly.
A few moments of silence passed.
“We grew up,” you answered. “I grew up. I think I stopped trying.”
Jimin hummed. “I’m proud of you. Really.”
You cracked a smile at that.
“Will you ever give him your letters?” Jimin questioned faintly.
You were quiet for a while. Your letters were sacred to you. It contained every honest and raw feeling you had for Taehyung. Maybe this whole time you could never move on was because you still held on to those letters. Maybe the key was to let them go. If you give it to him, you'll finally move on.
You turned to Jimin, “I think I will.” Jimin gave you a surprise look, “I think I will finally be able to let go of him if I do it.”
“Besides, I won't have to face him any time soon.”
Jimin looked at you confused now.
You sighed, “I leave tomorrow. First thing in the morning.”
Jimin’s eyes widened, “Y/N.”
“I know.” you exhaled sharply. “But this is what I worked for my whole life. This is it.”
“Everyone knows?” Jimin asked.
“Only my parents and Joon right now. I plan to tell the others later when I go back down.” You replied.
The sound of Namjoon yelling Jimin’s name from downstairs was heard which caused the two of you to look toward your bedroom door.
“Someone’s being called.” you snickered.
Jimin sighed and chuckled lightly. He got up from his seat and gave you a reassuring smile. “I’m here for you through everything, okay?”
You smiled back and nodded, “Thanks.”
Jimin winked and turned to leave but stopped when you called out to him.
“Hey, Jimin?” He gave you a confused look. “Do you think you can give the letters to Tae?” his eyes softened and he nodded.
“Yeah, I can do that.”
“Thank you.” you breathed. Jimin gave you one last smile before leaving.
You felt your phone vibrate and you saw that it was a text from Taehyung. Your heart dropped. The two of you hadn’t texted in months.
Taehyung: i’m sorry i wasn’t at your graduation, i tried really hard to. congratulations y/n, i’m proud of you :)
A lump formed in your throat and you felt your eyes well up with tears. You decided to ignore his text and face the night sky again.
That night, you wrote your goodbye to Taehyung.
Taehyung,
I graduated today and you weren't there. I read your text and I chose to ignore it.. I think if I answered I would’ve lost all the progress I made. I think this is for the best anyway. I spent the better half of my teenage years in love with you and that journey taught me a lot. You taught me a lot. Even though we don't talk anymore, you're still one of the most important people in my life.
Goodbye Taehyung,
I'll always love you.
It was the next day, and you had to leave for your job now. Everyone was at the airport, teary-eyed but filled with happiness. You took in everyone’s faces and pouted.
“I'm going to miss you all so much.” you cried and rushed to try and hug everyone. Your mother cooed and caressed your hair as she tried to calm you down but it didn't really help. Your sobs were muffled against Namjoon's shoulders and you could hear that he was crying too. You pulled back, eyes brimming with tears.
“Okay, no more tears please.” Jungkook sniffled. He used the end of his sleeve to wipe any stray tears and gave you a sad frown, “I’m mad that you're leaving me but happy for you because you're achieving your dreams.”
You laughed tearfully and pulled the taller man into a hug. He was quick to squeeze you tightly.
One by one, you hugged everyone one last time. Namjoon sported a proud grin but his red eyes gave away his true emotions which made your heart break. He was your big brother and seeing your little sister leaving wasn't easy. Jin, and surprisingly, Yoongi looked about the same as Namjoon. Hobi was a complete mess, sniffling into his tissue every now and then. Jimin looked like he was about to break down but he held it in pretty well.
You hugged Jimin last and the blonde man made sure to hold you tighter and longer. When you pulled back, you handed him a stack of sealed letters that were tied with a red string. Jimin immediately recognized what they were and gave you a sad smile.
“Thank you.” Your voice cracked.
“Of course.” Jimin muttered back before hugging you again. You breathed out a shaky sigh and squeezed him.
The two of you broke apart and you gave everyone a small smile before slowly departing. Once your back was turned toward them, your heart grew heavier.
This will be good for you. This is what you need.
Jimin hasn't seen Taehyung in a while. The two of them were quite busy, Jimin with the numerous meetings with different businessmen and Taehyung being the head of managing a renowned art museum.
The two were still close but not as much as they were in college, especially now that Taehyung was back together with Lina. They rarely ever talk now.
For you though, Jimin had to break the silence. He had to. It was for your own well-being. You deserved better and he wanted to make sure you would.
Jimin was in front of Taehyung’s apartment door and with a sigh, he knocked. A few minutes went by before the door opened. Taehyung’s eyebrows rose in surprise at the sight of Jimin.
“Jimin.” Taehyung breathed out. “Hi! Uh—come in.” he stepped aside for the blonde to walk in and Jimin gave him a tight-lipped smile as he stepped inside.
“Lina’s not here is she?” Jimin cleared his throat.
Taehyung inhaled sharply and shook his head, “No. It’s over between us.”
“Really?” Jimin sarcastically laughed. His eyes were dark with anger, “You sure? Because I’ve heard that phrase a million times now.”
Taehyung sighed and clenched his jaw, “I’m serious. It’s over.”
“You missed her graduation.” Jimin snapped.
“I know.” Taehyung retorted harshly. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and rubbed his face, “I’ve been beating myself over it since last night, okay? Lina completely fucked me over and I couldn't get out of the plans she made because it was a done deal. I got even more pissed finding out that she purposely made the plans on Y/N and Jungkook’s graduation so I would miss it.”
Jimin’s lips parted in shock. His eyes softened and any fury in his body vanished.
“What are you doing here anyway?” Taehyung muttered tiredly, “We haven't talked in forever and I know it's awkward between us right now.”
“Y/N.” Jimin answered.
Taehyung froze.
“What about her?” Taehyung muttered softly. His voice dropped to that particular tone that he always spoke in whenever he talked about you.
Jimin didn't respond. He merely grabbed something from his back pocket and handed it to Taehyung.
Taehyung’s eyebrows furrowed together at the stack of letters in Jimin’s hands. He hesitantly reached out to grab it and his heart dropped at the familiar handwriting.
Taehyung. His name was written in a beautiful elegant cursive. He knew this was you.
“What is this?” Taehyung choked out.
“Just—” Jimin sighed, “Just read it.”
Taehyung swallowed harshly before he slowly opened the first letter on top of the stack. A neatly folded paper was in the envelope and he gradually unfolded it.
His eyes trailed over the words.
May 3rd, 2012.
That was the day you two met.
Dear Taehyung,
I think you're an angel who fell from heaven to thaw my frozen heart.
Taehyung’s breath hitched.
His eyes frantically read the words over and over again.
He moved to the next letter.
Dear Taehyung,
Is this love? I think it is. I always hear the birds singing louder whenever you're near. Maybe I'm just crazy, but maybe I'm not. Because I swear every time you smile at me, my heart jumps into the shape of your smile.
Taehyung’s eyes started to burn.
Dear Taehyung,
You're the only person who doesn't make me feel like I'm alone. I love Jimin and Jungkook but sometimes I don't think they understand me. Thank you for being that person for me. I don't know what I would do without you. I'm scared, Taehyung. I think I'm falling harder.
A shaky breath left Taehyung’s lips and he felt like his knees were about to buckle.
Dear Taehyung,
Today was the worst and best day ever for me. I hated going on the roller coasters but your encouragement pushed me not to be scared. You made today fun. You always knew how to make me feel better, and that still scares me. I don't think I can ever shake you out of my system.
Taehyung let out a choked cry as his knees started to quiver. Jimin started to tear up at the distraught sight of him.
Dear Taehyung,
You left for college today. I cried two times after you and Jimin said goodbye. I hope college treats you well. I know you will do amazing things and I can't wait to hear about them. Remember that I'll always be in your corner! Fighting!
Taehyung felt himself drop to the floor. A trembling whimper left him as he read the next letter.
Dear Taehyung,
I told myself I would finally work on getting over you, but tonight, you just had to go and mess it all up for me. You set me back to square one. I'm scared.
The hole in Taehyung’s chest grew. His vision started to get blurry as he continued to read.
Dear Taehyung,
I think I am completely and irrevocably in love with you. Every time you laugh, my heart turns into a mess. Every time you tap my nose, my heart decides it's only you. I'm really scared now. What should I do, Taehyung? You've wrecked me entirely.
A stifled sob escaped Taehyung. His head hurts now and his heart burns.
Dear Taehyung,
It's been a few months since you graduated now and I miss you. A lot. You're a big manager at your dream art museum now and I couldn't be more happier for you! I still think you should sell your art and I hope you do one day! Maybe, I'll work at the Louvre and your art will be displayed!
A few tears fell onto the next letter and Taehyung felt his heart drop at the first few words.
Dear Taehyung,
My graduation is coming up and I'm valedictorian. Jungkook is super salty over it but I hope you're proud of me! We haven't talked in months now and I tried keeping in contact but I guess our lives just got too busy. I miss when we were careless kids laughing over stupid things. I got a job offer at the Louvre too! Crazy, right?! It was a big surprise for me but I'm super happy! I hope to see you at my graduation and tell you all about it! Love you. Miss you.
Taehyung leaned back against his couch and let out a shaky breath. His hand came up to wipe away his tears.
Taehyung,
I graduated today and you weren't there. I read your text and I chose to ignore it.. I think if I answered I would’ve lost all the progress I made. I think this is for the best anyway. I spent the better half of my teenage years in love with you and that journey taught me a lot. You taught me a lot. Even though we don't talk anymore, you're still one of the most important people in my life.
Goodbye Taehyung,
I'll always love you.
This was the last letter and Taehyung knew this was it. He noticed there was no ‘Dear’. You had let him go. Taehyung grasped at his chest and cried. Jimin, who stood watching him, quietly sniffled, his heart clenching in pain for his friend.
“She kept looking for you at her graduation.” Jimin revealed gently.
That didn't help Taehyung at all, it only caused him to cry harder. He glanced up at Jimin with swollen eyes, “Where is she?”
Jimin was quiet.
Taehyung grew anxious. He felt his eyes sting, “Jimin. Where is she?”
“She’s gone, Tae.” Jimin quietly replied, “She left for Paris.”
Taehyung felt his whole world collapse.
You were right there in front of him this whole time and he was so blind.
synopsis: Kim Taehyung was forbidden the moment your older brother, Namjoon, became friends with him. Falling for Taehyung was something you couldn’t control. He was everything you wanted in a man and more. He met every standard of yours and exceeded them, but you could never bring yourself to confess to him, so you wrote your feelings down in nine letters and kept them in a shoebox. Though, Taehyung always went back to his first love, making you believe that there was no chance for you. You decided it was time to let him go. He could never be yours. That day, you wrote one last letter. Your goodbye letter.
pairing: brother’s best friend!taehyung x fem!reader
genre / warnings: unrequited love, heavy angst, some fluff, strong language, usage of alcohol, reader is a hopeless romantic and an art major!!, taehyung is oblivious as hell, jimin is your biggest supporter, jungkook and reader are so cute (they are bffs fr </3), jimin’s relationship with reader also makes me cry, flashbacks are in italics!
nini’s notes: my first one shot!! this may have a part two depending on how i feel and how well it does!! the letters aspect of this is somewhat inspired by tatbilb!! i really love this, i cried like six times writing this no joke, so i hope you enjoy it :’)!!
word count: 7.7K
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You met Taehyung when you were fifteen. You remembered it as clear as day. You were in a bad mood having received a low score on your math exam. You could never understand the subject, it never made sense to you. You just wanted to go home and lock yourself in your room while you drown in your own self-pity. The big tub of vanilla ice cream that stood in your freezer had your name all over it.
“Namjoon! My ice cream better still be in the freezer! I swear I am not in the mood to deal with you right now, my day is going badly as is!” you shouted as you walked inside your house, shoving off your shoes clumsily. Your cheeks were tinted pink from the frosty weather. The cold weather made your bad mood worse.
Despite winter being your favorite season, today was way too cold and your mood wasn't the brightest. Your fingers reached up to grasp the fabric of your scarf, and you started pulling at it aggressively. An annoyed huff left your lips as you tried to untangle the mess.
“Namjoon!” you shouted again, eyes focused only on removing your scarf, and you didn't notice that there were other people beside your brother in the house. “Did you hear me? I—”
Oh.
Six unfamiliar pairs of eyes stared at you in surprise.
“Uh, Joon?” you squeaked out. Your fingers froze, still tangled with your scarf.
Your brother pinched his nose in exasperation before he flashed his friends an awkward grin, “Sorry, guys. This is my little sister, Y/N. Don't mind her, she's a little crazy in the head sometimes.”
“Yah!” you snapped. A deep chuckle broke through the chaos and your eyes were quick to glance over at the source.
You swore you had never seen such a beautiful man in your life before. He was the embodiment of your type. His beauty made you completely forget about the ridiculous math formulas and the low exam score you received.
You watched as he confidently stood up from the couch and extended his hand, “Hi, I'm Taehyung.”
Hi, I think you're the love of my life. You thought to yourself as you gawked at him.
Your eyes trailed to his outstretched hand, as if it were a foreign thing to you. Namjoon could see Taehyung’s face slowly falling as he realized you weren't reaching out to return his gesture.
Namjoon coughed loudly, breaking you out of your trance. You hurriedly grasped Taehyung’s hand and your knees almost buckled. You've never thought a human hand could fit so perfectly with yours. Your heart thumped faster as a boxy smile appeared on Taehyung’s face.
“Hi.” you breathed out. Taehyung’s smile grew wider and he squeezed your hand before letting it go.
Namjoon raised an eyebrow at your interaction but shrugged it off, “This is Jin and Yoongi hyung, Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook too.” As he listed their names, your eyes trailed over to each boy who gave you a small bow of their head or a smile.
“Hi. Nice to meet you guys.” you awkwardly stated. You nervously shifted in place before sticking your thumb toward the direction of your room. “I'm gonna go—I, yeah.”
You were quick to spin around and scamper away. Your ears picked up the familiar deep chuckle which caused your heart to skip a beat.
That night, you wrote a letter for the first time.
Dear Taehyung,
I think you're an angel who fell from heaven to thaw my frozen heart.
A few years passed, and your crush on Taehyung grew stronger. Out of the boys that Namjoon befriended, you were closest with the youngest three; Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung. That doesn't mean you weren't close with the others. You were just closer in age to the three.
No one knew of your crush except for Jimin. He immediately figured it out when he noticed your eyes seemed to always shine around Taehyung’s presence.
“You like him.” Jimin muttered with wide eyes, his gaze flickering back and forth between you and Taehyung.
You tensed up and choked out a nervous laugh, “What nonsense are you going on about now?”
“Oh, please.” Jimin rolled his eyes. “You can’t put up an act around me. I see right through you.”
“Jimin.” you sighed.
Jimin softened, “Y/N.”
“He can’t know.” Was all you said.
Jimin was quiet for a moment before he spoke, “Can you handle it? Bottling your feelings inside?”
You didn’t answer. Jimin sighed and leaned down to place his head on your shoulder.
Jungkook, on the other hand, was dense and never picked up the small signs. He couldn't even tell if someone liked him or not. Taehyung was similar in that way but he knew enough to pick up the signs when a girl was crushing on him. Yet, when it came to you, he was completely oblivious.
“Hey, are you going to the grad party tonight?” You glanced up from your laptop at the sound of a soft knock on your door. Your roommate, Sunni, had a hopeful look on her face. You weren't exactly a party person and preferred to stay in rather than go out. Sunni could see the distaste on your face already and was quick to blurt out, “Taehyung will be there.”
You gave her a wary stare, but Sunni didn't budge. She raised an eyebrow, “And so will Jimin and Jungkook, y'know our friends, your best friends? Look, it's Jimin and Taehyung’s senior year before they go out in the real world. Are you really going to skip out on their last hurrah?”
Your face fell at that. It was their last year. You and Jungkook were only in your second year so you still had some time before you would graduate.
“Fine, but only because it’s for Jimin and Tae,” you grumbled, which caused Sunni to squeal.
“Come on! We need to find you an outfit!” Sunni was quick to walk to your closet and rummage through your rack of clothes.
“Seriously?” You whined. “I just organized my closet.”
“Relax.” Sunni scoffed, “You’re acting as if I will make a complete mess. I’m a clean freak, you know that, but that’s beside the point. We need to find something sexy but cute.”
“I’m not trying to impress anyone, Sunni.” you snickered as you continued to type out your assignment for your English class.
“You should! You're beautiful, sexy, and smart!” Sunni exclaimed with wide eyes. “Anyone would be lucky to date you!”
You laughed at her statement, “Thanks, Sunni.”
“Now, put your assignment aside for the night.” Sunni grabbed a white lace halter top and a light blue jean skirt. A huge grin appeared on her face, “Because tonight, we're gonna party.”
You sighed fondly, a grin plastered on your face as well.
You needed to let loose tonight.
By the time you and Sunni finished getting ready, the time for the party to start was approaching. The two of you took Sunni’s car and drove to the location of the party. From what Sunni told you on the way there, it was a senior’s house that they recently bought with a couple of other people.
Sunni squealed as the two of you walked toward the entrance, “I'm so excited! You'll have a lot of fun, I promise!”
You merely laughed. You could only hope. Parties and you never mesh well together.
You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and reached back to grab it. A smile appeared on your face seeing that it was a text from Jimin. You didn't tell anyone that you were going as you wanted it to be a surprise.
Jimin: you're here???
You: surprise!! where are you??
Jimin: fuck
You: ???
Jimin: stay by the front door, ill come get you
You: jimin you're scaring me
Jimin left you on read and didn't answer which caused you to furrow your eyebrows anxiously. Your heart was beating rapidly and you glanced up to try to find Jimin. You felt a little calmer when you saw a familiar blonde coming your way.
“Jimin!” you shouted over the loud music, your eyes flickering around his face. “What’s wrong?”
Jimin gave you a pitying look, “If I had known you were coming, I would've warned you.”
“What?” you muttered with knitted brows.
“Lina is here. With Taehyung.”
Oh.
Lina was Taehyung’s first girlfriend. The two had an on-and-off relationship since their freshman year. They would get into arguments, break up, and then get back together in a couple of weeks. Jimin didn't like her nor did the rest of the guys. They all believed Taehyung deserved better and Lina knew the hold she had on him so she would always come back to him because he would too.
“They're back together?” Was all you could bring yourself to say.
Jimin rolled his eyes and took a big sip of alcohol from his cup, “Don't get me started. It's complicated, according to Taehyung. He and I got into a small argument about it and he's ignoring me right now.”
“Tae? Ignoring you?” You gaped at him. Jimin gave you a sad smile and shrugged.
“Maybe you can smack some sense into him, Y/N.” Jimin sighed and his eyes softened, “He just, I don't know, he seems to only listen to you somehow.”
“Don't say that.” you mumbled as you rubbed your forehead.
Jimin shrugged, “It’s true, but anyways, no more of this nonsense. Let's go drink and celebrate me finally graduating.” he grabbed your hand and paused, “And find Jungkook. God knows where that kid is.”
You snorted.
As Jimin guided you through the huge crowd, you subconsciously searched for Taehyung. You believed what Jimin told you but you just wanted to see it for yourself.
Maybe this is your sign to finally move on from him.
You loved him since you were fifteen.
You couldn't do this to yourself anymore.
Just as you were about to step into the kitchen, your eyes met a familiar pair of warm brown eyes. Your breath hitched. Taehyung’s eyes slightly widened upon registering that you were actually there. You noticed he slightly tensed up which caused Lina, who was sitting on his lap, to lean toward him and whisper something.
You gave him a small smile and looked away before he could return it.
“Find me a strong drink, Jimin.”
Jimin glanced back and smirked, “You don't have to tell me twice.”
You and Jimin ventured further into the kitchen and the two of you finally made it to the nearby table where all the drinks were. Coincidentally, you found Jungkook there.
“Y/N!” Jungkook gasped. His eyes lit up in complete joy and he rushed to embrace you, “I thought you said you weren't coming?”
“Yeah, but Sunni managed to convince me.” You smiled and paused, taking a glance around the area, “Who—I don't know where she went.”
“I saw her with her little boyfriend, Jaemin.” Jimin took a sip from his cup. “I think she'll be fine.”
You sighed in relief. You knew she was in good hands at least.
“I could treat her better but whatever.” Jungkook rolled his eyes. He had a slight crush on Sunni but you knew Sunni wasn't really that interested and Jungkook knew that but he liked to joke around about it.
You snorted, “Sure, pal.”
“Thanks, best friend.” Jungkook sarcastically muttered. He turned around and grabbed an unopened can of beer. “Oh! Here. I know you don't like super-strong alcohol.”
“Thanks, Kook.” You gave him a genuine smile, “But, uh, I think I'd be down to drink some of that strong alcohol today.”
Jungkook’s jaw lightly dropped, “Who are you and what have you done to my Y/N?” he paused and frowned, “Wait, who's dying tonight? Who are we killing?” Jimin snorted and you snickered.
Your heart warmed. Jungkook was truly your best friend. “No one, doofus. I just want to let loose tonight.”
Jungkook raised an eyebrow and glanced over at Jimin, who gave him a nod, “Hmmm. . . If you say so.” he passed you his cup, “Take mine. I'll grab a new one.”
“No—it's okay.” You shook your head but Jungkook didn't budge.
“Take the cup. I don't trust anyone here.”
“I agree.” Jimin clicked his tongue and pointed to the cup.
“You guys are too much.” You chuckled but they knew you didn't mean it.
“Yeah, love you too.” Jungkook grinned, “Okay, I'll be right back and we’ll party.”
“Are we going to get Tae?” you asked and Jungkook immediately rolled his eyes.
“Not if he's with her. I'm passing on that.”
Jimin slapped a hand on Jungkook’s shoulders, “It's nice having someone who understands.”
You sighed, “If she makes him happy, we should be happy for him.”
“Dude.” Jungkook deadpanned, “She’s literally the devil reincarnated. Taehyung experiences more sorrow than joy.”
Jimin cackled loudly at that. You opened your mouth to say something but found no words.
“Okay, be right back!” Jungkook turned and went to get a new drink.
“He needs to learn the hard way, Y/N.” Jimin told you once Jungkook was out of earshot.
You didn't answer, merely drowning some alcohol down.
You had a few drinks in you now and you knew you were most definitely buzzed. Your head pounded as you continued to dance with Jimin and Jungkook.
“Wait, guys.” You huffed and stopped in your tracks to hold your head. “I think I'm going to get some water. My head’s killing me.”
The two stopped and gave you a concerned look.
“I'll go with you.” Jimin didn't hesitate to offer but you shook your head and smiled.
“No, no. It's okay. I'll be back quickly.”
Jungkook raised an eyebrow, “You sure?”
“Yeah.” you nodded with a laugh. Jimin reluctantly let you go and you started to make your way through the crowd, muttering apologies as you passed by.
You finally reached the kitchen and grabbed a cold unopened water bottle from the cooler.
“Hey, you're Y/N, right?” You looked up to see a somewhat familiar guy. He looked decently handsome and you recognized him as one of your classmates.
“Oh, hey! Luke, right?”
Luke smiled, “Yeah! I didn't know you were a party type of person. You don't seem like one.”
“Ah.” you chuckled, “I know some of the seniors that this party is for and they're my best friends so I came out to celebrate with them.”
“That’s nice.” Luke grinned before his posture shifted into a more nervous stance, “Uh, this is really random and super out of the blue, but I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me? I think you're really cool.”
Oh wow. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. Luke was handsome but he wasn't really your type. He was quite far from it.
“Oh, I'm sorry.” You gave him a sympathetic smile, “I'm not really interested but you seem like a great guy.”
Almost immediately, Luke’s entire energy changed. His eyes grew dark and a snarky look appeared on his face.
“Whatever. You're not all that anyway.”
“What did you just say?” The two of you turned your heads to see Taehyung glaring harshly at Luke.
“Tae.” you were quick to say, standing up taller to hold him back from potentially throwing a punch.
“No.” Taehyung shook his head and stepped closer to you, his hand reached out to place his palm on your lower back. You tensed up at the touch and glanced up at him with wide eyes.
Taehyung’s eyes darkened as his glare remained on Luke, “I suggest you walk away before I do something I’ll regret.”
Luke scoffed. “What? Is she your girl or something?”
“Yeah.” Taehyung raised a stern brow, “So listen to what I said and walk the fuck away.” You froze.
What?
Luke rolled his eyes and scoffed again, mumbling incoherent phrases under his breath as he walked away.
You continued to stare at Taehyung in shock.
Taehyung quickly glanced down at you and his eyes softened. His brows furrowed in concern, “You okay? He didn't try anything right?”
“No,” you reassured him. “You—You didn't have to do that y'know.”
“I'll always protect you,” Taehyung stated with knitted eyebrows, confused as to why you would say such a thing. “You know that.”
“I know.” You closed your eyes for a brief moment, “I'm talking about me being your girl.”
Taehyung paused. His mouth opened and closed before a sigh left his lips, “It worked, didn't it?”
You pursed your lips, “Yeah, I guess.”
He noticed the water bottle in your hand and glanced back at your face, his eyes flickered around, “You drank a lot tonight, didn't you?” It wasn't really a question, but rather a statement because he knew the answer.
He knew you.
He always did.
“Want me to take you home?” Taehyung asked softly.
“What?” you muttered in disbelief.
“I'm kinda sick of the party already and you look tired. I can take you back to your apartment.” Taehyung shrugged.
You glanced over to the crowd of moving bodies and spotted Jimin and Jungkook who were a part of some dance train. Taehyung followed your stare and exhaled sharply.
“Go.” he nodded his head toward their direction, “Let them know. I can go start the car.” You gave him a hesitant look and he gave you a small smile, “I didn't drink tonight if that's what you're worried about. I wasn't in the mood.”
“Okay.” you sighed and Taehyung grinned. He tapped the tip of your nose before he left. Your heart raced. This was not good for you. So much for trying to move on.
You started to make your way back to Jimin and Jungkook. The two noticed you immediately and cheered.
“Hey!” Jungkook shouted, “What took so long?”
“Some guy hit on me.” you answered before trailing off, “And Taehyung rescued me.” Jimin and Jungkook shared a look.
“He's taking you home now, isn't he?” Jimin questioned and you only gave him a timid smile in response. Jimin sighed and pulled you into his arms, “Let me know when you're home then okay?”
Jungkook pouted and pulled you into a hug after Jimin released you, “Me too. If Taehyung does something, I don't care how long I've known him, I will fight him if something happens to you.”
You laughed. You did not doubt that Jungkook would actually do it.
“I will.” you smiled, “Bye.” The two shared their goodbyes, and you went to find Sunni to let her know you would be leaving too. You spotted her in one of the corners chatting with some people.
“Y/N!” Sunni squealed. She turned to her group, “Guys this is my cutie roommate, Y/N.” You gave her friends a small wave and smiled.
“I just wanted to let you know I'm leaving now,” you informed her, and she gave you a concerned look.
“You're taking an Uber?” Sunni asked.
“No, Tae’s taking me home.”
Sunni raised an eyebrow at that, “Hm. Okay, stay safe, I'll be home soon too.” You nodded and gave her a quick hug before leaving to find Taehyung.
You reached the entrance and grabbed your shoes, putting them on and exiting the party. You were quick to spot Taehyung who was leaning against his car and scrolling through his phone.
At the sound of your footsteps, he glanced up and gave you a grin, “Took you long enough. Did you say bye to everyone in that house? I didn't know you were so popular.”
You rolled your eyes and let out a mocking laugh, “Haha. So funny, but I did, so we can go now.”
Taehyung chuckled and opened the passenger door for you to get in. Your heart warmed at the stupid action. It's the bare minimum, Y/N. Snap out of it.
Once you were inside, Taehyung quickly made it over to the driver’s seat and began to drive out. You buckled your seatbelt as did he and you felt yourself slightly shiver.
“Cold?” Taehyung asked, reaching to adjust the air conditioner already.
“I'm okay, thanks,” you said. A few moments of silence passed before you decided to take a bold step, “So, I heard you're back with Lina?”
Taehyung sighed. His grip on the steering wheel tightened, “No. It's just—complicated.”
“Isn't it always?” you huffed softly which made him crack a smile.
“Well.” you decided to change the subject as it seemed like Taehyung didn't really want to talk about his situation with Lina, “You're graduating soon, what are you gonna do after?”
“I don't even know.” Taehyung laughed softly, “Maybe apply to work at some art museum. I've always loved art.”
“And you're also really good at creating art,” you interjected.
Taehyung glanced over at you and grinned. He turned back to the road and shook his head fondly. “You're too kind Y/N.”
“I’m serious!” you whined. “You should really sell your art. I know I would buy it!”
“You're just saying that because you already know me.”
“I would buy your art in a heartbeat even if you were a complete stranger to me.” you were quick to snap back. Taehyung peered back at you for a brief moment and smiled.
“What would I do without my biggest supporter, huh?”
“Probably not know how to survive in this chaotic world.” you joked.
Taehyung paused for a second before a soft smile grew on his face. He looked over at you and a breathy laugh left his lips, “Yeah. True. I wouldn't.”
You fell quiet. The sound that only you could hear was the thunderous pounding of your heart beating against your rib cage.
That night after Taehyung dropped you off at your apartment and made sure you had everything you needed. You wrote your sixth letter.
Dear Taehyung,
I told myself I would finally work on getting over you, but tonight, you just had to go and mess it all up for me. You set me back to square one. I'm scared.
Time flew by and now you were a senior. You still kept in contact with Jimin after he graduated but with Taehyung, you slowly lost contact with him. It hurt when it happened, but you realized maybe this was a blessing from the universe, it had given you a chance to finally move on.
“Hey! You ready?” The sound of Jungkook’s voice broke you from your thoughts. A huge smile grew on your face at the sight of him. His outfit mirrored yours, a red cap and gown, and his neck adorned with numerous medals and cords.
“Hey, fellow grad.” you laughed. Jungkook chuckled and rolled his eyes playfully. “Yeah, I'm ready. We're starting soon?”
“Yeah. So get your valedictorian ass up on that stage already.” Jungkook clicked his tongue, nodding his head toward the stage.
“Says you salutatorian.” You snorted and linked your arms with his.
Jungkook scoffed and nudged you, “Can't believe you beat my ass by one point.”
You stuck your tongue out at him which caused him to nudge you a little harder. You laughed loudly and the two of you made it onto the stage. You both took your seats as the president of your university walked up to the podium.
You glanced out in the crowd, taking in the faces of your fellow peers and friends. A smile appeared on your face when you spotted Sunni in the crowd. The girl gave you a wink that made you let out a quiet chuckle.
You hear the president introducing Jungkook as salutatorian which signaled that he would go up to present his speech.
“Wish me luck.” Jungkook whispered and you gave him a bright grin and two thumbs up.
“You got this. Make me proud, Kook.”
Jungkook chuckled and walked up to the podium. His speech almost made you cry but you held it in. You couldn't cry right before you would present your own speech.
“And finally, my greatest gratitude goes to my ride or die, Y/N L/N. Without her, I genuinely would've not survived these past four years. She's my confidant and best friend. She pushed me to be the best version of myself and I'm so thankful that I have someone like her in my life. So, Y/N, valedictorian of this wonderful class, it's your turn to be the tearjerker.” The crowd laughed loudly and you giggled as you stood up to walk to the podium.
You pulled Jungkook into a tight hug and Jungkook gripped you tighter. You rubbed his back and whispered, “Love you.”
“Love you more.” he whispered back before the two of you pulled apart. His eyes were glistening with tears and you cooed which made him scoff. You laughed before taking his spot at the podium.
You sighed deeply into the microphone before a smile appeared on your face, “Good morning, faculty and students. Today is the day. The day we all close our books and write a new one. It's definitely scary to step into a chaotic world without knowing what is actually waiting out there for us but I know how all of you are. You're strong, bright, and determined. You’re all hard workers and today is proof of that.”
Your eyes flickered around the crowd and you noticed your parents beaming with pride. Namjoon was right beside them, tears visible in his eyes and you almost wanted to burst out laughing. He swore he wouldn't cry and yet here he was, not keeping his word. You notice the boys standing with him too. Yoongi, Jin, Hobi, and Jimin. Your heart cracked at the sight of no Taehyung. Maybe he's late.
He promised he would come to your graduation.
“When you graduate, I'll make sure to be the loudest there.” Taehyung placed his pinky out in front of you.
“Really?” you snickered and raised an inquisitive brow.
Taehyung grinned widely, “Scout’s honor.”
You laughed and intertwined your pinky with his. Taehyung's smile grew wider and he tapped your nose with his pointer finger causing your heart to warm.
You cleared your throat and focused back on the crowd of students in front of you. You inhaled sharply before continuing your speech, “In life, there are things and people you must keep and let go of. To those who stood with you through thick and thin, never scared to go against the odds that were against you, keep them. People like them are very hard to come by.” The crowd laughed in agreement. You cracked a smile.
“And sometimes you have to let go of those who mattered most even when it's the complete opposite of what you want. I want you to know that it's okay. It's a part of the cycle. Continue on and bloom. You live only once and you must make the most of it. You can't be the reason or let anyone be the reason why you're held back from greatness. So when you leave today, choose yourself. Choose happiness, choose love, and choose to do what makes you happy. It's okay to be selfish so live for yourself.” The auditorium erupted in claps and cheers and you swore you could hear a loud sniffle behind you. You immediately knew it was Jungkook.
“And I want you to know that you’ll always have a friend in me. You call, I run. So my fellow graduates, today we cheer for us and for our beautiful futures. Congratulations, you finished the first half of your journey. Keep soaring.” You smiled brightly and everyone in the audience stood up and cheered deafeningly.
The top ten of your class were first to walk the stage which included you and Jungkook. Then one by one, every student walked across the stage with their degree. After the president of your university shared his farewells and thanks, the students dispersed to their respective families.
“My baby!” your mother cried out as she rushed toward you. You groaned affectionately when she reached up to cup your cheeks. “I'm so proud of you!”
“Thank you, Mom.” You laughed.
Your dad sniffed and wiped a tear that fell down his face. “I can't believe how grown you are now.”
“Yeah, can you go back to that kid who would always trail after me?” Namjoon walked up to you with a tearful smile and you scoffed. He pulled you into a tight hug which made you let out an ‘oof’ sound. “I'm serious. Can you go back?”
“Love you too, Joon.” You patted his back and he sniffled on your shoulders which caused you to snort. The two of you pulled away and Jin walked up to you with a proud smile.
“Congrats, Y/Nie!” Jin cheered and he pinched your cheeks.
“Jin!” You whined and rubbed your face. Jin snickered at your reaction.
“Congratulations, Y/N.” Yoongi smiled and you beamed.
“Thanks, Yoongi!”
“Congrats! I got you this flower lei!” Hobi sent you a heart-shaped smile. You gasped and bent your head down slightly so he could place the lei around your neck.
“It's so beautiful! Thanks, Hobi!”
“Where’s my lei at?” You hear Jungkook let out a scandalized gasp from behind you.
“Jungkookie! Congrats, sweetie!” your mom cheered as she gushed over him. Jungkook’s cheeks burned red and he grew bashful.
“Ah, thank you, Auntie.” Jungkook gave her a soft smile.
Your dad slapped a hand on his shoulders and gave him a grin, “Congrats, kid.” Jungkook beamed and thanked him as well. Everyone followed in congratulating him and you chuckled at the sight.
“There's my favorite girl.” You turned to see Jimin beaming at you happily. You squealed and rushed to hug him.
“I missed you so much,” you muttered into his shoulders. Jimin chuckled and squeezed you tightly.
“I missed you more.”
“Taehyung?” you whispered so that only you and Jimin could hear. He gave you a sad smile and shook his head.
Your face fell, “He’s really not here?”
“I’m sorry, Y/Nie.” Jimin mumbled sadly.
Your heart dropped to your stomach. You thought he was probably just late but to know that he just never attended broke you.
“It’s okay.” You gave him a light smile. “I’m just happy you were able to come. I know how busy you've been with work and traveling.”
Jimin blew out a breath and shook his head, “I love my job but it is so exhausting with the constant business meetings.” You laughed at that.
“So, Y/Nie.” Jin wrapped his arm around your shoulders and you turned to see that everyone was surrounding you and Jimin. “I heard you're moving abroad?”
Your dad grinned at that, pride was clear on his face, “Y/N here got a really big offer to manage this art museum in Paris. I think it's called the Louvre.”
“You're moving to Paris?” Jungkook gaped at you in shock and you winced, “And working at the Louvre?”
“Surprise?” you sheepishly said. Your mom slapped your dad on the arm which caused a guilty look to appear on his face. “I was going to reveal it at our celebration party but Dad here got too excited.”
“Hey! I'm a proud father, okay?” your dad defended himself. Everyone laughed.
“I know I don't say it a lot, but I'm really proud of you, Y/N.” Namjoon smiled, his dimples poking from his cheeks.
You pouted and you felt yourself tear up. “Don't say that, I'm going to cry now.”
Namjoon laughed loudly and pulled you into an embrace.
“Okay, let's go party now please!” Jungkook pleaded and you rolled your eyes with a snort.
“Yeah, let's go.”
You were all back at your family’s house and it was surrounded by family and friends. You spent a lot of time mingling but you needed a breather. So you were currently sitting on the balcony from your room.
“Y/N?” You turned to see Jimin at the entrance of your room. He smiled at you, “Thought I’d find you here. Can I come in?”
You gave him a small grin and nod. You turned back to stare out at the night sky and sighed. You felt Jimin taking a seat beside you. The sound of the breeze and the chittering of insects was heard through the peaceful silence.
“He tried to come.” Jimin muttered.
You swallowed, “What happened?”
“Lina.”
You scoffed.
“They're back together? Again?”
“I don't know.” Jimin breathed out.
You took a large sip from your cup and rubbed your eyes, “I’m tired, Jimin.”
“I know.” he whispered.
“I can't keep going on like this.”
“Then why do you?”
A shaky sigh left your lips, “Because somewhere inside of me, I believe that maybe there is a chance. Maybe everything he's done for me was because it was in his interest in me. Why would he pretend that I was his girl that one night? Why is he always the first one to my rescue when I need saving? Why, Jimin, why?”
“I don't know why,” Jimin answered softly. “But what I know is that a few months after our graduation, he stopped trying to stay in contact with you.”
You got quiet and you turned to face him, "How do you know that?”
He cracked a sad smile, “Because he always asks me how you are.” You froze. “And whenever I ask why can't he ask you himself, he gets quiet.”
Your breath hitched and you felt your eyes sting with tears. You were quick to glance away from Jimin and stare back out at the sky. The moon seemed to shine brighter all of a sudden.
“What happened to you two?” Jimin asked quietly.
A few moments of silence passed.
“We grew up,” you answered. “I grew up. I think I stopped trying.”
Jimin hummed. “I’m proud of you. Really.”
You cracked a smile at that.
“Will you ever give him your letters?” Jimin questioned faintly.
You were quiet for a while. Your letters were sacred to you. It contained every honest and raw feeling you had for Taehyung. Maybe this whole time you could never move on was because you still held on to those letters. Maybe the key was to let them go. If you give it to him, you'll finally move on.
You turned to Jimin, “I think I will.” Jimin gave you a surprise look, “I think I will finally be able to let go of him if I do it.”
“Besides, I won't have to face him any time soon.”
Jimin looked at you confused now.
You sighed, “I leave tomorrow. First thing in the morning.”
Jimin’s eyes widened, “Y/N.”
“I know.” you exhaled sharply. “But this is what I worked for my whole life. This is it.”
“Everyone knows?” Jimin asked.
“Only my parents and Joon right now. I plan to tell the others later when I go back down.” You replied.
The sound of Namjoon yelling Jimin’s name from downstairs was heard which caused the two of you to look toward your bedroom door.
“Someone’s being called.” you snickered.
Jimin sighed and chuckled lightly. He got up from his seat and gave you a reassuring smile. “I’m here for you through everything, okay?”
You smiled back and nodded, “Thanks.”
Jimin winked and turned to leave but stopped when you called out to him.
“Hey, Jimin?” He gave you a confused look. “Do you think you can give the letters to Tae?” his eyes softened and he nodded.
“Yeah, I can do that.”
“Thank you.” you breathed. Jimin gave you one last smile before leaving.
You felt your phone vibrate and you saw that it was a text from Taehyung. Your heart dropped. The two of you hadn’t texted in months.
Taehyung: i’m sorry i wasn’t at your graduation, i tried really hard to. congratulations y/n, i’m proud of you :)
A lump formed in your throat and you felt your eyes well up with tears. You decided to ignore his text and face the night sky again.
That night, you wrote your goodbye to Taehyung.
Taehyung,
I graduated today and you weren't there. I read your text and I chose to ignore it.. I think if I answered I would’ve lost all the progress I made. I think this is for the best anyway. I spent the better half of my teenage years in love with you and that journey taught me a lot. You taught me a lot. Even though we don't talk anymore, you're still one of the most important people in my life.
Goodbye Taehyung,
I'll always love you.
It was the next day, and you had to leave for your job now. Everyone was at the airport, teary-eyed but filled with happiness. You took in everyone’s faces and pouted.
“I'm going to miss you all so much.” you cried and rushed to try and hug everyone. Your mother cooed and caressed your hair as she tried to calm you down but it didn't really help. Your sobs were muffled against Namjoon's shoulders and you could hear that he was crying too. You pulled back, eyes brimming with tears.
“Okay, no more tears please.” Jungkook sniffled. He used the end of his sleeve to wipe any stray tears and gave you a sad frown, “I’m mad that you're leaving me but happy for you because you're achieving your dreams.”
You laughed tearfully and pulled the taller man into a hug. He was quick to squeeze you tightly.
One by one, you hugged everyone one last time. Namjoon sported a proud grin but his red eyes gave away his true emotions which made your heart break. He was your big brother and seeing your little sister leaving wasn't easy. Jin, and surprisingly, Yoongi looked about the same as Namjoon. Hobi was a complete mess, sniffling into his tissue every now and then. Jimin looked like he was about to break down but he held it in pretty well.
You hugged Jimin last and the blonde man made sure to hold you tighter and longer. When you pulled back, you handed him a stack of sealed letters that were tied with a red string. Jimin immediately recognized what they were and gave you a sad smile.
“Thank you.” Your voice cracked.
“Of course.” Jimin muttered back before hugging you again. You breathed out a shaky sigh and squeezed him.
The two of you broke apart and you gave everyone a small smile before slowly departing. Once your back was turned toward them, your heart grew heavier.
This will be good for you. This is what you need.
Jimin hasn't seen Taehyung in a while. The two of them were quite busy, Jimin with the numerous meetings with different businessmen and Taehyung being the head of managing a renowned art museum.
The two were still close but not as much as they were in college, especially now that Taehyung was back together with Lina. They rarely ever talk now.
For you though, Jimin had to break the silence. He had to. It was for your own well-being. You deserved better and he wanted to make sure you would.
Jimin was in front of Taehyung’s apartment door and with a sigh, he knocked. A few minutes went by before the door opened. Taehyung’s eyebrows rose in surprise at the sight of Jimin.
“Jimin.” Taehyung breathed out. “Hi! Uh—come in.” he stepped aside for the blonde to walk in and Jimin gave him a tight-lipped smile as he stepped inside.
“Lina’s not here is she?” Jimin cleared his throat.
Taehyung inhaled sharply and shook his head, “No. It’s over between us.”
“Really?” Jimin sarcastically laughed. His eyes were dark with anger, “You sure? Because I’ve heard that phrase a million times now.”
Taehyung sighed and clenched his jaw, “I’m serious. It’s over.”
“You missed her graduation.” Jimin snapped.
“I know.” Taehyung retorted harshly. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and rubbed his face, “I’ve been beating myself over it since last night, okay? Lina completely fucked me over and I couldn't get out of the plans she made because it was a done deal. I got even more pissed finding out that she purposely made the plans on Y/N and Jungkook’s graduation so I would miss it.”
Jimin’s lips parted in shock. His eyes softened and any fury in his body vanished.
“What are you doing here anyway?” Taehyung muttered tiredly, “We haven't talked in forever and I know it's awkward between us right now.”
“Y/N.” Jimin answered.
Taehyung froze.
“What about her?” Taehyung muttered softly. His voice dropped to that particular tone that he always spoke in whenever he talked about you.
Jimin didn't respond. He merely grabbed something from his back pocket and handed it to Taehyung.
Taehyung’s eyebrows furrowed together at the stack of letters in Jimin’s hands. He hesitantly reached out to grab it and his heart dropped at the familiar handwriting.
Taehyung. His name was written in a beautiful elegant cursive. He knew this was you.
“What is this?” Taehyung choked out.
“Just—” Jimin sighed, “Just read it.”
Taehyung swallowed harshly before he slowly opened the first letter on top of the stack. A neatly folded paper was in the envelope and he gradually unfolded it.
His eyes trailed over the words.
May 3rd, 2012.
That was the day you two met.
Dear Taehyung,
I think you're an angel who fell from heaven to thaw my frozen heart.
Taehyung’s breath hitched.
His eyes frantically read the words over and over again.
He moved to the next letter.
Dear Taehyung,
Is this love? I think it is. I always hear the birds singing louder whenever you're near. Maybe I'm just crazy, but maybe I'm not. Because I swear every time you smile at me, my heart jumps into the shape of your smile.
Taehyung’s eyes started to burn.
Dear Taehyung,
You're the only person who doesn't make me feel like I'm alone. I love Jimin and Jungkook but sometimes I don't think they understand me. Thank you for being that person for me. I don't know what I would do without you. I'm scared, Taehyung. I think I'm falling harder.
A shaky breath left Taehyung’s lips and he felt like his knees were about to buckle.
Dear Taehyung,
Today was the worst and best day ever for me. I hated going on the roller coasters but your encouragement pushed me not to be scared. You made today fun. You always knew how to make me feel better, and that still scares me. I don't think I can ever shake you out of my system.
Taehyung let out a choked cry as his knees started to quiver. Jimin started to tear up at the distraught sight of him.
Dear Taehyung,
You left for college today. I cried two times after you and Jimin said goodbye. I hope college treats you well. I know you will do amazing things and I can't wait to hear about them. Remember that I'll always be in your corner! Fighting!
Taehyung felt himself drop to the floor. A trembling whimper left him as he read the next letter.
Dear Taehyung,
I told myself I would finally work on getting over you, but tonight, you just had to go and mess it all up for me. You set me back to square one. I'm scared.
The hole in Taehyung’s chest grew. His vision started to get blurry as he continued to read.
Dear Taehyung,
I think I am completely and irrevocably in love with you. Every time you laugh, my heart turns into a mess. Every time you tap my nose, my heart decides it's only you. I'm really scared now. What should I do, Taehyung? You've wrecked me entirely.
A stifled sob escaped Taehyung. His head hurts now and his heart burns.
Dear Taehyung,
It's been a few months since you graduated now and I miss you. A lot. You're a big manager at your dream art museum now and I couldn't be more happier for you! I still think you should sell your art and I hope you do one day! Maybe, I'll work at the Louvre and your art will be displayed!
A few tears fell onto the next letter and Taehyung felt his heart drop at the first few words.
Dear Taehyung,
My graduation is coming up and I'm valedictorian. Jungkook is super salty over it but I hope you're proud of me! We haven't talked in months now and I tried keeping in contact but I guess our lives just got too busy. I miss when we were careless kids laughing over stupid things. I got a job offer at the Louvre too! Crazy, right?! It was a big surprise for me but I'm super happy! I hope to see you at my graduation and tell you all about it! Love you. Miss you.
Taehyung leaned back against his couch and let out a shaky breath. His hand came up to wipe away his tears.
Taehyung,
I graduated today and you weren't there. I read your text and I chose to ignore it.. I think if I answered I would’ve lost all the progress I made. I think this is for the best anyway. I spent the better half of my teenage years in love with you and that journey taught me a lot. You taught me a lot. Even though we don't talk anymore, you're still one of the most important people in my life.
Goodbye Taehyung,
I'll always love you.
This was the last letter and Taehyung knew this was it. He noticed there was no ‘Dear’. You had let him go. Taehyung grasped at his chest and cried. Jimin, who stood watching him, quietly sniffled, his heart clenching in pain for his friend.
“She kept looking for you at her graduation.” Jimin revealed gently.
That didn't help Taehyung at all, it only caused him to cry harder. He glanced up at Jimin with swollen eyes, “Where is she?”
Jimin was quiet.
Taehyung grew anxious. He felt his eyes sting, “Jimin. Where is she?”
“She’s gone, Tae.” Jimin quietly replied, “She left for Paris.”
Taehyung felt his whole world collapse.
You were right there in front of him this whole time and he was so blind.
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disclaimer: some of my works include 18+ content! all of my works will be provided with content warnings. minors, please do not read the works that are not suitable for you, thank you!
note: all of my work will be female / afab reader (she/her) and all of my stories are fictitious and for entertainment purposes only.
key: smut = ෆ / fluff = ☘︎ / angst = ✯
BANGTAN 𖦹 .ᐟ
KIM NAMJOON 𖦹 .ᐟ
KIM SEOKJIN 𖦹 .ᐟ
MIN YOONGI 𖦹 .ᐟ
JUNG HOSEOK 𖦹 .ᐟ
PARK JIMIN 𖦹 .ᐟ
KIM TAEHYUNG 𖦹 .ᐟ
9 letters, 1 goodbye (☘︎ ✯) | brother’s best friend!taehyung x fem!reader
summary: Kim Taehyung was forbidden the moment your older brother, Namjoon, became friends with him. Falling for Taehyung was something you couldn’t control. He was everything you wanted in a man and more. He met every standard of yours and exceeded them, but you could never bring yourself to confess to him, so you wrote your feelings down in nine letters and kept them in a shoebox. Though, Taehyung always went back to his first love, making you believe that there was no chance for you. You decided it was time to let him go. He could never be yours. That day, you wrote one last letter. Your goodbye letter.
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