River Phoenix Memory Lives On

Dogfight (1991) dir. Nancy Savoca

first and foremost, i just want to thank you, i say this because without you, i feel as if i wouldn’t have learned more about myself than i had believed that i had already known of myself.

your presence has made quite an impact on my life and the continuous influence.

when i was just a simple eleven year old girl, i had unintentionally discovered you on some photo app and was immediately interested in you once i began to learn more about the person you were.

from all the articles and interviews that there was of you, the few ones that there sadly were only, you had that genuine and humble personality. someone, who was humble and continued to fight for the underdog, a person who was passionate about real life issues and not just “typical rich people problems.” because those are truly more important issues, more important than we’d like to believe. but then, my heart shattered when i discovered you were dead.

stand by me was the first movie i had seen of yours and in particular, the iconic heart to heart that gordie and your character chris had shared while in the woods, it was quite the scene that stood out and caused immense tears. i think however, the scene that really took it home for me and quite broke my heart was the scene where chris says goodbye to gordie and sadly vanished, slowly and then gradually altogether. mike and danny were two other characters that hit me and their iconic and heartbreaking confessions in the woods following chris.

however, it was always heartbreaking to think of all the possibilities you could’ve done before your untimely demise. but to then, raise a smile when your family and friends spread your thoughts and ideas with speaking of you in such high respect. to hear your loved ones speak of you is always bittersweet knowing how much of a heartache it would be.

when i have my first child, a son, that i will name him river jude after the inspiration that you are, dear river. because you will never be truly forgotten but remembered for your generosity and humbled soul and spirit.

and the fact that i want to thank you so much for your humbleness, kindness and the inspiration you’ve been to me for the past eight years that i’ve been a fan of yours. i had been a fan since i was in elementary school going on to her second year of college. and let me tell you, river, it’s been one hell of a ride from there to now. i feel as if hadn’t i not discovered you, i wouldn’t have learned more about myself. i wouldn’t have become a vegetarian then a vegan years later. i would never have learned about you or watched your movies and found out on what a magnificent actor and person you truly are.