ALRIGHT so i'm just freestyling this because if i think too much and try to structure it to death i'm never going to hit post.
I think the greatest criticism I currently have of HOTD is that for all its attempts to put itself forward as an anti-war show it fundamentally fails to recognize that the thing that makes war so bad is grief - and not just the grief of the side that is more morally right or that has a better reason for fighting the war. It's that even when these battles are being fought for the most legitimate reasons (for example in the book universe - to fight off the threat of the Long Night and the Others) you are still going to be heartbroken and have to face the loss of friends/family/brothers in arms/lovers etc. You might get some emotional comfort for the fact that they died for a great cause but that won't bring them back to life or make it any less lonely. And its the same if they die for a totally worthless cause. They arent coming back and they died violently and you just have to figure out how to live with that.
I think that the show does this somewhat well with Rhaenyra and by extension Team Black. She is still viscerally angry over the loss of Jace and Luke. And I actually like the scenes where she is deeply grief stricken and finds it difficult to muster up the strength to continue the war. Critics in and out of universe will say its because she's a woman and too weak/emotional but frankly I think any parent who has just lost 2 children very violently in a short span of time would be acting that way. And it makes people uncomfortable because obviously in a feudal society and even in our own patriarchial society allowing grief to impede on a leadership position is taboo because we do not associate grief with the traditionally masculine "virtues" we expect a leader to show.
IN CONTRAST where the show fails utterly to do this is in relation to Team Green. I dont think Alicent needs to be the most maternal person on earth and I even think it makes sense to have her be somewhat emotionally alienated from her 2 oldest sons and to be able to connect more and be more vulnerable with Helaena and Daeron. I think it does also make sense that Aemond and Aegon have a level of friction between then becuase like ok an older and a younger brother beefing in a feudal society...fork found in kitchen. But with every single episode that progresses Helaena and Alicent's reactions make less sense and it makes them flatter and takes away from any kind of anti-war perspective i'm trying to pick up
The ground zero for this was Jaehaerys' death and the total non-reaction to that by Alicent because if you dont care that a toddler who was related to you got decapitated then really i dont think much else would phase you
We cant say whether Helaena is or isnt grieving in universe since the writers seem to be giving her a level of neurodivergence connected to prophecy. HOWEVER this is a show not real life and Helaena is not a real person. They could have done further research into the way grief is expressed in neurodivergent people and showed it on screen so the audience could get something
Why when Alicent realised Daeron was in the castle was she not more panicked. Also after offering her sons up on a silver platter last season why is she now complaining about "hoping for her sons death"?? You were actively trying to ARRANGE their deaths in s2?
The final nail in the coffin was the reaction to Otto's death for me. Like yes i get that you fell out with your father and he put you in a bad position but the fact that last season your grandson was beheaded and now your father was beheaded and it doesnt trigger even a tiny verbal meltdown is actually staggering. Just from a perspective of it being traumatizing either Alicent or Helaena should have been reacting to that instead of saying "Rhaenyra you killed my father 😐"
The show won't let Team Green even have a basic level of care for one another and it affects the story because if they dont care about each other why should i care about them. And if they dont care about each other would they even experience grief in an impoortant enough way to convey an anti-war message? Who cares if people get fed into the meat-grinder if they themselves dont care?
