tongues on the sockets of electric dreams

You want me to be a hit man? You’re right, that would cut into my nothing time. Not gonna happen.

Then you sort of don’t have the right to complain, but please don’t let that stop you. Can you believe I actually have to get a job soon? I might have to come work with you.

Oh, right. Hahah, totally forgot about that. Chandler and I are cool, though! Isn’t he dating Nico’s robot sister? I dunno. I get that, though. Loyalty is important. I can’t really blame ya for being #teamchandler. 

Wow, color me shocked. Yeah? God for you guys. He’s always been more forgiving that I am if you can believe it. Honestly, I don’t know. I really hope so, but the urge to snoop hasn’t been that strong this time around. 

Pluto’s a nice lil fella who never fucks with us. Isn’t that just so nice?! I do wish it would bring some luck, though. I need some of that right about yesterday.

That’s nice, but it’d be nicer if there was a good luck retrograde from someone. Anyone. Jupiter, Saturn. Fucking Uranus for all I care. Yikes, did something happen? Who are we mad at?

CORAL: yes it absolutely is and I was hoping you'd be down for a lil outfit montage.

CORAL: Okay, cool cool cool. It'll be cool and not at all stressful to have the whole fam together.

Blah blah blah. Money is the first place I need to be. Where do you suggest I work? An office with a bunch of middle aged white men? NAH. Telemarketing is customer service. I’ll poison them over the phone. Don’t ask how, I’ll do it. I could, but why do something when you can do nothing?

I suggest you work in the opposite of customer service like nature intended. But, that could cut in to your nothing time and heaven forbid that happen.

WAIT, what did you think about me? You don’t like me? That makes me so sad. Um, sure! Maybe. I can make a decent force field. That’s defense!

Well, I liked you when you dated my brother, but the Hayward family solidarity clause states that in the event of a break up, I can no longer like or trust you. But, apathy is neither of those so I suppose that’s okay. Oh, well I have to map out a strategy for class, but that could come in handy on another day. 

Lame! Toe socks are cute. They all fuck with shit. This one fucks with emotions more than communication, but like. It’s still not a good time, especially when your brain is hooked up to the planets and they suddenly start spinning backwards. Venus is way more fun than Mercury, though. Fuck Mercury.

No, but you’re cute for thinking so. Well, that makes perfect sense actually. Why can’t Pluto go in to retrograde and bring everyone good luck?

Noted!  That movie is hilarious, so it must be something special if the movie was named after it.  Or did the movie the come first?  This is a real chicken and the egg situation.  In that case maybe I should save my edible experience and really make it special.  We have strange humans to thank for all sorts of things!  In the 1930s some weirdo attached a radio to his straw hat, so he could listen to music on the go.  We may just have him to thank for the iPod!  Now I can stroll around listening to my favorite film scores like it’s nobody’s business.  

You know what? I actually don’t know. Maybe it was made to coincide with the movie’s release. Hollywood has done crazier things! Great idea. You can save your edible for an even crazier movie. Or funnier. Whichever you’re more in to. Wow, seriously? Hats off to that guy! Wouldn’t it be really cool if he was somehow related to Steve?

You must’ve racked in some crazy good karma points, bro.  Good on you.  Look at you!  Maybe Mr. CC will let us snag some wine glasses from the main house. 

Fingers crossed. Is he invited slash attending, too, or is he still out saving the world?

CORAL: SOS HELP, emergency.

CORAL: I can't pick an outfit for our dinner party 😟

CORAL: I also realized I should probs invite my brother.

CORAL: I also realized that this text could technically serve as an invitation for my brother. Gideon, you up in my texts rn??? That would make my job a lot easier.

SONNY: Is this a segue in to you modeling every outfit you own while i sit on our bed and make faces at them? Because I'm so down for that.

SONNY: You should. We Comaros are used to eating with a small army so please bring him.

SONNY: I mean, BRO COME HANG OUT AND EAT.

CHARLIE: I'm all ears, ma petite soeur. Though if you prefer to wait until we've had a few glasses of wine in us that's completely understandable.

Soon enough there’ll be a software update and Bea will be back on top!  Are you kidding?  I’d love to have dinner with you and The Mrs.  I’m sure Cass would be chill with having a little dinner party!

My wife, my bro, his bomb ass cooking, and and alien princess? Karma loves me today. Just tell me when and we’ll be there. Probably with wine because we’re fancy married folks now.

CHARLIE: Wine is always fine by me!

CHARLIE: That only leads me to believe you have something that needs to be talked about. Am I correct?

What would you recommend for a first timer?  I would be lying if I said I’ve never been intrigued by edibles, but wouldn’t even know where to begin.  Help me Benji Kenobi you’re my only hope.  Is that so?  I’ve never heard that before but I’m more than willing to give it a try.  

Specifically? Pineapple Express. It’s a nice hybrid and there’s a ballin’ movie to go with it. Edibles are only cool the first time. After that it’s like me playing darts (I’m bad at darts and I hate edibles). Yep! Personally, I don’t see why anyone would drink warm milk in the first place so whoever discovered this is a strange human that I want nothing to do with, but who am I to judge?

Failure isn’t in my vocabulary, Sonshine.  However, I do have some beautiful handcrafted skull goblets to offer up.  Before you ask, no, they don’t look like they’ve come from a tacky Halloween store.  

That’s what I like to hear. Well, that and the music. For me?! You shouldn’t have! What would I ever do without you?