Rin Chocochips

Beth: [age 9] "Give me your hand. I'm going to tell your fortune."

Me: [gives her my hand] "OK. What's going to happen?"

Beth: [closes eyes, feels my palm] "In the next week..."

Me: "Yes?"

Beth: [slowly] "...you are..."

Me: "Yes?"

Beth: "...going to turn into a llama."

Me: "What?"

Beth: "A llama. A fire-breathing llama."

Me: "I'm going to turn into a dragon llama?"

Beth: "No, it's a dragollama."

Me: "You sure it's not a llamagon?"

Beth: "With two humps to store water. And wings."

Me: "Llamas don't have humps. You're thinking of camels."

Beth: [shrugging] "No, you're going to be a llama with humps."

Me: "So I'm going to turn into a flying fire-breathing llama-camel hybrid? I don't want to turn into a llamagon."

Beth: "It's not a llamagon. It's a dragollama."

Me: "Maybe it's a dragollamagon?"

Beth: "And you will have turtle shells on each hump, up above your wings."

Me: "So it's a turtellamagon?"

Beth: "No, it's still just a dragollama."

Me: "OK, look, this isn't really telling my fortune. You're supposed to tell me events that are going to happen, or people I'm going to meet. So, besides turning into a fire-breathing winged llama-camel-turtle with a crippling sense that I have no idea what I am or why I exist, what else can you tell me about the future?"

Beth: "You're going to help people."

Me: "Oh, good, that's better."

Beth: "You're going to set things on fire because you're a fire-breathing llama, but it will be an accident, and because you have water in your humps, you will be able to put out the fire too."

Me: "So I will help people by putting out the fires that I started by accident???"

Beth: "Yes."

Me: "Why don't I just NOT START THE FIRES to begin with?!?"

2 - Oni

1.Yûrei