kiss with a fist

Wow, now I’m beat for the cutest Submissive here. I mean -- I’m kidding. Kind of. Ignore that. Uh, what did you ask? Right, winning. You gotta have short cuts, that’s why they’re there, right? But I’m sure I could beat anyone’s ass, short cuts or not. Oh, and I never have on that damn thing that keeps you on the tracks. That’s a weak man’s game. 

Bit intense there, aren’t you? Uh.. right, favorite things. I like music? That’s too vague. I like rock music, I play a few instruments. What else do I like? Really into deep pan pizza right now. Always been a thin crust kinda girl and... wow, that’s like, insanely boring, right? Oh god. I like uh, I like movies too? I just like everything. Thinking of three favorite things is kinda making my head hurt.

That’s a pretty vague question, you know? Like are you being incredibly forward and asking if I’m into something I want to hide from my parents or just my favorite snack? You gotta be more specific there.

Clearly they were a little low on intelligence around here. More importantly, who let you in here? Do they not have pest control, huh? I missed you, idiot. 

♀️ RILEY GOOSLBY ➞ a character breakdown eleanor shellstrop - the good place | heather davis - cxg | robin scherbastsky - himym max black - 2 broke girls | alex russo - wizards of waverly place april ludgate - parks & rec | jade west - victorious | spencer hastings - pll

Well, I’m one of those legacy kids so this isn’t all that new to me if you do need a little help getting around. Mario Kart is the best choice, I wish there was some academy in that instead. I’d be leaving with honors. 

I don’t intend on staying here for too long but good to know. Mx, dig it. Never heard that one before. 

So many questions without so much as a name. I just finished Lightning Cup, that fuckin’ Rainbow Road gets me every time but I finally got it. I play as Bowser and who you say you play as will be vital information for deciding if we can be friends or not.

Can’t believe I’m actually at this fucking hellhole. I guess the polite thing to do is introduce myself, right? I’m the best Goolsby triplet, Riley. What else is there to say? I’m a submissive, I’m way shorter than my tree of a brother and I’m currently ignoring all of my responsibilities by winning every Grand Prix on Mario Kart.