rikigarcia

Two nights ago was fire. We went bar hopping, Evan and I. After four unsuccessful trips to find a place, we ended up at Packo's in QC.

Our first stop was Pardon My French in Jupiter Street in Makati. It's a rock and roll night. We made a reservation for two. Got in. Found our seats. It took us less than 10 minutes to get out of there and look for another place. The place is elegant, very classy. Very French. We are simply not keen to be in a place that looks like a wedding reception that night. 😅 That's for another day.

We headed to Saguijo in Makati. It was closed that night. So was Block 123 in Mandala Park in Mandaluyong. Mow's and Motorista were closed too.

We ended up at Packo's. I've been to Packo's several times with my ABS-CBN visual effects friends. We always get a seat at the veranda, outside the closed door bar where everyone watches the live band. My ears like soft sounds now. I like the murmurs and the sound of cars passing by while enjoying Packo's spicy squid and hotdogs with chili beef.

Evan and I got a table inside. The band started playing. The table to my left looked like they had too much to drink already. Banging the bottles on their table. This rarely happens in a wedding reception. We're too far away from Pardon My French now. Besides it's late already to go back there. I am always aware of my surroundings. Those spy and action movies taught me well. 😂 So I befriended the two John Wick-ish guys at the table to my right. It's always nice to have a John Wick ally in a place like this. Two John Wicks are always better than one. Turned out they're cool bros too.

Something funny. This new friend bro keeps asking me if were truly a Filipino. He said I don't look like one. I said I am 100% Filipino.

He sang on stage and egged me to sing too.

Well, what the heck. I'm down bro. 🤣

I went up the stage and sang. Light my fire by Jim Morrison. Evan filmed me. Lol.

When I came down the stage and went back to my seat at our table, we were hilariously laughing. Especially when Evan told me that our cool bro beside the table came up to him and asked him, "Pinoy ba talaga sya?" 🤣😂

I have been writing since 2007 when Evan was one and a half years old. This is my 200th short story rookiedaddyhood. My adventure with Evan. My Rookiedad writings are becoming less and less frequent. He's a young man now. A kind one. He took the good genes after his mom. That's what I have always prayed for.

In june of 2007, I wrote a blog about the songs I wanted to play with Evan when he grows up. It's here. https://rikigarcia.tumblr.com/post/33291718856/top-x-number-of-songs-i-want-to-play-with-evan

We have had a few attempts to play together with this friends. They rehearsed Territorial Pissings but we were not able to play it.

For 5 months now, Evan and I have not been able to train in jiujitsu and basketball because it is still prohibited and unsafe to go out due to corona virus pandemic.  Evan has started his online school classes. We get to practice playing guitar during weekends, holidays and after his daily online class is finished. 

We recently started playing chess against each other - online even if we are staying together at home. We downloaded this app called Chess - Play & Learn. The game has 10 million users worldwide its features are very handy and we have everything we need to enjoy a chess game almost as fun as having a physical chess board. 

I and my wife taught Evan how to play chess when he was little using our good old chess board with The Simpsons as characters. Yesterday was the first time we got to play chess again since he was small boy learning how to play the game. It’s been several years - I could not beat him in chess anymore. We played three games and I lost all three. 

It was very late at night already when we finished our third game and he told me he’s going to sleep. He did. Very happy and soundly. 

I am still awake trying to figure the many moves wrong chess moves I made during the game. 😳

Happily embarassed myself to the delight of my nieces and nephew and my siblings 😅

Yesterday was the first time all eight of us siblings, their spouses, three of my nieces, my nephew and Papa got together since Mama’s passing and subsequent online video family prayers for her.

They are all camera shy and Facebook and social media is not very much their thing. 😄

We had the whole day to ourselves to celebrate our youngest siblings birthday, Father’s Day, our second youngest sibling’s birthday and of course, Mama’s life and memories.

Everyone had a treat from each other’s delicious food. My brothers, they cook amazing porkchop bbq and pekwat. We had cakes, baked sushi, mango ice cream dessert, empanada. We cooked Tempura from Tokyo Tempura, Sodeska Gyoza, marinated chicken from Rakenrola and others. All blockbuster delicious!

We gathered around the table forever by the grill with social distancing. 😀

Meron kaming porkchop at pekwat. Next time may siopao na at burger. 😊

Community quarantine and lockdown gave us some time to pause and ponder. Time to look at old photos, reminisce memories of family, relatives, friends, teenage angst, domestic rebellion without a cause and old band mates.

In the early 90s, during college years, my friends and I started a music group. Okay, it’s a band. We formed a punk group called TekaTeka. We were inseparable band of brothers. 

Francis played the bass (he can play any musical instrument), Maiko was the drummer, Jun played rhythm guitar, I played a little bit of rhythm guitar but my real task is to shout (sing) and Dondon played the lead guitar like Paul Gilbert from Mr. Big 😁. 

We always had friends and other musicians around us who we practiced or played music together. Karlito Mendoza (Mapua Football Team Captain and one of first drummers for Rivermaya), Dodong Cruz (The Dodong Cruz), Jojo Salazar, Edsel Cortez, (the original members of) Advent Call, Ampalaya Juice, Paul “KNK” Magat, Noel Libanan, Dondon Sindac, Balahiboompuza and many others. 

We would get invited to play at the UP Fair in the sunken garden alongside the then up and coming Parokya ni Edgar, well known group called Color It Redd, Grupong Pendong, Tame the Tikbalang, Feet Like Fins, Inquisition, After Image, Tribal Fish, Dahong Palay and many others. We shared the stage in a concert with Rivermaya when Bamboo was their frontman and the Philippine Violators together with our punk band friends, Jet Torres, Randy Jardeleza, Vincent Lara and many others. It was an honor even the mere mention of TekaTeka among those great ones. Many of them became famous and made a career in the music industry.

We’d play in small music scenes, concerts and school events that always had mosh pits and audience who were teens like us who liked punk and rock music. While it was always the usual ‘wild’ music event, we were always sober. There were also groups like us who had mineral water instead of Red Horse or Rum at the backstage while waiting for their turn. 😅 

We never took drugs. We made a pact to stay out of it till the end of our days. We used our group to share our little pact with others by having to shout out to the audience a constant phrase every single time we played on stage - “Stay away from drugs! Study Hard!” 😅 That was our signature line. It was not a very popular farewell line in a punk music event at that time. A few called it really corny, but we really didn’t mind. 😁

That phrase, corny and annoying to some, gained us our little share of unexpected ‘fans’. We were given the most genuine appreciation by the moms and dads who would come up to us on stage and would personally thank us for shouting it out loud to everyone, including their teenage kids, in the audience.😍 It was heartwarming.

Remembering old friends puts a smile on my face. ☺️  Those were fun times. This video on Youtube sums it all up. 😅

I want to thank all of our family and friends for the overflowing love and condolences over the past few days. It meant a lot to our family in this incredibly difficult time of grief and mourning.

Mama was my very first teacher. She taught me how to write my name for the first time. She took me to church and introduced me to St. Therese youth ministry when I was a little boy, taught me how to play the piano and taught me how to sing.

She always asked me to sing along with her “The sun’ll come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be sun!..” as she played the piano. That’s the song Tomorrow from musical Annie. That’s the first song that Mama taught me how to sing. It was our first music.

That plucky little brave girl Annie was like Mama. Mama had the strongest and most resilient spirit. She taught and showed us determined courage in the face of difficulties and the will to triumph over challenges. The sun always comes out no matter what. She taught all of us grit and compassion.

She was a protector of her family. When warranted, she would turn from little cute Annie into a fierce Amazon warrior to defend her family.

She had the most contagious smile and laugh around the house. She laughed at all our jokes no matter what. We always felt special, cared for and loved in her own ways. We are grateful for all and every minute we spent with her.

That was how we felt around her - that we are all important and loved. That was how she made everybody feel when she was around. Regardless whether you’re the Pope or an ordinary person, she would come up to you and initiate genuine conversation. It’s almost certain that she genuinely smiled at you had you met her or talked to her. She made everyone around her feel important and cared for.

To our family, she was the best cook in the world. She cooked and fed Papa and all eight of us, her children, with the most delicious home cooked meals.

She was our greatest fan and cheerleader. She believed in all of us - she always believed that all her children will do something good in the world. That we will achieve all our dreams and we can be whatever we want.

As we put Mama to rest, her spirit, her love, her kindness lives on in the memories and stories of family and friends of how she touched our lives.

We honor you, Mama. In our own little ways, we will make the place around us a little bit better and happier just like you did when you were around us for the years that you lived. We love you. I love you.

I got my first stripe in jiu-jitsu last October 30, 2019. Being one of the “elderly” students in our school, Jack Taufer Jiu-Jitsu, I hope that this could be an inspiration to others. That it is never too late nor too early to start doing and to learn new skills for development, to learn from mistakes and to adopt a beginner’s mind and not be shy about it.

I am lucky to have both jiu-jitsu mentors and business mentors guiding me every step of the way. From countless days of hardships and challenges, many things have changed and results of hardwork are gradually coming to fruition.

I have learned from them that continuous effort unlocks potentials. Showing up at the door to roll despite body sores or continuously working hard to build a small business while hurdling through extreme business challenges is key to progress

From Ray Dalio, he says,

pain + reflection = progress.

Congratulations, Evan for earning your first stripe. Thank you Team Werewolf, Coach Kevin and Coach Iya, and the whole Wolves family for guiding and teaching him every step of the way. This is a milestone and it only proves that hardwork truly pays off. Easy ka lang muna kay daddy sa sparring, matututo din ako. I love you. 😅❤️🐺🙏🏼. WoOf!!

Sums up our father and son love for each other on the mat. :)

2019 school break has been one of the meaningful and enjoyable summers with Evan. We found Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Makati and joined this wonderful family of tough yet gentle “killers” under the leadership and guidance of Sensei Kevin and Iya - two of the most generous, down to earth human beings with mad jiu-jitsu and martial arts skills we’ve had the privilege to meet. Mom, although she doesn’t train with us, seems to be enjoying it from the side too; she giggles and pokes fun at me when she hears I get mauled by our thirteen year old son whenever we get a chance to spar on the mat.

Photo credit: LuckyPhilip Cabrera

I wanted Evan to learn how to fight so that he would never have to fight in the streets like I stupidly did when I was young. In hindsight, getting into a street fight is sometimes due to lack of knowledge, lack of self discipline and lack of self restraint from provocation. The best way to resolve a conflict is winning a war without ever going into a battle. Being ignorant and untrained, I learned those lessons a long time ago the hard way and at one point I ended up seeing stars courtesy of a well-placed uppercut. Yep, the stars you see when someone gets hit in the face in cartoon animations exist in real life.  Jiu-jitsu and martial arts teach you humility, self discipline and self control - like a Jedi. I pray that Evan learns these lessons well.

Photo Credit: Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Makati

Sensei Kevin told me Evan is a natural. I do not disagree. When he was four years old, Evan had done submission attacks on me even while we were sleeping.

I was skeptical (of myself being able train) and a bit anxious to join the academy. My knees, ankles, elbows and hips were all telling me to just go home and plant kamote instead. On the first day, I decided to just wing it and see what happens.

Photo credit: Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Makati

I was a bit sore on the first day. Just a little bit. No big deal. It have not had any regular physical activity since I stopped playing basketball a very long time ago. I would have given up already and find myself somewhere else on a regular day. But that first day of training with the ‘wolves’ was anything but regular. It was a special day. The pain from sore muscles went away as days and weeks of continuous trainings went by. Suddenly I was able to move a little bit better. We kept coming back and are always looking forward to training for more since then.

Photo credit: Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Makati

It was special because Evan and I have found something we both enjoy and get to do together and talk about anytime. I once tried to be a “cool” dad by joining myself into Evan and his friends’ conversations about Minecraft and other video games - it was an epic fail.  Sometimes it’s bordering embarrassment for him. I can’t catch up with his guitar skills neither. Jiu-jitsu was a gift.

Evan and I found ourselves among awesome human beings in Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Makati. Everyone is out there to help you learn and grow not just your jiu-jitsu skills but in life in general. Jiu-jitsu is full of life metaphors about overcoming adversities. There is always hope in every situation. It pushes your limits with serious trainings and fighting yet you find glee getting beat up or surviving because you get a real sense of everyone trying to guide and help you become better every step of the way.

Photo credit: Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Makati

The family spirit in this academy is just awe-inspiring. It’s a pack of wolves protecting each other and sharing wisdom with one another. Being here sparks my curiosity, exercises humility and rekindles my spirit and joy of being a beginner again.

11 years later, rookiedad adventures continue. Same, same but different, as the saying goes. Same simple joys, different venues and conversations.

11 years ago, at two years old, Evan dominated everyday conversations from the time we all woke up until he fell asleep. He was the king of our household’s talk show. Forever curious. Everyday, we’d go out and walk in the nearby park. From picking up stones and painting them at home to stumbling upon dog’s poop and jumping over it together.  Or just walking and jumping around enjoying the sunshine and flowers around and a trip to the nearest Subway.

11 years later, I’m back to being the talk show host. Because, well, teenagers. They turn their curiosity on silent mode. Like we all did. But everyday we still go out together. Minus the jumping around or over a dog’s poop, we go out and head to the nearest Jollibee or McDo. We do not walk much anymore. We ride going to and coming from school. There is not many greens and flowers around everyday but there is always the same sunshine - up in the sky and right beside riding along with me.

I spent Father’s Day at home. It was like any other day. Any other day is absolutely a special day when I get to spend it with Evan and Emi. Everyday is a freaking awesome father’s day with these two. 

Emi had a lechon belly delivered at home. What better way to spend father’s day than spending it at home with Evan and his friends in the neighborhood who came over after their own celebration of father’s day? These boys love to play video games. They spend some weekends playing video games at each other’s homes. 

They were alternately playing games and playing piano. I invited myself to their group. I sometimes hear them say “Hey bruh, how’s school?” so I thought it was only proper that I do what the Romans do when in Rome so I introduced myself to their conversation and greeted them “Hey bruhs, how are you?”. I got surprised and amused looks and a “hello” from all of them. They quickly turned around and went back to their serious video game business and conversation. Evolution is really amazing. The word brother has evolved over the years from bro to brod to brad to brader and now bruh. Could bruhd be next?

I’m not a big video game fan. The only game I played and finished was Metal Gear Solid on Playstation1. Joining a video game conversation with these young men will be be awkward. The “Hey bruhs, how are you?” earlier gave away my struggle trying hard to be cool. Then I got to play the piano. I’m neither a piano player nor a gamer but I thought playing the piano will be less disastrous for me instead of jumping in their geeky game discussion without knowing a thing about it at all. I know a few chords and played.  I was entirely enjoying my time playing and singing terribly Pompeii by Bastille while these boys mind their video games. They eventually played the piano along with me. One by one, they came forward and showed off their mad piano skills. It’s freakin’ awesome. I recorded my singing and piano playing and accidentally some of the audio in the background.

Evan is turning 13 this year. He will soon become a teenager. His voice has started changing from a kid’s vocal pitch to a deep voice. I will miss his tiny pitchy baby voice and I look forward to seeing him grow and mature. He’s a better version of me. Way better. :) He took after his mom’s better character. That’s what I have always prayed for.  I cannot be more happy and grateful.

Happy Father’s Day, Bruh! :))

I got so used to eating Evan’s leftover food that even those that are not leftovers (food that he reserves for later), I unconsciously eat them too.

Last night he intended to put a stop to it.  He made sure that the next time I open the fridge, everything is crystal clear. :)