Number One Hater Of The English Pronoun System

give it up for girls with vaginas and boys with penises

pause i forgot cis people exist this was intended as a celebration of bottom surgery

i need to get into cars

they have doors which help with this

most of them are locked ive only gotten lucky like twice

good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........

Panties hit the FLOOR

you know it sister

makes your puppy dusty

Yeah its baically Dusty puppy thursday

Stop, drop, and roll also works when you are wet. It sort of spreads the water over the floor

May I please have 1 everything

Noah's Ark if every animal reproduced asexually

Interesting I like it

all that and i havent killed myself yet i must really love this stupid fucking life

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

Jigsaw is the villain from SAW. jigsaw. It’s not “Jingle caps” even though that’s what I just said out loud to someone.