&&.

the longer he thought about it the more this felt like some risky mistake that will later bite him or both of them in the ass but he didn’t want to think about that right now; after all, this was it. there was no going back anymore. jumin took the unlit cigarette from his lips placing it carefully into the pocket of his jacket, just in case he was going to need it later.  “oh hey,” he greeted with a shy smile on his features, “fancy meeting you here,” he teased as he looked around searching for the overgrown male that was the reason parker was here to begin with. “what? ares couldn’t take out five minutes of his busy schedule to come greet his childhood best friend?” he pouted jokingly as he made his way towards the redhead, rolling his luggage behind him. he wanted to keep a fair amount of distant between them and didn’t want to get too comfortably close to the other since he had no idea what they hell they were, just until the other day parker swore he hated jumin for everything shitty he ever did to him and jumin understood and respected that opinion; he hated himself too. it was hard to admit that knowing parker hated him actually hurt him but he didn’t deserve to feel that since he was the one who threw everything out the window.

a part of him wondered what the hell he was going to do now, did he fly out across the world just to be a booty call? not that he minded it since he’s literally done so much worse but deep down he hoped that that wasn’t the case. he wasn’t going to admit that he had written down every single little locations they could cram visiting in just those two days that the other would be in the country so he wanted to take him around his beautiful home. “i hope you’re ready for the most two most funnest days of your life.” he spoke his tone slightly cocky, “i’m going to make you wish you’d come with me to korea more often,” playfully nudging the other male.

closed starter ( @ricrdan )

what the hell was he doing back here? that was a good question that had no answer at the moment all he knew was that without hesitation he jumped into a flight back to korea just to see an ex. well, not just any ex but parker someone he swore hated him and wanted nothing to do with him but perhaps he was wrong? or perhaps he was utterly desperate to feel wanted for the first time in a long time. he was a notorious player and he had no shame in his well built reputation but sometimes life just got a little too lonely and that void couldn’t be closed by strangers. he needed something—someone who he gave him that feeling of comfort.  the flight was long and if there was anything he hated more than catching feelings was flying. sure, he knew he was safer up there than on the ground but was it really that safe? through out the flight the older male couldn’t help but think about everything he could show parker, you know, to show him a good time and go sightseeing while he showed him the best restaurants since he knew ares was not one to be a tour guide for anyone. 

once out of the plane, jumin made a beeline directly towards the luggage pick up.his phone in hand as he let parker know of his arrival to korea and  maybe it was a little too late but he was slowly regretting coming to see parker. they were exes what the hell was he doing? his stomach began to tie itself in what like infinite knots as he waited for his suitcase he packed in a last minute rush. once he got his hands on his suitcase the black haired male made his way towards the pick-line, spotting someone who seemed around his age smoking, it had been a long time since he last placed a cigarette between his lips but he was so anxious that right now he didn’t care, he needed something to get his mind off everything. “hey, can i have one?” he asked politely, the other male eyeing him before shrugging and handing jumin an unlit cigarette. he wasted no time in placing it between his lips just when he was about to ask the oh so generous male for a lighter his eyes focused on an all too familiar figure in front of him. 

travelling halfway across the world was probably one of the more ridiculous things parker had ever done, though he thinks maybe what made it so ridiculous was how last minute it had been and the fact that he hadn’t told anybody until he’d been there for three days. he was meant to be here with ares but the boy had been spending a lot of the time working or with his family which basically left parker fending for himself. he was in over his head and ready to go home, but all of that changed when jumin had said that he’d booked a flight and was on his way. which, parker shouldn’t be excited about, should he? last time he checked, he hated the boy. he was the only person he ever felt genuine love for and he completely broke his heart. however when they began talking again recently (and after they’d hooked up), he was noticing changes within himself. changes within his thoughts and feelings. it was definitely overwhelming but he was determined to figure them all out. and maybe the only way to do that was with jumin at his side. or maybe this was all one big mistake. regardless, he would find out. 

“yeah, but it might be better if i leave. i keep fucking things up. i know you think i don’t care about the ghost hunting and the team, but i don’t want to drag it down.” kieran pressed against his sprain wrist. the pain making him feel something. not better, but he felt like he deserved it and couldn’t move on without it. “or at least take a break. i don’t know. i don’t know what to do.” he quickly and subtly wiped away the tears threatening to fall. “i should go…” he mumbled then quickly added incase those words made it sound like he was avoiding the problem. “unless we have more to talk about. i don’t know.”

kieran was already slightly unsteady on his feet from nerves so the push had him stumbling back and he tripped over his own feet. landing on his sprained wrist, a small whimper of pain escaped but he quickly covered it up. he stayed on the ground but went to a cross legged seat position. “i know. i know i did all that and i’m so fucking selfish. i was only thinking about my own emotions.” he spoke, not looking up at parker. “i just assumed you’d take everything more friendly and i shouldn’t have. but there’s nothing i can say or do to make it better. i can’t turn back time and punch myself for being so dumb. if there is anything i can do to make things right again i will. if you want me to leave the group, i can do that. never speak to you again, i can do that too. whatever you want.” 

kieran let out a soft sigh at being let in. he closed the door behind him but didn’t move any further than that in case parker decided to change his mind. “again, i’m sorry i made this a whole mess. i-i should’ve let us talk about it. but after that night when you came over drunk i freaked out cause i was so vulnerable. you knew stuff that no one else did and still don’t. it’s not an excuse. i know, i’m trying to make it an excuse cause even after that there was everything at the hospital and such. i always think the best way to fix something is avoid it.” a soft laugh escapes his lips as he shakes his head. “that never works out. i should really learn my lesson by now.” he then looked back to parker.  “i was trying to move on, avoid a conversation i was scared that would happen, and not make things awkward between us, but i should’ve talked to you. which is what i’m doing now before i decide if i want to be a hermit or go back to theatre sound or stay in the group. and if you want to punch me or yell at me or do real damage and call me a crazy dumbass, here you go. i won’t fight back. say or do whatever you want.” he finished his rambling apologize, looking away from parker. body tensing up in fear of what the other might say or do.

kieran opened his mouth to fight back, but quickly decided that would not go anywhere good. he came to apologize and clear the air, not get into another fight. “i came to talk it out. please. we have to talk about this and not as a fight. i don’t even know why i started that fight. i’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve it. i never took your emotions into my actions. i’ve been dumb and selfish and i’m so sorry.” tears were springing up to his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. now wasn’t the time for tears, plus he was concerned crying could make him look manipulative. “we need to talk about it. if anything for the sake of the team. everyone is telling me about negative ghost energy like the sallie house.”  

kieran couldn’t stop the smile on his face. he scooted as close to parker as he could. “you’re really trying to make me cry. i’ve barely slept, that house messed with me, and now this? this is too much for me to handle.” kieran whispered, tears threatening to fill his eyes. but then how can he cry when parker making the red panda plush kiss him on the cheek. “you’re really trying here.” he whined, hiding his face in parker’s chest but the smile was still on his face, starting to make his cheeks hurt but he was too happy to even care.

kieran froze, the words overwhelming him and decision to name the red panan kiki. it was too much for him and his overly affectionate heart. he couldn’t find any words to say, nothing described what he felt and he was feeling a lot of things. from the whole sallie house to not getting much sleep and now this. in an impulsive decision that had kieran placing a quick peck to parker’s cheek cause he couldn’t exactly hug the other tightly in fear of hurting his arm. “you’re gonna make me cry.” he then said, laying his head on parker’s shoulder. “you can’t just say and do things like that.” 

kieran subconsciously played with the back of parker’s hair. “i’m not mad. you have a concussion and you’re on meds. i think you’re allowed to forget things. i’m used to things like this.” he replied with a shrug, worried that parker was forgetting things so quickly, but kieran didn’t know much about medicine. he left that up to doctors. “just don’t go forgetting me, yeah?” he joked softly, but there was a small plea in it. he might be used to the times where he’d visit his mom and she’d think he’s an impostor and not actually her son, but that didn’t mean it it didn’t hurt. it might not be the same situation as now, but kieran was still slightly worried about being forgotten.

kieran nodded, but he wouldn’t think about it. parker was definitely still invited, he might just have to get his mom to scheme with him to get parker to accept. kieran wrapped an arm around parker and was in the middle of figuring out how to plan out the scheme. then the question broke him out of his thoughts. “i gave you it when i came in, said it was red and cute like you.” he replied, tilting his head to look at the male. “do you not remember?”

seeing parker cry and hearing what he was saying, kieran decided it didn’t matter if he overstepped boundaries in that moment. he moved to sit on the edge of the bed and gently held parker’s hand, not sure how he’d hug the other in this sort of situation. “i’m not gonna say if ghosts are real or not, i don’t know anymore. i also don’t have the right words to say. all i can do is be here for you and promise you that my mom would love you to pieces. she’ll hate me if i don’t bring you along.”

“shut up you dummy.” kieran said with a shake of his head. this might be something to bring up when parker didn’t have a concussion and was on meds. he had to make sure that parker knew he meant something to kieran. maybe not romantically, but he definitely meant something to him. “you don’t know my mom. she’ll love you and you mean a lot to me so you’ll mean a lot to her.” he said softly, for a second going to hold parker’s hand but didn’t, worried he might overstep a boundary. 

kieran noticed parker’s reaction. he wasn’t sure what was going on, but he put it up to the meds the other was on. often kieran had to witness his mom on meds and depending on the psychiatrist with what they used, her moods could vary drastically. “it’s fine. it was when i was younger so i don’t get them anymore.” now he’ll just get normal nightmares sometimes,,,most nights, but he could handle them. “maybe when we get back i can take you to meet her. or soon she might be moved units and i can sign her out for a day. you can come along and witness the amazing ahn family picnics.”

kieran laughed and shook his head at ares and his ways. seeing parker physically in front of him holding the plushie, kieran’s nerves that had been on edge the whole night and most of the day calmed down. sure parker look banged up, but it didn’t seem as bad as it could’ve been. “ah, meds always have weird side effects. the first meds i got prescribed gave me nightmares. it was awful until my mom yelled at a doctor to change them cause they just thought i was being an imaginative child.” he spoke a little more freely around parker. the other probably remembered his biggest secret so there wasn’t much else he could reveal that would be worse. though just cause parker knew doesn’t mean if it got brought up kieran wouldn’t dash out of the room. “huh? yeah, she called me this morning to check up on me and i explained what happened the other night. she also says you sound like a nice boy and i have to take you to meet her one day cause she never meets my friends.” he smiled, remembering his talk with his mom.