Carbs hate me

fall in love again and again...

just very *chin in hands, kicking my feet* about the mental image of shane reading his book in one hand and the other just resting over the giant mountain of hockey player sharing this previously one person hoodie with him, with ilya's like. whole head and shoulders and most of his back covered.

Shane is such a Protector and Provider. He’s the one who carries the suitcase. He’s the one with the sensible car for safety and comfort. He’s the one with the big house where they can go. He knows how & builds the campfire. He’s the one who buys the food and cooks the meals - even if he could’ve cut the recipe in half. Yes, he’s the world’s biggest bottom and he lovesss to get fucked, but he doesn’t fall into the stereotypes of bottom = feminine at all.

When you think about it, Shane being the Provider is a big part of his whole life. He’s the team Captain and provides the wins & $$$. His mother is his manager, and he’s her only client. His salary & brand deals are the income for both of them. His dad works for the govt. He’s the one footing the bill for that Chablis at the nice restaurant. He’s the one whose name gets them in and pays for things like a Wimbledon trip. He doesn’t resent it, but he does feel the weight of it. But not with Ilya.

Protecting and providing for Ilya is easy for Shane. It comes naturally. This is important for Ilya, who has been the Provider for his own family — which is exploited and abused repeatedly over many years. He feels like he’s always giving so much (bolshe bolshe bolshe) and not only is it thankless, it’s completely unreciprocated by anyone except Svetlana. No one provides anything for Ilya, emotional or material, and CERTAINLY no one protects him.

It makes you wonder about how vulnerable Ilya was when he was younger & unprotected. When his mother died and he was persuaded to lie by the person who was hardest on her, who was also the hardest on him. When he was acting out, engaging in risky sex and looking for trouble. When that didn’t get him the attention or care that he sought. When his own brother hated him, and he knew why. When he was never good enough, always “lazy,” not winning when he was supposed to even though he won a LOT.

Ilya was still the Provider, even then. He still looked out for his father who he could tell was ailing. He still gave his brother money. He still set aside a trust for his niece. No one was providing anything for him in return. So is it any wonder when Mr Hey Heyyy Will You Come to my Cottage offers him ANY solace, even a SHRED of comfort, Ilya is putty in his hands? “Are you hungry? The drive is 2 hrs” “How are your ribs?” Of course, Shane is actually offering a LOT of comfort & security.

“Here,” Shane offers easily. “Here is a place where you can be safe. Where you can be vulnerable. Where you can be fully held for the first time since you were 12. You can be honest about what you’re thinking & feeling. You can be warm by this fire. I’ll protect you from that noise that scared you. You don’t need to be scared. I’ll rub your shoulder & pet your hair & hold your hand while you tell me about the worst thing that ever happened to you.

Some reporter asks "What's it like having a gay couple in the locker room" and a rookie gets all teary eyed and sputtering and goes "it's FUCKED UP man. FUCKED UP." And bursts into tears

ilya + shane's chest

The whole team settles in with rapt attention, ready to roast the shit out of Roz over it via group chat, only to see. Well. It's a series of interview clips over the years. It's made up exclusively of three things. One, clips of Hollander "stealing" linguistically challenging questions that the whole team knows Rozanov hates. Two, clips of Rozanov derailing questions that are about Hollander's "representation of his community," which gossip on the street says makes Hollander uncomfortable. Three, Hollander and Rozanov commenting individually on the rivalry, with vicious comments such as. "He's of course a great player, but he'll find us difficult to beat." Such fire in Rozanov's comments are especially damning, given his whole chirp-king-schtick. The video editor, with all the obsession and perception of a true fangirl, makes sure to circle every instance where you can see the shadow of Hollander and Rozanov pressing their feet together - and in one instance holding hands - beneath the interview table. (You wouldn't see it unless you're looking for it - or unless someone circles it in red for you.)

The video finishes, and the team sits in a kind of shocked silence as the next video auto-plays. This one is a compilation of Rozanov chirping Hollander on the ice. Here, the editor has helpfully drawn an arrow to Hollander's face whenever he blushes. The editor has also inserted text overlays with comments like. "Look at how fiercely Rozanov insults his rival." And then puts smaller arrows pointing to Roz's body language, with helpful texts like "excited wiggle indicating absolute fury," and "besotted grin indicating deep hatred." The sarcasm is distressingly accurate in its point.

(Listen, the whole team knows what Roz looks like when he's chirping someone. This - this is not it. This is not it at all. This is him when he's being silly with people he really likes. What is going on.)

The video finishes, and this time someone has the presence of mind to stop the auto-play before another mind-breaking thing comes up.

Someone else, trying to lighten the silence with a joke, and maybe dismiss it all as a fever dream, says, "Montreal Jane? More like Montreal Shane, am I right?"

And. Well.

Once it's out there, there's no coming back from it.

I’m imagining her/maybe Shane playfully ribbing him about how he has no real financial manger or decent investments and what do you MEAN you just let a paycheck like that sit in your account while buying luxury cars every five minutes no wonder your net worth is shockingly low for your value, etc etc. and he’s not even offended he’s surprised and pleased that his new family is so invested in him and also enjoys watching where Shane gets some of his crazy. Like Ilya Mommy Issues Rozanov is “yes please ma’am optimize my finances and worry about my wellbeing harder” while he shovels whatever David made for dinner in his mouth.

But then at some point while she’s (lovingly) harping on his financial irresponsibility he just kind of quietly mentions that actually so much of his paycheck was going back home to his family when he was younger that he needed to blow shit on cars or whatever pretty quick if he didn’t want it to disappear. And she realizes that yeah he’s a little dummy who spent a concerning amount of money on VIP sections last year and thinks bank account interest is investing but he was also a child supporting his entire family in a foreign country with no one bothering to look out for his best interest or explain planning for a future.

David gets treated to impassioned rants every night about how “David I’m not convinced anyone even read that boy his contract in Russian”.

She starts managing him as well, obviously, and she’s kind of disturbed by how easily he just signs whatever she puts in front of him and doesn’t bother asking questions before agreeing to hand over all his management to her. He just seems thrilled she got him a Lamborghini partnership and an invite to fashion week.

The only time he puts up a fuss is when he realizes she’s not planning to take any significant cut of his money because “you’re family sweetheart” and he looks like he got smacked in the head with a shovel and has to go outside on the porch with Shane for a suspiciously long period of time.