* A U B A D E

                         ιғ үσυ ωαηт тσ sнιηε ℓιкε α sυη,                                         ғιяsт в υ я η ℓιкε α sυη.

am i walking toward something i should be running away from?

fear is the relinquishment of logic, the willing relinquishing of reasonable patterns. we yield to it or we fight it, but we cannot meet it halfway.

no one would ever find me there.

all i could think of when i got a look at the place from the outside was what fun it would be to stand out there and watch it burn down.

i have told lies and made a fool of myself.

why do people want to talk to each other? i mean, what are the things people always want to find out about other people?

don’t let me know too surely what he thinks of me. 

people are always so anxious to get things out into the open where they can put a name to them, even a meaningless name, so long as it has something of a scientific ring.

if any of you has trouble sleeping, i will read aloud to you.

i clear breakfast at ten o'clock. i set on lunch at one. dinner i set on at six. it’s ten o'clock.

how do you gentlemen like living in a haunted house?

it gives me an excuse to have a drink in the middle of the night.

nothing upsets me more than being hungry; i snarl and snap and burst into tears.

i am a kind of stray cat, aren’t i?

i do not understand words and will not accept them in trade for my feelings.

i think we are only afraid of ourselves.

she loves beautiful things and i would go with her to find them.

we could go anywhere we pleased, to the edge of the world if we liked, and come back when we wanted to.

i never expected to find you all so nervous.

no one can catch me now; they don’t even know which way i’m going.

it is really unbelievably difficult to get accurate information about a haunted house.

it’s quite a hazard, quite a hazard indeed, people knocking you down.

losing my temper will not help.

i wonder how long she is going to stay?

and how long will you be able to stay?

all i want is to be cherished, and here i am talking gibberish with a selfish man.

first she stole her sister’s lover, and then she tried to steal her sister’s dishes.

i swear i saw bats in the woodwork.

people like answering questions about themselves, what an odd pleasure it is.

people have to live and die somewhere, after all.

what will you give me to remember you by?

you are not going to catch me so cheaply.

“I don’t even know where the hell she came from.”

“How long do we have to risk bodily harm?”

“He hasn’t contacted me, but that’s what he does. Pops up, disappears. Pops up, disappears.”

“She never even had an awkward phase.”

“This if the fifth time she’s called today.”

“The last thing you need right now is a conversation with pathological narcissist.”

“She’s like a stalker I used to live inside of.”

“Now basically she has the life you could have had but ruined with all your ridiculous choices.”

“Thanks for the salt in the wound.”

“Let’s do something to cheer you up.”

“Subject is approaching and appears dejected.”

“I decided to eat my feelings and turns out my feelings are pork rinds, whoopie pies, and mac & cheese.”

“What do you do when you’re feeling bad?”

“You shouldn’t use Tinder for dates –– it’s for sex.”

“You’re looking for someone to, like, pound the bad feelings out of you.”

“I’m gonna go put on a thong, or maybe I won’t wear any underwear.”

“She demonstrates lack of judgement combined with poor impulse control.”

“Do you want to get weird?”

“Hey, sexy stranger. I hope you’re not a murderer.”

“Please don’t be a murderer, please don’t be a murderer.”

“Is that a gun? Oh, thank god, it’s just your penis.”

“Keep yourself horny, stay in the mood.”

“I think it’s time for me to start making healthier choices and you’re not a healthy choice.”

“I came to the decision that I need to be making healthier choices, so I stayed up all night and did some research.”

“I have turned over enough leaves in my life for a whole forest.”

“I have a very positive attraction to her but I also kind of want to punch her in the arm.”

“Saw your pictures. They looked like outtakes from a porn shoot.”

“Are you guys talking about drugs? Because drugs are bad.”

“You sound like that weird butter commercial.”

“I like you and I know I shouldn’t.”

“I don’t want to like you. You’re not that nice to me and you’re weird.”

“I tell myself to stop thinking about you but every time you show up it’s like, boom, feelings.”

“Maybe you can just settle for me.”

“So that was what, a $2000 mistake?”

“Can you just stop telling me what to do?”

“This is the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

“This is the second best thing to do in town besides leave.”

“With my luck, it’ll rain on the one day I plan an outdoor date in the middle of a five-year drought.”

“Let’s engage in some date conversation.”

“I don’t do cauliflower. It’s like albino broccoli.”

“You’re blowing my mind right now.”

“That’s gonna be our little secret, okay?”

“How could guys with man buns know what’s authentic?”

“I liked you better when you were being a nice person.”

“You can be a bit of a hypocrite.”

“You have to admit –– you’re not exactly steeped in honesty.”

“This whole vibe is weird and sad.”

“Take a hint, dude.”

“You took some guy home on our date and slept with him? What is wrong with you?”

“I make no sense, and you shouldn’t waste time on me.”

“Do you ever have one of those days where you’ve done something so horrible it feels like you did it in a dream, and you just want to wake up? Except there is no waking up because you did it for realsies?”

“It’s a little pretentious.”

“VCRs? There’s no such thing.”

“I know nothing about life.”

“I make awful decisions. Like, really awful decisions.”

“I’m kind of a mess.”

“You’re the smartest most badass girl I know.”

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