people suck

at her comment, archer couldn’t help but chuckle. it would’ve been nice to keep it up, yet with everything that had been going on, he was simply happy he could still get it. “i was just wondering ‘cause it seemed like you slipped right through my fingers and that would’ve been a shame.” he teased, leaning on the counter as he waited for his own coffee. “anything interesting? i’ve been having some family issues but what’s new.”

archer waited for her to get her things before he stood up and started walking towards the door, opening it up for parker. when they stepped out of mocha, he pointed towards his car. “i’m thinking fries and beer, we can stop by your favorite place on our way to my apartment. what do you say?”

everyone else’s words meant absolutely nothing to archer. marnie was the most important person to him and there she was, snapping again for something he had done. perhaps he did overstep some boundaries this time around and with ainsley of all people. perhaps it was just the bomb that needed to destroy everything for them. at her words, archer fell silent, chewing on the inside of his lower lip so harshly he could taste blood. “you know what, since this turned out to be a fucking therapy session — maybe i’m jealous of whatever the fuck you have going on right now. you’re dating someone your father fucking worships which in turn, has made you better in his eyes and oh, what a goddamn surprise! archer ‘the family disappointment’ wilson doesn’t fit in that perfect little picture. this has never about me trying to push you away, you idiot. i’m just dying for you to ask how the fuck i’m doing ‘cause in case you haven’t noticed, i’m not fine at all.”

archer nervously chewed on the inside of his cheek, not really knowing what to do with himself as she started to process what he had just told her. “this... isn’t a poly relationship, mia. you’re not even my girlfriend, what kinda block are you talking about? like i don’t... i don’t think you understand the position you are putting me in. you’re living with a dude that still thinks you’re gonna marry him at some point and you have me waiting around for whenever you muster up the courage to tell him you’re done. i don’t... think i can handle it too much longer if i’m honest and this is breaking my fucking heart so yeah, maybe we do need to think about whatever the fuck this is.”

“i’ll get you one right away.” he smiled, listening to her for a moment. “you can always tell ‘em i’m gonna take you somewhere and you’re so very sorry you won’t be able to attend.” archer had always been great with excuses and wiggling himself out of family plans, he was happy to share that with her. “you look incredible, sab, and you’ll feel like a million bucks after a grilled cheese. gimme a moment.” he pressed a light kiss to her forehead before he ran to the kitchen. it took him less than ten minutes to come back to bed with a sandwich and a cup of coffee for her. “here you go, princess.”

archer smiled at the sight of kiara, it was always nice to see a friendly face. “hey you! have you been running away from me?” he teased, taking a sip of his own coffee. “how’s life been?”

“let me eat one last taco. i’ll spend the rest of my life getting enchiladas & chalupas after that, no problem.”

“i’m sorry you think it’s fucked up that i sleep with people’s sisters.” archer pouted, a hint of both terror and excitement as he tested marnie, clearly not remorseful in the slightest. “i’ll go but don’t come yelling at me through text messages when you could say whatever you’re feeling right to my fucking face.”

“no phones allowed for you.” he said, attempting a strong, authoritative tone but quickly cracking a laugh right away. he spent the next couple of minutes turning his phone in her direction whenever he found a funny picture or a video for her to see until she was finally done. “chop, chop, peter. the bottle’s calling.”

“okay, i see how it is now — if i stay, it’s unfortunate. if i leave, i’m a fucking asshole. i really can’t get it right here, huh?” he sighed as he recalled the heated argument they had when he didn’t make it for the holidays. “the mice i feed him are way smaller, don’t be stupid. that’s too much for him and i don’t want my kid to struggle.” he tried to sound funny to clear the air but he was almost sure it wouldn’t happen. “okay, then what can i do to fix it?”

“okay, i’ll let you work in peace.” he flashed her a bright smile as he pulled up his phone and opened instagram to distract himself so she would finish grading her papers quicker. he hoped she would, anyways.

“yeah, the fucking groom.” he threw his head back onto the couch. “we had a bit of a misunderstanding if you will, he punched me and i got really fucking drunk ‘cause it hurt and i wasn’t tryna’ act like a lil’ bitch. anyways, you know i get... a bit touchy feely when i’m drunk and i...” he let out a deep breath, not knowing how mia would take it. “i slept with two people last night and i feel like i shouldn’t even be telling you this in the first place ‘cause, well, you’re still engaged and we didn’t say anything about being exclusive, but i’ve been feeling so guilty all day today. that’s a first for me and i thought it’d be best to come talk to you about it.”

“yet i’m here right now, aren’t i?” archer retorted, clicking his tongue. it was slightly too bold of him and he was fully aware of it, his smile turning into a smirk as he waited for her to respond. “i can babysit if you want, i’m sure he and fernie would be the best of friends.”

“oh, i’m sure they hated me. weren’t you a really good ass student and shit back then?” he remembered parker’s face now but he had no recollection of how she used to be at school whatsoever. “okay, deal.” he took a sip from his cup, looking over at her as she went through her students’ papers.

“whatever you’re in the mood for.” archer lazily said, now opening his eyes to take a look at her in the still rather dark room. “i didn’t mean it like that, you idiot. i know your mom’s not into dudes and even if she was, i wouldn’t do you dirty like that. i can join you, though. i don’t have any other plans.”