👑

Oh, he’s good.

I don’t know whether he deserves an Oscar or a restraining order.

I die laughing at this every god damn time. The prayer hands are so fucking funny

yea bud! i was on the grind nonstop for a few months until my body said haha watch THIS! and took me out of work for 3 weeks

If you don’t make time for your wellness, you will make time for your illness.

BIG MOOD: me + you + a cabin in the mountains, sitting in the hot tub, drink in hand, not a care in the world

my mom is so mad shes like “why does your brother post such dumbass memes” jhgfghgfdsdfghj

i love pdfs

most tender file format :(

pdfs be like 📂💌📃❤️📎📁📑❣️🍓

Teschers who say "only 60% of this class is going to pass" ok? I guess you're very bad at your job then? Imagine a baker would say "only 60% of my bread can be eaten" or a carpenter says "60% of my furniture can be used" well? Your job is to TEACH, your job is to give the knowledge you have to other people. Yes, some people might not pass but you should try to teach it to them in the best way possible. Your goal should be to get the people through the class, to encourage them, not to give them anxiety and fear about you, your class and your exams.

cunningly avoiding tooth decay by going to bed with a single square of chocolate on my tongue for the bacteria to snack on instead of my teeth

Fun fact! The bacteria in your mouth dont eat your enamel! They only eat sugars and such. The stuff that eats your enamel is the byproduct produced by the digestive process of the bacteria. In other words, the thing that causes tooth decay is the bacteria’s equivalent of shit, not the bacteria themselves!

cunningly avoiding tooth decay by going to bed with a single piece of toilet paper on my tongue for the bacteria to wipe their ass on instead of my teeth

me: *daydreams about opening a cozy bookstore that is also a bakery*

why do mosquitoes have to leave itchy bites. cant they just drink blood w/o ruining my day, like i have a lot of blood, u can have some, this is just excessive

forever removing “agree to disagree” from my vocabulary now i end all my arguments with “live with what makes you comfortable but know that ultimately you’re not telling yourself the truth” and that’s on me being sick and tired <3 we’re burning bridges today

if YOU die because I poisoned you…how is that MY fault like I’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons I think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. Fix yourself before blaming others.

i want to be a cat. jobless. educationless. useless. there to be pretty and soft