Echoing Sorrow

@taichitheaudacious continue from here (x)

Takeru bit his lower lip. Why hadn’t he told Taichi that he quit college and went into modeling? Why did he keep his lover in the dark like this for so long? It wasn’t even him telling Taichi. Taichi had found out from magazines. This was how it all started. It wasn’t like Takeru was trying to keep anything from him. Maybe he was just embarrassed at it or maybe it was because he thought Taichi wouldn’t approve. 

He lifted up his hand and pushed his glasses up on his face more as they had started sliding down. Taichi had a right to be mad at him. He would have been mad at Taichi if he was keeping secrets. 

“I just...” He paused for a moment. “I was going to tell you... I just didn’t know how. I thought that you wouldn’t want me working and that... I don’t know you wouldn’t approve of the choice of modeling? I really don’t know why i didn’t tell you at first. I guess I was nervous about how you would react.” He let out a soft sigh. “You have a right to be mad at me. I shouldn’t have kept it from you so long and pretended I was still in school. But sometimes it feels like you don’t want me to be independent and just rely on you... And I don’t want to keep doing that Tai. I didn’t want you to maybe tell me to quit or to not go for the job opportunity.”

Send “😷” for my muse to faint in public and your muse to come to their rescue.

Taichi and him were suppose to meet each other for lunch today. It rarely happened for Taichi to even offer to go out with Takeru on his lunch break so of course Takeru took up the chance to go have lunch with him. He was almost to the place they were going to meet up when he heard someone screaming and yelling coming afterwards. He stopped  right before he was about to head into the place to turn and see what was going on. 

Once he caught sight of what he had heard his face went completely pale and for a moment he had stopped breathing. Other people among the sidewalk and those who were driving had all came to a stop as well, others even screaming and someone yelling to call 911. They were all staring at the same thing. 

A man was on top of a woman, yelling things at her that didn’t make much sense to Takeru’s ears and stabbing her with the blade he was holding tightly in his grip. Now knowing Takeru’s past blood didn’t really bother him but the way the guy put the knife into her body and twisted it and took it out again to stab her again made him feel more and more sick. 

Flashes of the night he found out about Taich’s little secret and how he brutally murdered someone also played into his head that just made his stomach turn. He felt light headed– dizzy. He couldn’t focus on what was happening anymore. It was like his eyes were glued to the wounds the woman was receiving while his memory was also glued on the horrifying memory of Taichi pulling out someone’s gut. 

His vision was starting to get darker and darker. The voices and noise around him slowly started to phase out. His body started to slightly sway. He could barely hear sirens that were coming out in the far distance. His body started to fall and before he collapsed and blacked out all the way he could have sworn he heard Taichi’s voice. 

He should have gone home by now. He should have called his boyfriend and told him that he was alright. He had been gone for almost two days now. Yesterday he had left for work to model some more like he usually did but when he left there for some reason he didn’t go home. He had stayed out even slept in a cheap motel room that he was debating if he should bother to go back to for another night seeing as it was getting late once again. 

His phone had been turned off since he had gone to work. He knew he should turn it on. He knew that he shouldn’t even be out in this rain. He knew that he should have been home a day ago. He knew he was probably worrying his boyfriend at the moment it was like he didn’t really care. 

He felt numb.

Maybe it was his depression kicking in again. Maybe it was the fact that he really couldn’t pretend that his crest wasn’t there. There was no other reason for him standing out here and not talking to anyone. Not even calling Taichi. He and him didn’t get into any fights. There was no other problem on why he didn’t go home after work. He just felt empty and sad. An unmotivated feeling washing over him where he didn’t even want to take a step because it seemed like it was too much effort. 

Letting a soft sigh escape his lips the feeling of the rain drops were starting to soak his jacket. His glasses already full of water droplets. The roads were beginning to be empty. It was rather strange to watch such a busy road in the day time be so abandoned late at night. 

He moved his right hand to grip his left wrist, holding the sleeve against his skin. Knowing the scars lay underneath. It had been a long time it felt like since he actually used a blade against himself. The last time he remembered using one was the time he got put in the hospital. After that it was like Taichi and him tried to get him out of the habit, out of the need to inflect harm upon himself. 

And it had worked for a while. 

Especially since Takeru knew about what Taichi had been hiding. He was so focused on either being almost like a house wife and also having the thoughts about Taichi’s ‘problems’ always on his mind. Well and his newly job. But yesterday it just had hit him so suddenly. He wasn’t sure what caused him to feel like this when he got off work. He wasn’t sure if it was what he had been reading, posing for, hearing other people chat or anything. Maybe nothing triggered it and maybe it just came all on its own. 

He felt like he was being pulled back into the dark hole he had been in for so long. He felt like his inner demons were dragging him back down and holding him hostage once again. And even if he could scream he knew he wouldn’t be heard. 

He should just let them in again. Let these feelings consume him entirely. 

Hearing one last car drive by had got him out of his slight daze. As he stepped back from the road as to move to not get splashed. His hand had let go of his writs and he slowly took out his phone. He turned it on but put it back into his pocket. If he did have unread text messages or missed calls he was just going to ignore them. 

He leaned against a building, tilting his head slightly. He was on the same sidewalk to head to work or go back home. But he knew he wouldn’t go either way. Not even the sounds of the motel sounded good. His legs just felt heavy and another heavy sigh escaped him. He didn’t want to do anything. Even moving away from the road felt like it took more out of him than it should have. 

He just wanted another blade. 

"Come here."

"Suck me."

"Get on your knees."

"You're going to cum for me now."

"Beg for my cock."

"I want you wet for me."

"Mmm this tight ass/pussy belongs to me. Do you understand?"

"You're mine to play with and do whatever I want to."

"You're just here to satisfy/serve/please me. Is that clear?"

"Shut up. I don't care what you want. You're here to do what I want."

"Do you want to cum?"

"Beg for it."

"Louder".

"Not good enough. Try again."

"Good girl, you can cum now."

"You're such a good boy"

"You make me so hard."

"I want to cum in that wet little mouth of yours."

"I want you to swallow my cum."

"Open your mouth, I want you to drink all my cum."

"Spread yourself open for me so I can see you."