Turned Blood

He seemed to fall silent at her words, which seemed to leave her uncertain of whether they were a reassurance or only adding to his own insecurities. Silence fell between them again, making her attention dart sideways. She had been honest; said too much. If she wanted to, Raven could easily peer into his emotions; but part of her was too frightened to do so. Afraid that she was going to witness something that she didn’t like; that he would claim that it had been a mistake. That he didn’t feel that way anymore, it was just a spur of his emotions. Nothing was said, and she figured that she should say something. Anything that would make him feel more comfortable, was it worth losing a friend over her own ridiculous emotions? 

Her gaze only returned to him when she felt his hands on her, making her realize just how close they were. She could smell the scent of his minty breath, his piercing blue eyes making her want to drown in them. Dark locks of hair were curling to his forehead and she in constant internal combat of whether to push them aside or allow them to hang loosely. Raven had seen beautiful things, but none of them seemed to hold a candle to how god-like and majestic he appeared now. So strong, but so vulnerable. It felt like her heart started to swell, and his added words only contributed to it.  ❛ Jason      ❜  she started. Her breath hitched as he leaned in closer, feeling as his lips pressed softly against hers. The umbrella she held in her hand fell from her fingers, making her fall silent once more.

Even his lips were wet due to the rain, she could feel as his nose brushed against hers. Leaning in closer, her fingers moved to tangle in his dark and damp locks which curled slightly due to the downpour. Her eyelids fluttered closed as she pulled him closer to her, feeling as the material of his clothing clashed with hers; leaving her remaining no longer dry. Despite the closeness of them, she felt that it was never enough. It had just been a taste and now she was hungering for more; everything he would give. There was a reason why people liked each other, fell in love over and over again. The constant yearning for somebody to understand, for affection, to love. She understood it now.

He couldn't really describe how the feeling of her returning his kiss made him feel. Some part of him still searched for a reason to not believe she could really feel the same way he did, but he wasn’t stupid enough to believe something like that; not right now.

As new cold rain drops fell on his shoulders he realized she’d dropped the umbrella. His lips left hers for a moment only to return again just seconds later. He knew he couldn’t be bothered with the rain, but it wasn’t fair that she’d get sick too. So after he allowed himself another kiss, and for his fingers to trace up the back of her neck he separated from her again. Eyes curiously looked her up and down, still seemingly shocked that this was even happening. As lips parted to say something he noticed the rain running down the side of her neck, and decided then to kiss the skin he found there instead and taste the rain.

        Bizarro took one more glance at the scene before him, deciding that maybe he can trust this red stranger. If a good guy said it to be true then it had to be! “Red Hood?” He repeated again for good measure. This stranger really loved the color red didn’t he? Stepping up to the other the bohemith of a man triumphantly posed, hands on hips and chest puffed out to show off the backwards S symbol. “Me am Bizarro! Me am hero like Superman! Me hear gunshots so me fly down to see if there trouble! Then me find Red man with gun! But you am good guy so we must take bad guy to jail now!”

It was a cruel thing, his heart. Things would have been so much easier if it had been one of the ladies in the ice cream shop that he wanted. But no, it wasn’t that simple, was it? He couldn’t change who he liked, who he wanted to be around.

“Maybe that’s exactly why I don’t want to fall off, you ever think of that?“

All that came of an answer to that was a short glance over his shoulder, then a small chuckle and a shake of the head. “Touche.”

A small flush hit her cheeks, but she managed to keep it hidden. “Really?”

In reality, Jubilee had been considering leaving the X-Men behind for a while now. She just hadn’t told anyone yet.

“I’d really appreciate it. You may get sick of me, but, ya know.” She teased, giving a small laugh before wincing, feeling her injury again.

—@requiredbloodletting— [ sc ]

          ‘ take one more step && i will not H E S I T A T E to send your ass               through the nearest window without batting an eye. i don’t take               k i n d l y to people FOLLOWING me. ‘

He was ashamed of his actions, she had felt it before he left. It was still there, lingering between them; shame. She could almost feel the speed capacity that his mind was going, twisting and turning every point in its path. There was restlessness in his energy, almost as if he didn’t know whether to stand still or move. Words were not in his favor either, hearing as he kept stumbling over his points; his mind set in stone, certain of her reaction. When he uttered his last word, she allowed the silence to sink in for a couple of seconds. He had poured it out, everything. It was out in the open.  ❛ I did not mind, ❜  she started. Breaking the distance that was between them with careful steps, gaze leveled to look up at him.  ❛ I just didn’t know that you   saw me, in that way. ❜  What did that even mean? How did he even see her? She did not even know that. It could easily have been something he had done just because he was bored. And yet, it didn’t feel like it; not when he appeared to be so upset by his actions.  ❛ I didn’t mean to frighten you. ❜  Emotions were something she was not allowed to have. She was not Koriand’r, so openly loving and caring; having people flaunting over her everywhere she went. She was used to the attention. Raven was not.

Inching a bit closer to him, a gentle hand rested on his cheek to avert his eyes to look at her. Wanting to express that she was sincere with her words, it wasn’t just something she said to make him feel better. Her thumb stroke carefully against the skin, wiping off droplets of water. Licking her lips slowly, she could feel heat presenting itself onto her cheeks. The smallest somersault in her stomach at the words she was about to say.

❛ I… liked it. ❜

She didn’t mind. Brows instantly crashed together, his first thought being she was only saying this so he didn’t feel bad. His thoughts began to churn and muster up some response that would advise her that she didn’t have to protect his feelings but were stopped dead in their tracks when she stepped forward and continued to speak.

Lips parted to speak, to say something but the weight of her words again-- stopped him dead in his tracks. He wasn’t sure what to stay so he just stood there, probably looking pretty ridiculous if he had the ability to look at himself. Blue gazed down at her, a familiar feeling washing over him, one that made him direct his gaze elsewhere as he heard and felt her draw eve closer. The reality of what she was saying finally settled on him, and now he wasn’t quite sure what to do next now that he knew she wasn’t upset with him. His thoughts were about to begin racing once again until he felt the warmth of her hand against his cheek, and instinctively eyes shifted back to her.. His breaths were measured, though the pounding of his chest grew to be out of control. Never was he ever caught up like this, never. He was always in control of himself, he took pride in that. He wanted to curse himself but the feeling was oddly surreal and he was starting to realize he preferred the unpredictability of it all. Perhaps that was the reason he took it upon himself to kiss her the first time. Maybe it was the gamble that made it worth it too? As he peered down at her and watched her cheeks flush he knew that the possibility of her killing him for encroaching on her space the first time was completely worth seeing her react this way. He was in awe. How could someone be so beautiful? And how the hell did he get away with not noticing it before all this time? How had no one told her this before?

Bandage

@requiredbloodletting

Jubilee looked down, ashamed. “They ain’t gonna care if I show my face or not.”

She knew that it wasn’t fully true, but she had this feeling in her chest that she could stop showing and they wouldn’t notice. She felt entirely useless. “I’d rather die useful than not do shit. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get you wrapped up in all that. Really, I didn’t.”

Jason understood that feeling to a degree. Anytime he was with Bruce and newly acquired team he felt like the odd man out, like they found him to be an enemy more than a useful resource. Perhaps that was how she was feeling about the X-Men.

Jason had been standing outside next to this bridge for 2 hours before he heard footsteps approach. In his defense it had only rained for 1 of the 2 hours, but he decided early on that his thoughts hadn’t concluded so he would stand there until they did. What was he thinking about? Everything. The last time he talked to Bruce, keeping a sleep schedule like Tim told him to so he could realize just how badly his lack of sleep had gotten. The last man he killed, what the point of being Red Hood was, Raven.. would he ever talk to Raven again or would he just be content in leaving her alone? He could break into the Tower if he wanted to, but seeing as he’d already overstepped his boundaries the last time he was there that probably wasn’t a good idea. They probably had extra locks on the place. Hell, they were probably all looking for him to give him a piece of their minds for kissing her like that. If he were to be honest most of his thoughts these days drifted off and ended up on her. Usually mistakes like these didn’t bother him at all, cutting people out of his life was as easy as reloading a gun for him. But for some reason he couldn’t shake that maybe she was owed a better apology than the one he’d given her that night. He’d rested on the idea that if he saw her again he would say something for certain, but now that she was standing next time him he grew completely silent.

On the list of things he expected to happen, getting kissed didn’t rank high at all. He didn’t pay much mind as Jason took the bottle back, mind spinning wildly out of control. And was that a flush in his cheeks? Why yes, yes it was.

That was hardly fair, taking advantage of him like that. He licked his lips, certainly able to taste the alcohol. Not that he cared. John wanted to think, to ponder the implications of what had happened. Instead he leaned over and kissed Jason himself, a hand resting on the other man’s chest. He held the kiss for longer than he should have, but right at that moment he didn’t care. When he finally broke the kiss he didn’t move away, eyes closed as he basked in finally doing what he’d wanted to for so long.

“I shouldn’t have done that,“ he whispered, distantly wondering why it had suddenly gotten so hot in the room.

Now it was his turn to be dumbfounded. In his drunken stupor it was easy to pawn his actions off as being a “joke” or just to get the booze back. Odly he thought after kissing the man they’d go back to regular conversation like nothing had happened, but to his surprise the other had planted a hand on his chest and kissed him full on the lips. So he wasn’t mad?

Her gaze moved studiously over him, pleased with how calm he appeared; as if he was in a better mood. The pull of his emotions lulled her into a peaceful state, it seemed that talking about something that he enjoyed aided him. It felt good. Fingers flickered over the strand of white, lightly pushing it aside so she could look into his eyes. ❝ You’re not a moron, ❞  she clarified easily. He probably knew that but she wanted him to know that she knew that.  ❝ It changes after what I am feeling for, but lately, I do seem to enjoy Kafka a lot. ❞  Despite all the books that she had read, there was still a journey through Earthen books for her. ❝ I think I have some of Lovecraft’s books here. You could read to me, if you want. ❞  What? She enjoyed his voice.

“Whats so wrong with you? I happen to like you, Jason.“

He was a damaged, broken man with potential liver problems, but not a bad man. You know, once you looked passed all the shooting. John wasn’t a fan of that, but he didn’t plan on trying to change Jason. People don’t change easily, and he wouldn’t want to force it. What he wanted was to help Jason to just… be okay. And that started with making sure he didn’t drink himself to death.

“Here, give me that bottle. You shouldn’t drink alone.“ Not that John was old enough to drink, or even planned on taking a swig. He just didn’t want Jason to drink too much. The last thing this place needed was someone throwing up in the corner again. Eugh. 

“Aw, you know you love me. At least according to the mind control.“ Maybe the joke wasn’t funny in a world where actual telepaths could control minds, but he had never been one to think his humor through very well.

Letting his hands be moved, he held on tight, trying not to think too hard about Jason’s body. Carved from fucking marble, honed through years of fighting. Suddenly he was glad Jason couldn’t see him turning red, wondering if it was inappropriate to lean against Jason the way he did.

“Don’t want to fall off,“ he said, holding tighter, though he was more trying to convince himself than Jason.

It wasn’t lost on him how much Jason was drinking, how quickly he was going through bottles. And by the time he’d graduated to hard liquor, the young hero was concerned. Jason could say he wasn’t effected, but anyone with eyes could see that for the bullshit it was. Sitting on the end table so he was across from Jason, he leaned over, elbows resting on his knees. “Dude, I’ve been at this for years. I have seen my fair share of shit. A meta who could melt people with super heated steam. A psychopath who tried to carve me up like a god damn turkey.”

“I’ve had the nightmares. The sleepless nights.“ He sighs, head shaking, “the times fear makes you freeze up, because you know what someone you’re fighting can do. You know how I always got through it? I have a family. People that love me, and would do anything for me. Just like I would for them. Being alone just makes you vulnerable. Makes it easier for those dark things to find purchase in your thoughts.“

He knew the other man was right, knew what he was saying was exactly what he needed to hear but that didn’t change how stubborn he was. He’d always worked alone, always would. It only just now registered that he hadn’t had a solo gig in a long time, always taking John with him. Perhaps that’s what ultimately triggered this. He was starting to realize that without working alone he couldn’t prove to the world that he didn’t need anyone else. That he could do it all on his own. That he was stronger than Bruce, stronger than anyone.