Just....BE HERD

I couldn’t sleep because there was so much on my mind there’s been so much on my heart, and of course my pride and the fear of the answer is what held me back but this feels like the right time to let this out or is it the exact opposite, and this is an emotional impulse

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There are things weighing heavy on my heart

There are questions my brain asks my heart that I can’t be certain on the answers and believe

Is this yet another trial that has been set for us to overcome ?

Or just another layer to be peeled back to reveal a truth that I don’t want to admit to

There’s no doubt there’s love There’s no doubt you’re loved, Not only By me. There’s no doubt arms of my family welcome You with joy. There’s no doubt there’s been growth

But has this plant we’ve sowed outgrown its pot

I’ve been patient , I’ve reflected I’ve prayed , and Im sure I’ve over reacted ..but I’ve never genuinely asked you

Is this truly what you want Am I truly want you want

Do you aspire to the same wants I do?

I desire to be a father , a best friend, a team mate, a soulmate , a co star to an erotic novel or play staring us .

I think I’ve convinced myself that in due time with the so often Joking reminder and exposure that you’re perception on things will sway

still in fear that I maybe my will is overpowering your want And that in moment if it came you would regret and resent it. Instead of feeling refreshed and reinvented

My mirror defrosts daily on the person I am and would like to become , what I need , what I require , what I desire I’ve realized I require I certain amount of affection, I certain amount of challenge I need all barriers removed and transparency, without worry of shame

I require attention and affection unconditionally I need to receive what’s out putted be me

Emphactuation, craved over like the first and smothered like its the last time I’ll be seen,

Like there’s a 315.9 mile barrier that will be brought between the twin bed we lay in at the end of a weekend

In a perfect world there would be a perfect answer to this , that would have me of all people satisfied and speechless , but PerfecT is as far as the letters spelling the very word P and T because there is so much between.