Don’t Play With Matches!
PERSPECTIVE MATTERS... Relationship Matters!
“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD.” ~ Song of Solomon 8:6Â
There is an old saying that can certainly be applicable to relationships: “If you play with fire, sooner or later you’ll get burned.” Eros, love emanating from the heart for a love-interest, is described biblically as “strong as death... Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD.” Now, fire is not to be played with. As purposeful, helpful and useful as fire can be, its power must be contained and well-managed, lest what was purposed to heat your home and cook your food could easily burn down your house and cook your goose.
The best relationships are ones that contain and manage well the notorious power of the fiery love that burns between them. They learn quickly, even instinctively, how to fan the flames of their love without the risk of burning down their house. When building their house, they build it with fire-proofing it in mind. They construct a place for their fire to burn white-hot without risk to their house. They create a fireplace.
A fireplace, more often than not, is constructed for the express purpose of being a gathering place in most homes built today. Since the advent of central heating, electricity and natural gas, fireplaces no longer serve the multiple roles of heating, lighting and cooking in homes today. The emphasis of fireplaces is to provide an inviting central gathering place of social interaction, activity and pure unadulterated romance by the fire. I’ve had the benefit and blessing of having lived in houses with fireplaces not only in the family room, but also in the master bedroom, bathroom and even in the backyard, making a potentially romantic oasis out of multiple rooms as well as outdoors.
The best relationships make a point of building a centrally located fireplace to indulge their passions without burning down their house. They contain their passion from igniting an uncontrollable firestorm of jealousy that can so easily turn the safety of a fireplace into a love destroying inferno. Even the Bible addresses the underside of love between lovers as a potential hot-spot for jealousy that “is fierce as the grave” (Song 8:6). Make no mistake, jealousy kills. Jealousy will burn down your love nest without a thought, so think!
The best relationships know that the antidote to allowing jealousy to ignite a firestorm in your love nest is to talk like friends and play like children. Keep fun at the forefront of your relationship. Communicating lovingly, respectfully and clearly can avoid miscommunication and for the making of wrong-headed, and even worse, wrong-hearted assumptions from creating a firestorm out of your peaceful fireplace. An air of playfulness and light-heartedness gives oxygen to fan the flames of a healthy love while snuffing out the risk of igniting the fierce inferno of jealousy. If you become the source of my joy, I’m left with no reason for seeking joy elsewhere. And if I’m the source of your joy, why on earth would you venture elsewhere looking for what you already have at home. Only a complete fool would allow greed for joy to burn down their house only to leave them homeless and miserable.
If God had anything to do with presenting and joining the two of you, He had more than just your happiness in mind - He had the fulfillment of your complete joy in mind. If you came into your relationship looking for happiness, you came for the wrong reason. You should have been happy before the advent of your relationship. Your misery won’t change because of your being joined to the best partner or relationship. You will only ruin your relationship with the misery you bring into it. Before entering a new relationship, be sure to check your baggage at the front door. You are responsible for your own happiness and will have to answer for your own misery. Your weeping will endure just as long as you choose to remain in the dark of your own night. Your joy will come when you choose to wake up to the dawning of a whole new perspective - God’s perspective. Remember, His mercies are new and fresh each and every morning! Wake up with thanksgiving and joy at the bounty of blessing that lies in the potential of your relationship and live to love it and protect it.
Your current relationship has the potential to be your best relationship. It all depends on what you choose to do with it. Don’t play with matches, play with your match - your assign-mate. With all the mating of various kinds that the two of you may do, don’t leave out being playmates. Do not allow the cares of life and love to snuff out the fun that should come from just being together. The business of love becomes a dreadful exercise if all it becomes is a business. Be sure to inject some fun every day around the fireplace of love you build together. Protect your house. Love joyfully and playfully. Don’t give jealousy a spark of a chance to burn down the love you were meant to joyfully build and enjoy together. Don’t play with matches, play with your match! Perspective Matters...
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