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@relationaltherapist
You are a Living Gem
By Robin Spencer
Every heart that God has made
Is a living gem,
That He has forged, designed and cut
To reflect a part of Him.
To capture and disperse His light
Exactly in His will,
Each heart bears a brilliant fire,
His image to fulfill.
God takes great care to craft each gem,
Polished one by one,
Carefully and perfectly,
Especially for His Son.
He waits for each to come to Him,
His light to break apart,
A single ray from infinity,
His nature in a heart.
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It takes a healthy leader to lead a healthy church. It works the same way with relationships. It takes two healthy people to have a healthy relationship.
John Maxwell said, “People change when they hurt enough that they have to, learn enough that they want to, and receive enough that they are able to.”
Dr. Spencer Johnson’s Who Moved My Cheese? is a business parable about four characters in a maze who lose their cheese.
Cheese is a metaphor for what we want in life (like a job, money, or love), and the maze represents where we spend time looking for it. The story teaches us to accept change instead of fighting it.
The Four Characters
Sniff: Finds change early.
Scurry: Acts fast.
Hem: Fears change and stays stuck.
Haw: Learns to adapt and moves on.
Main Lessons
Change happens all the time.
Watch your situation closely.
Adapt fast when things shift.
Let go of old habits.
Do not be afraid to try new paths.
Look for new rewards.
I can’t always see what’s inside my heart, but I can listen to what spills out.
(But answers about why are not what you need. Waiting for something from them holds you hostage to what the other person might not ever be willing to give.)
Journal prompts to help heal:
I thought of the people in each of the stories from my life and sought to discern what I was carrying in relation to them. I started really focusing in on the reaction I had physically and emotionally to the mention of each person’s name. I asked myself questions like:
Do I cringe? Roll my eyes? Feel my pulse quicken? Clench my jaw? Let out a sigh?
Do I shake my head at the unfairness of good things happening to them?
Do I celebrate secretly when I hear they are having difficulties, with thoughts like, they finally got what’s coming to them?
Do I dream of the moment when I get to present all my proof and hear them finally admit what they did was wrong?
When I talk to other people about this story, am I quick to try and convince others how wronged I was, hoping to elicit a satisfyingly sympathetic reaction from them toward me and some kind of statement affirming how awful my offender’s actions really were?
If they are still a regular part of my life, am I always expecting the worst from them?
Am I easily offended, put off, aggravated, and annoyed by them or people who remind me of them?
OR Do I acknowledge what was hard but feel a sense of calm and peace?
Can I sincerely pray for them when they’re facing difficult things?
Can I manage my emotions when good things happen to them?
Am I eager to share a helpful perspective with others facing a similar situation, hoping to help them get to a better place?
Can I look for what is good in other people?
Do I look for life lessons and collect those instead of grudges?
What hurt might my offender have suffered that would have led them to do what they did?
Can I have compassion for the offender’s brokenness?
Can I be authentically kind to this person who was unkind to me, even with the boundaries I may need to draw?
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I thought of the people in each of the stories from my life and sought to discern what I was carrying in relation to them. I started really focusing in on the reaction I had physically and emotionally to the mention of each person’s name.
I asked myself questions like:
Do I cringe? Roll my eyes? Feel my pulse quicken? Clench my jaw? Let out a sigh?
Do I shake my head at the unfairness of good things happening to them?
Do I celebrate secretly when I hear they are having difficulties, with thoughts like, they finally got what’s coming to them?
Do I dream of the moment when I get to present all my proof and hear them finally admit what they did was wrong?
When I talk to other people about this story, am I quick to try and convince others how wronged I was, hoping to elicit a satisfyingly sympathetic reaction from them toward me and some kind of statement affirming how awful my offender’s actions really were?
If they are still a regular part of my life, am I always expecting the worst from them?
Am I easily offended, put off, aggravated, and annoyed by them or people who remind me of them?
OR Do I acknowledge what was hard but feel a sense of calm and peace?
Can I sincerely pray for them when they’re facing difficult things?
Can I manage my emotions when good things happen to them?
Am I eager to share a helpful perspective with others facing a similar situation, hoping to help them get to a better place?
Can I look for what is good in other people?
Do I look for life lessons and collect those instead of grudges?
What hurt might my offender have suffered that would have led them to do what they did?
Can I have compassion for the offender’s brokenness?
Can I be authentically kind to this person who was unkind to me, even with the boundaries I may need to draw?
Questions to answer that help you to heal and update your frame of reference:
What do I now believe about the person who hurt me or people with whom I’m in a similar type relationship?
What do I now believe about myself?
What do I now believe about other people who witnessed or knew about what happened?
What do I now believe about the world at large because of this situation?
And what do I now believe about God as a result of this whole experience?
Acceptance was acknowledging that the permanent ink is now dry on those pages of my story. I cannot change what happened.
Helen Keller: Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows.
Walt Whitman: Keep your face always toward the sunshine—and shadows will fall behind you.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Life leaps like a geyser for those who drill through the rock of inertia.
1. what was the smell of your classroom today?
2. did anyone cry today? was it you?
3. what's the rule everyone keeps breaking?
4. where do you sit at lunch?
5. what was the hardest part of staying in your seat?
6. what does your teacher do that makes you laugh?
7. if you could change one school rule, which?
8. what was the loudest part of the day?
9. what almost made you cry but didn't?
10. who said something funny that you can't remember?
Wise advice from Korean drama:
“In life there will be storms that come, and your umbrella won’t be enough for her. Just stand and get wet with her. You can endure a lot in life if you have people who stand with you.”
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
Del thought maybe she ought to be nervous, but she felt only the giddy excitement of a seed the moment before it bursts through good soil.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Boredom is the root of all creativity.
Boredom is the space where creativity grows.
Love After Love by Derek Walcott
1930 –2017, Born in the West Indies, Derek Walcott received the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1992.
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.